


Suayeon one-shots

by flowersforme



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Each Chapter is Different, F/F, Fluff, mature scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:28:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 104,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24072961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersforme/pseuds/flowersforme
Summary: A collection of 31 suayeon one-shots.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 98
Kudos: 237





	1. "It will be fun, trust me."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> I'm finally transferring these from aff to ao3.  
> I decided to put them all together and not have a series because I would clog up the whole damn dc tag.
> 
> I did Fictober 2019 with suayeon as a ship, writing it from October 2019 until March 2020.
> 
> Cue the famous sentence: English isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes.  
> Also please note that these one-shots were my first attempt at writing fanfiction so don't be too harsh on me :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 1, 2019  
> Warnings: none

After months of promotions and concerts, the girls finally got a week for themselves. Siyeon had already visited her family and came back today to the dorms to practice even harder. With each comeback, she was gaining more and more confidence, but she was never fully satisfied with her performance.

She entered the dorms and dropped her heavy luggage on the floor while letting out a slight groan. Minji was right, she always overpacks. Leaving her bags in the hallway, she walked over to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. She chugged it all down and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. She leaned on the counter and just took in this rare moment of silence in the dorm. Even though she loved her members and they made her happy, they can get pretty loud, so she appreciated this moment.

She zoned out completely when a small noise outside the kitchen brought her back to reality. _This is how people die in movies_ , she thought to herself.

Feeling her neck getting hot, she slowly grabbed a knife from the drawer.

She walked out carefully and looked to her left. Nothing. She looked to her right. Nothing.

She could feel her heart beating faster. Maybe she misheard? Was she too tired she started imagining things?

No, it was definitely something.

She gulped and decided to check the bathroom first.

Just when she was about to open the door, she felt a hand squeeze her ass and she squealed and turned around immediately only to be greeted by a familiar face.

Bora.

Of course.

She let out a big sigh and whined.

"Are you fucking crazy?!" She pushed her by her shoulder making the other girl fall back a bit. "You've scared me to death!" She leaned on the bathroom door closing her eyes trying to calm herself down. She could feel sweat drops running down her back. Bora was giggling like a mischievous child when she noticed Siyeon holding a knife. Her eyes widened and her hands moved up on their own as she stepped back.

"Why are you holding a knife, oh my god!" She laughed while staring at the sharp knife.

Siyeon looked at her then at the knife. "For protection against idiots like you..." She pretended that she would stab her making the other girl move and flinch. She smiled and walked back to the kitchen.

"Lee Siyeon, you're crazy." Bora laughed and followed her.

Putting the knife back, she walked over to Bora and put her arms around her neck. She loved their height difference, hugging each other always felt better that way. "I've missed you too." Siyeon smirked while Bora hugged her back tightly. They stayed like that for a moment.

"Why are you back anyway, I thought you said you would visit your parents?" Bora asked while breaking the hug and walking over to her room while holding Siyeon's hand. Siyeon was following her and sighed.

"I have, but I erm... wanted to come back to practice some more." Siyeon rubbed the back of her neck and bit her lip. She knew Bora wouldn't be happy with that. She always tried to reassure her that she was doing a great job, but Siyeon was still insecure and pretty stubborn.

"What about you? Had a nice time back home?" Siyeon tried to switch the attention away from her and her workaholic ways. Bora let go of her hand and crouched down to get something out her messy suitcase.

"Ah yes, there it is!" Bora giggled and turned to Siyeon. "For you."

Siyeon was now looking at a cute, black wolf plush that was staring back at her. He had a little fang hanging out which made it so much more adorable.

"Oh my god!" Siyeon exclaimed jumping like a little girl and clapping her hands together. She took it and kissed its nose. "It's so cute, thank you, you really didn't have to." Siyeon smiled warmly and looked over at Bora who was smiling back at her.

"You're welcome. I was at this festival with my family and just had to get it." Bora shrugged.

Siyeon hugged her new friend tightly. "You'll meet your new family soon, don't worry lil wolfie."

Bora laughed at Siyeon being so happy about a simple plush toy, but she couldn't really say anything, her bed was filled with elephants all shapes and sizes.

"So, what do you want to do today miss practice-makes-perfect?" Bora smirked and raised her eyebrows at the younger girl.

Siyeon avoided eye contact and hummed. "I wanted to practice some songs first then maybe go to the dance studio."

Bora kept looking at her with her deep black eyes. "No fun allowed?" She asked.

Siyeon finally looked at her with suspicion. "I know you have something planned so just say it already."

Bora took Siyeon's hands into her own while the latter still held onto her 'lil wolfie'.

"Why don't we..." She looked at Siyeon with her best puppy eyes. "...go...to... an amusement park?"

Siyeon raised an eyebrow and made a face. "An amusement park, really now?" She sighed.

"Pleaseee Singniee..." The puppy eyes grew with intensity and she tightened her grip on Siyeon's hands.

"Ah, I don't know, I'm not really in the mood, plus it looks like it will rain." She knew that was a bad excuse. She knows there was no turning back once Bora had set her mind on something.

"No, it won't! Come on, pretty please!" Bora whined and for a second, she looked like an actual puppy begging you to share your food with it.

Siyeon groaned shaking her head. "Okay, okay, you win. Let's go."

Bora jumped with a satisfied look on her face. She would always get what she wanted. It was her charm. Or maybe Siyeon was just weak for her. Probably both.

\--

They stepped out of the taxi in front of the entrance to the amusement park. Siyeon looked around and saw some of the big rides peeking through. She couldn't lie, she was absolutely shitting it. The last time she was on a rollercoaster was back in high school on a school trip. She didn't remember much, only the adrenaline rush. She sighed and ran her hand through her long hair. Nervous habit.

Bora could tell that Siyeon was scared and took her hand. "It will be fun, trust me." She smiled at her and Siyeon nodded while intertwining their hands together. Her soft, small hand made her calm down a bit.

They got their tickets and were ready to lose their voices. The manager would probably tell them off, but at this point, it was too late.

Bora dragged her to a kid's ride first to ease her into the rides. Siyeon looked at all the kids around them. "I admit, I'm a bit nervous, but really, a kid's ride?" Siyeon adjusted her glasses and acted offended.

Bora scoffed checking her out from head to toe. "Knowing you, you'll probably scream on this one too, you scaredy-cat."

Siyeon hit her arm. "I'm not a scaredy-cat. Come on now, we're next."

The ride wasn't bad at all. They were laughing most of the time making fun of kids that were scared when an unexpected left turn surprised them both and the girls screamed until it was over.

"What was that?!" Siyeon was holding her stomach laughing on the way out.

"What a plot twist, everything was fun and rainbows then bam!" Bora got way into demonstrating and explaining that turn and Siyeon had to stop because her sides and cheeks were hurting from laughing so much. They had to sit down on the nearest bench to catch their breath.

"Wow..." Bora giggled and carefully without ruining her makeup, wiped tears out of her eyes.

"My tummy hurts so much and this was the first ride, honestly, I don't think I can handle others." Siyeon smiled and let out a big breath.

"Why don't we go eat something?" Bora suggested and they both got hotdogs with a can of cola. They sat down on the only free bench they could find and ate in silence watching people around them.

Siyeon saw a group of kids arguing where to go next. The main argument was whether to spend the rest of their money on the biggest ride or buy food.

She was enjoying the scene way too much that she didn't realize Bora's eyes on her. Turning her head their eyes met.

"What?" She asked with a mouthful. Bora smiled and wiped the ketchup off Siyeon's lips.

"You're always such a mess when you eat."

Siyeon narrowed her eyes. "Says you."

Bora got confused then traced Siyeon's eyes to her thighs. There was a spot on her jeans covered in the sauce.

"Ah dammit! Why didn't you tell me!" Bora groaned as she tried to wipe it off her jeans. Siyeon giggled and drank her cola visibly amused by Bora's annoyance.

"You know, I really needed this." Siyeon moved her leg on the bench so she could face Bora. "I came back here with a shitty mood, knowing I have to go practice. This was a fun idea, thank you for dragging me out here." She bit her lip nodding her head as a 'thank you'.

Bora smiled and leaned back on the bench. "I mean, I totally get it. I also want to practice until everything is perfect. I always want to better myself." She broke eye contact and looked into the distance. "I'm far from perfect even though I act like I am. You need to have fun every once in a while. Breaks are important." She looked back at the younger girl who was now carefully listening to her.

"It's silly, but sometimes it's better to have a break than to work. You can't just be 'go go go' all the time. I think this right now will do you good. You'll come back refreshed, ready to be the Siyeon we all know and love." Bora finished her little speech and Siyeon could feel her face glowing red. She smiled shyly and nodded looking at the ground.

"You're right. I think so too. Thank you." She smiled looking over at Bora who winked at her.

"Ready for the next one?" Bora put her hands excitedly on her knees ready to get up.

"Yes! Let's get it!" Siyeon shouted making Bora laugh.

\--

The two girls spent the rest of the afternoon trying out different rides, getting scared at the haunted house, laughing at everything in sight, apologizing to a man that got his drink spilled because Bora didn't watch where she was going, taking lots selfies and sending them to the other girls making them jealous that they weren't here with them.

[Yoohyeon]  
_Aw! Suayeon on a date, have fun guys!_

The girls giggled at the mention of their ship name and send them some more selfies.

It started to get late and the park was closing soon so they headed back to their dorms.

Siyeon stretched her arms while walking inside and yawned. "Oof, I'm so exhausted, what a day." She whined and dropped on the couch in the living room.

Bora leaned against the doorframe. "I'm glad you had fun, scaredy-cat. Should I make us something to eat and we watch a movie?"

Hearing those words, Siyeon sat up fast and looked at Bora with shiny eyes. "Yes! Oh my god, best day ever, you're actually the best, ugh." She dropped again and covered herself with a blanket.

Bora laughed. "This is good for my ego, but don't fall asleep! I want to hear some more compliments." She said as she disappeared into the kitchen.

"I won't.......Hey, I'm not a scaredy-cat!"

\--

Getting changed into their pajamas, Bora snuggled next to Siyeon with their dinner. The smell of it was making Siyeon drool, Bora was such a great cook.

They started eating and Siyeon picked out a movie they both didn't see yet. Bora smiled when she saw the little wolf plush positioned next to Siyeon as if it's also watching the movie. Such a baby.

Full and cuddled up under warm blankets, they watched the movie without talking much. They were sleepy and Bora could feel her eyelids getting heavier each second.

"Hey, Siyeon."

"Mhm?"

"Are you asleep?"

"Almost..."

"I had fun today." Bora smiled while snuggling her head more into Siyeon's shoulder.

"Me too, thank you again. I promise I won't overwork myself..." Siyeon whispered smiling softly and then she dozed off to dreamland hoping to relive this wonderful day again.


	2. "Just follow me, I know the area."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 2, 2019  
> Warnings: none

All seven girls were cuddled up with lots of blankets and food scattered around them. They had a little get together watching movies and just relaxing after a busy day.

Minji and Gahyeon were having a contest who could pull off the cutest face. It was a tough decision, but in the end, Gahyeon won. She was proud of herself; no one could resist the youngest member.

Handong and Yoohyeon were taking selfies and they couldn't decide which one to post for the fans. It got that bad that Handong started cursing in Chinese.

Yubin was minding her own business reading a book that she recently got from a fan. She had to admit, her fans knew her very well as the book was getting more and more intense. She groaned as she heard the group's lovebirds making out.

"Can you two get a room already, it's starting to get really interesting and all I can focus on is you two eating each other's faces. Keep it down, please." She shoved the book back in her face turning her back on them.

Siyeon was lying on top of Bora and they both were now laughing at Yubin while she roasted them and Bora pulled the blanket over their faces from embarrassment. Siyeon smiled as she kissed her again. Bora caressed her soft cheek and kissed her nose making Siyeon giggle. She put her head on Bora's chest and closed her eyes. Bora removed the blanket off their heads.

"I really can't breathe under this." She laughed and Siyeon positioned herself so she could look at Bora.

"What?" Bora whispered looking at her.

"Nothing... I just remembered how we first met."

"Oh, the best day of my life." Bora winked.

"Sure." Siyeon rolled her eyes, but deep down she hoped it was.

"I saved your ass that day..." Bora chuckled. "If you hadn't bumped into me, you probably wouldn't be here right now in my arms."

"You could've just walked away, but you didn't. You saw a crying girl being lost in a huge city and late for her audition that would change her life. I'm forever thankful." Siyeon leaned in and kissed her gently. Bora kissed her back and hugged her tightly.

"I guess it was just meant to be."

\--

_A few years earlier._

Siyeon never imagined that life would take her to Seoul. She always thought she would stay in Daegu, the city she grew up in. There was always the desire to move to the capital because of many opportunities, but it never really crossed her mind that it could actually happen.

Today was the day.

Looking through the window at the beautiful countryside, a fast train was taking her to the city that could make her dreams come true. She was bobbing her head and tapping her feet to the rhythm of the song she was listening to. She was sitting alone so she could fully get lost in her thoughts without being distracted by other passengers. She sighed as she leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.

It was really happening. One audition to change the course of her life. It wouldn't be her first one. She auditioned a few times before for various companies, but the judges there always complained about something. She bit her lip at the memories. _I guess I just wasn't ready back then._

She looked over at her bag and opened it. She took out a flyer that had the information she needed. Happyface entertainment. Could this be it?

She checked her phone. 11 am. She would get to Seoul in about thirty minutes and then the auditions would start at 2 pm. That was more than enough time to check out the city for a bit.

\--

Bora was sitting on a bench in a park waiting for Minji. The weather today was great so they agreed to hang out. Even though Bora was younger by three months, she was already a trainee for three years when Minji recently joined. They clicked right away and Bora helped her around with everything. She realized right away that Minji had what it takes. She was beautiful, she had the charisma, her voice was like honey and she could dance for hours. She hoped they could debut together one day.

"Hey sorry, I'm a bit late."

That beautiful honey voice brought Bora back to reality as she saw Minji in front of her.

"No problem, let's go!"

\--

Everything that could've gone wrong for Siyeon, went wrong. She fell asleep on the train so she missed the exit she was supposed to take. It was one that was the closest to the company. Now she had to deal with her mistake.

12 pm. She still had time until the audition.

She tried not to panic much and started going through her bag. Luckily, she had some money saved up so she took a bus ride that would take her to her destination.

12:30 pm.

 _Yes!_ She smiled to herself. _Everything_ _is_ _fine_. _I've_ _made_ _it_. She exhaled deeply as she stepped out. She looked around and asked an older lady if she was at her destination. The lady moved her head to one side and looked confused. "Oh no, darling, the place you're looking for is west from here, like an hour away."

Siyeon froze on the spot. _No,_ _this_ _can't_ _be_ _happening_. She took the wrong bus. She thought it started raining, but it was just her sweat showering her body.

She stared at the lady with disbelief and just quietly muttered a 'thank you'. She walked around a bit still not fully accepting what happened.

She checked her phone. 12:45 pm.

She took out the company's flyer again and looked at the number at the bottom. Maybe she could call them and reschedule? No, that would be stupid, they wouldn't do that just for her. She was just one in the sea of hundreds who also wanted to audition. She grabbed the paper tightly as she felt tears coming out of her eyes.

 _Dammit,_ _Siyeon_. _One_ _time_ _you_ _don't_ _need_ _to_ _fuck_ _up_ _and_ _you_ _do_. She silently cried and she turned around and the next thing she knew she was falling on the floor after bumping into someone.

"Oww... Why'd you turn around so fast?"

Siyeon looked up and for a second thought she was in heaven and there was an angel in front of her. A black-haired angel with pale skin that was glowing in the sun was staring at her offering her hand to help her up.

"Thank you... and sorry... I'm just having a shit day." She picked up her bag and noticed the other girl picking up the flyer she dropped when they bumped into each other.

"Happyface entertainment?" Asked the girl with curiosity in her eyes.

Siyeon wiped her tears and nodded. "Yeah, I wanted to go to the audition there, but I got lost and there's no way I'll make it. It's at 2 pm and now it's almost 1 pm." She sighed trying not to cry again.

The other girl was looking at her then back at the flyer. "Just follow me, I know the area." She took the hand of the crying girl and started walking fast. Siyeon didn't say anything. She trusted her. She looked confident enough. She looked great in those denim shorts as well. Siyeon bit her lip and moved her eyes away from the girl's ass and looked at other people on the bus.

"We're almost there, you'll make it."

Checking her phone, it said 1:35 pm. She kept on following her angel sent from heaven and as they turned around the block, she saw a line of people and in big letters the company's name. 1:55 pm. She sighed in relief putting hands on her knees. The other girl smiled and she didn't have time to react as she got attacked by a hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Siyeon buried her face into her neck and she felt pathetic as her eyes filled with tears again.

Her angel returned the hug as she giggled. "Hey, hey, it's okay! Go now!"

Siyeon nodded and as she was about to leave, she turned around.

"Hey wait! What's your name!"

She just wanted to know the name of the girl that helped her. She couldn't possibly know that that name would stand next to hers in promotional flyers, album jackets, fan events, YouTube videos, and so many other things. She couldn't possibly know that that girl would be her first love.

"Bora. Kim Bora."

\--

The way she said her name echoed in Siyeon's head on the way back home.

 _I_ _hope_ _we_ _meet_ _again,_ _Kim_ _Bora_. 


	3. "Now? Now you listen to me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 3, 2019  
> Warnings: none

Practicing the new dance was a pain in the ass. They always have a difficult choreography each comeback and they love being able to stand out from other girl groups, but this one was next level.

Bora paused the song on the laptop as the other girls were catching their breaths.

"Siyeon, you're late again, just follow the rhythm. You're supposed to stand here and do it like this." Bora danced the part she was explaining and Siyeon sat down on the floor not really watching her.

"I can't do it, it's too confusing, someone else should do it." She whined and looked at her tired feet.

"We can't change the whole choreo now just because you're insecure, come on, watch me." Bora tried again and danced slowly explaining each move carefully with her body.

"No, just let it go. It's too hard. I'll just switch."

"No, come on, just watch how I do it. It's easy." Bora's blood started to boil as she looked at Siyeon in the mirror who was giggling with Yoohyeon about something. She was completely ignoring Bora.

"Hey!" Bora yelled making everyone turn their heads. "Will you pay attention or what?" She put her hands into fists and stared at Siyeon.

Siyeon shrugged and rolled her eyes. "As I said, I can't do it, leave me alone." She got up and walked over to the other side of the room. Bora watched her then looked at Yoohyeon who just put her hands in the air like she was saying ' _sorry_ , _I_ _don't_ _know_ _what's_ _with_ _her'_.

Minji walked over to Siyeon who was now sitting against the wall scrolling through her phone.

"Why are you acting like this? She was just trying to help you." Minji crouched and put her hands on Siyeon's shoulders who didn't look up.

"Have someone else do it, I'll just switch positions with someone. It isn't a big deal."

"But it's your part, where you have to sing the chorus..."

Siyeon didn't answer and ignored all the eyes that were on her now. Bora was chewing on her bottom lip. She was so angry she almost made it bleed.

"If it isn't a big deal, get your ass up and practice."

"You're really persistent aren't you Bora? Not everyone can dance like you. It's too hard for me. Just drop it already..." Siyeon let out a sigh and continued scrolling through her phone.

Bora was watching her for a while and she had enough.

"If you're going to be a whiny, fucking child then please get out the room and let us practice in peace. We don't need you here." Bora said loudly and turned her back to her.

Siyeon lifted her head and looked over at Bora who was walking over to the laptop wanting to play the song again. No one said a word and Gahyeon clang onto Yoohyeon. They were both scared of what would happen next.

"Fuck you." Siyeon said while quickly getting out of the room before the girls could see her cry. She slammed the door making everything on the walls shake a bit.

A moment of silence took over.

"Bora was that really necessary..." Minji was disappointed that she couldn't prevent this. They both went too far.

"Yes, it was. She's acting like a baby. No one here complains. We all do our job, it's always her. Gahyeon is the youngest yet she's more mature than her."

Siyeon was behind the door and she could hear Bora spitting out those hurtful words. She felt her heart aching and walked away.

Handong sighed not knowing where to look.

"Let's just get back to practice..." Yubin said quietly running fingers through her hair.

\--

Siyeon knew they would look for her at the dorm so she went to one of the vocal practice rooms. She sat on the chair and put her head in her hands trying to stop herself from crying. It wasn't the first fight she had with Bora, but it hurt each time. Fighting with other girls was annoying, but with Bora, it was mentally and emotionally exhausting. She was her best friend and she loved her with all her heart, okay, maybe even had an actual crush on her, so it stung a bit more hearing those words come out of Bora's mouth. She wiped her tears on the sleeve of her hoodie.

"God, I hate this..." She put her hands on her forehead intertwining her fingers as she leaned back in the chair. _Okay_ , _maybe_ _I_ _was_ _a_ _bit_ _dramatic_... _This_ _whole_ _day_ _has_ _felt_ _weird_ , _something_ _like_ _this_ _was_ _bound_ _to_ _happen_ _today_. _But_ _she_ _didn't_ _have_ _to_ _snap_ _like_ _that_... _She_ _knows_ _I_ _hate_ _it_ _when_ _she's_ _like_ _that_. She closed her eyes feeling tears forming again.

\--

The six girls were at the dorm eating dinner.

"So, where's Siyeon..." Gahyeon dared to ask and looked around at everyone stopping her eyes on Bora. Bora didn't react at all at her question and continued eating her food in silence. Minji took her phone and texted Siyeon to come out eat before the food got cold or she would personally go find her and feed her until she wouldn't be able to move anymore.

After 15 minutes, they heard the door and a red, puffy face appeared in the kitchen. She was barefaced and they could tell she cried her heart out.

She looked at the empty seat next to Bora. It was hers. They always sat together and ate.

The tension was rising again and you could cut it with a knife.

She bit her lip hesitating to move when Bora stood up. "I'm finished." She put her plate in the sink and walked out ignoring Siyeon completely.

"Come eat now." Minji took her hand and rubbed it with her thumb.

She was thankful to Minji because she was starving the whole day. The worst thing was that she knew Bora cooked all of this.

\--

Bora was already in bed when she heard Yoohyeon coming into the room. She climbed up into her bunk and sighed.

"Today was kinda shit huh..."

"I guess."

"I think you went too far. You know how she is. She takes it all to heart. She was really hurting back there."

"Yoohyeon, I'm really not in the mood. Goodnight."

Yoohyeon bit her lip and turned off the light not wanting to anger her more.

\--

The next morning was busy as they had a busking event. They had no time to eat and were in the van that will take them to their location. The atmosphere was still thick, but everyone was sleepy so no one really cared as they stayed quiet trying to nap during the ride.

When they arrived, they were greeted by many fans who patiently waited to see their favorite idols. Siyeon waved at some of them and stayed quiet. Since she now had a cool image to keep up, she didn't smile much and she was relieved she didn't have to fake it. Bora was on the other end waving at fans smiling brightly. Siyeon couldn't tell if she was faking it or she actually didn't care that they weren't talking. The thought of that stabbed her heart and she looked down on the ground as the fans kept taking pictures with their big cameras.

\--

Getting back to the dorms, Siyeon was lying in her bed browsing social media via her secret accounts. She loved seeing fangirls losing it completely because of something she had done. But today wasn't the same. She had a couple of fansites and she looked so sad in each picture they took. Fans were commenting on how she was really out of it today and how she didn't interact much. One fan noticed that Bora didn't even look at her once, ' _maybe_ _they_ _fought',_ they wrote. She couldn't suppress the sad smile that appeared on her lips. Their fans knew them so well.

As she was reading more comments someone knocked on the door and came in. None other than Bora herself. Siyeon looked up and froze when she saw her unexpected guest. They looked at each other and Siyeon sat up on her bed.

"I'm sorry, Siyeon." Bora leaned on the door and sighed.

"I'm sorry too..." Siyeon was playing with her fingers and couldn't look at her.

Bora was waiting for eye contact, but it just wasn't happening.

"Um... I'm listening..."

"Now, now you listen to me? And not when I was trying to show you the dance?"

Siyeon stayed silent like a kid who didn't do their homework on time.

"Can you at least look at me?"

Siyeon bit her lip and looked up. They've known each other for years now, but the older girl was still so intimidating at times.

"I went too far, I never meant to hurt you. I was just frustrated with the whole progress and the frustration came out. I'm sorry, really."

"It's okay... I get it. I was acting stupid..." Siyeon nodded lightly.

"I was just trying to help you... I didn't know what else to do and you were completely ignoring my help."

"You're right, I'm sorry... Can you please practice it with me?"

Bora wanted to say something more but just smiled.

"Can we start right away?" Siyeon tried to hide her smile and nodded. They hugged tightly and Bora kissed her cheek making Siyeon blush.

As they opened the door, they saw their members getting startled as they moved back from the door. They were listening to everything and got caught.

"It's not how it looks! Really! We were just...um..." Yubin tried to lie, but Bora gave her a look.

"Run before I beat you all up!"

The girls laughed in panic and ran away as fast as they could, happy that everything was back to normal, as it should be. 


	4. "I know you didn't ask for this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 5, 2019  
> Warnings: none

"It's in our and the group's best interest to keep things on the low. I hope you fully understand the consequences if such information gets out."

Siyeon and Bora nodded slowly at the CEO's honest words. They understood everything, they weren't stupid, they knew how the industry worked, but it still hurt that they couldn't show the world that they were together. They've worked so hard for this and were slowly climbing up, getting recognized for their efforts. Something as big as this could ruin everything. It would be the main focus of the group, a lesbian couple, they didn't want that. They didn't want to overshadow their members. Everyone in the group deserved to shine, not just them. They wanted to shine for their talent and personality, not their sexuality and relationships.

"We understand." Siyeon spoke softly.

"We don't want to ruin the company, but we also didn't want to hide either. We are all a big family and everyone here deserves to know." Bora followed up and put her hand on Siyeon's thigh under the table. Their manager saw the scene and smiled a bit.

"I'm happy that you were brave enough to come to me with that, I appreciate honesty more than anything." The CEO spoke again.

"Girls, I hope you're careful. Don't go overboard in public, you can still do some fanservice since some fans actually want you together. Especially international fans, they are more open to that. But here in Korea, it isn't the same. So, I beg you to obey our words." The manager talked and everyone at the table nodded in agreement.

"You have our word." Bora said with confidence and the CEO dismissed them all.

\--

"So, how'd it go?" Minji asked sitting on the couch joining the other girls.

Siyeon shrugged. "Good, I think. They weren't mad. Which is great. But we have to be extra careful now. One mistake at an event, it's all over." She played with Bora's fingers not really knowing how to feel about the situation.

"Are you going to stay away from each other in public?" Gahyeon asked and ironically ate popcorn that she prepared for the drama she wanted to watch later, but this one was far more interesting.

Bora shook her head. "No, that would look too suspicious. We will just be normal with each other, without the flirty looks and touchiness."

"But that will be hard, especially for you Bora, we know how touchy you are..." Minji smiled at her as she remembered all the times Bora touched her inappropriately.

Bora exhaled loudly. "I'll still be touchy, it's basically my image." She snorted being amused at that. "I just won't go overboard." She shrugged as the girls nodded.

"What about you two?" Siyeon asked looking back and forth between Minji and Yoohyeon. Yoohyeon almost choked on the water she was drinking and had Handong slap her back a few times.

"Wh-What about us?" Minji let out a nervous laugh. _Are we that obvious?_

"You guys are so obvious, I thought you'd come out before we did." Bora smirked.

"I really don't know what you're talking about... I'm tired, I'm going to bed." Yoohyeon quickly stood up disappearing from the scene leaving everyone behind laughing while Minji put her face into a pillow and screamed from embarrassment.

\--

Bora was getting ready for bed as she changed into a loose T-shirt that looked like a dress on her short body. She took off her sweatpants and didn't bother to put something over her panties. The big T-shirt was comfortable enough. She was alone in the room as Yoohyeon had some unfinished business with Minji. Bora smiled at Yoohyeon's empty bed and shook her head. She finally got into hers and pulled down the privacy curtain she put together. Almost falling asleep she heard someone walk in.

"Baby?" A soft voice called for her and made her smile.

"Come." She said softly and her girlfriend got into the bed and snuggled close to her under the big duvet.

"Did I wake you up?" Siyeon asked as she kissed Bora's cheek.

"No... almost... I'm really sleepy though." Bora yawned and moved closer feeling the warmth of Siyeon's body. "You're always so warm, my little wolf..." She hid her cold nose into Siyeon's shoulder. Siyeon kissed her head and hugged her tightly never wanting to let go. She wasn't tired at all. Her mind was racing with thoughts about today's talk and honestly, she was scared.

 _What if we somehow get caught? What if we slip up? What if Bora gets tired of it? What if she falls out of love with me?_ The thoughts were haunting her mind as she felt Bora's chest slowly rising and falling to the rhythm of her breathing. She was fast asleep and there was no point in waking her up now to discuss these things. Siyeon kissed her forehead gently and she closed her eyes trying to relax and get some sleep herself.

\--

Slowly waking up, Bora felt pressure on her body. Still sleepy she opened her eyes to see Siyeon clinging onto her like a baby koala. _How can she pretend she's some scary wolf when she's this soft?_ She thought to herself and smiled. Their legs were intertwined and Bora was loving every second of this. They confessed their feelings to each other only a month ago and with officially dating, it made these small moments so much more precious. Unfortunately, it was disturbed by her alarm going off making Siyeon wake up groaning. Bora turned it off and tossed her phone aside.

"Sorry baby...but we have to get up."

6:30 am. Waking up early almost every day was a necessity for their busy lives. Today they had two interviews and were later performing at a show with many other idols.

"I don't want to..." Siyeon whined into Bora's chest. Bora rubbed her back gently feeling her soft skin and yawned again. She didn't want to go either, but there was no way around it.

Minji suddenly opened the door. "You two, up now." She said it making both girls groan in frustration.

\--

"If you were a guy, which girl in the group would you date?" The interviewer spoke and Siyeon wanted to roll her eyes so badly at the hetero crap, as she called it. _Why must we always be a guy?_

"I'd date Bora." Siyeon said right away making the girls say 'oh' in unison. Each member picked and Bora picked Minji.

Siyeon didn't want to lie to herself that she didn't felt hurt, but she knew it's for the best. _Bora can't just pick me...right?_ She bit her lip not hearing the next questions. She got lost in her thoughts again.

\--

On the way to the performance, Bora took her hand. "Everything okay? You seem a bit off."

"I'm just tired." Siyeon faked a smile and nodded.

Bora wasn't really buying it, but she let it go.

\--

She wasn't really a jealous person, but the scene that was unfolding in front of her eyes made her twitch from anger. Bora was enjoying the presence of this other girl idol and they were laughing talking about something that was apparently so damn interesting. Siyeon crossed her arms and was staring at them as the girl put her hand on Bora's arm while still fully engaging in their talk.

"What the fuck is this..." Siyeon whispered as Bora leaned in closer to the girl's ear.

Yubin's hand on her shoulder made her turn her attention away from them. "Relax okay... They are just talking. They are friends. No one likes an overly jealous girlfriend."

"It pisses me off, why does that bitch have to touch her like that and why is Bora whispering into her ear?" Siyeon pouted looking back at them.

"It's probably because of the loud music, but your jealous ass can't comprehend that." Yubin giggled as Siyeon hit her arm.

"Oh shit, wait Siyeon! Fuck..." Yubin watched her as the jealous girl walked over to her girlfriend and 'the bitch' as she named her.

"Are you done? We have to go on stage in like three minutes."

"Uh, yeah, I'll be right back." Bora looked at her and noticed Siyeon's intense eyes.

The other girl wanted to introduce herself, but Siyeon was long gone.

\--

The performance went great as always and the girls came back to their dorm.

"Hey what's with you today? Did that alarm clock mess you up that badly?" Bora smiled running fingers through her wet hair from the shower and she sat next to Siyeon on the couch in the living room. Siyeon was watching some tv show and didn't answer.

"Hey! I was watching that!" She yelled when Bora turned the tv off.

"You can watch it later, now you will talk to me. I asked you something." Now it was Bora with an intense look and Siyeon looked away.

"I-I don't know if I can do this..." She exhaled and closed her eyes.

"Do what?" Bora never stopped looking at her and was more confused than ever.

"This..." Siyeon pointed with her hand back and forth towards Bora and herself. Bora's jaw fell a bit.

"You're fucking breaking up with me?" Bora slowly stood up with a shocked expression written on her face. She felt her whole body shake.

"What? No! Dammit, Bora, no, oh my god." Siyeon was shocked by hearing Bora's conclusion. She rubbed the sides of her head feeling the headache coming.

"Then what..." Bora asked her still not recovering from the initial shock.

"This... This whole hiding thing. You interacted with everyone today and only had small interactions with me, basically nothing..." Siyeon frowned. "Hell, you grabbed Yoohyeon's ass like twice today, you said you'd date Minji, later you and that stupid bitch were on a verge of making out right in front of me..." She breathed out everything so fast, Bora had no time to process her words. "I just.. I know it's literally the first fucking day since we said it to the company, but I already miss our interactions. And it doesn't seem like you do as well..." Siyeon was staring at her nervous fingers that were playing with each other.

Bora was looking at her wanting to yell that she was stupid, but it wouldn't resolve anything. Instead, she sat back down pulling Siyeon's legs over her lap.

"I know you didn't ask for this." She began. "I didn't either. But it is what it is. Some days it will be easier, other days it will be really fucking hard. If you're going to get jealous so easily, it won't end well..."

Siyeon was now silently crying and Bora was wiping her tears away.

"You have to be strong. Do it for me. Do it for us. I'm yours forever silly. Nothing can separate us, I promise you."

Siyeon placed her hand on Bora's cheek and leaned in kissing her softly. "I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me...'

Bora put her hand onto Siyeon's squeezing it tightly pulling it down gently so she could kiss her again. She leaned her forehead against Siyeon's.

"I love you... so much." 

"I love you too." Siyeon gazed into Bora's eyes. The eyes Bora loved the most. The eyes full of love. Not those intense, cold, jealous eyes that could kill.

They stayed like that for a second. Bora smiled as she leaned back a bit picking up the tv remote.

"So, what were you watching again?" She wanted to turn the tv back on but felt a hand taking the remote off her putting it away.

"Doesn't matter anymore..." Siyeon kissed her again as she pulled Bora by her shirt making them fall onto the couch giggling into the kiss. 


	5. "I might just kiss you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 5, 2019  
> Warnings: small sexual scene at the beginning

Siyeon put her hand around the back of Bora's neck making her feel her long nails against her skin. They both leaned in as they finally pressed their lips together.

Heaven sent feeling.

Slowly opening their mouths, they let their tongues meet making Bora want more as she began to straddle Siyeon on the bed never breaking the heated make-out session. Siyeon stopped to take off her top and Bora's hands moved to unclip her bra. As Bora was kissing down her collarbone, Siyeon suddenly started aggressively nudging Bora's body ignoring her confused face. Bora wanted to say something, but words weren't coming out of her mouth. Instead, she abruptly opened her eyes to see Yoohyeon staring at her.

"Ah, finally." she sighed, "Sorry, but I was trying to wake you up for the last fifteen minutes. We have to go to the company to practice the new dance. You'll be late if you don't get up."

Bora groaned and pulled the duvet over her sleepy face making the younger girl laugh. _It was just a dream..._ She licked her lips trying to feel Siyeon's lips on them again. _Dammit. If only Yoohyeon let me sleep for a bit more..._

She rubbed her face and got up to take a shower. She couldn't get that dream out of her head. She wanted it to be real so badly.

She stood under the showerhead letting the warm water run down her body. She bit her lip and moved her hand down and started touching herself slowly. She remembered Siyeon's nails on her neck and flinched a bit. She didn't know how she would look her in the eye today. She dreamt of her before, but it never felt that real, that intense. She was still biting her lip not letting out a single moan when she finished and she turned the water to cold now. She was staring into space when Yoohyeon's voice interrupted her again through the door.

"Bora, seriously, come on now! You're short, you don't need that much water!" Bora could hear her smiling while she said that.

"I'll get out just to hit you!" She shouted back and sighed. _This will be a long day..._

\--

Arriving at the dance studio with Yoohyeon, Bora's eyes nervously scanned the room not seeing the girl from her dream.

"Where's Siyeon?" She asked the girls that were there.

"Oh, hey you two. Siyeon's recording her new special clip today, she'll come back later to join us." Minji answered. Bora nodded and took off her blue hoodie. She had mixed feelings. She wanted to see her badly, but at the same time, she was relieved that she didn't have to look at her and be constantly reminded of her hot dream. She fixed her clothes and started stretching with the other girls ready to dance and lose herself in the music.

\--

"Hey you sweaty girls, did you miss me?" Siyeon walked into the room coming straight from her shoot. Her face had light, natural makeup, and her hair was moving from side to side with each step she took. Wearing a white blouse and black skinny jeans with some boots, she looked stunning. Bora chewed on her lip hiding her smile. Siyeon looked like a model and Bora only had on a crop top and shorts while her skin was glistening from the sweat.

Such a mismatch.

Bora watched Siyeon as she walked over to a corner to undress.

"Oh, you got your dance clothes here?" Gahyeon asked pointing to her bag.

"Yeah, I knew I'd be coming here so I prepared them before." She answered as she was now just in her underwear. Bora didn't know if it was the dancing or Siyeon's body that made her thirsty, so she drank a bit from her water bottle. She scanned her whole body up and down stopping her eyes at her muscular thighs and moving them back up to her chest.

"How's the choreo?" Siyeon asked looking directly at Bora catching her staring.

"Huh? Uh, it isn't too bad. You'll catch up quickly..." Bora answered looking away embarrassed. Siyeon was still watching her carefully as she got fully dressed. The girls asked her about her shoot and they were chatting a bit before the choreographer told them to get started again. Bora chucked her water bottle away and closed her eyes trying to focus again on the dance.

\--

Breathing heavy, all of them lied down on the floor.

"Okay girls, good job, see you again tomorrow." The choreographer said and left. Bora sat up supporting herself on her hands. Her body froze when Siyeon put her head on her thigh. She had her eyes closed and exhaled. Her day was pretty busy and she was tired already and Bora's thigh was a comfortable pillow. With a brain on its own, Bora's hand moved away a hairstreak from Siyeon's forehead making the girl smile as she looked up at Bora.

"We will go, what about you two?"

The other members were getting their phones and bags.

"I'll stay here to practice a bit more." Bora told them. She was always the one to stay longer and practice. She knew no one would question her. She was their main dancer; it was expected of her to do so.

"I didn't fully grasp the whole choreo since I came late, so Bora will teach me." Siyeon said and smiled at Bora.

"I will?" Bora asked and could feel her body stiffening. Siyeon nodded and sat up. They said bye to the girls and now the studio felt emptier and quieter, building up the tension between the two remaining girls. Bora massaged her neck a bit.

"Should we get over the whole dance or do you have problems with certain parts?" Bora tried to act as professional as she could.

"Um, we can go over everything." She smiled looking at Bora in the mirror.

\--

Bora stayed her distance explaining each move carefully. They were having fun, but the tension remained. An hour ago, Siyeon caught her checking her out. Bora was sure her eyes were filled with hunger staring down her features. She hoped Siyeon forgot about it.

"Can I ask you something?" Siyeon turned to her nibbling on her lip.

"Shoot." Bora gulped and looked at her nervously.

"Why were you staring at me while I was getting undressed back then?" Siyeon raised her eyebrow and bit her thumb.

_Fuck._

"I mean everyone was, you just came in and were the center of attention." Bora shrugged tried to look disinterested in the whole topic.

"Sure, whatever." Siyeon teased smiling.

"Shall we practice our duo dance?" Bora asked running fingers through her hair as she picked up her phone to find the song. Siyeon agreed as she moved closer to her dance partner. Bora always looked great, but today's crop top and shorts were making it hard for Siyeon to focus.

The song started playing and as they danced, Bora caught glimpses of Siyeon looking at her lips. She licked them and danced closer to Siyeon as the song was coming to an end. The ending pose was them standing in front of each other staring deep into each other's eyes. The choreographer was positive that the fans would love it. The two girls loved it as well, but now the tension was unbearable. It felt like the studio got smaller and it was hard to breathe. Bora looked into Siyeon's eyes then looked down at her lips that were calling for hers. Siyeon could feel Bora's breath on her lips as they both leaned in closer. If one of them moved only a bit, their lips would touch yet both didn't dare to make the first move. Bora looked again into Siyeon's eyes then back to her soft lips.

"I might just kiss you." She whispered and Siyeon could feel the words on her lips. She was hesitating a bit.

"Kiss me." She finally let out. She was breathing heavily. She had been waiting for Bora for years and it was finally happening. Bora wrapped her arms around Siyeon's neck kissing her and Siyeon pulled her by the waist making their bodies touch. They were kissing slowly, enjoying the moment and fully exploring each other's lips. Neither of them could believe what was happening, but they didn't want to stop. They were craving this for so long and they finally got the courage to do something about it. Bora broke the kiss leaning back biting her lip.

"So, this one is real."

Siyeon looked at her and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Nothing..." Bora shook her head and kissed her again.


	6. "Yes, I'm aware. Your point?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 6, 2019  
> Warnings: none

Siyeon was a trainee now for almost a year. Each day was a new challenge, but she knew what she was signing up to. It was her dream since she was a child. Always singing every chance she got. She improved so much, even her dancing got better. The other trainees were friendly and she got really close to a few of them, especially with Bora.

At first, Siyeon was intimidated by her, since she was older than her, but she was actually a big softie. She immediately saw that Siyeon was a lost puppy and offered to help her with everything. She showed her how stuff worked at the company and took her around Seoul. She helped her with dancing while Siyeon helped her with singing. They were great partners in crime, but also each other's shoulder to cry on when life got a bit too much. They quickly became best friends.

"Will you come over to my flat later? We didn't have a sleepover in so long." Bora asked while walking through the big hallway leading to the exit of the company's building.

"Sure, I'll text you later." Siyeon said while playfully slapping the ass that was walking in front of her. Bora turned around giving her a look and Siyeon expected to be hit.

"Oh baby, do it again!" Bora pushed her ass up towards the younger girl making her laugh loudly and slapping her again. They went outside and hugged each other before they went their separate ways.

\--

Bora walked out of the shower and dressed into a loose black shirt when her phone buzzed. Thinking it was Siyeon, she picked it up only for her guess to be wrong. A text from an unknown number.

[Unknown]  
 _Hey Bora! It's Lee Minsoo :)_  
 _Siyeon gave me your number._  
 _I was wondering if you would want to hang out tomorrow after practice?_

Bora threw her phone aside and let herself fall face first on her bed. She knew who Minsoo was. He was also a trainee at their company. They've talked maybe once or twice, but nothing more. _I'll kill you Siyeon..._

She picked up the phone again and stared at the text. He seemed like a nice guy, he always greeted her brightly, but she just wasn't interested. In fact, she wasn't interested in anyone, she was too focused on practicing and just getting through life.

Another buzz.

[Asshole <3]  
 _Hey buttface, can I come over in an hour?_

Bora started typing back.

[Buttface <3]  
 _Siyeon I swear to god I'll kill you when you come here I'm serious omg why would you give Minsoo my number are you crazy omg you could've asked me first ahhhhh you're really dead wow it's been nice knowing you_

But then she shook her head and deleted it.

[Butfface <3]  
 _Hey asshole, yes you can, see you :)_

She hit send and smiled at her passive-aggressive emoji. _She's so dead._

\--

Bora ordered pizza and prepared some snacks and drinks for them. Living alone was tough, but she preferred it that way. She didn't mind company, but she cherished her solitude more.

Hearing someone knock on her door in a unique pattern, she knew it was her best friend. They've agreed to it, because of safety reasons. It was a big city and anything could happen. Unlocking the door Siyeon quickly busted in.

"I need to pee so badly, oh my god!"

She ran to the bathroom and Bora laughed shaking her head. She loved that crackhead, even though she would definitely kill her later. Siyeon stepped out and Bora was putting pillows and blankets on the couch.

"Today's practice was so hard, I'm starving." She frowned sitting down and grabbing the bowl of popcorn.

"Are they still making you diet?" Bora asked putting her elephant plush on the couch.

"Yes... I've been losing weight, but my chubby cheeks just won't go away." She sighed and Bora pinched them hard.

"Stop!" Siyeon moved Bora's hand away pouting.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Bora looked through the door's peephole to confirm that it was the pizza delivery boy. She unlocked the door again and Siyeon was trying to look who was she talking to. Coming back with pizza, Bora could swear Siyeon had tears in her eyes.

"Are you serious ah... I haven't had pizza in so long..." Siyeon almost cried and Bora giggled sitting back down.

"A few pieces won't hurt you, dig in!"

They ate and talked a bit watching tv when Bora's phone buzzed again. Bora checked it and facepalmed.

[Unknown]  
 _Sorry if that was a bit too straightforward, but I'd really like to see you :)_

She totally forgot to text him back and now he was really persistent.

"What's wrong?" Siyeon asked with her mouth full of popcorn leaning in trying to read the text.

"This is your mess." Bora said handing the hungry girl her phone. Siyeon quickly read over the texts and busted out laughing making some popcorn fly out of her mouth.

"Shut up, this is all your fault!" Bora yelled hitting her with the elephant plush multiple times. Siyeon kept laughing and begging Bora to stop as the visibly annoyed girl was now wrestling with her. Bora let her go plopping back into the pillows.

"Why would you give him my number... I swear, I'll kill you right here, right now..." Bora threatened as she picked up her phone again rereading Minsoo's texts.

Siyeon sat up fixing her hair that Bora ruined in their wrestling match. "I found it cute how he got so flustered when talking about you, he's got a huge crush, so I thought why not, maybe I'll get you two together."

"Siyeon, he's younger than me..."

"By what, few months?"

"Exactly."

"And what? Please don't act like you wouldn't date a younger guy." Siyeon scoffed looking at Bora intensely.

"I can't do it. I'll just reject him." Bora started to type as Siyeon swiftly snatched her phone away.

"Nooo! Don't be stupid, he's really nice, give him a chance!"

Bora tried to get her phone back, but Siyeon hid it underneath her.

"Siyeon, please..." Bora begged looking frustrated.

"Do you want me to text him for you?" Siyeon offered.

"No! Ugh, enough of this already, give me my phone back." Bora put out her hand to Siyeon only for her to lick it making herself laugh.

"Siyeon, I'm dead serious." Bora stared at her with her lips pressed hard together out of anger.

"So am I Bora, so am I." Siyeon replied looking now more serious.

"I just can't do it!"

"Yes, you can, he's cute, what's the problem?"

"I'm not interested..."

"You might get interested, why don't you give him a chance?" Siyeon wasn't giving in.

Bora rolled her eyes. "You're aware that we have a dating ban right..."

"Yes, I'm aware. Your point?" Siyeon asked.

"Wow, you're really going to make me say it out loud?" Bora whined in frustration as she looked down at her fingers.

"Say what?" Siyeon looked at Bora's fingers as well. She didn't even notice how nervous she had been this whole time. Bora was hesitating to reply.

"What? Say what, Bora?"

"That I'm fucking gay, Siyeon!" Bora shouted and looked at her defeated.

Siyeon was now staring at her in disbelief with her mouth slightly opened. Bora leaned with her back on the couch.

"I've been meaning to tell you since forever, but I was waiting for the right time and right now definitely isn't the right time, but you just had to go give him my number didn't you..." She was playing with the blanket not sure how her friend would react.

"Bora, I..."

"It's okay, whatever, I mean what... I'll just tell him tomorrow that I'm not really interested or something." Bora shrugged knowing she would hurt him regardless of what she would tell him. He would just have to accept her rejection. She rejected guys before, but her last experience wasn't pleasant as the guy got really angry.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and Siyeon's soft voice spoke. "Bora, I'm sorry, really... I-I didn't know, if I knew I wouldn't put you through this... I thought it would be fun, but now I can see it isn't..."

Bora just nodded. She couldn't say a thing anymore. She felt ashamed and embarrassed. She didn't plan to come out to her friend like this. It was just like with her parents. Timing really makes the difference.

"Hey, look at me, please?" Siyeon moved closer and rubbed her shoulder with her thumb. Bora's eyes were holding back tears and as soon as she looked at Siyeon they started to fall down her cheeks.

Siyeon watched her tears fall picking them up one by one with her finger. "I'm sorry, please, forgive me... I won't do shit like this again... I promise on my life." Siyeon bit her lip looking at Bora.

"You better not... you asshole..." Bora's mouth cracked a tiny smile and Siyeon hugged her tightly.

"I love you buttface."

"I love you too." Bora hugged back and kissed her cheek as a sign of forgiveness.

"We'll fix this." Siyeon took Bora's small hand and squeezed it. Bora smiled nodding and whispering a 'thank you'.

\--

Darkness and silence took over as the two friends were trying to fall asleep, but the scene from an hour ago kept them both awake under their warm blankets.

"So, you're really a useless lesbian, huh?" Siyeon asked cutting the silence and getting a kick from Bora.

"Shut up, oh my god..."

\--

Eating breakfast together, everything seemed normal. Bora was thankful to Siyeon that she didn't look at her differently, just because she was gay. Thinking back a few years ago, she lost some friends when they found out. They said they didn't want anything to do with her. At the time she was upset, but now she knew it was for the better. Who needs them, when you got a friend like Siyeon?

"Are you ready to start our 'sorry, I don't suck dick' mission?" Siyeon excitedly asked.

"No, I'm not, but let's do it." Bora let out a sigh and they left her apartment.

\--

Getting to the company, they immediately went on a hunt for Minsoo. They hated the thought of breaking his heart, but there was no going back. After a while, they found him with his friends in the dance studio. Bora started walking over to them as every guy in the room checked her out. Her body was amazing and it didn't help she wore shorts so often showing off her ass.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second... outside?" She asked Minsoo as his friends teased him making him blush.

"Go, get her!"

"Minsoo, the man!"

"Spare some for me!"

"Bora, be gentle with him, he's a virgin!"

They laughed as they competed who would make the dumbest joke. Siyeon rolled her eyes hearing those remarks. _How do they want girlfriends when they share one brain cell?_

She was hiding just around the corner. She told Bora if Minsoo started acting weird that she would be right here to protect her. Bora's voice interrupted her thoughts and she listened carefully.

"...nice guy, but I'm sorry, I have to say no. I'm not looking for a relationship or dating in general..."

A pause.

"But Siyeon said you'd probably be interested in me?"

Siyeon bit her lip hearing that. _I'm so stupid. Maybe she'll actually kill me later._

"Sorry, but I'm not. I'll see you around Minsoo."

Another pause.

"Can I get a kiss?"

"No, bye."

Siyeon had to put her hand over her mouth stopping her laugh attack. She heard the door close and his monkey friends shouting at him and laughing for not getting the girl. Bora walked the corner meeting Siyeon.

"It's done. It went better than I thought." Bora let out a breath she didn't know she was holding up until now.

Siyeon smiled happy that this was resolved peacefully. "So... Now we get you a girlfriend, right?"

"Siyeon, no!" Bora let out a laugh and Siyeon's eyes sparked as she thought of something.

"Can I get a kiss?" She grinned jokingly mimicking Minsoo from earlier. The grinning stopped immediately as Bora's hand moved her chin towards her making their lips almost touch.

"I don't know, I'm just a useless lesbian..." Bora whispered while her lips formed into a smirk. Siyeon felt her breath on her lips and her cheeks burned red as she wished her stupid mouth didn't say a word.


	7. "No, and that's final."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 8, 2019   
> Warnings: smut

"No, and that's final." Siyeon pushed Gahyeon out the room.

\--

Bora walked back to her hotel room after going for a short walk around the city. They began touring around Europe so it felt nice to go out explore after she ate her dinner. She inserted her card and with a buzz the door opened. She walked in and pushed the door making it lock automatically.

"Hey Gahyeon, I'm back." She hung her jacket and took off her shoes and socks. "Can you believe these stupid, new shoes I bought almost made my feet bleed." She groaned as she stepped into the room putting her bag on the table near the tv. She ran her fingers through her hair and moved her eyes to the bed only to reveal not her roommate but Siyeon sitting on it comfortably leaning back with her hands as support. She was staring at her with an intense gaze. She crossed her legs and smirked at Bora's flustered face. Bora definitely didn't expect to get back from her walk to this.

Her eyes traveled down Siyeon's body. Wearing only a black lace bra with matching underwear, she moved her shoulder a bit making one of the bra straps slide down off her shoulder. It felt like slow motion.

Siyeon noticing, reached with her hands behind and unclipped her bra. She let it fall on the floor. Bora couldn't help but lick her lips at that sight. Siyeon's body was calling hers. It's been way too long. The lust was eating her inside as she could feel the heat slowly building up between her legs.

Their eyes met again.

"You know... the girls are right there, next door." she said. Not because she cared, but to buy herself some time.

She leaned back against the cold wall, never breaking the intense eye contact game they were now playing. Siyeon got up and seductively began walking over to Bora. She took half a second for each step moving closer and closer.

"We can keep it quiet..." She said sliding her hands under Bora's top feeling her sides get goosebumps at her touch.

"Hmm.." Bora put her finger on Siyeon's lips as she recalls their past experiences.

"I don't think so..." She whispered staring at her lips. Siyeon opened her mouth making Bora's finger slip into it. She started to suck on it slowly while staring at the girl in front of her with those deep, hungry eyes. Bora let out a faint whimper as she watched Siyeon's lips move. The tension between the two girls kept rising and the whole room felt burning hot.

Taking Bora's finger out of her mouth, she held her hand and started walking backwards towards the bed. The older girl followed Siyeon and gently pushed her making her sit down. She straddled her putting her arms around her neck. Without wasting any more precious time, they leaned in and began making out.

Back home, they couldn't do anything. There was always someone interrupting them. Tonight was perfect.

Siyeon's hands that were craving contact, traveled down Bora's sides to her ass squeezing it, pulling Bora even closer to her. Eager lips moved down kissing the other girl's chin and exploring her neck with each kiss. Siyeon breathed in the strong perfume on Bora's neck and sucked it tasting the essence in her mouth.

"What- mmh... What about G-Gahyeon..." Bora's mind was going crazy as she could barely muster out the words. Siyeon kept bruising her neck, sucking harder on new spots she explored.

"I've made the brat switch rooms." Siyeon smirked into Bora's neck nibbling on it. Bora shut her eyes and let out a moan. She moved her neck to the side wanting more and Siyeon delivered. Her neck is being marked by her girlfriend and she was loving every second of it.

She began grinding slowly, making Siyeon dig her long nails into her back as she flinched at the pain. She needs her now. She can't take it any longer.

"I want you so bad." Siyeon whispered into Bora's neck and covering her back with more red scratches. Bora pulled back a bit and took off her top in a swift movement. She threw it on the floor that will soon be covered with the rest of their clothes. Siyeon unclipped Bora's red bra watching it slide off her arms. She gazed at her exposed chest licking her lips. Her features were out of this world.

"God, you're so hot..." She leaned in again kissing down her collarbone. She moved further down taking her nipple into her mouth and started sucking on it gently making it turn hard.

Bora couldn't keep her eyes open. She bit her lip trying hard not the let out a sound. Siyeon cupped her breasts and continued sucking making Bora's chest twitch on its own. The pleasure was too big and a moan escaped Bora's lips. She started to grind again harder trying to please her cravings that were building up. Siyeon whimpered and she pressed her hands on Bora's ass moving her closer as the other kept on grinding.

"I'm so wet for you baby..." Bora moaned into Siyeon's ear and bit her earlobe.

It's all Siyeon needed to hear. She rolled them over on the big bed so she can be on top. Straddling Bora, she had her pinned down by her wrists. Bora felt weak as she moaned when Siyeon began to grind on her. They stared at each other the whole time before Siyeon leaned in kissing again passionately. Their lips were already puffy but were longing for more.

Siyeon let go as she kissed down the body underneath hers. Making her way down, she slid off Bora's shorts and underwear that were just blocking what she craved right now the most. Bora supported herself on her forearms carefully watching Siyeon's every move. She positioned her legs up a bit as she watched Siyeon tease her, placing kisses on the inside of her legs. Licking and sucking on the gentle skin.

She missed her so much.

Watching her move closer to her pulsing core with every kiss and lick, made Bora whine.

"Siyeon, please..." Siyeon smiled hearing her beg, but she continued to tease the girl. She opened her legs a bit more. She leaned in and kissed down the skin under her belly button. She didn't move as she began to open Bora up with her fingers. Seeing how wet she got, made Siyeon bite her lip. All that just for her.

She leaned in and started licking off the wetness that was begging to meet her tongue. Bora was watching the scene unfold and her hips buckled up softly from the contact of Siyeon's mouth. She pushed them more into Siyeon.

"You taste so good..." Siyeon moved her hands around the twitching legs so they couldn't move so much as she began sucking on her clit sending shivers all over Bora's body. Her forearms gave up on her and she lied down completely. She gripped hard on the bedsheets with her body still twitching at each flick of Siyeon's tongue. Siyeon placed her fingers on Bora's clit and started rubbing it. She opened her more with her other hand making her tongue work deeper into her.

"Fuck..." Feeling all the sensations, Bora shut her eyes knowing she was close. Siyeon watched her as she went faster and faster moving her fingers and tongue rapidly.

Losing all control of her hips, they moved like ocean waves when she came. She moaned loudly at the satisfaction. She didn't care if the whole floor heard her. She wanted Siyeon to make her come over and over again.

She breathed heavy and looked down at Siyeon who was now climbing up her body. Tasting herself on Siyeon's lips weirdly turned her on more. She knew she will barely get any sleep tonight and she wasn't complaining. Right now, sleep was the last thing on her do-to list.

As they were kissing, Bora's hand slid down Siyeon's body into her underwear feeling the wetness as she began to touch her. Siyeon moaned into the kiss breaking the contact. She barely controlled herself not to finish right now. She was so aroused from before; she didn't need long. She pushed her underwear down and slid them off her legs. She wouldn't need them anymore.

Bora started pushing two fingers into Siyeon. Letting out a moan, she began to push her hips on them, making them go deeper into her.

"Bora..."

The girl on the bed watched her moan as she pushed her fingers deeper feeling her completely. Siyeon was so wet and tight, Bora's mind was racing with dirty thoughts.

With her thumb, Bora started to rub Siyeon's sensitive spot. She fingered her faster and Siyeon was barely holding herself up.

"Finish for me, baby." She watched Siyeon moan helplessly as she finally came. Bora kept going which made Siyeon's orgasm last a little longer as she whispered words in pleasure.

"Clean them up." Bora demanded as she took out her fingers and Siyeon leaned closer opening her mouth. Bora pushed them into it and she began to finger her mouth as Siyeon sucked on them. Her intense gaze and confidence from earlier were completely gone. Bora loved the power they had over each other. Making each other feel weak and vulnerable. It was such a turn on.

"Good girl." Bora smiled and pulled her down to kiss her again. This time slower and gentler as Siyeon was still out of breath. Their bodies were pressed together as they slowly kissed.

The girl underneath started to grind against the leg that was pressed against her. Feeling Siyeon's wetness on her fingers made her head spin. She was ready for more.

She made them switch positions with a quick roll. She moved one of Siyeon's legs above hers. Siyeon positioned herself better so that their wet cores were touching. Bora leaned down to kiss Siyeon again before getting back up. Siyeon placed her hands on Bora's ass and she began to grind again slowly.

Letting out soft moans they watched each other move sensually with passion and again the same hunger appeared in their eyes. They couldn't get enough of it. It was an addiction. It was lust. It was love.

Bora's dancing hips were doing wonders to Siyeon's body. They moved together in perfect rhythm with sweat glistening on their bodies. Siyeon watched Bora arch her back as she closed her eyes at the pleasure. It was the hottest sight in the world for Siyeon. She held her tightly as Bora continued riding her, moving her hips in a way only she knows.

"Fuck me..." Siyeon couldn't help herself with the way she grinded on her. She slapped her ass a few times and left multiple scratches on her body. Bora didn't mind as she was begging for it with her moans. Those were music to Siyeon's ears and she was greedy for more.

Bora leaned back down to kiss her dance partner. The pace increased and they were breathing into each other's lips and watching each other moan helplessly, stealing kisses when they could.

"Faster." Siyeon said as she kissed Bora who then let fully loose moaning loudly into Siyeon's ear at every sway of her hips as she grinded faster. She closed her eyes and it didn't take her long to finish. She moaned as she kept going wanting the moment to last longer.

Finding that right spot, Siyeon gripped Bora's ass tightly as she felt herself come undone. Biting into Bora's shoulder, she let out heavy moans.

Bora ran her fingers through her hair feeling the sweat and let herself fall exhausted onto Siyeon's body. Breathing heavy, gasping for air in the room that now only smelled of sex. Both girls had their eyes shut and didn't say a word.

After a while, Bora opened hers and placed a kiss onto Siyeon's lips making her open her tired eyes as well. Siyeon smiled and her hands found Bora's bare back again. She began running her nails across it, gently, making Bora feel sleepy and close her eyes again. Siyeon was tired as well, she couldn't breathe with Bora's whole body on her. But there was no chance she would move her. Her body pressed against hers was all she ever needed.

"I love you." Bora made sure to say before falling asleep.

"I love you too." Siyeon smiled as she watched her fall asleep. She looked so innocent compared to a few minutes ago.

She reached over for her phone.

She ignored the other girl's texts begging them to keep it down.

It was pointless because she knew Bora would wake up soon and ask for another round...


	8. "Can you stay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 9, 2019   
> Warnings: none

It was a warm, summer day in Seoul. Siyeon was sitting alone on a bench, listening to music and watching the trees swing slowly as the wind tickled them.

She loved this park. She often went here for walks or to simply sit down and relax, take in everything around her. Just like now.

She leaned back resting both arms on the bench watching other people pass by. Some kids were running around. An older lady was walking her dog as he wiggled his small tail. A couple of students were having a study session. Everyone was busy with something.

She exhaled.

Today's work was pretty rough. She loved what she did, but sometimes it just gets too much.

Her phone shuffled another song. "Lullaby" by Dreamcatcher _._ She frowned immediately hearing the first few seconds. _I_ _guess_ _I_ _forgot_ _to_ _delete_ _this_ _one_... She looked down at her phone quickly skipping it. She didn't want to hear the soft voice that was opening the song. She wasn't ready. Even though it had been years. She closed her eyes at the memories.

Dreamcatcher disbanded a few years ago. After years of performing, meeting fans and being in the limelight, it was time to say goodbye. Today, they were adults with normal jobs. At least that's what she thought. Siyeon would love to know where her former members are now. Everyday life got in the way, some moved away from Seoul, phone numbers changed and that was it. Years of friendship thrown out the window just like that.

Siyeon tried to shake away her thoughts and looked into the distance. She never expected it to happen. It was like that huge part of her life never existed.

She frowned again and stopped the current song from playing. She took out her earbuds and put them in her bag ready to get back home. She had enough. She came here to relax, not start reminiscing of her past life.

She was ready to get up when she felt a pair of hands cover her eyes. Her body froze on the bench.

"Uh... I really hope it's someone I know, otherwise, I'll start to scream."

A faint giggle.

Siyeon moved her head a bit as if she was trying to hear that giggle again. She lifted her own hands and placed them on the mysterious ones that were still gently covering her eyes. She started to touch them, trying to find out who they belong to. Soft skin, small fingers, short nails, one ring. Those hands felt oddly familiar. She had some potential guesses, but she wasn't too sure.

"I give up." she groaned in defeat shaking her head. The hands moved away carefully and she turned around on the bench. Her body swiftly moved up and she was now standing. In disbelief, she stared at the owner of the voice she didn't want to hear again.

"Bora..." The name slipped off Siyeon's lips.

"Siyeon." Bora smiled as she tilted her head a bit to the side still staring into Siyeon's eyes. Her smile wasn't bright. It wasn't the smile you make when you see someone again after so long. It was a smile full of sadness and sentimentality.

Time stopped. The birds in the park weren't flying. The kids weren't running around. The wind wasn't swaying trees from side to side. It was just the two of them in their own world. Just like back then.

Siyeon watched Bora as she started to walk around the bench towards her. "Can I hug you?" Bora asked nervously as she now stood in front of Siyeon. Siyeon parted her lips meaning to answer, but all she could do is nod her head slowly.

Embracing each other's bodies into their arms, both girls shut their eyes at the familiar contact. It was like their arms never forgot where to place themselves. Bora's head was leaning into Siyeon's shoulder as she kept her eyes closed. Siyeon's perfume was tickling her nose. The same one Bora got her once for her birthday. She didn't change it since.

Bora told herself so many times that she was over her. That she didn't feel a thing anymore. That the past should be left in the past. Yet she was here being held tightly and all of her emotions and feelings came running back.

They started to let go as the hug went on for too long for a normal hug. It was an intimate type of one. The one where you can relax because you're protected in those arms holding you close.

Pulling back completely they looked at each other again.

"Um... Would you like to grab some food?" Bora asked.

"I'd love to." A shy smile appeared on Siyeon's lips.

\--

They ended up in a small restaurant. They didn't talk much on the way there. They didn't know where to start from. Both were in a state of shock and confusion. Luckily, it wasn't crowded. Only two tables were occupied. One by a couple and one by a mother and son, who was refusing to eat broccoli. The atmosphere overall was pretty calm. Soft, quiet music played. Just what they needed to settle down their nerves.

They sat down across from each other looking over the menu. The stiff atmosphere between them made Siyeon want to run away. It was too much.

"Do you remember? We used to come here often after our practices." Siyeon asked trying to ease the tension between them. She looked around the place trying to figure out what had changed since the last time.

Bora joined her and nodded. "Of course, I remember. I also remember you spilling the soup on your brand-new jeans."

Siyeon groaned. "Oh my god, I wanted to kill myself. They were expensive as well!" She pouted and Bora smiled at her, but quickly hid behind the menu she was holding.

"I think I'll just get chicken. Can't go wrong with that." She said placing the menu back on the table.

Siyeon was biting on her finger as she was reading the menu. Her eyes were focusing hard on what the restaurant offers. Bora watched her and smiled again.

"Can't decide whether it's worth it to spill the soup again?"

Siyeon shot her a death stare but immediately smiled after. Bora was always better at easing the atmosphere with her stupid jokes.

When the waiter came to them, they ordered and it got awkward again.

"So..." Siyeon leaned back in her seat and bit her lip.

"So..." Bora placed her elbows on the table leaning her head on her hands.

"Back to black hair?" Siyeon asked as her eyes scanned Bora's wavy hair. Bora took a streak of hair and played with it.

"Yeah... It's healthier and I think it suits me."

"I think every color suits you." Siyeon said and got embarrassed by her words. _Did I really say that out loud?_

Bora was taken by surprise but smiled at the compliment. "Thank you." She said looking away. Siyeon didn't know where to look so she pretended to check her phone.

Thankfully, the waiter came with their drinks and said the food will be ready in ten minutes. They drank a bit since no one was talking.

"Do you still dance?" Siyeon was the one to ask again. She had so many questions for the girl in front of her.

Bora nodded putting her glass down. "I have my own studio back in my hometown and I teach people."

Siyeon raised her eyebrows. She knew Bora wanted her own studio since forever.

"That's great! I'm really happy for you. I know how much you wanted it."

Bora smiled shyly looking down. "It isn't a big studio, but it's enough for me." She shrugged looking out the window. It was slowly turning to night-time as the street lamps were turning on.

"What about you Siyeon, are you still with the company?"

Siyeon shook her head and was playing with her fingers. "No, I left like a year ago. It didn't feel the same you know..."

Bora watched Siyeon as she brought her glass to her lips taking a sip. She remembered her saying that she wouldn't do any solo songs until Dreamcatcher wins an award. Once they finally did, the company immediately pushed her to it and the fans loved it. She gained more popularity, but she always remained humble and loyal to her group. It wasn't just business to her. So, she could understand why she left. It wasn't for her.

Bora zoned out, completely lost in her thoughts as she kept staring at Siyeon's lips making the other girl uncomfortable. To Siyeon's rescue, the waiter came with their food.

"So, you didn't tell me what you do now, you left the company, then what?" Bora asked cutting up her food.

"I got my degree, so I currently work as an assistant at the music academy." Siyeon smiled proudly of it.

"Shut up! No way! Damn..." Bora said it a bit too loudly making the couple close to them turn their heads.

"Wish I was that smart." Bora sighed sadly placing a piece of chicken in her mouth.

"What do you mean? You are smart." Siyeon reassured her and watched her cut her food. Bora looked up annoyed.

"Siyeon, please. The other day a client asked me to teach them tango and my dumb ears heard 'twerk'. Don't ask how. Can you imagine the horror on their face when I told them they should change into shorts so that we could see better how the ass shakes..."

Siyeon almost choked on her food. She imagined Bora's blank face when they told her they meant tango not twerking. She could barely calm herself down from her laughing fit. Only Bora could end up in such a situation.

She was trying to calm down and swallow the food in her mouth. Bora smiled and continued her embarrassing story. "Do I have to tell you they were a 55-year-old man?"

"Ah, Bora dammit..." Siyeon lost it and tears were now coming out of her eyes. She tried hard not to ruin her makeup and she breathed deeply.

"I'm glad you enjoy my dumb adventures." Bora scoffed jokingly. Deep inside she was loving this. It felt so natural to make Siyeon cry laugh. Her laugh was still her favorite song. She hadn't heard it in years, but it was forever imprinted in her brain.

"You're not dumb! You're just a bit clumsy..." Siyeon smiled at her and Bora raised an eyebrow.

"Soup girl, don't talk, please."

Siyeon pretended to throw chicken at her. They were adults now, but their childish side never left them.

"Do you know anything about the girls?" Bora asked and stretched her legs under the table unintentionally touching Siyeon's, who didn't react at all. The atmosphere got better; they weren't so nervous anymore.

"I know that Yoohyeon went to the USA, Gahyeon is a student and Handong went home to China. That's about it." The thought of it again saddened her. Why couldn't they just stick together? They could all be here now and have a reunion.

"Handong is a model over there. I saw one of her ads. She looked so pretty. I think Yoohyeon also studies something? Yubin released some mixtapes, but haven't heard from her since. As for Minji, she's the only one I talk to. She owns a business in her hometown. She was supposed to move here and extend her business, but some paperwork got in the way. We visit each other whenever we find the time." Bora said and sighed loudly. She was also upset about the whole situation, but no one really had the time to find each other again.

Siyeon finished her food in silence as she got jealous over Bora's and Minji's relationship. They were always really close, so it made sense they wanted to stay friends, but Bora and her were closer. Much closer. In every sense of the word. Therefore, it stung a bit harder.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Siyeon offered as they finished up. Bora agreed and got mad at Siyeon for paying for the whole meal.

Walking out the restaurant, Bora groaned. "Next time, I'm paying!"

Siyeon could swear she had butterflies in her stomach. She walked next to Bora and watched the street lights. "So, you're saying there will be a next time?" Siyeon looked at the other girl who now bit her lip realizing what she said.

"I mean... Yes... I'd like that." Bora let her eyes meet Siyeon's. Siyeon looked away smiling at the ground. She felt like she was back in high school and her crush talked to her.

They were walking in silence as the tension was building up again. They've been ignoring the topic the whole time they were together. It still felt fresh. The wounds inside their hearts were still bleeding.

As they walked, their hands brushed more than once making the girls move away. It was like their hands were begging for that contact. To feel their palms pressed together and fingers intertwined. Each time they touched, Siyeon could feel electricity run from her hand to her stomach.

"How did you find me on that bench?" Siyeon dared to ask. She put her hands inside her pockets as it got a bit chilly. Also, to stop the constant touching.

"I was planning on visiting my friend today. I walked through the park and saw this beautiful girl that kinda looked sad. I wondered what was wrong, but as I moved closer, I realized that it was you, our emo wolf."

Siyeon nudged her playfully with her shoulder as they walked. "You said 'planning to visit a friend', I'm guessing you didn't?"

Bora nodded slowly taking slow steps right next to Siyeon. "I canceled. I said something came up. It certainly did."

Siyeon blushed when their eyes met. With one look, Bora could make her feel all emotions in the world. She hated her for it. She felt so weak.

It got really late so they decided to walk Siyeon back to her apartment. Bora said she would just take a taxi back to the place she was staying.

The night sky was beautiful as the stars were dancing with each other. It got colder and Siyeon noticed Bora's small body shivering so she took off her jacket and put it around her.

"Thank you, you didn't have to." Bora smiled and she held it close breathing in that same perfume. She crossed her arms snuggling into the warm jacket.

They were walking through a narrow street all alone with no one to disturb them. Bora just went with it. She needed to know.

"Hey, Siyeon..."

"Yes?"

"Are you still upset about it?"

"About what?"

"You know what..."

Siyeon was looking into the distance again being bombarded by her past. She ran her hand through her long hair and looked up at the moon.

"I'd really like to say I'm not, but I am." She turned to Bora who was biting down her lip.

"Siyeon, I hope you know that I've never meant to hurt you." Bora watched Siyeon carefully knowing that there was no turning back from this talk. They held it in the whole day. They held it in for years.

"I never had something so special with anyone. You were my first kiss, my first love, my first everything." Siyeon let her emotions speak as her tears were ready to crush down.

Bora swallowed a lump in her throat as she looked down on the ground. They didn't talk for a moment just walked in silence.

"We could've worked it out, Bora." Siyeon's walk was slow and she was tired of this. This constant pain that never left her side since that day.

Bora had so much to say yet nothing came out.

Everything was fine until the company found out and threatened them. Then their parents found out and it got worse. Instead of sticking together, both were frustrated with the situation, arguments and fights happened way too often. One day, Bora couldn't do it anymore and broke up with Siyeon. Only causing more fights and heartaches, making the whole group suffer every day.

"I was afraid, Siyeon. I didn't know what to do. It was all too much for me."

Siyeon's emotions were getting the best of her and she tried hard not to let it all out now. It hurt too much. It hurt that she just walked away from her.

"I've never stopped loving you." Siyeon whispered through her tears.

Bora stopped walking pulling softly Siyeon's arm making her stop.

"But it's a bit too late for that, don't you think?" Siyeon sniffed still crying quietly. She pointed with her head on Bora's hand that was holding her arm. A wedding ring was shining in the night like the stars above them.

Bora traced Siyeon's eyes and let her hand fall. Siyeon began walking again slowly.

"I wanted to say your name when you covered my eyes... I thought it's too good to be true. I wasn't completely sure. The ring threw me off. Everything else about your hands stayed the same just how I remember."

Bora was standing still for a second closing her eyes letting tears fall down her cheeks. She wiped them away and caught up with her ex-lover.

Siyeon pointed at the five-story complex. It didn't look too luxurious, but it still looked nice. "This is me."

Bora looked over at the building and nodded looking down at her feet then back to Siyeon. Siyeon wasn't ready to say bye. Not like this. In a city with millions of people, they found each other again. It had to mean something. It had to be a sign.

"Can you stay?" Siyeon barely asked as she tried hard not to let new tears fall.

"I can't." Bora answered. She was looking at the crying girl and looked away as it was causing her too much pain. All those faded memories were like a tsunami crashing in her head.

"Bora, please..." Siyeon was shaking when she reached over to touch Bora's hand. "I miss you so much." She bit her lip and cried looking down at their hands. They still fit perfectly together as if nothing changed.

"Siyeon, I... I have to go, I'm sorry." Bora let go of Siyeon's hand and started walking away. Her jaw trembled and she pressed her lips together trying not to cry.

A sudden back hug made her exhale a faint breath. Siyeon's arms were holding Bora in place. She shut her eyes again letting tears fall on the ground.

"Don't do it again. Please. Don't walk away from me. I couldn't handle it. Not again. I won't know what to do with myself. I can't go on through life asking myself 'what if'. I can't take this anymore. I love you, Bora. Please stay." Siyeon's forehead was leaning on the back of Bora's head as she cried and begged her to change her mind. "I'm sorry, but I don't care about your marriage. I don't care if you cheat on them. Please, Bora, I need you in my life. I love you so much. I know you want this too. We're older now, we can be free. No one to break us up. Just me and you. Forever. We're meant for each other. Please, don't leave again. I'm begging you, Bora, please, don't do this to me. Don't break my heart again." Siyeon was stumbling over her words as she was now helplessly sobbing still hugging Bora from behind.

She felt Bora's soft hands on hers. Bora cried as she pulled herself out of Siyeon's grip. Siyeon was watching her shaking her head. "Please, Bora... Please... Don't do this. Don't leave me again." She begged and took a step forward trying to reach for Bora's hand again.

Bora turned around with eyes red from crying and she bit the inside of her cheek.

"I love you so much... I'm sorry, I can't." she barely whispered it through her tears and started walking away.

Siyeon wanted to scream. She wanted to run after her, try again and again until she would make her stay. Everything inside of her was telling her to go and chase her, but her body couldn't move. Her legs felt weak and she dropped down on her knees on the cold ground. She watched Bora get quickly into a taxi and disappear into the night. She let her go, again.

She raised her head to look at the stars. 

_Maybe in another life, in another universe, you have stayed with me._

\--

Coming back to her hometown, Bora met up with her friend at a park. "Thank you for looking after her. Jungnam and I were both so busy. Did she behave?"

Bora's friend nodded and smiled.

"Mommy, mommy!"

A little girl ran over to Bora greeting her with a hug. Bora kissed her daughter's head and fixed her hair that was all over the place.

"Mommy is that a new jacket?" The little girl touched the black jacket Bora was wearing. Bora's hand pulled the warm jacket up to her lips. She closed her eyes when the perfume hit her nose.

"No honey, it's an old one." 


	9. "There's a certain taste to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 10, 2019   
> Warnings: none

The Dreamcatcher girl group was on a well-deserved break. All the girls but Bora and Siyeon went to visit their families. The couple decided to spend this break together. They went on dates, visited some cities, just had fun without constantly worrying about work.

Today was a lazy kind of day with rain pouring down. Siyeon was comfortably snuggled up in her messy bed playing a video game on her brand-new Nintendo switch that her most loyal fan site got her for her birthday. Even though she had the money to buy one herself, it was always nice to receive gifts, especially when it was from people who really care about you and look up to you.

Siyeon just wanted to relax and recharge her batteries. She also needed to make sure she could beat this level so that she could be ahead of Yoohyeon, her gaming partner in crime.

"Go, go, go!" She yelled at the screen as she was hitting the buttons of the console hard with her thumbs.

"What the fuck, how did I lose?! I pressed X!" She groaned and punched the wall gently because the last time she hurt her hand and Bora yelled at her. She sat up a bit to focus better on the game.

"I'll beat you Yoohyeon, just you wait..." She was too immersed into beating the level she was on; she didn't hear Bora walk into her room.

"Jesus, babe, you've scared me!" Siyeon said getting startled when Bora got into her bed on top of her.

"Are you still playing that dumb game?" Bora smiled and leaned in wanting to kiss her girlfriend only making her groan and move her head and hands to continue playing.

"Dammit, Bora! He almost killed me." Siyeon said while her eyes were still fixated on the screen. Bora tried once more and Siyeon again moved her arms and head.

"Are you seriously choosing that game over kissing me?" Bora frowned and leaned up still looking at Siyeon. The gamer kept on pressing the buttons not really listening.

"Uh-huh..."

Bora stared at her for a few more seconds and seeing that she was not wanted, she got off her and walked out of the room without saying a word more. Siyeon's tongue was peeking out between her lips focusing hard beating the level. She didn't fully grasp the whole situation with her girlfriend.

Bora walked to the kitchen and looked over at the clock. It was close to dinner time. If she doesn't cook something, Siyeon would probably suggest cereal and that wasn't an option. Shaking her head at the thought of eating cereal for dinner, she started making an actual dinner.

She didn't realize how hurt and annoyed she was until she started cutting carrots. She swiftly chopped them with a loud sound each time the blade hit the wooden cutting board. 

_How's a game more important than me..._

Bora loved attention and the worst thing you can do to her is not give her any. Especially if you were her girlfriend. She knew she was clingy, but she was only doing it out of love. So, she expected the same, if not more for her and when she didn't get that, it hurt her ego.

Making the soup, she was lost in her thoughts until a happy Siyeon ran into the kitchen waving her Nintendo switch.

"I did it, Bora! I beat the level! Finally!" She put her arms up as a sign of victory and smiled at her girlfriend who just ignored her as she turned her back on her to put some more food into the pot on the stove.

"Did you hear what I said! I beat the level!" Siyeon happily repeated herself.

"I wish you could be that enthusiastic about me." Bora said giving her a quick dirty look before returning to her work. Siyeon's smile dropped as she noticed that her girlfriend is upset. At last.

"Wait... Oh, Bora come on! Is this about the kiss?" Siyeon asked putting the console away and walked over to Bora. She ignored her again and turned around to cut some more food. Siyeon hugged her from behind wrapping her arms gently around Bora's waist and kissed her cheek. She leaned her head on her shoulder and looked at all the food that was being cooked.

"It smells so delicious. Can't wait to eat it." She said softly making Bora scoff.

"You really think you'll make it all better with a simple compliment?"

_Damn._ Siyeon frowned. Her girlfriend was really high maintenance. For Bora, you were either her biggest fan or a nobody. There was no in-between. Siyeon thought that's a bit extreme, but Bora was the type of girlfriend to only shower you with love and affection. Such a person deserved the world.

"Okay... Tell me how I can make you happy again." Siyeon bit her lip and with a guilty face looked at her from the side still holding her.

"Bake me a cake."

Siyeon's grip on Bora loosened at hearing her punishment. Bora turned around and looked up at Siyeon with a smirk. She leaned back on the counter and crossed her arms.

"You've heard me. I want a cake. I want you to write on it 'I love Bora more than my Nintendo swatch'."

"Switch, it's Nintendo switch." Siyeon rolled her eyes and sighed in defeat.

"Whatever it's called. Don't start again. I'm still upset. I want it before midnight. We can eat it as dessert." She smiled proudly of her idea and walked away.

"Baby, I don't know how to make a cake..." Siyeon whined and tucked her hair behind her ear as she started opening drawers not knowing what she's looking for.

"Don't baby me. You better get started soon. Look." Bora pointed with her finger at the clock that wasn't on Siyeon's side at all. Siyeon groaned and took off her hoodie so it wouldn't get dirty. She threw it on the chair and sighed again.

"I don't even know where to start. You know I can't cook or bake for shit. We'd starve without you." She looked at Bora with puppy eyes and a pouting mouth.

"Ugh, fine. I'll tell you what to do, you just follow, okay?"

Siyeon exhaled in relief putting her hand over her chest. "Fair enough. Okay! What do I do first?"

\--

Bora was finished with preparing the dinner and was now sitting on a chair and was watching Siyeon make her cake. Well, trying to make it.

"I think I miscounted; I can't remember how much I put..." Siyeon was holding a spoonful of sugar looked at Bora with wide eyes in horror. Bora laughed a bit and put her hand on Siyeon's to move away the spoon.

"Think it's enough."

Siyeon was like a lost puppy in the kitchen. She didn't know where anything was. She kept opening drawers randomly until Bora guided her to the right one.

The mix was ready and Siyeon poured it carefully into the prepared pan. She put in the already preheated oven and sat on a chair sighing.

"I'm not sure about it Bora, I think I fucked up somewhere."

"It will be fine..." Bora said as she pulled out the whipped cream from the fridge and smirked at Siyeon who was pouting still watching the cake in the oven. Bora quickly put some of the cream in her hand and smeared it on Siyeon's face. Siyeon gasped and wiped the cream off her face.

"What was that for!" She looked at Bora who was grinning like the Grinch.

"Fuck your stupid game." She laughed and screamed when Siyeon got up to chase after her. They ran around the table like kids and tried to make each other slow down by pulling out the chairs. Siyeon grabbed Bora by her top and pulled her to her.

"Gotcha!"

Bora was laughing hysterically when Siyeon picked her up off the floor and walked over to the living room.

"Let me go!" Bora tried to get out of Siyeon's grip making Siyeon stumble and they landed on the couch with Siyeon on top. Both laughing at their clumsiness, Siyeon leaned in and with her face smeared the rest of the cream on Bora's face.

"Noooo!" Bora tried to push Siyeon away, but Siyeon grabbed her wrists and pinned her down. She raised her eyebrows at the now defeated Bora.

"Kiss me, stupid."

Siyeon obeyed her queen's wishes and leaned in closing the gap between their lips. The kiss tasted like the whipped cream and suddenly they were hungry. One kiss turned into two kisses, two turned into more kisses and more turned into a make-out session.

Siyeon loosened her grip on Bora's wrists and slid her hands up to intertwine their fingers. She started to clean off Bora's face with each of her kisses, licking off the tasty cream.

"Maybe we could use the whipped cream again for something else..." Siyeon said in between kisses as Bora smiled enjoying the attention she finally got. Siyeon pulled away and began slowly kissing down her neck. The touch of her lips as she sucked on the skin made Bora close her eyes. Siyeon let go of holding one of Bora's hand and slid it down her body.

"You know... when I came to your room... I wanted to do something... something with you... if you know what I mean... but sadly you were just too busy with your little game..." Bora said it in a teasing way and Siyeon lifted her head gradually and looked at her with a blank expression. Bora met her eyes and shrugged.

"I'm such an idiot..." She leaned in kissing Bora and her hand started to pull up her top. Bora smiled against Siyeon's lips and put her hand around the back of her neck. Siyeon's naughty hand was sliding down Bora's body and tugged on the edge of her jeans. She unbuttoned them and wanted to move her hand down her underwear when Bora suddenly pushed her away stopping them from kissing. Siyeon furrowed her eyebrows as she saw her girlfriend's shocked expression.

"The cake!"

"Oh shittt!" Siyeon got off Bora quickly stumbling on her feet again running to the kitchen as if her life depended on it. Bora was running behind her praying they wouldn't burn down the whole dorm.

"It's fine! Just in time!" Siyeon shouted and Bora breathed out in relief. She put on kitchen mittens to take their cake out of the oven. Siyeon looked at the cake and pulled a face.

"It's kind of weird looking..."

Bora tilted her head to the side like she wanted to examine it more. "A bit yeah... oh well, as long as it's tasty."

Siyeon bit her lip because she wasn't really confident about that.

"Let it cool off first, then you'll decorate it." Bora said as she walked over to set up the table.

"Oh right, we still have to eat." Siyeon smiled as she completely forgot about dinner.

"Yes. Things got heated... and I'm not talking about the food." Bora said it while buttoning her jeans making Siyeon laugh and cover her face.

\--

"Okay, it's done!" Siyeon said as she finished decorating the cake. Bora walked over and pointed at the messy handwriting.

"Shut up, there was literally no space left." Siyeon groaned and put down the decorating tools. Taking a few pictures and selfies with the cake, they were ready to try it.

"Baby, I'm not sure about it... It tastes kinda weird." Siyeon said as she made a face when she swallowed the cake. Bora hummed and ate a bit more.

"There's a certain taste to it." She nodded when she pulled the fork out of her mouth.

"And that would be?" Siyeon looked over at Bora curiously.

"The taste of apology." She grinned making Siyeon roll her eyes. With her finger, the now happy girlfriend smeared some of the cake on Siyeon's face starting a food fight.

Again.


	10. "Listen, I can't explain it, you'll have to trust me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 12, 2019   
> Warnings: small mature scene

Siyeon was done for today and just wanted to go back to her apartment and sleep. Wearing a loose shirt with some comfortable sweatpants, she sluggishly walked through the company's hallways.

With a towel still hanging around her neck from showering, she dried her hair while walking. It was the end of September and it was still unexpectedly warm, so she wasn't afraid of catching a cold once she steps outside.

She said bye to a few of the trainees she met along the way. It was quite late and she was among the last ones in the building. She wanted to leave a good impression since she joined a few months ago and was still considered as a new trainee. She promised herself to work hard each day and it would eventually pay off.

She saw a girl running towards her as if someone was chasing her. Siyeon furrowed her eyebrows but immediately recognized the black cropped top and black shorts, a combination the most popular trainee Kim Bora often wore.

"Listen, I can't explain it, you'll have to trust me."

Bora breathed out and grabbed Siyeon's hand and quickly pulled her over to a small hallway that was leading to the toilets.

She pushed Siyeon gently against the wall and cupped her face as she leaned in pressing her lips against hers. Siyeon had no time to react. No time to process what was happening. Her eyes shot wide open. Her mind was blank. She couldn't think straight. She never kissed a girl. She never kissed anyone. And now, this older girl who she idolized since the first time she saw her, suddenly had her body pressed against hers and was kissing her.

She finally closed her eyes and let her hands nervously guide themselves to the older girl's exposed waist. Bora was kissing her softly and Siyeon could feel it on her lips that she knew what she was doing. Unlike her, who was completely inexperienced.

For Siyeon, it felt like they were kissing for hours when it had only been a couple of seconds. A sad voice from a girl at the end of the hall reached her ears.

"Oh... so that's your girlfriend..."

Hearing her walk off, Bora pulled away slowly making sure she really left. She breathed out in relief and dropped her hands to Siyeon's shoulders.

"Thank you, I owe you one." She smiled at Siyeon and quickly kissed her cheek before walking off. Siyeon was still leaning against the wall and she placed her hand on the kissed cheek.

_What just happened?_

\--

As hard as she was trying, Siyeon just couldn't sleep that night. Her mind was repeating the same scene over and over again. It couldn't get enough of it. Bora's kiss was stuck on a loop.

Siyeon nibbled on her lip. The way Bora's hands held her cheeks, the way the skin on her waist felt against Siyeon's fingers, the way her lips moved kinda made her want more.

She rolled over on her back and stared at the complete darkness in her room.

_Why do I feel this way?_   
_It was just kiss._   
_She doesn't even know who I am._   
_It didn't mean anything._   
_Do I like girls?_   
_Do I just like her?_

All these thoughts were crashing into each other making her head spin when a sudden one silenced others making Siyeon gasp.

_That girl thinks we're actually together..._

She pulled her blanket over her head to hide under it from embarrassment.

\--

Challenging a new day, Siyeon was relieved not to see Bora or that girl. Either those two weren't present today or they somehow managed to avoid each other. Siyeon felt so embarrassed and confused, she didn't know what to do if she saw one of them.

_It would be so awkward._   
_Damn you, Kim Bora._   
_Out of everyone, you decide to kiss me._   
_It would've have been better if the earth had swallowed me right then._

"Earth to Siyeon!" The choreographer yelled. Siyeon got startled and looked at the other trainees who giggled at her.

"I-I apologize sir." She bowed out of respect and looked at the ground. Another thing to be embarrassed about.

"Please focus or I'll kick you out... Okay everyone, let's go again."

\--

Siyeon went to the locker rooms with the other girls after their intense dance practice and they started taking off their sweaty clothes.

She had to quickly learn that everyone showers together. Completely naked, of course. If you wore a bikini, you would be the weirdo, not those who are naked.

It was hard at first, she was new and was self-conscious, but she realized that no one cared and everyone just wanted to get over with it and go home.

Putting her hair up in a bun, she closed her eyes when the warm water hit her. It was not only relaxing her body but her mind too. It had been all over the place just because of one kiss. Just because of one girl.

She was shampooing her body when she heard some girls talking in the other locker room that was connected with the one she was in via the showers. She was finishing up when she heard someone speak behind her.

"Thanks again for yesterday."

Siyeon turned off the shower and wiped the water out of her eyes. She turned around and a scream almost escaped her lungs. None other than a naked Kim Bora was standing in front of her.

Her eyes failed her as she looked down at her busty chest. She turned around again quickly realizing what she had done.

"It's fine." She muttered.

She tried to play it cool but wanted to shower again as her body was burning up from yet another embarrassment. She took her towel and started to dry herself off. Bora didn't say anything else and stood under one of the free showerheads close to Siyeon's.

Siyeon's eyes moved to the side and peaked at Bora's body again. She stared at every single detail she could find, at every imperfection, every curve on her body. She was short, but girls here would kill to have a body like that. It was probably great genetics, but also a lot of dancing.

Bora lifted her head so the water was hitting her face as she arched her now soaked back. Her breasts were the biggest Siyeon had ever seen with her two eyes. The way the water was racing down and was shaping the outline of her body was making Siyeon dizzy with thoughts that should never be said out loud. 

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

Hearing Bora say that, Siyeon almost slipped on the wet floor when she ran out. She heard all the girls laugh and cursed under her breath. She dressed herself as fast as she could and ran out of the locker rooms.

\--

She was walking to her usual bus stop. She walked slowly with her head hanging low. She tried to shake off the shower scene out of her head, but with no luck.

_Great._   
_We've kissed and now I know what she looks like naked._   
_That would've been great if she didn't catch me drooling all over her._   
_But, God damn, what a body..._   
_No, fuck Siyeon... you're straight._   
_You're straight._

She sighed loudly not sure she believed herself when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to meet the person.

"Hey, shower buddy, do you want to eat something? My treat."

\--

"You're probably pretty confused about the whole kiss thing, am I right?" Bora asked when they sat down at the nearest McDonald's. They were both hungry and stuffing yourself with junk food until you couldn't breathe was a great idea, especially after a hard day of practice.

Siyeon put her tray down and sat across from her. She smiled shyly. She couldn't look in her eyes. If she looked, she would just see her naked body again and blush. Bora started to eat her burger and groaned loudly.

"And I told them specifically not to put cheese."

Siyeon looked at the piece of cheese she let fall on her tray. "Are you lactose intolerant?" Siyeon asked and dared to finally look at the girl.

"No, I just hate fucking cheese." Bora chuckled making Siyeon smile and forget for a second why they're actually here.

She ate her fries and waited for Bora to start talking. She couldn't take the initiative. She was still too embarrassed and too intimidated by the older girl. She heard a lot about her from other trainees. She was a trainee for 3 years already and was really popular because of her dancing skills. A lot of guys had crushes on her, but she didn't give them much attention and only hung out with few girls. 

"Anyway, the kiss." Bora started and looked at Siyeon who was all ears in her seat. She held her burger and ate it quietly waiting for the explanation.

"I'm really sorry if I had shocked you or something, but I literally had no time to explain and you happened to be there and I just went with it." Bora took some fries and ate them.

"Basically, that girl wanted us to date, but I didn't. I'm not into her. She was really persistent. I told her I had a girlfriend to make her stop. She didn't believe me." Bora sighed dramatically and shook her head.

"That day, I was ready to leave and she saw me and was super annoying. She kept following me everywhere! I literally ran from her and thankfully you were there. The rest you know what happened..."

Siyeon was listening carefully and ate her food slowly. Bora could tell she was thinking hard about something.

"Yes... I like girls." Bora said the last part a bit quieter.

Siyeon looked at her and nodded as she bit into her fry. "I mean, I kinda guessed it already..."

Bora smiled a bit and scanned Siyeon's face to see her reaction to the whole thing. She prayed she wasn't homophobic like so many people in the country. 

"I'm sorry that I stared at you in the showers. I kinda... just zoned out. Siyeon said hiding her face behind her burger. Bora giggled and winked.

"It's okay, I know I'm irresistible. Are you gay as well?" Bora asked bluntly and Siyeon coughed a bit at the sudden question.

"Ah, no, I'm straight."

"Oh..."

Bora leaned back and sounded slightly disappointed but just nodded and looked away. She was sure the younger girl was anything but straight. Especially with the way she checked out her body. It was like she wanted her, right there. 

"Guess my gay radar needs an oil change." Bora smiled and Siyeon tried hard to ignore her comment and kept herself busy with sipping her coke.

"Do like... other people know? It's not like being gay in Korea is something normal..." Siyeon muttered and looked over at Bora. She asked because she was curious about Bora's life, but also because she herself had been all over the place with her sexuality. It felt nice to talk to someone who knew what they were. 

"A few of my friends know, that girl and well... you..." Bora said as she dipped her fries in ketchup.

"Weren't you afraid that I won't play along or that I'll... I don't know, threaten you later?" Siyeon bit her lip at the thought.

_If I wanted, I could expose her at the company and she would be kicked out most definitely._   
_Her three years of training for nothing._   
_She really took a risk._

"I didn't have time to think about what you'll do. I guess I was lucky you didn't push me away when I kissed you. I'm just really thankful it was you... I can tell that I can trust you with my biggest secret. So really, thank you from the bottom of my heart, Siyeon." Bora smiled at Siyeon warmly. Siyeon smiled back and looked away.

_If I look once more into your eyes, I might fall in love._

"Hey wait... how do you know my name?" Siyeon looked over confused.

"I know a lot of things, Lee Siyeon." Bora smirked and winked again, making the other girl gulp as she felt like prey waiting for the bigger animal to take her down.

\--

Bora offered to walk Siyeon to her bus stop. Siyeon thought it was a sweet gesture since it was dark outside and she always hated to walk alone. You never know what could happen.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?" Siyeon asked as they waited at the bus stop.

"We don't really run into each other, I'm sure you've noticed."

Siyeon could feel her cheeks getting red as she remembered all the times she hoped to see her and when she finally did, it was like an actual idol was passing by. It made her day better and practices weren't so hard anymore.

"Ah, yes, I guess different schedules..." Siyeon nodded and couldn't hide her sad expression as she stared at her feet.

"Hey, how about I give you my number so we can text and meet up when we're free." Bora said and Siyeon looked up way too happily than she wanted. She gave Bora her phone and she quickly typed her number. Siyeon looked at the people moving around as the bus arrived.

"Ah, your bus is here, text me okay?" She raised her eyebrows and handed Siyeon her phone back. She promised and they quickly said bye and Siyeon ran into the bus barely making it. She sat down and waved to Bora who was still there. She waved back and pulled a face making Siyeon laugh loudly. An old lady gave her a dirty look. She covered her face and waved again at Bora as the bus left.

She was smiling the whole ride back to her apartment. She was glad everything was good between them and thanks to Bora, the whole thing wasn't as awkward as she imagined it would be. At first, she seemed so intimidating, but she was so outgoing and fun. It was really easy to talk to her.

Siyeon was in such a happy mood dancing in her apartment when she realized she didn't texted Bora. She took her phone and went through her contacts. She laughed when she saw how Bora saved her contact name.

_The Irresistible Bora._   
_Fair enough._

She giggled as she texted her.

\--

Bora's phone buzzed and she smiled immediately.

_Finally._   
_I was getting worried._

[Unknown]  
 _Hello, this is your partner in crime! Thanks for the meal and for walking me to the bus stop :)_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _No, thank you for saving me. I hope you like how I've saved my contact name. It suits me right?_  
 _Btw you're Lee Zoned Out Siyeon ;)_

Siyeon was now tucked in her bed and bit her lip as she smiled at the text.

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _I did zone out, but think what you want._

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Sure thing buddy._  
 _Might have to change it to Lee I'm Straight Siyeon ;)_

Siyeon's jaw dropped and she wanted to throw her phone away.

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _Goodnight..._

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _No oil change required._

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _I SAID GOODNIGHT!_

Siyeon screamed in her pillow. Her lips couldn't put down the huge smile that was there since the bus ride. She always wanted to be friends with Bora, but it seemed unrealistic. Now, that same Bora is teasing her about her sexuality.

_I'm straight._   
_I'm definitely straight._

She sighed and turned off her night lamp hoping for some sleep this night.

\--

Waking up before her alarm, she quickly grabbed her phone. She caught herself get disappointed at not seeing any new texts from Bora. She bit her lip and decided to text first.

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _Good morning :)_

She hit send and bit her lip. She wasn't sure how Bora will react. They just became friends. She didn't want to be too clingy like that other girl, but she just couldn't wait, she wanted to talk to her. All-day if possible.

_Maybe I shouldn't have texted that... She'll probably think I'm obsess-_

Her phone buzzed cutting her thoughts off.

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Good morning sunshine <3_

Siyeon's heart did a backflip and she screamed in her head.

_Sunshine? Heart? I might die right now._   
_Okay focus, Siyeon focus._

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _When are you free today? I have a break from 11 am until 1 pm._

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Ahh, I can't then :( I have my dance practice. You could come watch? Or dance with us?_  
 _The choreographer won't mind :)_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _I'm pretty sure he hates me :(_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Why's that??_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _Doesn't matter._  
 _I'll try to catch you when you're done?_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _1 pm? Okay, see you!_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _:)_

_I'm so whipped._

\--

Siyeon was outside the dance studio walking around left-right. She made sure she looked her best and kept on fixing her hair.

_Why am I so nervous, oh my god, please calm down..._

She decided to sit down against the wall and wait. She went through their texts again and smiled like a little girl. Hearing the door open, trainees started to walk out.

She got up and picked her backpack off the floor. She prepared Bora a sandwich and couldn't wait to give it to her. At last, she came out talking with some girls and she grinned seeing Siyeon there waiting for her.

"I'll see you guys in the showers!"

She walked over to Siyeon who held up the sandwich.

"For you. No cheese." Siyeon smiled and handed Bora the sandwich.

"Siyeon! Thank you, I'm actually starving."

She didn't waste any time. She unwrapped it and immediately took a bite. She lifted her eyebrows at the taste and let out a satisfied hum.

Siyeon shrugged proudly.

"I can't cook, but I know how to make a bomb sandwich."

Bora laughed with her mouth full letting some bread crumbs fall. Siyeon loved how quickly their relationship developed. How comfortable with each other they got. She wasn't so shy anymore and Bora was free to be her dork self that she hid so well in front of others.

"I'm sorry Siyeon, but I really have to go now. I need to shower like asap."

Siyeon just nodded and was sad to see her go, but at least she got to see her again.

"For real, thank you so much for the sandwich, you have no idea." Bora kissed Siyeon's cheek making her knees weak again.

"Text me when you get home!" Siyeon said when Bora started walking away and she turned around putting up a thumbs up.

Siyeon watched her ass bounce as she ran to catch up with her friends.

_I'm so fucking gay._

She admitted it and lowered her head in defeat.

\--

The rest of Siyeon's day passed by slowly and she couldn't wait to get home to text Bora. She kept checking her phone, but nothing. They were both busy and there was no point in texting now only to get a reply an hour later.

Now, sitting on her couch in the living room she stared at her phone. She wanted to text her so badly. Anything. But she didn't want to push Bora away. So she tortured herself and waited. She kept switching to random TV channels, but nothing fun was on. Talking to Bora was more fun. She watched some boring show when her phone buzzed making her jump.

The notification sound of her phone quickly became her favorite song. Her bright smile dropped when she looked at the text.

[Mom <3]  
 _Hey honey, how are you? How's everything up there? You barely text us or call us anymore._

[Siyeon]  
 _Hey mom! I'm sorry, I'm so busy._  
 _It's okay, I'm working hard._  
 _Say hi to everyone from me._

[Mom <3]  
 _That's good to hear. Have you found a boyfriend?_

[Siyeon]  
 _No, mom... I'm just busy practicing._

[Mom <3]  
 _That's good to hear. We all love you a lot. Take care of yourself and eat!_

[Siyeon]  
 _I will! Love you!_

She sighed. She loved her family, but that wasn't the text she waited all day for. She had to wait another hour more before her phone buzzed again.

_Ah, please..._

_Yes!_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Heyy :) arrived home safely?_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _Yes yes :)_  
 _How was the sandwich?_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Amazing! <3_  
 _You should bring me one every day._

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _You wish..._  
 _What do I get in return??_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Hmm._  
 _You get to be a creep and stare at my naked body in the showers?_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _Please._  
 _I do that anyway ;)_

_Why, why, why did I send that._

Siyeon slouched further down the couch as she was impatiently waiting for Bora's text. They were both fast texters and now Bora was taking forever to reply. Siyeon bit her lip thinking she really creeped her out.

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Best one I took ;) put it as my contact pic._

Siyeon opened her attached selfie and stared at her face.

_Why are you making this so hard for me?_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _You're so pretty, us uglies can't relate :(_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Shut up._  
 _Send me one back please :)_

Siyeon nervously scrolled down her gallery twice in order to find a decent one, but she suddenly looked ugly in each of them. She groaned in frustration. She took some more right now on the couch and picked the best one. She quickly sent it before she could change her mind.

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _I tried..._

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Ah my poor heart._  
 _You so cute <3_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _Staaaph..._

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _You are :)_  
 _Hey this is kinda weird, but how old are you?_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _17, why?_

Bora groaned.

_I knew she wasn't legal._   
_I've kissed a minor, great._

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _A literal baby._  
 _I'm 19..._

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _My birthday is next week though :)_

_Oh, thank fuck._

Bora put her hand on her chest and smiled.

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Oh nice!_

_'Oh nice!'... I really replied like that..._

She laughed at herself and shook her head.

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _I expect a gift :)_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _Hmm. Can I take you to the movies?_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _That sounds like a date, not a gift?_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _And why can't it be both?_

Siyeon stared at Bora's reply.

_A date? An actual, proper date?_   
_She wants to go out with me?_   
_Am I in some sort of simulation?_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _Okay then, deal :)_

[The Irresistible Bora]  
 _I'm looking forward to it ;)_  
 _Goodnight <3_

[Lee Zoned Out Siyeon]  
 _Night Bora :) <3_

Siyeon stared at their exchange again. She felt like everything was moving way too fast. They have kissed, they have seen each other naked and now they were going on a date next week. People usually don't follow this order, but she wasn't complaining. She didn't want to admit to herself that Kim Bora stole her heart from the moment she first saw her.

She explained it to herself like it was just an innocent girl crush, but it was way more. Especially since they got so close these last three days. She felt like she was on the best, fastest roller coaster of her life. She couldn't wait to see her, to text her, to laugh at her jokes. She was crushing hard.

\--

The next few days passed without much happening. Siyeon and Bora couldn't really see each other at all, which made them both upset. Only one, tiny interaction in the company and that was it. They kept on texting until one fell asleep and Siyeon was nervously looking forward to their date.

She spent the whole day replying to text messages from various people wishing her a happy birthday. She was happy that so many remembered. Even though it was her day to celebrate, she could only think of Bora as she walked towards the mall.

Bora's hair was wavy and was touching her exposed shoulders and collarbones as she wore a black shoulder cut out top with denim skinny jeans. Siyeon went for a rocker look with a black leather jacket with a white top underneath. Her black, ripped, skinny jeans and black boots were making their way over to Bora.

"Is it a date or a concert?" Bora raised an eyebrow checking out Siyeon's outfit.

"And why can't it be both?" Siyeon mocked Bora's voice and got hit in the shoulder in return.

"Happy birthday Siyeon."

They hugged tightly and Bora kissed her cheek.

"You always kiss my left cheek." Siyeon said pouting and pointed on her right one.

"Only since it's your birthday..." Bora smiled and leaned in to kiss that one as well.

"Much better."

\--

"We only have a few seats scattered around, but we have one love seat left... if that isn't a problem." The cashier looked at both girls waiting for their answer. Siyeon decided to be brave and winked at Bora.

"It's actually better. We'll take it."

Bora looked down smiling and Siyeon realized it was the first time she made her blush. It was always Bora who made Siyeon get flustered. The cashier watched them and smiled a bit. They got their tickets, two cokes and decided on big popcorn so they could share.

They found their seats and sat down. Bora crossed her legs and started to eat some popcorn.

"So, you're that type of person?" Siyeon raised her eyebrows. Bora looked over confused.

"To eat half the popcorn before the movie starts."

"Oh, shut up." Bora threw some at Siyeon's face making her laugh. Siyeon took off her jacket and ate some too as they waited for the movie to start.

\--

Bora chose a thriller knowing well if there are some scary parts, she can snuggle up to Siyeon and this spacious love seat only made it better. Throughout the movie, she slowly made her way closer to the other girl.

"I can see right through you." Siyeon whispered smiling and she put her arm around Bora.

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

Siyeon's fingers were gently tracing Bora's exposed shoulder. "You look really beautiful tonight." Siyeon bit her lip at her own words and Bora smiled and snuggled closer.

In the movie, a heated kissing session was slowly turning into a sex scene. Siyeon's body was stiff. She had been flirty and acted bravely, but suddenly her whole act dropped and it felt like she was back to her old self. She moved her eyes to Bora who seemed unfazed by the sex scenes. Siyeon's mind was telling her that Bora probably wasn't a virgin. Watching these scenes, she started imagining Bora in bed. Bora unconsciously moved her hand on Siyeon's thigh making Siyeon die inside completely.

She didn't move for the rest of the movie.

\--

They walked a bit around the mall and Bora saw the girl from their company that wanted to date her.

"Siyeon put your arm around me." She said it through her teeth and looked at the shops they were passing by. Siyeon did so but looked at Bora feeling the weird vibe that was suddenly around them.

"Look who is over there to the left. Don't be too obvious when you look."

Bora checked her phone acting as if she didn't see the girl. Siyeon casually looked over and met the girl's eyes that were filled with jealousy. She moved Bora closer to her and kissed the side of her head. Bora smiled and they passed the girl without a chick fight happening.

"Smooth." Bora smirked looking at Siyeon who just shrugged.

"She was looking at me like she wanted to kill me. I had to give her more to work with."

Bora laughed and nudged her as they walked out of the mall.

\--

They were walking through a park and Siyeon's mind was like a whirlwind. She never felt so many emotions in such a short period. She finally got those butterflies everyone was always talking about. Bora made her feel a type of way she never knew she could feel. With all the playful flirting and touching, faking their relationship for that girl, Siyeon's feelings for Bora weren't fake. She couldn't lie to herself anymore. She wasn't straight like she always thought she was. She didn't know what she was, but it didn't matter.

"Why are you being so quiet?" Bora stopped walking.

"Sorry, I'm just... My thoughts are all over the place." Siyeon admitted and stopped walking as well. It wouldn't be fair to Bora not to trust her. Bora trusted her with her biggest secret about being gay. She deserved to know Siyeon's feelings.

Siyeon closed her eyes.

_Here goes nothing._

"I think your gay radar is working perfectly. I... I like you, Bora. I like you a lot. This whole thing... between us... it's so weird. We've kissed, I've seen your naked body, which is by the way very beautiful. I know it's crazy, but these past few days were such a bliss for me. You've made my knees weak from a single comment, a single look. I just can't get enough of you. You're right, you are irresistible."

Bora listened to everything and moved slowly closer to Siyeon.

"I like you too." She cupped Siyeon's face just like she did the first time they met. "...and I thought we're already together?" Bora winked.

Siyeon smiled brightly and moved her arms around her. They leaned in and pressed their lips together.

The biggest fireworks were going off in Siyeon's body. This kiss felt better than the first one. The first one was a lucky accident; it didn't mean anything. This one meant everything to Siyeon as she smiled into the kiss breaking it. Bora stayed close and they stared into each other's eyes.

"I want my sandwiches every day after practice."

"No cheese."


	11. "It's not always like this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 14, 2019   
> Warnings: none

Each Dreamcatcher member was straight. At least that was what everyone assumed. That was the norm. Being anything else was a big no-no. A taboo. Especially in the Korean entertainment industry. Your career would've been over before it even began.

Siyeon and Bora took a liking to each other from the start. They became great friends and along the way, somehow, deeper feelings developed. Both tried to give the other girl hints, but unsuccessfully since it came off as just friendly playfulness.

Years passed and both didn't dare to do anything about those feelings. They feared that it would ruin everything between them and the group. They feared rejection. They feared insults. They didn't want to be looked at differently. So, they kept their mouths shut, hoping it was just a weird phase, that it will pass eventually.

In all those years tension rose and rose until one day... it got too much.

\--

_"Wow, you're really hot!"  
"I love your hair, it really suits your cute face."  
"Date? Where do you wanna go?"  
"Your hands are so soft, wish I could hold them forever."  
"Thank you, but I like your lips more."  
"Can I touch your muscles?"  
"Come back soon, I miss you already."_

Those were only some of the comments Siyeon gave to the fans she met at the fansign. Sitting next to her, Bora had to listen to her flirt away and it was starting to piss her off. She said bye to the fan that moved onto the next member. She put her hand on Siyeon's shoulder and leaned in closer to her ear.

"Could you perhaps stop flirting with the fans so much?" She whispered and leaned back. Siyeon gave her a quick confused look and returned to signing their album and other things for the new fan in front of her.

"It's not always like this." Siyeon shrugged fixing her new, blue hair. "I'm in a good mood today, I'm having fun, what's wrong with that?" She answered quickly and turned to talk more to the fan before they moved to Bora. The manager behind them was keeping the line going. There wasn't much time for the girls to talk with each other. They had to give their full attention to the fans.

"Fanservice is one thing, what you're doing is another thing. It's unprofessional."

Jealousy was speaking for her. She couldn't care less if the other members flirted with the fans, but not when Siyeon did it. She wanted her all for herself.

Bora played with the marker and did some doodles. Siyeon ignored her completely. She didn't want Bora to ruin her good mood.

"Siyeon, would you do a duet with Bora?" The fan asked as he was about to leave his chair.

"Sure, but I think Yoohyeon's voice suits mine more. We already talked about it. Maybe we can give you something in the future, so please look forward to it." she said it making sure Bora heard her loud and clear. Bora scoffed and smiled shaking her head. She stopped playing with the elephant plush someone got her.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't want to ruin the song anyway..." Bora muttered and took off the head accessory she got from the fans. She threw it on the desk making it fall off on the floor. She was done with this stupid day. Minji who was next to her picked it up and placed it back on the desk giving her a look.

"Bora, are you jealous or what's with you today?" Siyeon whispered leaning closer. She scanned Bora's face. She couldn't understand what was the older girl's problem.

"What is there to be jealous about? Are we dating or something?" Bora looked at Siyeon and raised her eyebrow.

"You tell me." Siyeon replied right away.

They were staring at each other and invisible laser beams were coming out those four eyes. Minji looked at them and tried to figure out the situation. The cameras from the fans were clicking hard making sure they get the perfect photo. They thought the girls were just playing around, but the reality was different.

Both didn't move or blink. Right now, they wanted to strangle each other. The manager nudged Siyeon as the new fan sat down in front of her. She kept her gaze a bit more before turning to the fan and putting on her best fake smile. Bora thought she could win an Oscar for that performance.

"I miss the times when you were a cute, shy girl..." Bora said quietly after a while.

"And I miss the times when you weren't such a boring, old bitch."

Bora's jaw dropped a little. She looked at Siyeon with hurt in her eyes. The other girl didn't look at her and minded her own business. Bora turned her head away slowly.

They didn't talk for the rest of the fansign.

\--

After the fansign event, the girls posed for the cameras and interacted a bit with the fans. Bora wasn't as high energy as she usually was and Siyeon didn't talk at all. Minji as the great leader she was, could sense that something was off. Before they performed Deja vu, she pulled them both aside.

"What's with you two?"

"Ask her!" Both said at the same time and walked off, leaving Minji alone to wonder what had happened. She wasn't left much time as they were about to perform.

As much as Siyeon loved their new song, she hated the dance part where she sits up only to have Bora and Minji blatantly flirt right in front of her. That was the cause of her trying to make Bora a bit jealous, only for it to result in an actual fight.

This time, Bora decided to be extra spiteful towards Siyeon. She leaned in and kissed Minji close to her lips making the whole audience scream out of joy. Minji laughed hitting her and couldn't focus on finishing their part. The girls and their team laughed. Everyone in the room found it cute. Everyone, but Siyeon.

"You're so petty." Siyeon mouthed to Bora when they faced each other near the end of the choreo. Bora grinned amused by Siyeon's jealousy. Her devilish grin only made Siyeon even angrier.

After the event was done, the girls were heading to the backstage. Siyeon hurried up to catch up with Bora.

"You're so childish, it's unreal."

Bora stopped by the door and turned to face Siyeon. "I'm having fun, what's wrong with that?" Bora smiled and moved closer. Siyeon just stared at her.

"Are you jealous? Hmm?" Bora tilted her head to the side. Siyeon grabbed her shirt ready to murder her as she felt her arm and body being pulled back.

"Enough already, both of you!" Minji looked at them annoyed. She let go of Siyeon when she was sure she calmed down. Bora fixed her shirt after Siyeon let go. The rest of the group looked over confused unsure if they were just kidding around like they usually do or if this was an actual fight.

"Are you three pranking us or what?" Gahyeon laughed nervously, but the girls didn't answer. Minji saw their crew walk over to them.

"Everything okay there? Why aren't you going into the room to change?" The manager asked and Minji put her hand on the door knob and opened the door slowly.

"Oops, we thought it was locked, sorry!" She forcefully laughed and pushed Bora inside. The other girls followed them quietly whispering to each other. Siyeon went in last.

The air in the room felt heavy as the girls undressed. They dressed back into their normal clothes without much talking. Siyeon went over to Yoohyeon and asked her if she could zip her shirt. Bora looked at them and shook her head slightly as she tied her shoe. Poor Yoohyeon was oblivious to everything as she helped Siyeon.

"Thank you lil puppy." Siyeon hugged her and kissed her cheek making her giggle. Bora was back into her normal clothes and started walking out the room making sure she hit her shoulder against Siyeon's. Siyeon smiled knowing she got her angry.

\--

Arriving at the dorm, everyone went to their rooms. Bora wanted to forget this day and went to bed ready to sleep.

"Bora, I want to talk to you. Come to the living room." Minji's voice made Bora open her eyes.

"Tell me now, I'm really tired."

"Living room, now."

Bora groaned and got up slowly.

"I swear if this is about Siyeon..."

"Surprise bitch."

Siyeon smiled, but sarcasm was written all over her smile. She was sitting on the couch in her hoodie and was hugging her legs. For a second Bora thought she looked cute. She quickly dismissed that thought. She was still upset. She looked at her then at Minji and started walking out. Minji grabbed her and pulled her back with all her strength. All those days working out really paid off in days like this.

"You're not leaving until you discuss whatever happened today. You're getting everyone worried."

\--

Minji was standing there with her hands on her hips. Bora was sitting as far away from Siyeon as she could. She wanted to leave. She didn't have the energy to talk. She didn't want to look at her.

"So, you just won't talk?"

Siyeon was playing with her nails and Bora shrugged staring into space. Minji started to leave.

"Oh well. I'll just tell the manager and you'll have to discuss it with-"

"Noooo!" Both girls yelled jumping a bit. Minji smirked and turned around to look at them. Bora was on her feet now.

"Minji, that's really not necessary..."

"Yeah, this is between us." Siyeon added and sighed.

"Then talk. Now."

Minji walked out and closed the door. Bora sat back, this time a bit closer to Siyeon.

Silence again.

Siyeon stared outside the window and Bora was playing with her hair.

"I feel like Minji is our mom and we got grounded." Bora said and Siyeon bit her lip to hide the smile that started to appear.

"She's always the mom..."

More silence.

"Okay, look..." Both started at the same.

"You first." Siyeon said and turned her body to face Bora. Bora did the same before speaking.

"I got upset... because you were honestly getting on my last nerve with your flirting. You can't be that touchy and that flirty. This is a job. We are professionals, please act accordingly."

Siyeon groaned rolling her eyes, "I was just being playful. No harm was done. I think you reacted way too emotional."

"I think I didn't, but whatever." Bora put her elbow on the couch and leaned her head on her fist. Siyeon stared at her.

"What's the difference between that and when you grab our asses in public?" Siyeon tucked her hair behind her ears and waited for the answer. Bora shrugged and seemed uninterested in Siyeon's argument.

"That's also a bit of fanservice." she simply stated but knowing well it isn't the full truth.

"So, you do it for the fans, not because you actually like doing it?" Siyeon raised her eyebrows.

"I like doing it and I know the fans do as well, so I just keep it going."

Siyeon nodded, "Okay, fair enough I guess." She sighed and played with the strings of her hoodie. She still couldn't understand where Bora's coming from. She got so upset over a few playful comments.

"Do you really think our voices don't match well? Because I think they do. I'd love to do a song with you..." Bora was looking down still hurt from Siyeon's answer at the fansign. Siyeon watched her and moved a bit closer on the couch.

"You know I do. I just wanted to make you mad. I'm sorry..." Siyeon said it sincerely and put her hand on Bora's leg. Bora smiled a bit but was still hurt. Everyone always said how she was too loud and she played along, but deep inside she was insecure about it so Siyeon's comment back then didn't help at all.

"One thing I don't really understand though. You've asked me if I were jealous, like that you flirt with the fans... What was that about?" Bora looked at Siyeon who looked away getting red in the face.

"I don't know it was the first thing that came to my mind..." She lied and hoped Bora wouldn't question it further.

They were again greeted by silence. The tension between them was just too much. It felt weird and confusing. Siyeon was nervously biting on her lower lip and Bora kept trying to distract herself by looking around the room.

"Okay, I am." Bora said breaking the silence. Siyeon looked at her just blinking.

"I am... jealous." Bora gulped and Siyeon opened her mouth to say something, but Bora cut her off.

"I like it when you're clingy to me and lately, you haven't been... so I got a bit sad." Bora smiled and looked at Siyeon whose face was flustered and red.

"I... I kinda don't like your part with Minji, I mean what... one day you'll kiss on the lips or something." Siyeon barely said it and didn't dare to look at Bora who just couldn't help, but giggle at that comment.

"Yeah sorry... I guess we are a bit too much."

Familiar silence surrounded them again. They knew they didn't really discuss anything. They haven't got any answers, only more questions. Why were they both so jealous if they are just friends? Could the other girl really feel the same? Should they just go with it and speak about their feelings or is it now not a good time? All these questions were eating them inside as they both sat there not daring to look at each other.

"I'm sorry I called you a boring, old bitch." Siyeon wanted to continue the conversation. The silence was too much.

"It's okay, maybe I am." Bora leaned her head on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"No, you're not. I like you the way you are, please don't ever change..."

Bora lifted her head and looked over feeling the serious tone of Siyeon's voice and Siyeon looked back at her. Bora waited a bit before moving closer and Siyeon turned her body again to face her. They stared into each other's eyes unsure of what was going on. Bora glanced at Siyeon's soft lips making Siyeon lean in closer. Both could feel their hearts beating faster and sweat drops on their necks.

It's really happening, they waited years and it's finally happening.

Their eyes met for a second before moving down again to their lips. Siyeon wetted hers and Bora leaned in with only a few inches separating them.

"So, did you finally talk?!"

Minji's voice made them jump as she busted into the room. Bora quickly leaned back on the couch casually placing her hand around her neck. Siyeon turned her body forward and forced a cough.

"I couldn't wait any longer and I didn't hear you talk, so I came in to check if you're alive or if you have killed each other." Minji sighed and sat on a chair.

"Oh, we're alive..." Bora whispered feeling her rapid pulse on her neck.

"We're definitely alive..." Siyeon said with a shy smile on her face. 


	12. "What if I don't see it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 17, 2019  
> Warnings: none

The way the CEO's mouth moved when he said those words. The tone of his voice. The way he sighed right after. The way he looked at each girl. The way he flipped through the papers on the desk. The way he was clicking his expensive pen nervously. The way Yoohyeon looked down with tears in her eyes. The way Yubin stared into space. The way Bora bit her lower lip. The way Minji nodded slowly trying hard to keep it together. It was all engraved in her brain.

"I'm sorry girls, the numbers are low, we're not making any progress, we'll have to disband the group."

That sentence haunted Siyeon ever since that day. She couldn't sleep at night. If she did, she would have nightmares. Cuddling with other girls helped sometimes. She couldn't listen to any songs. She couldn't sing. She couldn't do anything

Each girl managed their sadness in their own way. For Yoohyeon and Siyeon, it was playing video games together at a cyber cafe near their company. They could focus on something else and had fun while doing so. But once they shut down the computers, the thoughts came running back.

Playing for hours until end, they finally left the cyber cafe and started walking back to the company.

"Do you know where's Bora? I haven't seen her the whole day..." Siyeon asked looking up at Yoohyeon.

"I think she's at the dance studio. Don't tell her I told you, but she told me that dancing is the only thing that keeps her going these days, that keeps her sane..."

The taller girl looked at the ground while walking. She kept wondering where it all went wrong. All of their hard work and talent thrown down the drain just like that.

"I'll go see her, do you want to come?" Siyeon opened the company's door and walked in.

"I promised Yubin to hang out with her." Yoohyeon said as she looked down to check her phone, "She texted me that she's still here, so I'll go find her. See you later, Siyeon."

The girls hugged each other and went their separate ways. Siyeon was walking down the stairs and she could hear the music from the studio at each floor a bit louder. She opened the door and peaked with her head. Her ears were greeted by an upbeat hip-hop song as Bora danced hitting every beat with her body. She noticed Siyeon in the mirror and stopped moving.

"You scared me there for a second." Bora smiled and turned around to face her. Siyeon walked in and closed the door. Bora went over to stop the music from playing but was cut off by Siyeon's voice.

"No, no, don't stop just because of me." She sat down on the floor and leaned against the mirror. "Can I be here and watch you?"

Bora scratched her neck, "Ah, I'll get shy..." She answered running her fingers nervously through her hair.

"Bora, come on now, you're not shy." Siyeon smiled a bit and hugged her knees putting her chin on them. She watched Bora through the mirror. When Bora danced, she always had that charisma that separated great dancers from average ones. Her moves were precise and her body followed the rhythm naturally. She could make a whole choreography in a few minutes. She always helped her perfect her moves and become a better dancer. All that talent rotting away in this dance studio.

Siyeon started to tear up again at the memories. She wiped her tears away and leaned her head back on the mirror closing her eyes. The music stopped and she felt two hands cupping her cheeks. She opened her eyes and saw Bora crouching in front of her.

"It still hurts, doesn't it?" She asked softly

Siyeon pressed her lips together and shut her eyes again. She let new tears race down her cheeks. Bora slowly wiped them away with her thumbs. She hated to see Siyeon cry. Out of all the girls, she cried the most. It really affected her badly.

She sat down in front of her and pulled her gently into a hug. Siyeon scooted over in between Bora's legs and leaned into her. She hid her head into Bora's chest and started to sob quietly. Bora wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly without saying a word. They stayed like that for a while before Siyeon sniffed and wiped her tears ready to talk again.

"I wanted to debut so badly... I-I worked so hard... and now I'm back to square one!" She sobbed gripping Bora's hoodie with her hand. Bora kissed her head and cuddled her. She leaned her head softly on Siyeon's and stared in the mirror in front of them.

Her eyes moved to the door as she heard Yoohyeon and Yubin happily walk in, but their smiles quickly faded away as they stopped immediately seeing the scene in the studio. Bora waved her hand at them trying to 'shoo' them away. The girls mouthed 'sorry' and left quietly.

Siyeon heard them leave and took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. Her cheeks were puffy from crying and her eyes were red and sore. The sadness was eating her alive. She cried so many times this month and it still wasn't enough. She still had more tears. She still had that hole in her chest that just wasn't going away.

She lifted her head a bit to look at Bora. Bora gave her a small smile and wiped away the remaining tears with her sleeve.

"Sorry..." Siyeon sniffed looking at the wet spot on Bora's hoodie where her head was burried in. Bora shook her head.

"It's okay. You need to cry it out." She smiled warmly and started fixing Siyeon's hair.

"I don't know how you do it." Siyeon swallowed and wiped her nose. "How are you so strong? You're dancing here and I can't sing one note anymore without crying. I don't think I've seen you cry ever since we got the news..."

Bora sighed and looked down, "I do cry. I just don't want you girls to see me. I feel too vulnerable. So, I drown my sorrow here where I feel most comfortable." She lifted her head to look around the studio. She knew every corner of it. She could draw it with her eyes closed.

"It's just me and the music. No one to judge me, no one to tell me I'm not good enough. I love dancing too much to just let it go. This dance studio is my happy place."

Siyeon sniffed again and nodded. She loved singing too, with all her heart, but she just couldn't do it.

"I just feel like I've let everyone down. Myself, my family, my friends, you girls, the company..." Siyeon muttered and Bora watched her speak.

"Maybe I'm just lying to myself and I haven't worked hard enough. If I did, would things turn out better? All those lazy days came back to bite me..."

"Siyeon..." Bora whispered and rubbed her back. She saw tears forming again in the corner of Siyeon's eyes as she started talking faster before the tears could fall.

"What if it's all my fault? What if I'm not a good singer? What if the public hated me so they didn't want to follow us? Am I too ugly? Too fat? What if someone else took my place? What if-"

She couldn't continue as Bora's lips were suddenly kissing hers. Her eyes widened and she pushed Bora away with her hand.

"Wh-What are you doing?!"

Siyeon's hands were on the floor as she moved a bit away and Bora moved her arms back on the floor and supported herself on her hands. She was breathing heavier and looked at her lips again.

"You talk too damn much... I wanted to distract you."

She lifted her gaze to Siyeon's eyes to see them being filled with shock and confusion. Siyeon's lips were a bit parted and she didn't know what to say. She didn't expect this at all. The kiss definitely distracted her, because it was now the only thing on her mind.

She looked over at Bora who was still staring at her unsure if the risk was worth it.

"Can you..." Siyeon muttered biting her lip before finishing, "Can you do it again?" she said under her breath meeting Bora's eyes and then looking down at her lips. She wanted to feel those lips on hers again. She wanted that distraction. She was done with crying.

Bora didn't move and just watched the younger girl come back closer to her. She leaned up placing her hand on the side of Siyeon's neck before connecting their lips again. This time Siyeon didn't back away. She leaned into the kiss and put her hands on Bora's thighs that were still surrounding her.

Their lips moved slowly savouring each kiss. Bora placed her other hand on Siyeon's waist as she held her in place while they kissed. She pulled away a bit resting her forehead on Siyeon's. They had their eyes shut and breathed into each other's lips. Siyeon kissed her again wanting more. Bora started to move closer and put her arm around Siyeon's back making her lean down on the floor as Bora slowly pressed her body onto hers.

Siyeon's hands found Bora's waist as they deepened the kiss opening their mouths for their tongues to slow dance around each other. Bora was holding herself up on her left forearm as the right hand was running down Siyeon's side to her leg.

They heard a group of people outside the studio. They pulled away and both looked at the door, but thankfully, no one came in. The voices were fading out. It was just someone passing by. Both girls closed their eyes and sighed in relief. There was no way they could explain if someone had come in. The position they were in had no other logical explanation.

"Feel better?" Bora asked as she looked down at Siyeon. She rubbed her cheek with her thumb. Siyeon smiled a bit and nodded placing her hand on Bora's. They were looking into each other's eyes and Bora could still see a bit of shock in Siyeon's eyes. She wanted to kiss her again but decided this was enough.

She started to get off her and helped her stand up. Sudden sense got back into their heads as they were both red in the face. Bora went over to the corner of the studio to turn the music again. Now she was the one that needed distraction.

"I'll go back to the dorm now..." Siyeon said and nibbled on her lip as it still felt hot.

"I want to dance a bit more. I'll come in a few hours." Bora looked at her and Siyeon nodded. She walked over to the door.

"Hey, Bora?

She put her hand on the door knob.

"Thank you."

She smiled and walked out.

Bora grinned and turned the music back on, ready to lose herself again.

\--

Siyeon arrived at the dorm and was immediately greeted by Yoohyeon.

"Hey... Are you feeling better?" Yoohyeon wrapped her arms around her and Siyeon hugged her back.

"Yes. I had a mini-breakdown, but I'm better now." She smiled into Yoohyeon's chest remembering the kiss. If Yoohyeon knew she would freak out and tease her until the end of time.

"Come join us in the kitchen, Minji made us some muffins."

\--

Bora arrived at the dorm around 11 pm. She ran her fingers through her hair that was still a bit wet from the shower she took back at the company. She was glad her hair wasn't blonde anymore with that ugly cut they made her get. It didn't suit her at all.

She dropped her bag in her room and went over to the living room to see the girls cuddled up watching tv.

"Wow I'm missing out." She pouted and the girls looked over at her smiling.

"Come here, there's still room!" Minji called her, but Bora declined shaking her head.

"I'm too tired, I'll just go to bed. You girls have fun."

Before leaving she glanced over at Siyeon who was already staring at her. Siyeon didn't know whether to follow her or not. If she got up right now it would be too obvious. She would have to wait. She slouched deeper into the couch sighing. She missed her already. She kept touching her lower lip with her fingers as she continued to stare at the tv not really following the plot anymore.

After a while, she looked over and the girls were still wide awake. She changed her position as she was getting frustrated. She just wanted to cuddle with Bora and fall asleep in her arms, was that really too much to ask. She took out her phone and started to text her making sure Yubin who was next to her wouldn't notice it.

[Siyeon :)]  
_Hey_ _are_ _you_ _asleep?_

She kept staring at the tv screen and her phone back and forth. She started to lose hope as she saw 'Typing...' at the bottom of the screen. She sighed in relief and Yubin looked over confused. She pressed her phone on her chest face down and watched the tv hoping she wasn't too obvious. Yubin didn't seem to notice anything strange and leaned over to get another muffin. Siyeon quickly looked at her phone.

[Bora ^^]  
_Come_ _:)_

She smiled so brightly she would've been caught if the girls looked over. The drama they were watching saved Siyeon. The two main characters finally kissed and the girls' eyes were glued to the screen as they cheered. She bit her finger nervously and started thinking of ways how to escape.

"How much longer until the end?" She asked and looked at the girls. Minji clicked the remote and it showed 35 minutes left. Siyeon sighed. She couldn't wait that long and Bora would probably be asleep by then.

"Ah, continue without me. I'm getting sleepy."

She removed the blankets off her and got up. She held her phone tightly and started to leave.

"See you later... roommate." Yoohyeon said smirking as she insinuated that she knew she would go to her and Bora's room. Siyeon's face got red immediately. Lucky for her, the room was too dark for the girls to see.

Getting into Bora's and Yoohyeon's room, she quietly closed the door. She snuck into Bora's bed slowly not sure if she fell asleep by now. She felt a hand touch her side making her instantly smile. Siyeon lied down with one leg in between Bora's legs. She put her head on her chest feeling her heartbeat. Bora put her arm around Siyeon and gently ran her fingers on her back.

"Don't tell the girls, but you're the best at cuddling."

Siyeon heard Bora giggle sleepily. She went too far at the studio; her legs were killing her. Siyeon's text woke her up, but she didn't want to tell her that. Siyeon felt Bora's hand slip off her back slowly and she looked up at her. Bora's breathing was low and she was fast asleep. Siyeon pulled the duvet more over them and nuzzled her head into Bora's neck before falling asleep herself.

\--

Bora woke up to the sound of the door closing. Yoohyeon probably left, she thought to herself. She felt Siyeon's back pressed against her body as she was spooning her. Her arm under Siyeon's neck was numb, but she didn't move. She pulled her closer by the waist and fell asleep again.

Siyeon woke up shortly after and smiled when she realized where she was at. The first thing she saw was her fingers intertwined with Bora's.

No nightmares. No disruptive sleeping. Just peace for once.

She stretched a bit and yawned. She felt the arm around her body grip her tighter.

"Good morning... How did you sleep?" Bora's deep, raspy morning voice tickled her ear.

Siyeon smiled and put her arm on Bora's. "Never better."

She felt a kiss on the back of her head that made her get goosebumps. She turned around slowly to meet Bora's sleepy eyes. She could barely keep them open. Bora smiled a bit and shut her eyes again. She smiled again when she felt Siyeon's lips press against hers.

"What are you doing..."

Bora kept her eyes shut.

"Distracting you..."

Siyeon smiled as she kissed her again.

"Mmh... I'm fully focused on you. I don't need distraction."

Siyeon bit her lip and felt her stomach turn from the butterflies. She stared at Bora's bareface. The room was still pretty dark, but she could see her features well. She didn't need makeup. She was too perfect.

Siyeon gently ran her fingers on Bora's cheek feeling the softness of her skin.

"You're tickling me..."

Siyeon smiled as she didn't stop. She placed her finger on Bora's nose. Bora wiggled her nose like a bunny and Siyeon giggled. She dropped her hand and sat up.

"Where are you going..." Bora whined with her raspy voice and gripped her arm gently.

"God, your morning voice has to be the sexiest thing in the world..."

Bora pulled her arm making Siyeon lean back down to kiss her. Bora gave her back a messy kiss as she still wasn't fully awake.

"I'll pee right here if you don't let me go." Siyeon giggled and got out the bed. She heard Bora groan and turn around in the bed.

\--

Siyeon was in a great mood ever since yesterday, and not once had the thought of their disbandment crossed her mind. She ate her breakfast like it was the most delicious thing in the world and she was bubbly, she kept talking and laughing. Yoohyeon looked at her and swallowed her food.

"You've been in a slump for a month and now you're suddenly happy. Everything okay?"

The girls looked at Siyeon and she couldn't hide her smile.

"Yes, everything's fine! I'm just happy."

She took some more food on her plate and she could feel the girls' eyes observing her. They stopped as a sleepy Bora came into the kitchen. She yawned and sat down next to Siyeon. Siyeon could physically feel Yoohyeon's brain working it all out. She glanced over at her and Yoohyeon looked away smirking.

"Slept well? I heard you danced for hours yesterday?" Minji asked and Bora pulled a guilty face.

"I might have overdone it..." She put her hand on her thigh and rubbed it still feeling the muscle ache. Today she wouldn't dance. She would just hurt herself. Her legs needed proper rest.

The girls ate and chatted a bit. Yubin found a new manga to read and they teased her that she still hadn't finished the last one. Minji talked about how she almost burned herself yesterday when she made those tasty muffins. Yoohyeon made progress on her Chinese and started talking and the girls blankly stared at her. She pouted when she realized she had no one to practice with. During all of that, Bora played footsies with Siyeon under the table. She glanced over at Siyeon who was smiling not daring to look back.

\--

"Siyeon, same time today?" Yoohyeon asked as she put the dishes away in the sink.

"Uh, same time what?" Siyeon furrowed her eyebrows. She leaned on the chair and was still eating a piece of bread.

"Cyber cafe? The new game we wanted to try out?" Yoohyeon turned to face her and raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, that! Ah, I'm not in the mood today."

Yoohyeon stared at her. Siyeon was obsessed with games. She was the one always begging her to play with her. She was the one that wanted to try out that new game. So, this new Siyeon confused her.

"You're acting so strange, ever since you came back to the dorm yesterday." Yoohyeon narrowed her eyes and looked over suspiciously. She crossed her arms smirking waiting for Siyeon's answer.

"I'm not acting strange! I'm just happy! Why can't I be happy?" Siyeon almost yelled and looked everywhere but at Yoohyeon.

"Why are you getting so defensive? Spill it out or I'll say it for you." She smiled and walked over to her. Siyeon looked up and was getting red in the face. Yoohyeon put her hands on Siyeon's shoulders.

"Spill. It."

Siyeon sighed and looked around scared that someone might hear her. She leaned to Yoohyeon's ear and quickly explained what went down in the dance studio. Yoohyeon had her mouth open as Siyeon leaned back.

"Wow. I kinda assumed it, but didn't think it was really like that! You really kiss-"

"Shhh!" Siyeon put her hand on Yoohyeon's mouth. "The whole building doesn't need to know..." She groaned and dropped her hand. Yoohyeon laughed and shook her head in disbelief.

"Wow... I'm still speechless. Now what? Are you like together?" She whispered the last part as quietly as possible. Siyeon bit her lip and shrugged.

"I've been meaning to ask her, but a part of me feels like she's just having fun and that breaks my heart." She sighed and started walking around the kitchen touching random things as she spoke.

"I mean... I'm not delusional right, it has to mean something?"

As much as she was happy, she was panicking inside from the possible outcome that Bora was really just doing it to calm her down. It worked, but where there any real feelings in those kisses? In those touches? Was Bora just doing it out of pity? Siyeon started overthinking again and got herself back into that bad mood she tried to escape so hard from.

"You'll have to talk about it with her. I'm sure both of you are on the same page." Yoohyeon placed a hand on Siyeon's shoulder. Siyeon nodded and hugged her taller friend that always knew what to say.

\--

Siyeon wanderer around the dorm trying to find Bora as she didn't see her leave like the other girls. She took her phone out to text her when she felt a pair of arms hugging her from behind. She got startled and almost dropped her phone.

"Bora, I swear..." She put her hand on her chest and could feel her heartbeat rapidly beating. Bora let go and Siyeon turned around. She would ask her today. She needed to know.

"Will you just stand there or will you come cuddle with me in bed?" Bora winked and Siyeon let out a laugh.

"I'm pretty sure I'm taking the second option."

They got into the room and Bora closed the door. Siyeon started taking off her hoodie and pants as she heard Bora giggle behind her.

"Woah, I said cuddling, I don't know what you've heard..." She laughed when Siyeon threw her clothes on her head. Bora pulled them off and put them on the chair.

"I'm more comfortable this way." Siyeon shrugged being now only in her top and underwear. Getting into Bora's bed she smelled her scent all over the pillows. She closed her eyes when her head leaned on them. She wished she could smell that scent every day and every night.

Bora lied down on her side and supported herself on her arm. She looked at Siyeon who opened her eyes and moved on her back. It was one of those times where they didn't have to say a word to understand each other perfectly. Their eyes did the talking for them. Bora moved closer and placed her hand on Siyeon's neck with her thumb resting on her lips. Siyeon watched her as Bora's thumb slowly pulled down her lower lip. Bora leaned in to kiss Siyeon but stopped before connecting their lips as she looked at Siyeon.

"What's wrong?"

Siyeon looked away and a smile broke across her face.

"Am I that obvious..."

Bora smiled and leaned back on the pillows. Siyeon turned so she can be on her side and she started to play with Bora's hand. She was pinching the skin gently and ran her fingers along Bora's. She always found them cute since her hand was much smaller than hers. Bora watched their hands before lifting her gaze back to Siyeon's eyes.

"What are we?" Siyeon finally asked while still staring at their hands. She started to pinch the skin a bit harder.

"Like, what is all this..." She finally looked at Bora who remained calm. "Why did you kiss me back then at the studio?"

"I told you, to distract you."

"Only because of that?" Siyeon looked down again at their hands. Bora contemplated because she knew it would sound bad no matter how she said it.

"Well...yes..."

Siyeon stayed quiet for a while and Bora didn't dare to talk. She thought she would only make it worse.

"What if I don't see it?" Siyeon began, "What if I don't see it as a distraction, but as something more?" She stopped playing with Bora's hand and looked at her. Bora didn't know where to look. She sat up a bit more.

"I just wanted to make you stop crying. I didn't want to see you so sad." Bora looked at Siyeon whose expression changed.

"So all of this is just a facade? It doesn't mean anything?" She let go of Bora's hand.

"I didn't say that?" Bora raised her eyebrows and took Siyeon's hand again.

"I really thought this meant something more and not a pity party for me."

Bora could hear Siyeon's voice shaking as she was battling tears.

"Siyeon..."

She wanted to move closer, but Siyeon just wanted to get out of the bed. Out of the room.

"Siyeon, wait!" Bora quickly sat up and put her arm in front of Siyeon preventing her from leaving. Siyeon didn't move and just looked down letting tears fall on the bed. Bora put her hand on Siyeon's thigh.

"Don't go... "

Siyeon wiped away her tears and lied back down on her back. Bora lied down on her tummy and put her arm over Siyeon's body so her upper body is pressed against her as their eyes met. Bora could see the pain written all over Siyeon's face. She hated herself for it, but Siyeon didn't let her explain.

"Yes, the main reason why I've kissed you was to stop you from talking. That is the truth. You kept insulting yourself and I was having none of it. But don't you think if I didn't like you in the first place, I would've just put my hand over your mouth or tell you to stop..."

"So, you like me?"

"Yes, if it isn't obvious enough..." Bora rolled her eyes and sighed.

Siyeon looked away at the wall. "I feel like I like you way more than you like me. I feel like I care about this deeper than you do."

Bora shook her head and leaned closer.

"Siyeon, please don't do this. You know that's not true."

Bora's hand was slowly caressing Siyeon's shoulder all this time. She leaned down to kiss her forehead. Siyeon closed her eyes when Bora's lips touched her forehead.

"I feel safe with you."

Bora smiled and leaned her forehead on Siyeon's.

"I feel safe when you hold me, when you kiss me, when you touch me, when you just look at me. I feel like when I'm with you, nothing can hurt me. I want that moment to last forever..."

Siyeon put her hands on Bora's cheeks and made her look at her.

"You said the dance studio is your happy place... well you're mine."

Bora watched her and kissed her forehead again.

"Siyeon, I don't know what the future holds, and it scares me, it scares me more than I show it. What I do know is that I want to live it all with you."

Siyeon smiled and pulled Bora's head into a deep kiss. Bora tightened her grip on Siyeon's shoulder and moved her other hand on her tummy. Siyeon moved her arm around Bora's lower back and the other around her neck to hold her tightly against her as they kissed. They kissed passionately as if it's going to be the last.

"Don't ever leave me, please." Siyeon whispered looking up at Bora who kissed her again.

"I'm not going anywhere."

They kissed again and again until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

\--

For the next few days, it became a routine.

Kiss until their lips are puffy, talk until the early morning hours, cuddle to sleep, play with each other's hands, wrestle in bed, go on dates. Besides Yoohyeon who already knew, they decided to tell the other girls so they didn't have to hide. It only resulted in them cringing whenever they kissed or were clingy to each other.

Bora managed to keep Siyeon happy. She sang with her in the dance studio and Siyeon started to cry as it was her first time singing in a long time. She still had times where she got back into that slump and Bora had to drag her out.

There was a rumor going on in the company that they would redebut them, but with changes to the member list. Siyeon was freaking out. Debuting again would mean everything to her, but what was the point if it wasn't with her girls, if it wasn't with Bora. The thought of not having Bora by her side every day made her panic. Bora tried to reassure her that everything would be okay, that they could still find time to see each other if they don't redebut together, but those were empty words to Siyeon.

They were all outside the CEO's office and Siyeon was walking back and forth while Bora had her head in her hands as she looked at the floor. Minji kept telling them that they had nothing to worry about, but deep inside she was dying from fear. Siyeon walked over to Bora and for the first time, she saw how afraid Bora was. Her mask cracked at the pressure and she couldn't be strong anymore. Siyeon sat down next to her and held her until they were called in.

\--

"We thought about whether to switch up the group and separate you into two, or have Siyeon or Minji as solo..."

Siyeon could feel her whole body going numb as she listened to his words. She was holding Bora's hand under the table and her grip loosened completely. Bora could feel her heart sinking and her legs losing feeling. If she wasn't sitting on this chair she would have passed out on the floor.

"...but that would be too complicated and risky. So we'll just keep you as you are."

The CEO got a bit startled at the deep exhales from the girls. They held in that breath for too long.

"Anyway, two new members will join, I'm sure you've run into them lately. Lee Gahyeon and Han Dong. I'm counting on you to make them feel welcome."

The CEO spoke and the girls nodded happily. Siyeon held Bora's hand tightly again as she could feel it shake. She looked at her and smiled as their eyes met. Bora tried to be calm, but all those bottled up emotions were knocking on her door ready to come out. They left the office and Bora broke down on the floor crying. Siyeon got on her knees and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed her cheek multiple times and smiled. Bora turned around a bit to hug her and cried into her shoulder. They felt the other girls' arms on them as they all got into a big group hug.

\--

"We're debuting again..." Bora said as she was lying in bed on her back. Siyeon was lying next to her and they both started at the top of her bunk.

"Together."

Siyeon smiled and turned her body to face Bora. Bora rolled on her side and took Siyeon's hand to kiss it gently. She held it close to her lips. Siyeon touched them slowly with her fingers.

"You really broke down there..."

Bora nodded and looked away. She didn't want Siyeon to see her like that, but the way she cared for her made it okay. Siyeon could see Bora getting lost in her own thoughts.

"Baby, am I the one to distract you this time?" Siyeon teased and laughed when Bora got on top of her tickling her.

"I'll show you a distraction!" Bora yelled and smiled as she tickled Siyeon knowing she would get to do it over and over again.


	13. "I never knew it could be this way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 21, 2019   
> Warnings: none

Bora loved her personal space and would fight for it as if her life depended on it. She was affectionate towards her members, but she had her limits with certain things. So, whenever the group toured and stayed in hotel rooms, she had rules. If there were two beds pushed together, if possible, they would be separated. If there was a big bed for two people, they would stay on each side of it. A curled-up blanket was put in the middle as a border. Don't cross it and you would be fine.

Siyeon was the complete opposite. She was clingy. Sometimes even too clingy. She craved contact. Her hotel room buddy would need to cuddle her, talk until she fell asleep, let her play with their fingers, kiss each other on the cheek or head. She would never separate two beds. She would never put a stupid blanket in between them. If she could choose, she would want a single bed so there was no room for moving much. It was just pure platonic closeness.

And just like that, Bora and Siyeon got paired up together as roommates for the upcoming European tour. Bora stared at her hand as she lost the rock, paper, scissors game to Yubin. Loser got to room with Siyeon. Yubin put her hand on her stomach starting to laugh and the other girls joined as well clapping and nudging Bora. Bora looked up to meet her roommate's grinning face. Her eyes were sparkling from joy as she took Bora's hand and jumped up and down a few times giggling like a child.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Finally, we meet again!"

Bora sighed and face palmed with her other hand. Her lips curved into a small smile as she shook her head at the situation she got herself into. She shared a room with Siyeon once before. It was a mess. The younger girl kept being annoying on purpose and they barely got any slept. Not only that, but she left clothes everywhere. Bora being a clean freak thought she was in a never-ending nightmare.

"I'll talk to the manager. I need two separate beds for my sanity." Bora smiled when Siyeon started pouting hard and looking down.

I'll just crawl into your bed." Siyeon crossed her arms smirking and Bora raised her eyebrows and stared into her soul.

"Do it and see what happens..."

Siyeon pouted again and hugged Yoohyeon for comfort.

"Tough luck, Bora." Yubin winked and Bora gave her a fake smile making the other girl giggle.

_Let the fun begin._

\--

Bora checked her ticket and slowly made her way to her seat in the packed airplane. She hated the crowd. She hoped one day they could be so successful they have their own private jet. For now, this would have to do.

Sitting right next to the window, she already imagined the beautiful scenery she would get to see as they fly across Europe. She was lost in her thoughts when someone flicked her head gently.

"Hey, loser."

The devil herself with blue hair sat next to her. Bora looked at her and sighed.

"You just won't leave me alone for this tour, won't you?"

Siyeon giggled and winked. "It's been a long time... I miss you." Siyeon whined and Bora smiled pinching her cheek.

"You have everything?" Bora's eyes turned to Siyeon's small bag she had placed on her lap. She sounded genuinely concerned. She knew Siyeon could be forgetful.

"Yes, mom..." Siyeon smirked as she zipped the bag. She was appreciative of Bora's care for her. Even though she had her weird sleeping rules, overall, she was a great, caring person.

Bora cupped Siyeon's face. "Will you be good to mommy and won't bother her too much?" She asked as if she was actually talking to a baby. The other girl laughed and put on her best baby voice.

"Yes, mommy! I'll be the best girl ever! No spanking for me!"

An older lady from the row in front of them turned around and just looked at them in disgust. Siyeon hid her face into Bora's shoulder and Bora quickly looked out the window as she blushed from the embarrassment. The lady scoffed at them and turned back around. The girls held their mouths trying not to laugh. Bora shut her eyes trying to calm herself down and Siyeon bit her lip. Her mouth was twitching and a few small laughs escaped. Bora was hitting Siyeon's shoulder playfully trying to stop her because she was on the edge of getting them kicked off the plane.

\--

Siyeon slowly woke up from her nap. She stared out the window and she couldn't really see anything, only a sea of clouds. It was still daytime.

She tried to do the math, but her brain just wouldn't work. The little screen on the seat in front of hers said they still had 9 hours left. She yawned immediately just looking at that number.

A streak of blonde hair on her shoulder caught her attention. Her eyes traced the hair to reveal a sleepy Bora who was resting her head against Siyeon's shoulder. She smiled warmly and pulled carefully the little blanket more over Bora's body to keep her warm.

Taking her phone out, Siyeon took some selfies, many with cute filters on. She couldn't wait to tease Bora with them later when she would wake up.

She left her to sleep and put in her earbuds to listen to some music.

After an hour she got bored and wished Bora would wake up. She needed to pee so badly, but she couldn't move as Bora's head was stuck to her shoulder like a magnet. When she tried to move a bit, Bora would snuggle more into her not letting her leave. Siyeon thought she looked adorable. Her lips were slightly parted and she snored quietly. She kissed the sleeping beauty gently on the head and scrolled through her playlist.

_I'll break down your walls Bora, just you wait._

\--

Bora looked around confused waking up from her long nap. It took her a second to remember why she was on a plane. She rubbed her face and it felt so good not to wear any makeup.

She yawned and her vision got blurry from the tears that arrived. She didn't think she would be that tired. Wiping her eyes, she heard a familiar voice sit back next to her.

"I'm here, I'm here, no need to cry." Siyeon chuckled and Bora gave her a look but smiled afterwards. The younger girl was holding a plate full of fruit snacks and began to eat.

"How long was I out? I don't even remember falling asleep." Bora scratched her head and looked out the window. Pitch black.

"You slept for like 5 hours...and I'm the baby here." Siyeon snorted and chucked a few grapes in her mouth.

"Moms get tired of taking care of their annoying kids." Bora smiled and pulled the blanket to her chin.

Siyeon tapped the gallery on her phone. "I have something on you though. I expect the same coziness in the hotel room." She smirked and held up her phone to Bora who furrowed her eyebrows. She now stared at the selfie Siyeon took.

The selfie showed Bora clinging to Siyeon's shoulder and Siyeon having a bright smile and was pointing at Bora with her finger. Bora smirked and leaned back in her seat.

"That was... accidental. Don't expect anything like that." Bora shrugged and stole a strawberry from Siyeon's plate.

"Oh, it's on." Siyeon winked ready for the challenge ahead of her.

\--

Arriving finally at 9 pm in London, the girls headed to their hotel. Some fans were waiting outside and shyly waved at them. The girls tried their best to interact but were too tired to function. The jet lag was already kicking in and all they wanted to do was sleep.

"Ready to cuddle?" Siyeon leaned on the door frame before inserting the card key. Bora rolled her eyes taking the card away from her.

"You're setting yourself up for disappointment."

Bora unlocked the door, but Siyeon pushed through and ran in going straight forward to check the bed. Bora heard a laugh and knew it meant trouble. Walking in, she was greeted by one big bed. Siyeon flopped on it on her back and spread her arms and legs as if it was all hers.

"You're mine tonight." Siyeon smiled and tapped the bed happily. Bora put her suitcase next to the wall and raised her eyebrows. She looked at Siyeon with a smug on her face.

"That sounds a bit wrong, don't you think?"

Siyeon instantly got flustered and pulled the duvet over her face leaving Bora to laugh. Siyeon herself couldn't keep a straight face under the duvet. She stayed like that until the coast was clear. Her head peeked out when she heard the shower going off. She sighed and got off the bed.

She was unpacking some things when she saw Bora walk out of the bathroom. She had on a facemask and was already in her pyjamas. Siyeon stared at the navy-blue beautiful silk that made its way to the bed.

"Sorry for hogging the bathroom, it's all yours now." Bora smiled and dropped the clothes she wore on her suitcase. She crouched down to get her phone charger. She got into bed and looked over at Siyeon.

"Why are you staring at me like that? Got scared of the facemask?"

Siyeon blinked and shook her head. "Ah, no, I was just wondering what brand your pyjamas are... They look very expensive."

Bora giggled and ran her hand over her leg feeling the fabric. "They were, but sugar mommy Bora got it covered."

Siyeon laughed and shook her head. She took out her pyjamas and toilet necessities and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

\--

"Bora...can we please cuddle?" Siyeon asked as she made her way over the blanket border that was already established by the older girl. She put her hand on Bora's forearm, but Bora turned around to face the wall.

"No. Go back to sleep."

Siyeon pouted by her cold answer but decided to scoot closer as Bora couldn't see her now. She grinned and got under Bora's duvet carefully. She shut her eyes as Bora's side felt warmer than hers. It was perfect until Bora turned around and her back hit her. Bora groaned and started to push her.

"Ugh, move over, you're literally on my side, I have no room."

Siyeon sighed and slowly moved back to her side. She got goosebumps as the cold sheets touched her. "Bora it's cold here..."

Her whines were ignored.

"Can you at least hold my hand?"

Nothing.

Siyeon felt real sadness in her chest when she felt Bora's hand tapping around the bed a few times before finding what she was looking for. Siyeon smiled and slowly intertwined their fingers.

_Step by step._

\--

Bora woke up by her alarm. She snoozed it quickly and shut her eyes again. She didn't hear Siyeon move so she turned around to lie on her hip. Siyeon was asleep on her side of the bed. Her lower back was exposed as her pyjamas slid up during the night. Bora leaned over and pulled the duvet over Siyeon's back. She leaned back and watched her sleep.

She smiled at Siyeon's choice of sleepwear. While her own was boring, Siyeon had cute little mugs all over hers. She saw those mugs move as Siyeon turned around sleepily to look at her.

"Why are you smiling at me..." Her puffy face made a confused expression.

"Good morning to you too. Come on, let's get ready, we'll be late for breakfast."

\--

Arriving together at breakfast, the others were already at the table eating. Siyeon scratched her head and yawned.

"Mommy, can you bring me some food, I'll be at the table..." She hugged Bora's arm and Bora sighed as she looked around at all the food scattered around.

"This mommy joke is getting out of hand. Okay just go, I'll bring you something."

Siyeon kissed her cheek and skipped over to their table to meet the others.

"You two didn't kill each other?" Gahyeon asked as she bit into her toast. Siyeon shook her head smiling.

"I behaved and she wasn't so bad." She shrugged and looked over as Bora was carrying their breakfast on a tray.

"Where did you get the tray from?" Yoohyeon asked and looked around the hall. She couldn't see any being there free to use.

"I stole it, I mean... borrowed it." Bora smirked and Yoohyeon hit her playfully. Siyeon took the food and the drinks off the tray.

"Thank you, mommy, you're the best."

Bora sat down and the girls just stared at them two. They began to eat and Siyeon took a sip of her coffee. They were completely unaware of the girls' eyes on them.

"Mommy?" Minji raised her eyebrows. Siyeon and Bora looked at her then at each other.

"Long story." They said at the same time and giggled, leaving the other girls confused.

\--

The rest of the day the girls spent doing lots of activities revolving around their tour. Interviews, promotional stuff, fan sign. Their schedule was so packed this year, they had no time to relax, but they were making great progress, so, at the end of the day, it was all worth it.

The day passed by quickly and they were in their beds again ready to dream away. Siyeon looked over at Bora who was taking selfies in bed. She turned around on all fours and crawled to Bora making her groan.

"What, I want to take pics too!"

"I'll post them on our app." Bora said while she edited their newly taken selfies.

"Are you excited for the first show tomorrow?" Siyeon asked and Bora nodded without looking away from her phone.

"I'm a bit nervous, but I'm sure they'll love us."

Siyeon raised her eyebrow at Bora's words. "The dancing queen nervous? No way."

Bora just shrugged. "I am though. What about you, you're not nervous?" She moved her gaze from the phone to Siyeon.

"Nah, I'm confident." Siyeon winked making Bora snort.

"Stuck up."

Siyeon hit her on the shoulder and smiled.

"I'm out. Goodnight Bora." Siyeon moved a bit down and got under the duvet. Bora looked down at her with a serious face.

"You do realize you're on my side of the bed?"

Siyeon closed her eyes and hummed in agreement.

"So, move before I move you."

Siyeon just giggled and stayed there not moving a muscle.

"Oh, shit!" It was the first thing she said when Bora's arms rolled her over to her side in one swift movement.

"How are you strong with such tiny body..." Siyeon groaned and turned to look at Bora who flexed her arms up, but unfortunately for her, the pyjamas were hiding those muscles she wanted to show off.

"I'll just wait until you move closer to me, just like last night..." Siyeon smirked and Bora got red in the face dropping her bodybuilder pose.

"I-I didn't move at all!"

"Goodnight mommy." Siyeon winked and turned off her night light.

Bora was sitting there going over last night. She didn't move she knew it. Siyeon wouldn't wait this long to tease her about it if it really happened.

Her brain was working overtime and she shut her night light as it was disturbing her thinking.

After a moment of silence, Siyeon spoke. "I'm just teasing by the way. You didn't move..." She said sleepily.

"Ha! I knew you're just playing around!" Bora exhaled and closed her eyes. She was finally at peace and could sleep. Siyeon shook her head slightly. She couldn't understand her at all.

In the middle of the night, Bora woke up to Siyeon clinging onto her. That border blanket was really of no use.

"Siyeon..." She whispered and got no response.

"Siyeonnn..." She gently placed her hand on the sleeping girl's arm only to have her snuggle closer.

_Oh my god..._

Bora stared at the darkness in the room unsure if she should just wake up the girl completely or just let her sleep and not disturb her. Other members were never this clingy, and tonight was only the second night.

She sighed and closed her eyes letting Siyeon be.

\--

Bora's alarm went off again. Her arm reached over to the nightstand and she snoozed it. She felt Siyeon's head on her chest move as she groaned by the sound of the alarm.

"You have the worst sound for your alarm, why don't you change it?"

"Why don't you get off me, let's start with that." Bora stared at the ceiling and tried to move, but couldn't.

"I'm comfy. Next question." Siyeon smiled and gripped Bora tighter by her waist not letting go. She nuzzled her head more under Bora's neck. She was comfortable and Bora smelled so good, there was no way in hell she would move.

"Siyeon, stop it. I swear I'll kick you off the bed, I'm not joking."

Siyeon straddled Bora and put her hands on the bed on each side of Bora's body to support herself. With only inches apart, they stared at each other letting tension gradually build-up to the point where it was getting too much.

"You're so annoying Bora." Siyeon sighed and got off her moving back to her side of the bed.

"At least I'm not that clingy." Bora said as she got quickly out of bed. She was glad to escape that tension. It was getting unbearable. 

"You're not clingy at all..." Siyeon frowned and already missed how that silk pyjamas felt against her face.

\--

"I feel so sick." Bora whined as she practiced some dance moves in the backstage.

Siyeon watched her panic and got off her seat. She grabbed her nervous hands and looked at her. Bora stopped moving and frowned looking up at Siyeon.

"Why are you so nervous? It's not like it's the first time we perform?"

Bora sighed and swayed their hands a bit. "I don't know... I often get a bit stage freight, plus it doesn't help that I've messed up, not once, but twice at the rehearsals for the new special choreo..."

Siyeon held her hands tighter stopping Bora from swaying them.

"I know my words won't help much, but you're our main dancer. You got this. I wouldn't even notice your mistakes at the rehearsals if you didn't point them out. You're that good that you're burdening yourself that everything needs to be perfect. I know you'll do amazing like always. Just look for me if you get nervous, okay?"

Siyeon's words got Bora red in the face. Their main vocal was usually hyping up the girls, but this speech felt a bit personal, a bit intimate. Bora just nodded quickly as she stared at their hands.

For a second, Siyeon's clinginess didn't feel as bad. It felt... good. 

She wanted to enjoy this moment a bit longer, but the stylist called Siyeon over for the clothes check. She gave Bora one quick smile and squeezed her hands one more time to give her strength. She let go and went over to the stylist. Bora looked down at her empty hands. A weird feeling got over her and she couldn't really put a finger on it what it was. Or she didn't want to. It wasn't that important. It was time for the concert anyway.

\--

On their way back to the hotel, Bora's mind kept repeating the concert. Particularly the scene before the new special dance they've prepared.

They got into position, lights turned off making the fans scream from excitement and Bora exhaled closing her eyes. She began feeling tense, but then Siyeon's hand found hers and squeezed it tightly. She remembered Siyeon whispering 'let's go, mom' which made her chuckle. She didn't make a single mistake all night. She smiled as she looked over at her roommate who was already asleep. She turned off the lights and reached over to hold Siyeon's hand. She whispered a soft 'thank you' and held onto that clingy hand the entire night.

\--

Siyeon woke up and the first thing that caught her attention was Bora's hand loosely holding hers. She began playing with them slowly. She doesn't remember actually taking her hand. She thought she must have done it in her sleep. She didn't think much of it and fell asleep again.

Their precious sleep was disturbed by Bora's phone ringing. That wasn't her alarm, this was the manager calling.

Waking up by the sound, she quickly picked it up. Since Bora removed her hand from Siyeon's, she slid her arm back under the duvet, confused by the sudden talking.

"Oh my god... yes we have, yes I'm so sorry, I forgot to turn on my alarm and we just slept through. Has everyone finished already or?" Bora looked at Siyeon who now realizing the situation sat up a bit. She ran her fingers through her hair and listened to the conversation.

"Okay, we'll do it like that, thank you! We apologize again."

Hanging up the phone, Bora sighed leaning her head back on the pillow. She was so overwhelmed with yesterday's concert that she completely forgot to turn on her alarm clock.

"They are already eating breakfast... She told me we could either hurry down or grab something later in the city, I said we will do the latter."

Siyeon nodded as she agreed with Bora. She was too tired to rush now.

"When are we going out?"

"In like an hour."

Hearing that, Siyeon pulled the duvet over her head. "Goodnight."

Bora shook her head in amusement. If you told Siyeon she only had 30 seconds to sleep, you best believe she would use every second. 

Dismissing her thoughts about Siyeon's sleeping habits, Bora put her hand under her chin and stared into space. She always had everything under control, why had Siyeon's simple gesture at the concert messed her so badly. It was just a hand squeeze and the mom joke, nothing special about it. But somehow, it felt deeper than just that.

She looked over again at Siyeon who moved the duvet in her sleep exposing her face again. The white duvet moved slowly up and down with every breath she took. It looked as if she was floating between the clouds in the sky. She looked so peaceful.

Bora was watching her as she leaned in closer wanting to kiss her before she pulled back quickly with horror in her eyes. She looked away biting her lip. She peeked again at Siyeon who was still asleep.

_What has gotten into me..._

\--

"Siyeon... Siyeon we'll be late because of you, wake up..." Bora shook her lightly and Siyeon whined pulling the duvet again over her head and turned away from Bora.

"Does mommy have to spank you?"

Siyeon laughed under the duvet when Bora started to hit her on the ass.

"Okay, okay! I'll get up!" Siyeon took off the duvet and sat up. She was shocked to see Bora in full outfit and makeup. Siyeon's eyes scanned her whole body up and down. She saw Bora's red lips move.

"Hello! Earth to Siyeon! Hurry up!" Bora tapped furiously with her finger on her wrist showing her invisible watch. Siyeon shook her head to stop staring and flew to the bathroom hitting her toe on the corner of the table. She was cursing and jumping in pain. Bora started clapping like a seal as she couldn't control her laughter.

\--

All seven girls went out to explore London. They have done some sightseeing, took lots of selfies and videos. Siyeon and Bora got their breakfast so they were happy, but they had to do a penalty for sleeping in. The other girls thought long and hard about it when Yubin just offered they would have to cuddle all night.

"Hey! That's a reward for Siyeon, not a penalty!" Bora whined pushing Yubin. Not too hard, but hard enough to express her annoyance.

"We already cuddle, so give us something else..." Siyeon had on a smug face seeing their shocked reaction and Bora looked down feeling the color red getting all over her face. Yoohyeon was silent before she came up with something good.

"How about... When we get to the Buckingham palace, you have to dance in front of those guards?"

"That's easy, let's do it!" Siyeon exclaimed, but once they got there, she realized what she actually agreed on.

"Cuddling doesn't seem so bad now huh?" Siyeon gulped looking over at Bora who was also hesitating. There was a crowd of people and no one bothered the guards like in those YouTube videos they saw.

"Fuck it." Bora grabbed Siyeon's hand and walked over to one guard. He was looking straight forward unamused at their presence. Bora started to dance funnily in front of him with Siyeon hiding her face in embarrassment. She later joined her and they were getting some faint laughs from the crowd while their members were filming them. When they thought it was enough, they quickly bowed down to apologize to the guard and ran away to their friends hiding away.

\--

"When are we leaving for Italy?" Siyeon asked coming out of the bathroom after a shower. She got into bed and pulled the duvet over her.

"Tomorrow at 10 am." Bora stretched and put her phone away to charge. She turned on the alarm clock this time. She wouldn't let it happen again.

"So, we get to sleep in a bit?" Siyeon raised her eyebrows hoping for the answer to be positive.

"Not really, since we need to get breakfast." Bora turned off all the lights in the room and got into bed as well. Siyeon groaned and rolled on her tummy.

"Hey, can we cuddle? I won't be too clingy, I promise."

"No. I'm tired..." Bora turned on her side away from Siyeon. 

"You don't want to cuddle just because you're tired or in general?" Siyeon teased and Bora smiled while trying to fall asleep.

"Take it however you want to."

Siyeon smiled and decided to leave it at that.

She started falling asleep when she felt Bora move on the bed. Siyeon turned on her back to see what was happening when Bora moved Siyeon's duvet up to get under it. She lied next to her putting her head on Siyeon's shoulder and arm on her tummy. Siyeon instantly moved her arm around Bora.

"This never happened, okay?" Bora breathed in Siyeon's vanilla shampoo scent making her even more sleepy.

"Of course." Siyeon grinned happily and held Bora close.

_Got you, at last._

\--

Milan, Berlin, Warsaw. The shows flew by so quickly it felt like they've skipped them. Now, it was time for Paris.

"You got lucky with the room in Warsaw, but now we share a bed again."

Siyeon winked and gave Bora finger guns. Bora rolled her eyes and shrugged. At this point, she couldn't care less. Siyeon was already clingy, but somehow, she didn't mind anymore. It felt nice to cuddle for once.

She leaned on the window frame and stared at the night lights and cars passing by. In the background, she could see the top of the Eiffel tower peeking through. All her life she wanted to visit it, but due to their lifestyle, it wasn't an option. 

"It's so beautiful here. Even from the airplane, the city looked breath-taking. I wish I had someone special so we could visit the Eiffel tower." Bora tapped the glass pointing to the biggest attraction in the whole of France.

"We could go." Siyeon said biting her lip. Bora put down her hand and turned around to face Siyeon who got flustered by her serious gaze and quickly tried to correct herself.

"I-I mean, you know, the group and the staff... We couldn't go last time, but they will probably take us this time... don't worry." She nervously smiled and Bora gave her back a small smile and turned to the window again. Siyeon hit herself gently on the head at her awkwardness.

"Yeah... I hope so."

\--

Waking up in the middle of the night, Siyeon felt cold and gripped the duvet closer to her and rolled on her side to look at her roommate. In the middle of the bed, there was no blanket border. Siyeon wondered why, because Bora was very strict about it. She kept staring at Bora wanting to scoot over like she did every night, but today's whole vibe was a bit weird. Especially the Eiffel tower talk. The way they looked at each other was... different.

Her thoughts slowly drifted away as she fell back asleep.

\--

Finishing the concert, they got into their ride back to the hotel. All the girls whined when the manager told them they couldn't visit the Eiffel tower tomorrow because they had an early flight to Amsterdam.

Siyeon watched Bora frown and slouch in her seat. She genuinely looked upset which broke Siyeon's heart. She turned her gaze away when her eyes suddenly widened as her brain thought of a crazy idea. She began biting her lip. She wasn't sure if Bora would go through with it. She would just ask her once they get to their room.

Bora unlocked the door and didn't talk at all. She took off her jacket and dropped it on the chair. She walked over to the window again staring out. Siyeon checked her phone for the time. She googled quickly the closing hours for the tower. She smiled when she realized they still have time.

"Um, Bora?" Siyeon walked a bit closer.

"Mhm?" She didn't turn around and just stared at the shining tower that kept calling her over.

"I have this crazy idea and for it to work you can't tell anyone."

Bora turned around intrigued by the sound of that. Siyeon smiled as she got Bora's full attention now.

"How about... you and I... sneak out right now and go visit the Eiffel tower?"

Bora stared at her and began to laugh. She soon stopped realizing Siyeon is serious about it. She left her jaw open a bit.

"Wait, you're actually serious... Wh-What if we get caught?"

Out of everything she could think of, she didn't think this would be Siyeon's crazy idea. And it sure was crazy. They already made the manager upset when they missed breakfast in London, if they get caught with this... Bora didn't want to know what would happen. 

"And what if we don't?" Siyeon crossed her arms. A mischievous smirk appeared on her face.

Bora bit her lip and hesitated. It would be terribly irresponsible and unfair to their whole team and the rest of the group.

"Well?" Siyeon raised her eyebrows. Bora looked at her then turned to look at the tower again.

"Let's do it."

Bora grabbed her jacket and they were soon out of the hotel catching a taxi.

"Eiffel tower! Ay fell tow ehh! Oui oui!" Siyeon told the taxi driver in her best French accent and Bora covered her mouth trying not to laugh at the face he made. The accent was awful.

The girls finally arrived after a crazy ride throughout the gorgeous city. When they walked over they just stared up the big tower.

"Woah..." Siyeon breathed and had her mouth open.

"From our room, it seemed so small." Bora added looking up.

Siyeon grabbed her hand and grinned. "Come on!"

\--

They were still holding hands when they were riding up the elevator. They stole glances at each other and just smiled from ear to ear. While the other girls and their whole crew were getting ready for bed, they were getting ready to be blown away by the night view of Paris.

They skipped the second floor and went to a different elevator that would take them to the very top.

Stepping out they were speechless as they slowly approached the fence. Bora covered her mouth as she looked around. 

All the night lights were sparkling back at them. The city seemed infinite.

Siyeon held onto the fence and she didn't dare to blink. She didn't want to miss a thing.

They took a lot of pictures and selfies capturing their happiness and every corner of the city.

"This is so beautiful, I can't believe I'm actually here!" Bora said while her eyes scanned the scenery.

Siyeon hugged the smaller girl from behind as she leaned her head on her shoulder. They stayed like that and decided to just enjoy the moment in silence. They couldn't hear other people around them, it was just them and the view. 

"I never knew it could be this way." Bora spoke after a while. "Thank you, Siyeon."

Siyeon was slowly running her thumb across Bora's hands and she held her close.

"I know you wanted to go with someone special... I feel like, maybe... I've ruined that for you, but I hope one day you could go with that someone again..."

The tone of Siyeon's voice was sincere as she spoke tenderly into Bora's ear, but there was a shade of sadness and melancholy in it. Bora stared at the night lights and her heart began speaking for her.

"What if I'm already here with that someone?"

Siyeon's little laugh tickled Bora's ear. "Oh, please, I'm not special."

Bora turned her head to the side to meet Siyeon's eyes. She put her hand gently on Siyeon's cheek.

"You are."

Leaning in, she kissed Siyeon on the lips softly. Siyeon's grip on Bora began to loosened at the sudden contact their lips made. Bora leaned back staring at the lips she just kissed before looking up into those dark eyes that were staring back at her. Siyeon was feeling all the emotions in the world. The autumn night suddenly wasn't so cold anymore.

She couldn't hold the gaze any longer so she looked down at the lips that were so inviting. Without further hesitation, she leaned in crashing her lips into Bora's. Bora turned her body and wrapped her arms around Siyeon's neck as they kissed passionately on the top of the Eiffel tower. In Paris, the city of love.

\--

Before having to catch their plane for Amsterdam, the girls ate breakfast in peace. No one talked, only the sound of cutlery could be heard. 

Bora was passing Siyeon a plate and Siyeon didn't miss the opportunity to brush her hand with her fingers. Bora smiled and looked away biting her lip. Siyeon stared at her with eyes full of affection before looking down at her food again. She smiled at the memories of last night. Once they've returned to the hotel, sleep wasn't on the menu. It was just them and the moonlight shining through the window, illuminating their bare bodies that moved together like one.

A whiny Gahyeon pulled Siyeon out of her thoughts as she complained that she couldn't take a good selfie with her phone.

"Siyeon, can I take yours? Your camera is better."

Siyeon shrugged and nodded. Gahyeon started taking a bunch of selfies changing poses each time. The girls rolled their eyes at her. The day just began and she was already taking selfies left and right.

She was checking them out as she kept swiping the gallery when she stumbled upon last night's pictures of the Eiffel tower and the girls' selfies.  
  
"WHAAAAAAAT!!! YOU AND BORA WENT TO THE EIFFEL TOWER WITHOUT US?!" Gahyeon's loud voice screeched across the whole breakfast hall making everyone's head turn to their table.

To this day, Siyeon believes the Eiffel tower itself heard her and curved a small smile at that fence at the top, where she became that special someone. 


	14. "I can't come back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 25, 2019   
> Warnings: none

"Siyeon, please just sit down and breathe, you'll be fine."

Yoohyeon watched her friend walk nervously up and down the living room. She was fidgeting her fingers and mumbling some incoherent words as if she was casting some sort of magical spell.

Yoohyeon sighed and rolled her eyes. "When are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know! Soon? Ah, I can't do this Yoohyeon, I'll fuck up everything, there's no way she feels the same, like what are the chances of that happening? Zero! I'm telling you! I'll just ruin our friendship..." Siyeon whined and shook her body like she was having a temper tantrum. She stopped when a pillow flew to her head.

"Hey! What was that for!" She leaned down to pick it off the floor and threw it back at the giggling girl on the couch.

"You're getting on my nerves! Just talk to her and you'll see that she feels the same. You're just being a big pussy at this point."

Siyeon was ready to argue back when she was interrupted by a new presence in the room.

"Who's being a big pussy?" The owner of the voice ran their fingers through their hair and went to the kitchen to grab an apple.

"B-Bora, hey... You're back..." Siyeon gulped and looked over at Yoohyeon with absolute horror in her eyes making the other girl awkwardly smile.

"Yeah, I just came back from the dance studio. Who are you two gossiping about?"

She took a bite out of the apple and sat next to Yoohyeon who sat up a bit due to the sudden situation. Bora looked at both of the girls confused.

"Why are you being so mysterious, are you talking about me?" She joked and gave them a wink. She got two nervous forced laughs as an answer.

"No! No, no, no... Not about you!" Yoohyeon answered still chuckling weirdly making Bora even more confused.

Siyeon couldn't look at Bora. She was so pale in the face; it matched the white wall behind her.

"You two are such weirdos, I swear..." Bora exhaled loudly giving up on them and turned on the tv. She leaned back on the couch and put her legs on it as well and ate her apple in peace while the two weirdos as she named them, didn't know how to act.

"So... You danced alone today?" Siyeon asked trying to change the topic. She turned her body to see the tv so she didn't have to look into Bora's eyes. She was definitely not ready. Not after she almost heard them.

She heard an "uh-uh" from Bora who couldn't answer as she was chewing her apple. "I was with Sooyeon."

Siyeon's head snapped from the tv screen to Bora.

"She's so so good. No wonder they hired her to be our choreographer."

"Y-Yeah..." Siyeon bit her lip and looked at Yoohyeon who looked up at her. They didn't need to talk. Their eyes said it all. They thought the same thing.

Bora had been spending way too much time with Sooyeon for Siyeon's liking. From day one, Bora and her became really close.

At first, it seemed normal. Bora was their best dancer. She was always the one closest to their choreographers. But with Sooyeon it was a bit different. Their interactions weren't friendly, at least from Siyeon's point of view. She thought she was just jealous, but lately the way they look at each other, the way they sometimes touch each other... It was just too much. It was one of the main reasons why Siyeon hesitated. Even though she was still close to Bora and nothing changed, with Sooyeon arriving, Siyeon's confidence was at its lowest point.

Siyeon blinked a few times looking away. She hated how easy it was for her tears to find her eyes.

"Um, I'm going to bed, see you tomorrow."

She left before Bora or Yoohyeon could say anything.

Getting into her bed she pulled her duvet over her head and pressed her face into her pillow hoping it would silence out her sobs. She didn't want to cry. She cried already so many times, she stopped counting. After a while, her phone screen lighted up and she wiped her tears away to check it.

[Yoohyeonn <3]  
 _Do you want me to come over? :(_

[Siyeon ^<^]  
 _I'm fine, you don't have to <3_

[Yoohyeonn <3]  
 _You sure? :/_

[Siyeon ^<^]  
 _Yes :)_

[Yoohyeonn <3]  
 _I don't believe you, but I'll let you be :/ <3  
It will be okay, maybe you're looking too deep into it?_

[Siyeon ^<^]  
 _I don't think so... At this point what can I do? Bora's way too into her. She only talks of her and how great she is. It's too obvious. I fucked up by being late. There's no way I'll ever confess._

[Yoohyeonn <3]  
 _Siyeon :(_

[Siyeon ^<^]  
 _Practice tomorrow will be fun... :/  
I'm going to sleep now, night Yoohyeon <3_

[Yoohyeonn <3]  
 _Stay strong :(  
Night night <3_

Siyeon wiped away her tears and put her phone away to charge. She turned on her back and closed her eyes.

She cursed at herself for waiting so long. She had this crush for as long as she could remember yet no confidence. Once she started getting close to confessing, something always popped up. Days passed and now it was probably too late.

With thoughts running a marathon through her head, she eventually got tired and fell asleep.

\--

Siyeon avoided eye contact with both Bora and Sooyeon ever since arriving at the studio. She could hear them laugh about something. With each laugh, her heart broke a bit more. She tried so hard to shut it out and talked to other members instead. Yoohyeon rubbed her back, but it didn't help much. She gave the taller girl a small smile.

"Okay, let's go over with what we have so far. We still need to finish the choreography." Sooyeon said as she stood in front and the girls got into position. Siyeon quickly glanced over at Bora who was grinning looking at the floor waiting for the cue to start. Siyeon looked away and didn't hear Sooyeon telling her that she needed to move more to the right.

"Sorry..." Siyeon muttered and did what was asked of her.

Bora looked over and their eyes met for the first time today. Siyeon could feel her heart skip when the other girl smiled at her. Her instant response was to smile back. It didn't mean much as Bora's eyes were already on Sooyeon again. Siyeon looked over at Yoohyeon who didn't dare to look back. She knew.

The music finally started and they practiced the new dance for a while. Sooyeon added a few new elements and removed some parts and Siyeon couldn't lie, she was extremely talented. As much as she was jealous, Sooyeon's feeling for dance was really special. No wonder Bora liked her so much.

Siyeon did her best to focus on the choreo but got caught zoned out or out of place multiple times.

"Siyeon, what's with you today? We have so much to go through yet we keep getting setbacks because you constantly fuck up."

Hearing that from Bora hurt. A lot.

As much as Bora was a carefree, crazy person, she took her dancing very seriously. Whenever they learn something new, she would go into this zone and wouldn't even realize what she was saying. It often caused petty arguments.

"I'm sorry... I'm just out of it..." Siyeon tried to explain and looked down at her feet. Minji suggested they take a short break. More for Bora than for others. She needs to cool down.

\--

The rest of the practice went by well. Bora didn't complain much and Siyeon's focus was better. She still messed up a few times, but it wasn't as frequent as before. She was glad once it was all over.

They picked their stuff up and went out of the studio. Siyeon being the first one to leave, Bora, of course, said she would stay.

Siyeon was almost out of the company when she realized she forgot her phone at the table. She jogged back and opened the door.

"Hey have-"

She stopped as soon as she saw the scene in the studio. Parting their lips, Bora's and Sooyeon's eyes were opened wide as they stared back at the girl who never wanted to witness this scene.

"Siyeon..." Bora began but didn't know how to finish.

Siyeon ran away as quickly as she could. She didn't care for her phone anymore. She hated herself for going back for it. She didn't have to see that. She knew it. She knew she was too late. She knew she had been giving herself false hope.

She knew everything as she ran through the streets with tears streaming down her face, bumping into people and pushing them to get away. Get away as far as possible.

She kept running and running until her already tired legs gave up on her and she sat down on the sidewalk in some empty neighborhood. Trying to catch her breath she stared down with hands in her hair. Dark dots were appearing one by one on the ground as she helplessly cried feeling the heartache growing in her chest.

\--

"What are we going to do?! I told you we'd get caught eventually..." Sooyeon sighed and put her hands on her head intertwining her fingers.

"It's okay, it's only Siyeon, she won't say anything, I'm sure of it." Bora walked around not sure if she believed her words.

The two girls didn't talk when they heard a phone buzz. Bora walked over and noticed it was Siyeon's phone. She glanced over the screen and furrowed her eyebrows.

[Yoohyeonn <3]  
 _Hey where are you? :/  
Did you talk to Bora about it?_

Bora bit her lip and picked up the phone. She knew Siyeon's password and wanted to know what was all of this about even though she knew what she was doing was wrong.

She scrolled up the conversation and dropped her jaw as her brain slowly pieced everything together.  
  
"You alright?" Sooyeon started walking over and Bora quickly exited the texts and put the phone back down. She turned to Sooyeon and nodded.

She couldn't help but have guilt written all over her face. She feels like maybe she led Siyeon on with her actions. She was like that with other members as well, just platonic, but somehow Siyeon fell for her.

"We'll solve this okay?" Sooyeon said. Bora nodded and pulled her closer by her waist for a kiss.

\--

Hearing the dorm door open, Yoohyeon ran out of her room but frowned upon seeing the person.

"You expected Siyeon right?" Bora looked up and put her shoes aside.

"You know where she is?" Yoohyeon asked with hope in her voice.

"No. I... haven't seen her since she left the studio." Bora thought that the best thing would be to just play dumb for now. She had to talk to Siyeon first.

"Oh... She's not answering my texts and I'm kinda getting worried."

Both girls went to their rooms and Bora sat on her bed. She exhaled louder than she intended. It almost sounded like a groan which took Yoohyeon by surprise.

"It's not the first time she disappears, she's probably out and about doing something..." Bora looked away knowing she was just talking crap at this point. The way Siyeon ran out and those text messages showed she was not fine. She was hurting somewhere and there was no way of contacting her. They would have to wait until she would come back on her own.

\--

Without making a sound, Siyeon tried to be extra quiet when she opened the door to their dorm. It was late at night and most members were probably asleep. She didn't want to wake them up but also didn't want to get unnecessary attention for her disappearance.

She turned around to carefully close the door and cursed quietly when there was a little creek. She turned around to start walking when a hand pressed hard on her mouth preventing her from screaming, but still making her jump.

"Can we talk?"

Siyeon's wide eyes stared at Bora and she just slowly nodded. Bora dropped her hand and they went outside.

\--

Sitting down on a bench nearby, the two girls stared into the streets and buried their hands further into their jackets as the night was getting colder. Cars were passing by and not many people were outside. A street lamp near the bench was flickering every few seconds making the atmosphere even more unsettling.

"We'll probably freeze here..." Bora started the small talk and Siyeon hummed and didn't look up.

Bora sighed. "Siyeon... I know."

The younger girl looked over to see Bora holding her phone.

"You got a text from Yooh and it caught my eye and... I kinda went through your texts..."

Siyeon snatched her phone away from Bora making her flinch.

"What the fuck, Bora?! That's an invasion of privacy." She sighed and leaned back on the bench. She was too scared to admit her feelings, but this had to be the worst way for Bora to find out.

"I'm sorry, okay... I couldn't control myself; I saw my name in the text and just had to know. I didn't expect you... Well, you know..." Bora bit her lip and watched Siyeon's expression remain the same.

"What? That I like you? That I'm probably in love with you? That I've been scared to admit it for years? That I didn't want to ruin everything? That I cried myself to sleep so many nights because you weren't mine? That I died each time you mentioned Sooyeon? That my heart completely broke when I saw you kiss today?"

Siyeon sighed and closed her eyes. There were no tears left. She left them all in that neighborhood. People living there would probably think it rained in the afternoon.

She looked over at Bora who didn't know what to say to all of that.

"You know, some days were so great... I actually thought I have a chance with you..." A chuckle left Siyeon's mouth as she shook her head. She didn't find any of this amusing. The hole in her chest was too big and she felt tired of it all. She just wanted to forget all of it. She wanted to forget she even liked Bora in the first place.

"Siyeon, I don't know what to say... I'm sorry you had to see us like that. I love you with all my heart, really, but-"

"...but not in that way." Siyeon finished the sentence for her. She gave Bora a small smile that was filled with sadness. The guilt building up in Bora's stomach was slowly eating her alive. Siyeon broke eye contact and stared into the distance.

"I can't come back." She began. "I don't think I can look at you two together and not feel a thing. I need some time. I'll tell the manager I'm sick or something..."

"I'm really sorry Siyeon... I hope one day, you and I can be back to normal."

The flickering of the street lamp stopped completely. They let that sentence dissolve into the newly formed darkness that surrounded them.

"I hope so too." 


	15. "That's what I'm talking about!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 25, 2019   
> Warnings: smut, sexual scenes/thoughts

Supporting herself with her elbows, Siyeon was lying on her tummy in her messy bed. She tucked a hairpiece behind her ear and watched some YouTube videos. She particularly liked to stalk their own videos to see what the international fans would comment. She didn't always understand what they were saying, but nevertheless, it was good fun. 

Minding her own business, she watched some new videos by her favorite groups when she suddenly felt someone getting on top of her and sitting on her ass. She didn't need to think twice about it. A smile broke on her lips as she continued to watch the video.

"Bora, baby, is this how you say hi now?" She asked and felt more weight press on her back as Bora leaned down and put her chin on Siyeon's right shoulder.

"What are you watching?" Bora glanced down at the screen, but it didn't really seem interesting enough, so she just started to kiss Siyeon's ear, the side of her head, her shoulder, whatever she could find.

"You know that band I told you about? Well, they just had a comeback and it's so good, I'm in love." Siyeon sighed as she watched the video and bobbed her head to the rock music that was blasting out of the phone speakers.

"Stop..." She giggled and tilted her head to the side when Bora started to gently nibble on her ear. She grinned and gently kissed the spot under Siyeon's ear.

"Guess who's off their period..." Bora whispered into her ear while she continued placing kisses down her neck. Siyeon didn't need to look at her to know that she was smirking, she could hear it in her voice. She smiled and clicked on another video to watch acting unbothered about Bora's question.

"Ohh, let me think, hmm... you?"

She heard a soft 'mhm' in her other ear as Bora moved to the left side of her head. She started to suck on the neck that was open to take while her hands became too eager and moved into Siyeon's shirt reaching her chest slowly.

"Do I need to guess who's horny as well?" Siyeon smirked as she scrolled down her phone reading the comments. Bora smiled into Siyeon's ear and cupped her breasts with her naughty hands.

"That bra is in the way..."

She pressed her hips harder against Siyeon's ass and continued kissing the side of Siyeon's head.

"If only there was a way to get rid of it..." Siyeon teased her which immediately got Bora into action as she sat up a bit. 

She slid her hands around and unclipped her bra swiftly. She ran her hands down Siyeon's back feeling the soft skin on her fingertips. It felt like she was about to give a massage to the girl below her.

She started leaning back down on Siyeon's body and slid her hands down into her shirt until they found what they were looking for. This time, Bora squeezed them harder making Siyeon exhale a bit too loud for her liking. It wasn't her plan to get aroused so easily, but here she was. She had missed how Bora's hands felt on her body. So, without wasting more time, she placed her phone on her pillow and she quickly pulled her bra straps over her arms and finally pulled the whole bra out of her shirt tossing it aside. It wasn't meant to be this way, but she couldn't help it when it comes to her girlfriend. 

Bora smirked at her now full granted freedom and she began to squeeze her breasts again while kissing the skin on the side of her head. Siyeon kept her focus on the video that was playing, but when Bora's fingers started to play with her nipples while her hips were slowly grinding against her ass and her quiet moans were tickling her ear, her focus was easily thrown out the window. Her mind was starting to get dizzy as she couldn't remember what she just watched the last few seconds of. Rewinding the video a few times didn't help at all and she knew it was pointless at this point. She exited the app in one tap and put her phone aside. 

"Let me turn around." It was a faint whisper that escaped her mouth.

Bora slid her hands out of Siyeon's shirt and kneeled up letting Siyeon turn around to face her. She leaned up supporting herself on her hands. Bora straddled her and wrapped her arms around her neck. Their faces were only inches apart as they stared at each other's lips and Bora leaned in closer, but not enough to kiss the lips in front of hers.

Siyeon licked her lips and leaned in only to have Bora back away. She smiled watching Bora's lips form her familiar smirk. The smirking lips leaned back in again slowly parting and brushing against Siyeon's before pulling back again. They kept teasing each other with small touches before finally connecting their lips into a deep kiss. Siyeon placed her hands on Bora's back pulling her closer making her body press against her chest as their heads moved together reconnecting their lips again and again.

Siyeon's hands gripped Bora's shirt as they made out and she wanted it gone. Pulling away from the kiss, arching her back Bora took it off. Siyeon's eyes immediately stuck to her busty features that were hiding in her bra. She pulled Bora closer kissing down her neck to her chest as her hands slid up her back removing her bra. She cupped her breasts and started flicking her tongue over her nipple before taking it into her mouth to suck on it, making Bora close her eyes and drop her head back letting out a small moan.

Bora looked back down to watch her nipples get hard with the way Siyeon's lips and tongue worked on them like they were candy. Siyeon pulled away and without having to talk, Bora helped her take off her shirt leaving her chest exposed as well. Their eyes met again staring intensely at each other before crashing their lips together and falling on the bed.

Siyeon opened her legs letting Bora's body come in between them. She felt her temperature rising when Bora's tummy pressed on her core that was just waiting for a touch. She shut her eyes when Bora started working on her neck down to her nipples. They didn't have sex in a week and it felt like months. If they could, they would do it all day, every day. Both were so needy when it came to it and they couldn't resist each other. 

And while Siyeon was lost in her thoughts about their sex life, Bora was making her way down her body. She was slowly kissing down her tummy stealing glances at Siyeon who was carefully watching her biting her lip excited for more. Bora gripped her shorts making the girl below raise her hips so she could slide them off.

Getting them off her legs, Bora leaned down and got her head in between Siyeon's legs. With only a thin layer of cloth separating her from Siyeon's core, Bora leaned in and started pulling the underwear with her teeth while looking directly into Siyeon's eyes. It was driving her insane. No, Bora was driving her insane. 

She let go and started to suck on her underwear making Siyeon let out a gasp as she felt her lips touch her clit through the cloth. With her fingers, Bora pulled the piece of cloth that was covering Siyeon and stared at her wet folds as she pulled them apart granting a soft moan from Siyeon. Bora licked her lips and was ready to dive in. 

"Jesus Christ!" Minji yelled covering her eyes and turning her body away. The girls got startled and Siyeon quickly sat up and pulled her sheet to cover herself.

"Minji, what the fuck!" Bora screamed at her. She placed her hands over her bare chest. Minji put her hand down when she thought it was safe and looked at them annoyed.

"Out of all the places on this planet, you decide to do it here..." She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes sighing.

"Where the fuck are we supposed to go! This is like the fifth time you've done this! I fucking hate you!" Bora stared at her pissed off and Siyeon ran her fingers through her hair a few times. Just when she got in the perfect mood, it had to get ruined. Of course.

She dropped her hand on the duvet and exhaled loudly.

"Bora, sweetie, ask me if I fucking care." Minji snapped back and the two of them were strangling each other in their heads.

"Okay, enough you two..." Siyeon sat up more still holding the bedsheet. "Do you want something from us or you came in to watch?" Siyeon looked over and Minji snapped her head giving her a death glare making the younger girl stick out her tongue.

"I was looking for you to inform your horny asses that we have to go to the dance studio, in like ten minutes."

Bora furrowed her eyebrows at her answer. If you woke her up at 3 am, she would be able to tell you the dance schedule for the next two months.

Minji saw her confused expression so she followed up, "A yoga class. They scheduled it like two days ago, you weren't here so I guess no one remembered to tell you..." Minji looked at Siyeon when she said the last part.

Siyeon groaned and flopped back on her bed. Bora raised her eyebrows and was even more confused. A yoga class? Did she hear that right? She looked over at Siyeon who exhaled loudly in frustration.

"I totally forgot about that... I thought that was for next week."

"Well, it's today. Hurry up. As I said, we're leaving right now." Minji looked at them both once again before leaving. Bora watched her go and let herself drop on Siyeon.

"I literally want to kill her." Bora whined into the sheet making Siyeon sigh again.

"Tell me about it..."

They stayed like that for a minute before Bora looked up and stared back and forth between Siyeon's eyes and lips. "I guess you better wear something hot."

Siyeon smirked and nodded kissing her softly. Bora straddled her again and they began making out again intensely. They would have forgotten about having to leave if it wasn't for Minji reminding them again.

"Bora and Siyeon, last warning!" They heard their leader yell from outside of the room. Bora bit Siyeon's bottom lip and started pulling it slowly as they stared at each other. She let go of it and cupped her cheeks.

"This isn't over, okay?"

Siyeon grinned and kissed her quickly once again before Minji had to physically drag them out.

\-- 

Arriving at the dance studio, Bora was talking to Minji and they bickered about what happened back at the dorm when Siyeon walked in. She wore a black backless and sleeveless vest over her black sports bra that was peeking through. Her legs and ass were shaped beautifully by a pair of black yoga pants. Bora stopped arguing with Minji and watched Siyeon walk past her with a grin on her face. 

"That's what I'm talking about!" Bora yelled and spanked her ass leaving Siyeon to laugh and put her hands on her ass to cover it.

"You don't look too bad yourself..." Siyeon smirked as she checked out Bora who matched with her with a black crop top and black shorts. Siyeon could never get enough of that sight. Bora and shorts go together like bread and butter. Her body was out of this world and only for Siyeon to take. 

They were undressing each other with their eyes and the sexual tension was rising again.

"I hope you two don't start humping each other in front of everyone..." Minji sighed as she watched them.

"It would be great if it's only humping, I want to eat her out like right now." Bora winked at Minji who groaned in disgust turning to Siyeon who licked her lips seductively at Minji only making her screech and hit her shoulder.

The two were too busy messing with Minji as they didn't notice the yoga teacher walk in with their staff. All girls stared at a man in his early thirties smiling at them. He started explaining why he was here and what was yoga all about. 

He was tall and his muscles flexed a bit in his sleeveless top. He had a well-defined jawline with a bit of stubble that suited him well. Even though not interested at all, Bora admitted he was very handsome. She looked over at Gahyeon who was also blatantly checking him out. Bora grinned and got noticed by the younger girl who blushed immediately as she looked away.

"You can take a mat and we can begin."

The man spoke and the girls got ready as their staff left them alone. Siyeon put her mat in front of Bora's and turned around to see her face. She knew what she was doing and she was doing it well.

"Oh hell no." Bora whispered as she looked at the tight yoga pants in front of her. Siyeon winked and turned back around wiggling her ass. Bora stepped closer putting her hand around Siyeon's ear.

"Lee Siyeon, keep playing your game. I pray for your body once I get my hands on it." Bora whispered and moved back to her mat. Siyeon shivered at that last sentence and watched her arm get goosebumps. She wanted Bora all over her. Without anyone disturbing them. She would definitely continue to play dirty

At first, Bora thought it wasn't so bad, but then they started doing cat and cow poses and it drove her mad. Siyeon's back was slowly rounding and arching as she switched between these two poses. Bora bit her lip as she noticed that Siyeon's ass was within hands reach. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on her breathing.

It would've been fine if the teacher didn't come over to Siyeon and placed his hands on her lower back instructing her how to do the pose better. Bora was glaring back and forth between his hands and his face.

_Does he have a death wish?_

She raised her eyebrows at the scene and heard Gahyeon giggle. She looked at her and shot her a glare that could kill. She also felt Minji's eyes on her as the girls were obviously very amused by Bora's jealousy. And Siyeon, being the dirty player she was, played dumb and asked more questions only for him to touch her more.

"Okaaay, next position please." Bora said as she sat up. At this point, she was fuming. She kept staring at him hoping he backs away, but he was oblivious to the whole thing.

He looked over at her and smiled. "What, got tired of this one?" He asked innocently thinking Bora is just complaining about the pose.

"Mhm." Bora hummed trying not to sound too annoyed and Minji snorted as she covered her mouth trying not to laugh at the situation. Siyeon turned her head to look at her angry girlfriend. Bora met her evil grin that made her clench her teeth. 

"You're so dead." She mouthed and made Siyeon wink. She sent her a kiss before turning her head back to the front. 

Next was the downward dog position. Bora wondered how much longer she had to suffer since Siyeon's ass was in the air and she could see the outline of her core peeking through her tight pants begging Bora to touch it. Bora sighed and lowered her head.

"Lesbian Jesus, I need you now more than ever..." Bora whispered as quietly as she could, but Siyeon let out a wheeze. Bora couldn't help but grin when she heard her. She tried to focus on her breathing and held the position until the teacher showed them the next one. 

\--

"Now we'll do some poses in pairs to make it fun for you girls." As he said that, Bora's head snapped towards him and her eyes instantly sparkled. Her sparkle was soon gone when he started pointing the pairs and ended up pairing Bora with Gahyeon, which left Siyeon alone since the group didn't have an even number of members.

"Okay and I'll do it with Siyeon over there."

And with that, Bora saw red. 

"No." 

Everyone's eyes were on her now. She put her hand on Siyeon's leg as a way of telling him to back off. She had enough of it. She didn't know if he figured them out so he was doing it on purpose or if he actually liked Siyeon, which made Bora even angrier or if he was just pure and innocent and had no harmful intentions.

Yes, he helped each girl out, even Bora, but either way, she didn't care for his reasoning. This was Siyeon they're talking about, her girlfriend. There was no way in hell he was touching her again. Especially not do yoga poses with her right in front of Bora's eyes. 

"Gahyeon can do it with you."

The younger girl gulped and got red in the face hearing that. She knew Bora would kill her if she didn't go with it so she just stayed quiet. The teacher was a bit confused by Bora's change of partners, but he nodded.

"Okay, we'll do it like that then."

"That's what I thought." Bora muttered and Siyeon elbowed her as it was loud enough for him to hear it. If he did, he kept on a poker face. Bora didn't care, she was happy to have him gone. He showed them the first position. It was a seated position with their backs pressed together.

"You're so possessive baby, it's kinda hot." Siyeon whispered and smiled with her eyes closed.

Bora didn't reply. She had her eyes shut and focused on calming herself down. She knew she was possessive over Siyeon, sometimes even to the point where it became too much, but that back then was really the last straw. She also liked getting what she wanted. Siyeon always said it was her Leo trait coming through.

Following his next instructions, they stayed in that position, but with Bora pulling Siyeon's arms as she leaned on Bora's back. 

"Ah, this feels good..." Siyeon exhaled as she stayed in that position for a while. It was Bora's turn and now she was being pulled by Siyeon. She leaned on Siyeon's back and shut her eyes.

"I'll make you feel even better once we're done with this crap." Bora whispered and licked her lips. She couldn't wait to finish what they started in Siyeon's room. This yoga class wasn't relaxing at all. It was a torture chamber she badly wanted to get out of. 

They did more poses and Bora absolutely had no shame in glancing over between Siyeon's legs when their legs were spread out together. They were pulling each other's forearms feeling their muscles being stretched out. Bora's eyes were so glued to her girlfriend's tight pants that Siyeon started digging her nails into Bora's forearms to get her attention.

Her eyes moved up to meet Siyeon's upon feeling those long nails trying to tear her skin. There was silence in the studio as everyone focused on their form and breathing. Siyeon thought it would be better to spare them some sanity so instead of whispering, she started mouthing her messag.

"My eyes are up here."

Bora gave her a smirk as she quickly checked her out again. She licked her lips and looked at her spread out legs.

"I hope you're this flexible later as well."

Her lips moved slowly as she mouthed each word to Siyeon who answered her by spreading her legs even wider while she stared into Bora's eyes.

Bora looked down again at her legs before staring back into Siyeon's eyes. They were seductively calling her over. There was something so erotic in her gaze, Bora was ready to risk it all right here, right now. She couldn't take it any longer. Her core was pulsing and she felt herself get wetter each minute.

She had been imagining fucking Siyeon for the past hour of this stupid yoga class. Watching her nipples get hard as she sucked on them. Making her moan hard as her fingers would thrust deep inside of her while she licked her sensitive clit. The way she would grip her hair and push her closer to her core until she filled her mouth, over and over again.

Dirty thoughts were stumbling against each other in Bora's head making her feel light-headed. She wondered if Siyeon felt the same as she broke the intense eye contact and looked down in between Siyeon's legs.

"Impatient?" Siyeon whispered grinning.

"Very." Bora whispered back and exhaled changing positions.

Siyeon had fun in teasing and making fun of Bora, but she herself was on edge as well. She was nibbling on her lip. This was the longest yoga class ever. 

So, when the girls heard the teacher tell them that they're done, both almost shrieked out of happiness making each other laugh. The others looked over and Minji shook her head knowing what was behind all of it.

The teacher joked about how those two didn't seem to like yoga. He talked more, but Siyeon and Bora weren't listening anymore. They were with their thoughts elsewhere. Elsewhere being somewhere naked moaning each other's names. 

\--

Finally, being out of the studio, Bora was pulling on Siyeon's hand impatiently as they jogged through the company.

"Bora where are we going? Are you really thinking about doing it here?" Siyeon talked quietly and looked around. There was no way they would have sex in the company's building. Bora wasn't that stupid. Right?

"Don't worry, I know the perfect place." Bora grinned and stopped by the elevator. They got in and Bora wanted to do all sorts of things to Siyeon before she stopped her.

"The cameras..."

Bora moved back to a corner and sighed. "Fucking hell."

She was staring at the number as they moved up on the floors.

"Where are we going, seriously now?" Siyeon asked and looked at the number then at Bora.

"You'll see." Bora smiled and didn't want to reveal the spot she thought of back at the yoga class. It was perfect for the... occasion.

As the elevator stopped, Bora took her hand again and walked over to a door. Siyeon's jaw dropped a bit.

"Are you serious..."

Siyeon was staring at the door that was leading to a vocal practice room. Precisely, a vocal booth. That was soundproof. 

"You can scream as much as you want baby!" Bora grinned grabbing her top and pulling her in. Siyeon was laughing into Bora's lips as they kissed and locked the door behind them.


	16. "Listen. No, really listen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: October 29, 2019   
> Warnings: drug usage, sexual scenes, violence

Locking the bathroom door behind her, Siyeon quickly pulled the small bag out of her pocket. She lifted the bag to her eyes and grinned while she twirled it around in her fingers to take a better look.

A small see-through bag with a ziplock at the top containing exactly one gram of the white powder was grinning back at her. At least it did so in her head.

With her body pressed against the sink, she slowly unzipped the top of the bag and started to carefully tap the content of the bag on her fist, making sure nothing slips off. She watched the powder fall onto her hand and stopped when she thought it was enough.

She put the bag carefully on the sink and with that same hand pressed her finger against her nostril and gently snorted in the powder through her other nostril.

Don't snort too hard or you will waste it. That's what they told her. 

Leaning her head back, she sniffed a few times. She rubbed her nose as she checked herself out in the mirror. She ran her fingers through her hair and stared again at her nose. Clean.

She picked up the bag off the sink and zipped it back. Staring at the remaining powder she grinned again knowing she had more for later. Putting the bag into her pocket, she washed her hands and went out of the bathroom to meet her members in the backstage.

The numbness was slowly taking over her face and she began feeling euphoric. That dopamine rush was kicking in.

Walking over to the dressing room, she felt like she was on a runway show. Her walk was confident. She held her head high as walked with long strides through the hallway. 

Stopping by a big mirror she looked at the person staring back at her with dilated pupils. What a hottie. She send herself a kiss and walked on. She felt alive. It was just what she needed for the concert. Her high will last around an hour, but it was not a problem. She would just leave for the toilets again and do one more line. It wouldn't be the first time. 

"Finally, you're back. What's with your bladder lately or do you need to do the number two before a show?" Bora nudged her as she walked in.

Her hair was in a high ponytail and her makeup was done. Siyeon thought she looked stunning. She grabbed her face and gave her a kiss on the lips. The two girls didn't usually kiss in front of the staff, so Bora got a bit shocked, but still smiled at her girlfriend.

"Siyeon, don't ruin her makeup!" One of the makeup artists complained and Siyeon rolled her eyes and started to dance. 

"Do you hear how they are calling for my name?" Siyeon put her fist up and started to chant her name over and over again.

"Who? You mean the fans? They are still outside... How can you hear them?" Gahyeon looked at her confused as she was putting on her outfit.

Siyeon couldn't answer her as she was long gone. The effects were really kicking in and she couldn't wait to get on that stage in front of thousands of fans. Literally thousands. As Minji would say, they made it. They finally made it big and were doing stadium tours across the whole world.

One thing lead to another, fame got too much and cocaine was the answer. Siyeon had been doing it for a week now. Ever since she visited her family back in her hometown, her cousin introduced her to a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a dealer in Seoul. She just wanted to try it out. Feel that Hollywood rock star lifestyle. Before she knew it, she got addicted. Who wouldn't? That sweet, moist powder filling her nostrils giving her the most exhilarating feeling ever. She could feel it on her throat as well. That taste was out of this world. She wanted more and more. She was intoxicated by that poison. 

So, as soon as they were lifted by the stage elevator, hearing the sea of fans scream, Siyeon was on cloud nine. She had the most energy out of everyone, she was interacting with fans, everything was perfect. Going to the bathroom once more, she had to redose when she felt the effects going away. The night was perfect and she wished she could be in that state forever.

\--

Coming to their hotel after the last concert of the tour, the girls were sleepy, but Siyeon felt like she could perform the whole night. Every time she did cocaine, she could barely fall asleep. She was supposed to drink water, but right now she could only think of having sex, which on cocaine was a whole different experience. It felt more intense, she could last longer, it was also more pleasurable. Bora was often down for it, so Siyeon shoot her shot.

"Bora, come on, let's fuck." She was giggling and shaking her girlfriend's shoulder who was trying to fall asleep after the two-hour performance.

"No, I'm tired, let's just sleep..." Bora turned around letting Siyeon's hand drop off her shoulder. Siyeon got on top of her and started to kiss her and suck on her neck.

"I'm sooo horny. Pleaseee babeeee..." Siyeon giggled and licked her cheek up making Bora groan and turn around again.

"You have your hand, goodnight."

Siyeon groaned and rolled off her. Putting her hand between her legs, she couldn't remember how many times she came before finally falling asleep. 

\--

As much as a cocaine high was fun, the low was absolutely awful. Her dealer told her ways to ease the comedown, but she didn't always follow those steps, only making it harder for her to deal with it. 

Now waking up, Siyeon felt anxious already. She just wanted to do a quick line. Bora was clinging onto her still asleep and Siyeon just pushed her off her so she could get up.

Bora immediately woke up and watched her girlfriend leave the bed for the toilet. Bora felt confused, hurt, annoyed. She had noticed that Siyeon had been acting way too weird these last few days. This wasn't the first time she pushed her away after waking up. They would usually cuddle and not want to leave the bed, but this new Siyeon was like a whole different person. The sudden sex drive, going to the bathroom too often, the aggression towards everyone, the craziness at concerts. She didn't confront her about it because she felt she was overthinking it. She couldn't put a finger on what exactly it was. She tried to ignore it, but her gut feeling was telling her to keep an eye out. 

Siyeon locked herself in the bathroom and quickly found the bag she hid last night. When you were doing drugs and didn't want people to find out, you needed to think of the best possible hiding spot. The small bathroom trash can was perfect for just that.

She crouched down and stuck her hand in it and grabbed the bag as soon as it touched her fingers. Her nose was already a bit clogged, but she would do a line anyway.

Just when she was putting it on her fist like she always did, Bora's knocking on the door made her jump up and drop her bag in the sink. 

"Shit shit shit!" She muttered and started to panic as Bora kept on knocking. She desperately wanted to pick up the powder that was now all over the sink but with no luck. The sink was the same color as her early breakfast and Bora wasn't giving up which only made her more agitated.

"Siyeon, are you okay? What are you doing?"

"I'm fineee! Just a second!"

Siyeon dropped the empty bag in the toilet and flushed it. With water, she rinsed out the sink and quickly snorted in what remained of the powder on her hand. She instantly felt better. Like she didn't just let a line or two go to complete waste. 

She checked everything again and unlocked the door. Opening the door, she walked out without looking at Bora, but she felt her eyes tracking her every move. Siyeon was already in her own world as she began to dress herself. 

"We'll eat breakfast here, what do you want to eat?" Bora asked as she leaned on the bathroom's door frame.

"Oh, I'm not hungry at all. I won't eat." Siyeon put on her shirt and put on some music.

"You sure? You last ate in the afternoon yesterday..."

Siyeon nodded and didn't look at her at all.

Bora watched her for a while longer before she entered the bathroom and quietly closed the door behind her.

\--

Siyeon's worst few hours began at the flight back home. She didn't have any more cocaine left on her. She did it for their whole tour and now when they come back to Seoul, she would have to meet up with her dealer for more. 

Two hours of flying felt to Siyeon like twenty. She couldn't sit still; she was restless and irritated. Yoohyeon asked her something only for her to snap at her and make the younger girl flinch and say 'sorry' quickly. Siyeon didn't want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to get home and meet her dealer as soon as possible. She realized this thing was slowly getting out of hand, but she didn't care as long as she could still do it with no one knowing. 

She was minding her own business trying to calm down when Yoohyeon gasped.

"Siyeon, your nose is bleeding!" 

Siyeon tapped her nose gently and looked at her fingers that were now bloody. She got off her seat and walked to the bathroom. Unfortunately for her, Bora saw everything and followed her quickly entering the bathroom before she could lock the door.

"Hey, what- Oh, it's you..." Siyeon looked at Bora through the mirror as she pulled another piece of tissue from the dispenser and held it under her nose.

"Let me see."

Siyeon lowered her hand and Bora looked at her nose, but couldn't really see anything besides the blood coming out.

"Since when do you get nosebleeds?" Bora moved her eyes up to meet Siyeon's. Siyeon looked away and tapped her nose again and looked at the fresh blood. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Must be the airplane and just tiredness."

Bora furrowed her eyebrows at her explanation but left it at that.

"Did you eat anything here?"

Siyeon nodded and dropped the tissues in the trash can. Bora stared at her and their eyes met again. Siyeon took a step to leave, but Bora stopped her holding her arm.

"What?" Siyeon stared at her annoyed.

"Siyeon, I'm worried. You're acting so weird, don't you see?"

Siyeon chuckled and put her hands on Bora's shoulders.

"Babe, it's literally a nosebleed. It isn't a big deal."

"It isn't just that. You're different..." Bora looked at her up and down before looking into her eyes and noticed they weren't so dilated as always. Siyeon sighed and let her hands drop off Bora's shoulders.

"You're crazy."

Siyeon went out and left Bora alone with her thoughts.

\--

In the van to back to the dorms, Bora noticed Siyeon was texting someone. Usually, she didn't care, who could it possibly be besides her friends and family. There was no reason for jealousy, but with the way Siyeon's been acting, her back and forth texting with someone made Bora feel uneasy.

She tried to peek over her shoulder, but Siyeon quickly placed her phone on her tummy. Bora bit her lip and sat back in her seat. Crazy thoughts were slowly creeping into her mind.

Could it be that Siyeon was actually cheating? That would explain some of her behavior, but not all of it. No, she acted way too weird for her just to be cheating... right? Bora felt something sink in her chest. An overwhelming feeling that made her neck hot. She stared out the window and blinked a few times trying to control the tears that were forming in her eyes.

\--

Siyeon was dressing herself to go out. She agreed to meet her dealer tonight. At first, he didn't want to, but then she reminded him how much she paid him and who she was. She could ruin him in a few minutes. He didn't have much of a choice. 

"You're going out?"

Bora caught her in the hallway. Siyeon had her hand on the door knob and closed her eyes once she heard Bora's voice. She just wouldn't leave her alone. She turned around to meet her eyes. 

"Yeah, for a quick walk, I'll be back soon."

She opened the door, but Bora's voice stopped her again.

"Can I come with you? We could go on a date or something?"

Siyeon felt distressed again. She didn't know how to get rid of her. Bora kept bugging into her business and it was making her angry.

"Next time, I'd like to be alone."

She quickly walked out before Bora could say anything else. Again, Bora was left to be alone.

She was staring at the door and looked down at her boots. Without much thinking, she quickly put them on. She grabbed her jacket and ran out the door.

\--

"Where the hell is she going..." Bora muttered to herself as Siyeon walked faster and turned corners quickly.

Bora pulled up her hood and she kept her distance so her girlfriend wouldn't notice anything. Siyeon walked into a creepy alleyway which made Bora's skin shiver. Meeting a lover in here was a bit of a reach, right? If she wasn't cheating on her, what in the world was she doing?

She had to quickly duck behind two garbage bins as Siyeon stopped walking. Bora peeked over and felt her heartbeat beating faster. A guy walked over to Siyeon and they started talking.

"Don't give me that attitude next time. I could drop you right away."

"Yeah, sorry..."

"Hand it over already."

Bora was squinting trying to see in the dark what was going on. She saw the guy hand over something and Siyeon inspected it quickly before putting it in her handbag. She reached inside the bag and pulled out a stack of money, making Bora's jaw drop. The guy ran his fingers over the money as he counted it.

"You really don't trust me?"

The guy shrugged. "It's just business. Don't take it personally."

He walked in the other direction and disappeared out of sight. Siyeon turned around and started walking back. Bora quickly turned around and prayed for dear life that Siyeon wouldn't see her. She couldn't just confront her here. This wasn't a place to discuss anything. 

She kept her composure and slowly turned to check if Siyeon was gone. Since the coast was clear, she started walking back to the dorm. 

\--

Bora saw Siyeon at the entrance of their dorm and waited for her to get in first. Slowly and creeping behind her on her tiptoes, she stopped the bathroom door from closing with her foot. Siyeon turned to look at the door to meet Bora's eyes. Bora quickly pushed the door and got in and locked it behind her back.

"Wh-What are you doing?" Siyeon stuttered nervously and gripped the bag tighter.

Bora noticed it and looked at the bag. Siyeon followed her eyes and took a step back.

"Bora, please... I need to use the bathroom."

Bora snorted and pulled a face. "Ok. Go. I'll wait right here."

Siyeon watched her cross her arms and lean against the door, making sure Siyeon couldn't leave.

"Uh, a little privacy would be nice..."

"Siyeon, do you think I'm stupid? Do you really think that of me? I saw you. Just now with that dude."

Siyeon gulped and looked away. Her brain was craving the drug so badly and couldn't function to think of an idea of how to get away from this. She had to think of something soon or at least buy herself some time.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Siyeon tried to get out, but Bora spread her arms blocking her.

"You're not fucking leaving until you show me what's in the bag." Bora said it in a low voice through her teeth. They stared at each other and Siyeon began to smile as she finally thought of something.

"Okay, okay. You got me! It was a gift for you, okay? I wanted to surprise you and now it's ruined it, are you happy?"

Bora's expression softened a bit. She looked at the bag then back at Siyeon who had on a small smile.

Did she really overthink all of it? Is that why Siyeon's been acting so strange lately? Because she was hiding that gift? But why did it cost so much and why meet a man like that in a dark alleyway... Her thoughts were silenced when Siyeon's hand slowly caressed her cheek.

"I just wanted to be a good girlfriend and give you something nice, that's all. I'm sorry that I've been a bit weird lately, but now you know why."

Bora was falling for her sweet voice and eyes and forgot why she was here in the first place. It didn't help her when Siyeon leaned in and kissed her gently. She missed that gentle touch so much.

"I'm sorry, I-I guess I panicked over nothing... At first, I thought you were cheating on me or something..."

Siyeon raised her eyebrows and started laughing which made Bora laugh as well and shake her head.

"Never silly, don't ever think that. You're the only one for me." 

Siyeon's words made Bora wrap her arms around her neck and she connected their lips again. With the way Siyeon was kissing her, for the first time in a while it felt like she was her old self. Bora was laughing at herself in her head. She really got the whole thing wrong; she was so stupid.

"Sooo... Can I see the gift now?" Bora pouted and put on her best puppy eyes which made Siyeon chuckle. It was more of a nervous chuckle than a normal one, but luckily Bora didn't notice.

"No, it will ruin it even more. You have to be patient. It's a Christmas gift."

Bora sighed and slid her arms off Siyeon's neck.

"Fine. Come to my room later? Yoohyeon's gone home..." Bora winked and Siyeon smirked and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"I will baby. But seriously, let me pee now."

Bora laughed and kissed her once more before walking out. Siyeon leaned with her back on the door and exhaled shutting her eyes. That was close. The closest to getting caught.

She would have to be more careful. More than ever before. One more slip up like this, it would be all over.

She hated herself for lying to Bora, but at this point what could she do.

She locked the door and took the stuff out her bag ready to finally get her hit.

Bora was already in her bed dressed in the new lingerie Siyeon has yet to see. Her heart was at peace with the whole situation. She trusted Siyeon with her life and swore she would never accuse her again of something like that. She was being sweet and she thought she was doing something shady behind her back.

She took her phone and took some racy selfies showing off the lingerie. She quickly sent them to Siyeon. She was getting impatient. Whatever Siyeon was doing with her gift, she was taking way too long.

Bora smiled when she imagined her girlfriend probably panicking trying to find a place in her room to hide it. 

And that was just what she did. Except it wasn't a gift but a big bag of cocaine. In a way, it was a gift, but for Siyeon only. Once she was sure it was a good hiding spot, she picked up her phone that buzzed and grinned at the texts. 

"Oh, I'm coming baby."

\--

Just like before, the sex was a bit rough, Siyeon was an animal, but Bora didn't mind. Knowing everything is fine, she could enjoy it fully. 

"Since when do you have so much stamina?" Bora teased her girlfriend as Siyeon was placing kisses on her body. Usually, Bora would beg her for more, but now after god knows how many rounds, she was completely out of breath and Siyeon looked confident and wanted to do it again and again.

"Practice makes perfect." She answered and leaned her head between Bora's legs making her grip the bed sheets when she felt Siyeon's tongue touch her core. She wanted to ask more questions, but instead, she let out breathy moans. Her mind had gone blank at the pleasure.

\--

For the next few days, everything seemed fine. Not like the old days, but Bora was less worried about Siyeon. Of course, she still had some weird moments, but she trusted her. She trusted her that she was doing alright. She would have told her if she wasn't. There was nothing to worry about...

Until the day Bora went to Siyeon's room in search of a hoodie to wear. She loved her hoodies. They were always big and comfy, plus they smelled like Siyeon. They were perfect.   
  
She was crouching down making a whole mess in Siyeon's closet before pulling out the black hoodie she was looking for. She was ready to get back up when she noticed something peeking under the stack of clothes. She got back down and pulled on it making the clothes fall. She moved them away and picked up a bag with something white in it. She looking at it confused before it hit her.

She was stuck in place staring at the bag with eyes wide open. Pure horror was written on her face. Cold sweat began forming at the back of her neck. The hand holding the bag started to shake. Her knees were suddenly weak. Everything made sense. Everything from the last two weeks made perfect sense now.

"Bora... I can explain..."

She turned around slowly hearing the familiar voice she trusted so much. She stared at her with her jaw shaking. Siyeon had her hands in the air in front of her chest and walked carefully over watching Bora's eyes fill with tears.

"I can explain, baby, please, I-"

"Don't fucking move." Bora muttered and made Siyeon stop walking towards her. She lowered her hands and looked at the bag swallowing the fear in her throat. This was really it. 

"A gift. A gift for me, huh?" Bora started and began mimicking Siyeon's voice in a mocking way. "Oh baby, I was just being a good girlfriend, I wanted to make you happy. You're my only one!"

Siyeon stared at her and felt more tense than when she was without the drug. An angry Bora wasn't a good time. An angry Bora finding out she had been doing drugs for the past two weeks was absolutely terrifying. She should've known better than to hide it there. 

"Bora, I know how it looks, let me expl-"

"Listen Siyeon."

"Bora-"

"Listen. No, really listen."

Siyeon didn't break eye contact with Bora. She could feel her heart beating as if it wanted to rip out of her chest. 

"I'm going to be by your side 24/7. You won't be able to breathe without me next to you. I'm serious Siyeon. This has to end right now. You're ruining your life, your career. You're ruining our relationship."

Siyeon blinked and her expression changed a bit at the mention of their relationship. 

"Bora, you know I love you."

"Don't give me that shit now..." Bora stared at her in disgust. Her emotions were all over the place, but anger was the main one. She was angry at Siyeon, but she was more angry at herself for being so stupid and not noticing it before. 

"You've looked me in the eye and lied. You've lied so many times and I trusted you with my whole heart... You've been hiding this for weeks. You need help. I'm so pissed at you, I want to kill you, but I'll be there for you. I feel awful because you resorted to this. What led you to this? Why did you even think this would be a good idea? Why didn't you talk to me about whatever has been bothering you? I love you so fucking much and I hate to see you like this. This ends today, okay... Siyeon, I beg you please don't ruin yourself..."

At this point, Bora was sobbing loudly as sentences were stumbling out her mouth. Her hand was gripping the bag of cocaine harder and Siyeon didn't know what to do. She started walking over again slowly and hugged the crying girl. Her brain was messing with her emotions. She wanted a quick hit to feel that happiness again. Just to feel that high. This sadness that was taking over her right now was too much to take. Bora let go of the hug and looked down at the bag. She started walking to the door.

"Babe wh-where are you going?" Siyeon asked and felt panic inside her chest. 

"I'm going to flush all of this down the toilet..." Bora didn't look at her and just walked out.

Paranoia took over Siyeon's body. Was yesterday the last line she took? Was this really it? Gone just like that? The money she paid for it gone down the toilet. Her happiness gone. She quickly ran after Bora who was about to drop it all when Siyeon's hand grabbed her wrist and they started tugging on the bag.

"Siyeon, let go!"

They kept tugging until the bag ripped and the white poison fell in the toilet. Most of it, at least.

Siyeon screamed and instantly grabbed Bora by the collar of her shirt and pressed her body hard against the wall. Bora's arm knocked down a few shampoo bottles at the sudden impact. She looked at her scared for her life as Siyeon's grip was getting stronger.

"You stupid bitch, what have you done!" Siyeon screamed into her face and didn't realize she started choking Bora with the way she held her. Bora placed her hand on Siyeon's arm and gasped for air.

"Si...let..."

Something broke in Siyeon and she let her go backing away slowly realizing what she had done. Bora started coughing and put her hand on her neck still feeling Siyeon's hand on it. 

"Bora, I..." Siyeon barely uttered. She couldn't believe what she had done. Bora's eyes met hers and Siyeon could see the hurt inside of them as new tears were forming and rolling down her cheeks.

"We'll fix this Siyeon, together... But I swear if you do it just once... It's all over... Do you understand?"

\--

**_Breaking! Korea's top successful girl group Dreamcatcher announces an extended hiatus!_ **

**_This Monday morning, thousands of fans were left heartbroken as The Dreamcatcher Company issued a letter to the public announcing the big news. According to the letter, due to personal reasons within the group, they will put a stop to all activities. They ask for support and privacy. All malicious comments and attacks towards the members will be taken into account and charges will be pressed. Even though the company didn't state when the girls will be back, the fans will have to be patient and hope the day comes quickly! The company assured that the girls are resting well and that they will be back stronger than ever._ **


	17. "There is just something about her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: November 9, 2019   
> Warnings: none

The fansign in Seoul was going by fast as the girls interacted with their fans who waited patiently to meet them. They were giving autographs, answering questions and just listened to their fans pour out their emotions and how much they loved them.

Siyeon would always make sure she was fully engaged in the conversation and made the person in front of her feel comfortable. She had been told that she was intimidating and even though she liked that about herself, she was still a sweet, caring person.

The fans were being moved quickly by the staff instructing them to move to the next member and it always felt too short. What could you possibly say in a minute? 

A new fan sat in front of Siyeon and they greeted each other while Siyeon was opening their album to sign it. She thanked them for all the compliments and smiled back at them. She read their post-it note with their question.

"Who would you marry in Dreamcatcher?"

The fan nodded shyly waiting for her answer. Siyeon leaned back a bit tilting her head and started tapping her chin with the marker.

"This one right here." She pointed with her thumb to her left. The fan followed the direction she was pointing at and their eyes landed at Bora, who was busy posing for pictures and interacting with the crowd.

"Why her?" The fan asked making Siyeon look over at Bora.

Her golden blonde wavy hair was falling over her shoulders while a crown some fan gave her was sitting on her head. She was waving at the fans and smiled at them. To Siyeon, she looked like a literal goddess.

"There is just something about her." Siyeon smiled and looked over at the fan in front of her who was left speechless.

They quickly said bye and the line moved. Bora greeted the same fan making them chuckle at the previous events. Siyeon quickly put her index finger over her lips shushing them and winking. Bora looked at them two back and forth confused. The fan laughed and shook her head as if nothing happened.

When the fan left, Bora tapped Siyeon's shoulder. "What happened with that fan?"

Siyeon quickly scanned her face. She loved every single detail. She stared at her for a bit longer than necessary and just smiled.

"Won't tell."

"Ah, come on!" Bora hit her on the shoulder, but fortunately for Siyeon, she forgot about the event for the rest of the fansigning.

\--

Back at the dorm, Bora and Yoohyeon were lying on the couch in the living room watching tv and just relaxed. The younger girl was on her phone scrolling through Twitter. Of course, they had secret accounts and they loved being able to stalk their fans without them knowing.

She was scrolling through a fan's thread of the fansign when something caught her eye.

[insomniasiyeon]  
 _I asked Siyeon who would she marry out of the girls and guess what! She pointed at Bora! She looked at her and you could see the love she has for her. She said that there's just something about her! So sweet!_

Yoohyeon smirked and put her phone in front of Bora's face making her swift her gaze from the tv to the phone. She took Yoohyeon's phone slowly reading the tweet over and over again. She sat up a bit and a big smile broke on her lips.

"So that's what happened back then! The girl just wouldn't tell me!"

She read it once again before handing the phone back to Yoohyeon.

"Suayeon ship is strong."

She laughed when Bora slapped her shoulder. Bora leaned back and picked up her phone quickly opening the messaging app.

[Bora <3]  
 _Come to the living room... you coward ;)_

Siyeon stared at the text confused as she rolled out of her bed and walked over to the living room.

"What is it?" She looked at the two girls and made her way over to the couch sitting next to Yoohyeon, making the tall girl be in the middle of Bora and her.

"Hey, wifey." Bora smirked and Siyeon raised her eyebrows in shock.

"Wait...you know? How?"

Yoohyeon briefly explained to her how they saw the tweet. Siyeon groaned in annoyance and slouched deeper down the couch.

"There is something about me?" Bora tilted her head and reached for Siyeon's hand over Yoohyeon. She sighed and played with Bora's fingers not really wanting to answer.

"You're just embarrassed that we found out!" Yoohyeon nudged her.

"It's not that deep guys." Siyeon let go of Bora's hand and looked over at the tv hoping the conversation would die out.

"My beautiful wifey, when's our anniversary?"

Siyeon couldn't hide the smile on her lips. She turned her body towards the two girls.

"First of all, we need to date before calling it a marriage, you know?" Siyeon winked making Yoohyeon laugh.

"Okay, let's date then." Bora's facial expression was calm and natural. Siyeon thought she was either really good at keeping a poker face or she was actually serious.

"Well? Do you want to?" Bora asked again since she got no response from Siyeon the first time.

"Sure." Siyeon shrugged and smiled trying to play along. Bora smirked and leaned closer to Siyeon placing her hand on Yoohyeon's leg.

"Can we kiss?"

Yoohyeon let out a gasp and covered her mouth. She was enjoying the show playing in front of her eyes. Bora was way too straight forward for Siyeon's liking. She knew she was just teasing her, but she wondered if there was any truth in those jokes.

"Siyeon, baby, come on, kiss me."

Siyeon thought she died for a second when the word 'baby' fell out of Bora's mouth. She bit her lip and wanted to act brave so she started leaning in.

"Wait, are you actually..." Yoohyeon's jaw dropped and she covered her eyes but made sure she was peeking through her fingers. There was no way in hell she would miss this. She started screeching when their lips were almost touching and Siyeon pulled away giggling.

"I can't do it, I can't!" She burried her face into the couch from embarrassment leaving the other two girls laughing.

"Knew you'd be a coward! Help! My wife's a coward!" Bora yelled and threw a pillow at Siyeon which made her turn around and throw it back, but it hit Yoohyeon's head and now the recently married couple started laughing so hard that Bora fell to the floor, resulting in even more laughing fits.

After the crazy pillow fight that took place after Yoohyeon joined in, the three girls were lying on the couch out of breath.

"It's all Siyeon's fault, she just wouldn't kiss me." Bora sat up looking over at Siyeon who smiled and shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Give me more time please, I'm shy."

Bora grinned and nodded. "I'll do just that. You're still my wifey though, that's settled, sorry."

The girls laughed and turned their attention to the tv leaving the pillow fight and marriage stuff behind.

\--

All cuddled up under blankets, the three girls were enjoying a show Yoohyeon found for them to watch. Siyeon thought the show was interesting, but something else kept her mind running. Something about the way Bora was too comfortable with them kissing. She didn't back away, she didn't flinch, she didn't get red in the face. Nothing. She just waited for Siyeon to press her lips against hers. Like it was the most normal thing to do.

She was staring through the tv not paying attention when she saw Bora crawling over Yoohyeon carefully who was fast asleep.

"Um... what are you doing?" Siyeon asked as she sat up. A nervous chuckle escaped her mouth when Bora started to straddle her.

"What does it look like I'm doing... Wifey?" Bora's mouth formed a smirk as she placed her hands on each side of Siyeon's face connecting their lips into a gentle kiss.

For a reason unknown to her, Siyeon didn't pull away. She didn't get shocked. She fully leaned into the kiss. It felt so right to kiss Bora. She placed her hands around her waist pulling her closer as their lips danced with each other. It was magical and Siyeon didn't want it to stop.

"Go to bed Siyeon... You'll freeze here."

Siyeon opened her eyes and looked around confused. She met Bora's eyes that were staring at her as she was gently running her hand over Siyeon's side. Siyeon sat up and still couldn't understand what was going on. She froze when Bora's thumb was rubbing the corner of her mouth.

"Damn, you really drool in your sleep..." Bora chuckled and moved her hand away. Siyeon looked at her and raised her eyebrows.

"Sleep? Oh... I fell asleep..."

"Yes silly, now get up and go to your bed." Bora sighed and got off the couch herself. Siyeon watched her and wasn't sure if she fell asleep after the kissing or it never actually happened.

"Hey, did we... Um, you know..."

Bora turned around hearing Siyeon speak. Her face showed a confused expression. She bobbed her head once to tell Siyeon to continue.

"Nevermind. Doesn't matter." Siyeon scratched her head and pushed the blanket away from her and got up. The two girls said goodnight and went their separate ways to their rooms.

\--

The next day Siyeon found Bora cooking breakfast in the kitchen. Bora lifted her head and smiled seeing a sleepy Siyeon in her pyjamas.

"Morning, wifey."

Siyeon smiled back at her and sat down on a chair. "You're really not letting that go, huh?"

Bora shook her head and turned around to check on the stove.

"Then how about a good morning kiss?" Siyeon asked jokingly and bit her bottom lip hiding her smile.

Bora faced her again and smirked. She started walking over when Siyeon put her hands up and started shaking them towards Bora.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

Bora stopped and sighed returning to her cooking. Siyeon noticed the disappointment written all over her face.

"You're either a big coward or you really don't like me as I thought..."

Siyeon's face dropped when she heard that. She blinked a few times trying to process it.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She bluntly asked, almost in an accusing way.

Bora was focused on cutting up the food and just gave a small smile. "I'm just messing with you." She softly said and turned around to put the cut-up food in a pot. She could feel Siyeon's eyes on her back. The uninvited tension was getting heavier and heavier. Siyeon sliced through the silence in the room.

"I don't think you are."

Bora turned around letting their eyes meet. They stared at each other deeply in thought.

Bora wanted to take a step forward before stopping herself when Yubin, Gahyeon, and Minji started entering the kitchen greeting them brightly. Siyeon's dark eyes were still focused on Bora. She didn't like how she kept calling her a coward. There was nothing cowardly about not wanting to kiss her. After all, they're just friends and co-workers and you don't kiss those on the lips... Right?

She blinked and shifted her gaze towards the three girls greeting them with a smile. The two younger girls joined Siyeon at the table while Minji walked over to Bora to see what she was preparing. They were talking about the food and Bora glanced over at Siyeon whose eyes were already at her. She sighed turning her gaze away knowing today will be a long day.

\--

At the dance studio, after an intense practice, the girls were stretching and Yoohyeon walked closer to Bora and Siyeon.

"How's the marriage going?" She smiled and looked at them both. Bora looked at her then at Siyeon who kept her eyes on Yoohyeon.

"Think we might get a divorce soon." Siyeon said while smirking. Bora scoffed as she was stretching her hip. Yoohyeon gasped jokingly.

"Why, what happened?"

"Ask miss Bora."

Siyeon got Bora's full attention now as she turned her head towards her, her eyes scanning the smug face and eyes that stared back at her.

"Siyeon's just a big, nervous coward that is scared of kissing me, that's all there is to it. Can't be together if you can't kiss your wife." She shrugged and gave her best fake smile to Siyeon who stared at her visibly pissed off by her comments. She was clenching her jaw, wanting to burst out several comebacks, but decided not to stoop to her level. Instead, she just walked away to the other girls.

"Why is she so mad? Can't handle the jokes anymore?" Yoohyeon looked at Bora who shrugged as she stretched her legs.

"Maybe there's something more to it."

Yoohyeon stared at her shocked when Bora gave her an exaggerated wink making the younger girl hit her shoulder playfully. Bora thought it was better if she just thought of it as a joke still. But it was definitely turning into something else. That staredown in the kitchen wasn't just a joke.

After a while, Bora was biting her lip trying to think of something else, but her mind was just like a rabbit hole, finding unrealistic scenarios and expectations. Nothing could be born out of this. It started with a joke and it should end on that note.

So, with that, Bora started walking over to Siyeon. Wrapping her hand around the younger girl's arm, she made her notice her presence.

"Can we talk for a second?"

Siyeon looked at her hand then back to Bora and nodded. They walked over to the side so they could be alone. Siyeon leaned against the mirror on the wall with her back and put her hands inside her pockets as she waited for Bora to start.

"How can you go from saying that there's something special about me to being mad at me?"

Siyeon snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Look, I don't know why you're so upset, but I don't want you to be. Therefore, I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way, I guess my jokes went too far."

Siyeon wasn't too convinced of that. It seemed like Bora just wanted to get over with it. Like she didn't see what was actually going on. The bigger picture.

"The whole coward thing is really annoying. I think it's better if we just drop all of this. It's of no use. I don't want to fight with you. But I still want an explanation for the thing you said in the kitchen."

Bora unintentionally gulped. She didn't think she would be confronted by Siyeon. She thought the girl had already forgotten about that.

"I was just playing around, really."

Siyeon's lips turned into a smirk making Bora look down at them.

"And I again think you weren't. I think what you said was actually the truth. Honestly, I think you actually like me and you want me to like you back. That's why you started this whole thing."

Bora stared at her and hated how Siyeon's face was starting to relax. She could see the pride in her eyes, her ego growing.

"Siyeon, this isn't highschool, don't flatter yourself please. You started it with your comment about me. I came over to stop this useless bickering with you, but I guess it was dumb to do so. Let's just stay mad at each other since apparently, that's better."

She walked away leaving Siyeon alone. Her calling her name was useless because Bora walked out of the studio slamming the door behind her making the other girls flinch. They all looked over at Siyeon who just shrugged not wanting to explain their business. It was too complicated and she had no energy whatsoever.

\--

Arriving back at the dorm, Siyeon noticed that Bora wasn't there. She hated herself for hoping she was, but maybe it was better if they both cool off first.

"So, where's Bora? Siyeon why did she run out like that?" Minji asked looking at Siyeon.

"I told you for the 5th time, I don't know. Can you guys leave me alone, I'm not her parent. God..." She walked away to her room leaving all the girls but Yoohyeon confused.

After a while, Siyeon got a text.

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Spill._

Siyeon groaned and turned around in her bed. Yoohyeon knew her too well. She had a part in all of this so she deserved to know.

[Siyeonnn]  
 _She's just... Frustrating me..._

Yoohyeon positioned herself on the couch so the other girls don't see her phone. She knew Siyeon would kill her if they saw.

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _I saw you talking at the studio, what happened??_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _She came over wanting to apologize I guess, but lol it was so weak.  
Then I asked her to explain what happened in the kitchen and she just avoided the question and acted like I'm licking my own ass or something._

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _What happened in the kitchen?_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Welp... should've left out that part.  
Ughhhh...  
Basically I joked and asked for a morning kiss right?  
And she started walking over all confident, I panicked and stopped her...  
Then she said something like "You're a coward or you just don't like me like I thought"_

Yoohyeon's eyes shot wide as she read that.

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Wow..._

[Siyeonnn]  
 _I know right!!!_

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _You're really a coward :(_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Yoohyeon..._

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Kidding!  
But like fuck?  
She obviously likes you???  
Why were we so blind, it actually makes perfect sense now looking back._

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Nothing makes sense!_

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Do you like her?_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Not like that._

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Sure ;)_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Maybe... fuck...._

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _You want to fuck her?_

Yoohyeon was trying her best not to laugh at her own jokes. She covered her mouth and got weird stares from the other girls.

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Yoohyeon... I swear I'll punch you in the face._

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Okay okay jeez..._

[Siyeonnn]  
 _What do I do?  
She's pissed at me :)_

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Well this situation is really weird, I mean I thought you were straight?_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _I am!_

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Siyeon..._

[Siyeonnn]  
 _I am straight.  
But I kinda sorta had a dream we made out on the couch...  
The way her lips moved against mine?? It felt so right???  
I'm telling you, there's just something about Bora that makes me go crazy._

Siyeon sighed and rolled on her back as she remembered the fansign. If she just answered differently, this whole mess could've been avoided.

She licked her lips trying to remember the taste of Bora's lips. It was such a vivid dream. One of those you hope you could dream again.

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Awww someone's in love <3_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Yooh please...  
I just now realized that it's actually your fault for showing Bora that tweet._

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Oopsie...  
I mean, Bora is beautiful, don't get me wrong, but I'm not into her you know?  
I don't swing that way..._

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Yeah, you swing into Minji's way._

Yoohyeon almost spilled the water she was drinking and the girls next to her were getting more and more suspicious.

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _WHAT?_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Nothing.  
Help me out for real now :(_

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Just talk.  
Until it's settled._

[Siyeonnn]  
 _I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to talk to me._

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Then make her._

[Siyeonnn]  
 _...that sounds wrong._

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Take it however you'd like, just please stop fighting and stop being useless lesbians._

[Siyeonnn]  
 _A what??_

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _I don't know, saw it on Twitter :D  
Listen, I have to go, the others are bugging me trying to see what I'm doing on my phone!_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _No words...  
Text me when she gets back :/_

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _Will do.  
Good luck!  
Congrats on coming out! <3_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _Remind me to strangle you when I'm done with Bora :)_

[Yoohyeon~~]  
 _When you're done with Bora? Damn ;)_

[Siyeonnn]  
 _....._

Siyeon waited for hours until end and there was no sign of Bora. She checked the time it was almost 11:30 pm. She bit her lip and actually started to get worried. She swallowed her pride and decided to text her.

[Siyeon <3]  
 _Bora, I know you're angry, but it's getting really late...  
Are you coming back soon?  
I think we should talk about everything._

Bora was riding the subway and she was already on her phone scrolling through when she got the text. She tensed up when she saw Siyeon's name appear at the top of the screen. She opened the text and smiled brightly. Good thing was that she couldn't give Siyeon that satisfaction to see her face right now.

[Bora <3]  
 _Missing me?_

A giggle escaped her mouth. She just had to poke a bit of fun at Siyeon. It was stronger than her.

"God she's so annoying..." Siyeon murmured. She waited a few minutes before replying. With the way Bora acted, the best thing would be to leave her on read, but she couldn't do that.

[Siyeon <3]  
 _Don't make me regret texting you...  
I'll be in the kitchen when you come back._

[Bora <3]  
 _I'm on the subway._  
Be back in like 15 minutes.  
Thank you for caring :)

Siyeon rolled her eyes and put her phone down. She was happy Bora was coming, but at the same time, she was feeling more and more anxious. What does she tell her? How would she react? Did she actually like her or is it a big joke?

Exhaling and getting out of her bed, Siyeon went to the kitchen to drink a glass of water to calm herself down. Putting the glass down she started walking around nervously. She eventually stopped when she heard the door. She bit her lip when she saw Bora enter the room giving her a small smile.

"Hi..."

"Hey."

Bora put her arms behind her back and leaned against the door frame. Siyeon was standing in the middle of the kitchen with hands in her back pockets. They were a safe distance apart from each other.

"Is it cold outside?" Siyeon asked to ease the already built-up tension. She hated small talk, but they had to start somewhere. Bora smiled and put her hands on her cheeks feeling the cold on her fingers.

"Are they that red?"

Siyeon smiled a bit and nodded. Bora put her hands down and intertwined her fingers. She looked at Siyeon and her expression got serious.

"How come you texted me?"

"I was worried something might have happened to you." Siyeon answered instantly. She shrugged when she saw Bora's face. She was just stared blankly at her. She probably thought she would reply with a sarcastic comment, but she was tired of the arguing.

"Where are the other girls?"

"Probably asleep."

Bora nodded slowly and looked away. She could never win the staring contest with Siyeon. Her eyes were looking deep into your soul if you stared for too long.

"So... We are alone here?" Bora dared to look at Siyeon again who was nibbling on her lip.

"Yeah..." She barely managed to say and look away.

The silent moment that followed after that felt like years have passed by. The thick air in the room was suffocating them both. This unbearable tension and suspense made the girls tense.

Bora was looking at the floor when she noticed Siyeon taking slow steps forward. Their eyes met again and she took more steps quicker this time while Bora threw her arms around her neck as their lips crashed together. Siyeon slid her arms around Bora's waist pulling her closer as they deepened the kiss. Their lips and tongues were hungry for each other, the intensity only rose higher with each movement of their heads. Siyeon pulled away as they regained their breath.

"Who's a coward now?" Siyeon quietly gasped for air and stared into Bora's eyes.

"Took you long enough."

Bora grabbed her shirt and pulled her closer to taste her lips again. Siyeon lifted Bora making her wrap her legs around Siyeon's waist as she stumbled towards the living room that was connected to the kitchen.

As Siyeon walked she hit into a chair making them smile into each other's lips as they kissed. She slowly let Bora fall onto the couch and got on top of her. They were making out when Bora felt Siyeon's hand under her shirt and she placed her hand on Siyeon's chest pushing her gently away and breaking off the kiss.

"Siyeon... We're not doing... that... right?"

Siyeon had on the same smug face Bora hated so much. She caressed her side and looked at her.

"We're not. At least not this soon... I just wanted to see your reaction... Coward."

Bora's eyes went wide before mimicking Siyeon's smirk as she pulled her again into a kiss.

After a long make-out session, they were slowly getting sleepy and decided to just crash here. They started taking off their clothes, each leaving their shirt over their bare chests because sleeping in a bra wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world.

Getting under the blankets, Bora turned around so Siyeon could spoon her. They were enjoying the moment before Bora broke it by turning around so she could face Siyeon.

"I'm sorry for the fight. Honestly now. I never meant to hurt you, but I panicked when you confronted me and yeah..."

Siyeon was now running her thumb across Bora's cheek as she listened to her.

"I'm sorry too. I still think there's something about you though."

They couldn't see each other in the darkness, but Siyeon could feel Bora's cheek under her hand getting bigger as she smiled hearing that.

"Like what..." She drew small circles on Siyeon's arm that she used as a pillow.

"The way your eyes sparkle when you're really excited about something, the way your tiny hand feels in mine, when you get all serious when we learn a new choreo, when you get angry at something stupid, or when you punch those poor plushies at the fansign, or the way you make me laugh like there's no tomorrow. I could go all night..."

Bora felt her stomach turn from all of that and she could throw up butterflies. She leaned in quickly pecking Siyeon before turning back around pressing her body against Siyeon's. She closed her eyes and intertwined their hands.

"I really like you Siyeon... I thought I was obvious enough all these years, but I guess not."

Siyeon shut her eyes and chuckled.

"I can't help but wonder, why me? Why not other girls?"

Bora was keeping Siyeon guessing for a bit before answering.

"It just happened. It's not like I wanted it to happen if you get what I mean. I guess there's something special about you too."

Siyeon kissed the back of Bora's head and tightened her grip on her making her giggle.

They talked more about them, what they like about each other, what they dislike, when they started falling for each other and so on. They also questioned whether to tell the girls, the company, how all of that would go down. They decided to think about that tomorrow.

For now, they would enjoy this peaceful moment between them that they had missed so much.


	18. "Secrets? I love secrets."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: November 13, 2019   
> Warnings: problematic, scene with physical violence

"We never thought this would happen. Not because we don't think you're worth it, but because this is a superstar interested in working with you. It would be an amazing opportunity, Bora, not only for you but also for the group and our company as a whole. We're talking about K-pop royalties. Their contracts are usually very strict and we must abide by their rules. With that said, this meeting is only between us, we ask of you not to tell anyone, including the members, that is if you accept the proposal."

Bora nodded quickly hearing the CEO speak. No second thoughts entered her mind. She knew how big this could be, there was no way she was turning this down. No chance.

"It would really be a dream come true. I accept."

\--

Walking into the dorm, Bora was greeted by her favorite pair of arms as they hugged her tightly from behind.

"You're back." Siyeon kissed the side of her head making Bora instantly smile and lock the door. She turned around to face her girlfriend.

"Already clingy?" Bora said wrapping her arms around Siyeon's neck and Siyeon smirked gripping her waist pulling her closer.

"Please... You love it."

Bora nodded grinning like a little girl. She leaned in to kiss her.

Kissing Siyeon always made her relax and feel at ease. It was like all of her problems perished into thin air. She wanted to tell her badly about the meeting, but she gave her word. She had to keep her mouth shut. Siyeon would understand. Hopefully.

Feeling her body being lightly pushed against the door, Bora buried her hand into Siyeon's hair while tasting her lips and tongue over and over again.

"Ugh, seriously, get a room!"

They broke off hearing Gahyeon make a puking sound as she walked by. They chuckled and Siyeon took Bora's hand intertwining them.

"You heard her."

She started walking backwards, but Bora pulled her hand away. Siyeon's face dropped at the rejection and she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Babe, I'm not in the mood really, today was a bit...hectic." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Siyeon just nodded and came back closer taking both of Bora's hands this time. She was looking at them before looking back up to Bora.

"Then... how about we just cuddle... and you fall asleep in my arms? Sounds good?" Siyeon raised her eyebrows and waited for Bora's answer.

"I love you so much." Bora whined and pecked her lips quickly before they walked over to Siyeon's room.

Feeling Siyeon's long nails slowly dance on her skin made Bora sleepy. She buried her face into Siyeon's neck breathing in her scent and shut her eyes focusing only on her gentle touch.

She was grateful to Siyeon not asking any questions about today, because making up a lie right now while being in her arms would be impossible. Most of the time they were very straightforward to each other, they never lied, which sometimes resulted in petty arguments, but it only made their bond stronger. Therefore, Bora couldn't help, but feel guilty about not saying anything.

She exhaled loudly nuzzling her head deeper into Siyeon's neck and tried to stop her thoughts from adding to that huge tower of guilt.

\--

Bora woke up and the warm duvet was hugging her tightly as she looked around and was alone in bed. She sat up a bit scanning the room not knowing how long she slept and what day it was.

"Siyeonnn..." She called for her in a husky voice and since she got no reply she just let herself fall back on the bed and pull the duvet over her head.

Even though the sheets were freshly washed, everything still smelled of Siyeon. Her scent filled Bora's lungs and her eyelids felt heavy again.

She heard someone walk in and she pulled the duvet down hoping it was Siyeon.

"Oh, hey Bora, didn't see you there."

Bora gave Yubin a small smile as she sat up more. Yubin smiled at her wrinkled white top from sleeping so hard.

"Where's Siyeon?"

"In the living room, want me to call her over?"

Bora nodded and pouted like a baby that needed its mother. Yubin chuckled at her antics and went outside. In a minute or two Siyeon appeared and got on top of Bora who smiled kissing her right away.

"Well good morning to you, or should I say evening?"

Bora raised her eyebrows and found her phone in the messy sheets. 8:34 pm. She groaned and put her phone back down. Siyeon giggled and kissed her cheek.

"Why did you leave me alone here... Cuddle me now..." Bora pouted and moved to the side. Siyeon got under the blankets and Bora immediately clung to her hiding her face in Siyeon's chest.

"You're so clingy today and you have the audacity to tell me something..."

On other days, Bora would giggle or hit her, argue back, but she wasn't amused today. She knew why she was so clingy. It was because she felt bad, that was all. The guilt eating her inside even though she had done nothing wrong.

"Baby?" Siyeon rubbed her back.

"Huh?" Bora hummed and didn't look up.

"I asked if you're hungry. Let's go out and eat something."

Bora groaned again and rubbed her face into Siyeon's chest. She stretched before wrapping herself around Siyeon's body like a baby koala.

"Boraaa, come on." Siyeon stared tickling her making her jump and try to block the hands that were attacking her. She laughed and screamed trying to tickle Siyeon back.

"Okay, okay! Stop! I'll go!" Bora yelled and grabbed Siyeon's hands tightly while getting on top of her. They stared at each other before Bora leaned in and kissed her softly. She pinned Siyeon's hands above her head and could feel her smile against her lips.

"Or we could just stay here..." Bora whispered while letting go of her hands and sitting back up. Siyeon placed her hands on Bora's thighs watching her as she began taking off her top.

"Damn... I suddenly don't feel the urge to go out."

That comment made Bora smirk as she gripped the sheet and pulled it over them as she leaned back down.

\--

They were woken up early in the morning by Minji and Yubin. Bora turned around and the girls shrieked as the sheet slid off her upper body.

"I just saw a pair of boobs... great..." Yubin sighed looking away while Bora rolled her eyes and look at her annoyed. Minji laughed at the scene covering her mouth.

"What? You don't have those?" She sat up holding the bed sheet over her chest. Yubin shook her head and walked out leaving Minji to deal with the couple.

"We have to go to the SBS Ingikayo today. We have to be there in two hours so you two better get ready."

Bora just yawned hearing that while Siyeon didn't move.

"Siyeon, honey, I know you're awake so get your asses up."

Minji left them alone and Bora stretched still trying to wake up when she realized.

Inkigayo.

She would probably bump into the superstar she agreed to work with. If the girls catch her, she would have to tell them.

She bit her lip and looked down at Siyeon who was trying to fall back asleep. They would surely be happy for her, except for Siyeon. She knew how she was. She would be proud that was for sure, but happy? Bora let out a breath and just hoped everything turns out well.

\--

The rules at the SBS studios were strict and no one was allowed to eat in the waiting rooms. There was a cafeteria on the fourth floor with tons of food to choose from.

The most popular was, funnily enough, a sandwich.

The girls were craving one, but they would soon have to leave, so Bora was the one to go up and bring each of them one so they can have them for later.

On her way there, she greeted a few other idols and finally made her way to the cafeteria. Seeing the sandwiches neatly placed on a table, she started to grab seven of them for each member including herself. She was lost in her thoughts counting them as she took them when a voice interrupted her.

"Wow, you must be hungry..."

A voice coming from someone above her got her attention and when she looked up, she froze immediately. There he was.

"Lee Taemin. So happy to finally meet you."

"K-Kim Bora." She just stared at him with wide eyes.

He was way taller than she imagined him. He was very handsome. She noticed him also holding one of the sandwiches. 

"I'm so sorry... I'm so starstruck right now." She put her hand over her mouth. He laughed and shook her head letting his blonde hair streaks lightly shake.

"Don't be please, I'm a normal guy."

Bora tilted her head from left to right unsure of his words.

"Not so sure about that, but okay. I'm so excited to work with you, you have no idea!" She couldn't hide her enthusiasm. She was smiling brightly at him and stared at him like he was God. He pulled his plump lips into a smile and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I just recently found out about your group, Dreamcatcher, right? I saw some videos and I knew right away who was the main dancer. You're really amazing Bora, the way you feel the song, the way you move your body, it's really stunning."

Bora could feel her legs being turned into jelly. All those years of pain and tears. Her hard work finally paying off as one of Korea's top dancer was complimenting her.

She was already embarrassed because she knew she looked like a tomato at this point. She could also swear he checked her out like twice during their conversation.

"I... I really don't know what to say. Thank you so much for your words. I'm really looking forward to our first practice." She hastily spoke and didn't notice she was nervously playing with the plastic wrap of one of the sandwiches. 

"I can't wait either. Here, a little gift." He handed her the sandwich he was holding. 

Bora noticed there was a piece of paper inside the plastic wrap. She looked up at him and he just smiled and waved as he walked away. Bora looked down at the sandwich again. She knew about the rumors.

No, this couldn't be happening. Not to her.

She wanted to unwrap the plastic to check if her assumptions were correct when someone grabbed her arm making her jump.

"Was that Lee Taemin from Shinee?!" Minji shrieked a bit too loud and Bora shushed her before people could react to them being noisy.

"I came to check on you, you took so long, but now I can see why. Come on, let's go downstairs and you better explain what just happened."

Bora sighed at her defeat, but she knew she could trust Minji. She won't tell anyone.

She was explaining everything to her as they walked down the stairs and told her about his gift.

"Wait... Are you serious!? I thought that was just a silly rumor! Did you check?"

Bora shook her head and lifted her hand to look at the sandwich she gave her. Minji was holding the other six of them and persuaded her to open the plastic wrap. Bora carefully did so and took out the piece of paper. Reading it, their jaws dropped to the floor.

_Since you'll be my dancer partner, we might as well get to know each other a little bit better ;)_

_Lee Taemin <3_

The girls stared at the phone number written at the bottom. Looking up at each other they began screeching so loudly that the whole building could hear them.

"Minji... oh my god, what is this supposed to mean holy fuck!" Bora yelled feeling her body heat up and her pulse getting faster. 

"He literally wants to date you! Oh my god, what is happening?!" Minji jumped up almost dropping one of the sandwiches she was carrying.

"I know I'm bi, but this is too much fuck!"

Bora put her hand on her cheek and kept reading the note checking to see if what she just read was right.

Lee Taemin interested in her as a dancer? That was crazy. But Lee Taemin interested in her romantically? That was surreal.

Bora could feel her stomach turning and her body twitching as the image of them kissing played inside her head. Feeling those big lips of his on her own. She blushed at the thought and bit her lip smiling.

"Well, luckily you're already in a relationship, so, this won't be weird at all..." Minji sarcastically commented bringing Bora back to reality and her whole world came crashing down in an instant.

Siyeon.

She literally forgot about her. Her own girlfriend. The love of her life.

She wanted to slap herself for thinking about Taemin in any other way, than as a co-worker. She shouldn't even have those thoughts. She wouldn't cheat on Siyeon.

"Yes, I'll have to figure out how to tell him that I'm not interested." She forcefully laughed, but deep inside she was dying.

What if he doesn't want to work with her anymore if she rejects him? How badly would Siyeon react if she knew her thoughts?

"Listen, Minji..." She grabbed her arm making her stop walking. Minji looked at her curiously.

"This stays between you and me, okay? Everything. Especially this part." She held up the paper and stared at her with the most serious look. "You know how Siyeon is. She'll freak out if she finds out..."

Minji gave her a small smile and promised she wouldn't tell.

\--

Bora wanted to die as she watched Siyeon eat her sandwich on the couch at the dorm. She licked her thumb and wiped away a piece of strawberry jam hanging on the corner of Siyeon's lips. She gave her a smile with her mouth full making her cheeks puffy and Bora smiled back hesitantly before looking away.

She already put Taemin's number in her phone and still hadn't texted him. She didn't know what she would say. She wanted to keep her distance, but at the same time not make him angry and let the deal fall through. He seems like a nice guy, but you never know how a person reacts to getting rejected.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

She heard Siyeon speak and she looked over at her and smiled seeing again jam on her lips. She wiped it off again and licked her finger.

"You really don't know how to eat."

"Hey, I can't help it. These are so good. Thanks for giving me yours as well. Hopefully, I don't gain too much weight."

She smiled and lied down putting her head on Bora's lap. Bora moved Siyeon's hair out of her face and just admired her as they looked at each other. She could never cheat on this beautiful human being.

She caressed her cheek making Siyeon close her eyes.

"You didn't answer my question."

Bora furrowed her eyebrows and Siyeon continued as she heard no response.

"It's like something is bothering you. I can see it in your eyes."

Bora bit her lip nervously and Siyeon could feel the rhythm of her hand caressing her cheek change.

"I'm just... A bit stressed. The new choreos and stuff."

Siyeon opened her eyes and Bora quickly looked away not wanting to deal with those eyes right now.

"You'll be fine miss main dancer." Siyeon grinned and Bora chuckled quietly.

Main dancer. Yeah. That's what she was. Taemin said that as well.

"Hey, I'll go shower and go to bed. My head kinda hurts." She dropped her hand and Siyeon sat up looking at her worryingly.

"Are you sure everything is okay?"

Bora nodded and forced a fake smile. "It's just stress. I think I'm overworking myself."

She hated how these white lies slid off her lips so naturally. It was kinda scaring her.

Siyeon asked her if she wanted to sleep in her bed or vice versa, but Bora declined her offer saying she just wanted to sleep alone. Which made no sense, because her best sleep was always with Siyeon by her side.

Siyeon looked at her and in her eyes was confusion, but also sympathy, so she just leaned in kissing her forehead gently, hoping her girlfriend feels better in the morning.

\--

In bed, Bora grabbed her phone and searched for Taemin's number in her contacts list.

Was it too late to text him now?

She wasn't sure, but she gave it a shot anyway.

[Unknown]  
 _Hello, this is Kim Bora._

She waited only a few minutes before getting a reply.

[Taemin]  
 _Oh hey! Finally you text me :)  
I was getting worried that you might not._

[Bora]  
 _Of course I want to.  
We'll be working together so it's nice to have your number._

She tried to keep it as professional as possible, but soon she realized it would be too hard.

[Taemin]  
 _I'm glad!  
So what are you doing? :)_

[Bora]  
 _Just in bed after showering.  
What about you?_

[Taemin]  
 _Oh nice nice.  
I'm still at the dance studio._  
  
And that would be fine if he didn't add a selfie as well.

In the selfie, he was smiling and holding a peace sign. Bora assumed he was probably shirtless since he captured a bit of his shoulders.

The huge studio in the background could be seen as well in the picture.

Ignoring his body, Bora decided to comment on the dance studio.

[Bora]  
 _Ah you're really hardworking.  
Your company has such a huge studio... I'm a bit jealous! :(_

[Taemin]  
 _Thank you!  
You'll be here soon, no worries ;)_

Bora's insides twisted a little bit reading that. An image of them alone in the studio while he was shirtless popped in her head and she wanted to scream.

[Bora]  
 _I'm looking forward to it ;)_

She started cursing silently. She didn't mean to put the winky face. It would be too awkward if she tried to fix it. The damage was done as he sent his next text.

[Taemin]  
 _Can't wait to see you dance in person!_

[Bora]  
 _Ah don't say that please.  
I'll probably have two left feet the second I step into the studio..._

[Taemin]  
 _I can work with that too ;)  
I'm going to shower now, I'm all sweaty...  
Talk soon, night Bora :)_

[Bora]  
 _Night!!_

She felt awful. She felt awful because she actually liked this. She liked talking to him. _This wasn't cheating, right? It's morally wrong, but for now, it was not as bad right?_

Her phone buzzed and she excitedly picked it up hoping Taemin had more to say, but only to get slapped in the face.

[Baby girl <3]  
 _Hey baby, hope you feel better!  
Sleep tight :)  
I love you so much <3_

She felt something die inside her chest as she read that and she quickly replied.

[Bora <33]  
 _I love you too Siyeon :) <3  
Goodnight <3_

_It's not cheating. It's not._

\--

Waking up, Bora checked her phone and saw one new text from Siyeon. She tried to tell herself that she wasn't disappointed that Taemin didn't text her anything.

[Baby girl <3]  
 _Good morning my queen <3_

Bora stared at the text and another wave of guilt crashed into her.

[Bora <33]  
 _Come cuddle me please :(_

It didn't take Siyeon long to come to her room. She was still in her cute pyjamas and got under the covers with Bora greeting her with a kiss.

"How are you feeling?" Siyeon turned on her side and placed her hand on Bora's tummy.

"Better with you here." Bora smiled and Siyeon grinned leaning down kissing her gently again.

She put her head on Bora's chest and shut her eyes. They were enjoying the silence when Bora's phone buzzed. She lifted it to see that she got a text from Taemin. Bad timing. She quickly shut her screen off so Siyeon didn't have the chance to see it.

"Is your mom still texting you good morning messages?" Siyeon turned around and lied down on her tummy as she looked at Bora.

"Huh? Uh, yeah. My mom. You know how she is... Always missing me..." Bora smiled a bit and couldn't believe she was using her own mother as an excuse.

"I miss her... When can we go back to visit your family?" Siyeon pouted and this time Bora genuinely smiled at her. She started fixing Siyeon's messy hair.

"I don't know baby girl... Maybe on the next break."

Siyeon grinned and stared at Bora. "I love it when you call me that."

Bora looked at her and slid her hand down her cheek. "What? Baby girl?"

Siyeon nodded and placed her hand over Bora's. "Makes my heart melt."

"Baby girl." Bora smirked watching Siyeon smile once more.

"Say it again."

"You're my baby girl."

Siyeon shrieked quietly not expecting a full sentence and put her head down as she blushed. Bora watched her and forgot about Taemin and all that stuff for a second.

Why would she even think of someone else when she had her whole world right in front of her blushing at a silly pet name. 

"I love you Siyeon. So much. You mean the world to me."

Siyeon lifted her head at the sudden love outburst and just smiled at Bora looking down at her lips then back to her eyes.

"I love you too."

Bora placed her hands on her cheeks and Siyeon got closer pressing their lips together feeling the butterflies in her stomach just like the first time.

"Gosh, guys, could you be any more cringy?" Yoohyeon whined from the bunk above making the girls laugh.

"Oh, shut up." Siyeon said while straddling Bora as they began kissing again.

\--

Being done with the recording of their new song the girls walked out of the recording room and Minji pulled Bora's hand.

"Come to the toilets with me."

Bora followed and when they closed the door, Minji turned around and had a smug on her face. Bora sighed knowing what she meant and took out her phone to show her the texts between her and Taemin. His morning text was a simple good morning and they talked briefly about some ideas for the choreography. 

"Bora, this is great and all, but... Why are you flirting with him?" Minji's face expressed concern and confusion. She knew how much Bora loved Siyeon so Bora sending these types of texts was weird.

"I'm not!" Bora yelled in defense. She already hated herself for it, but being called out like that hurt.

"I literally put the winky face by accident! I swear... It's just... I don't want to lead him on, but at the same time, I don't want to be boring and cold. This is huge, I can't mess this up."

Minji crossed her arms and leaned on the door. "So... you'll flirt your way to that collab?"

Bora groaned and looked at herself in the mirror. Shame was written all over her face.

"You're not helping at all..."

Minji watched Bora pace from one side to the other, nibbling nervously on her lip.

"If Siyeon-"

"Yes, yes! I fucking know! If Siyeon finds out, I'm dead."

Minji sighed realizing this wouldn't lead to anything.

"Just, be careful."

Bora nodded and looked at Minji. "And you keep your mouth shut yeah?"

Minji nodded, but couldn't help but think how all of this was wrong.

\--

In the next few days, Bora was spending time at the SM building. They signed all the necessary papers and everything was set for the collab. Taemin showed her around and after a few of the smaller dance studios, he saved the biggest one for last.

Bora was in complete awe. All the fancy lights, the wooden floor that was shining waiting to be danced on, the huge tv in the corner. This room was bigger than their whole dorm.

"Damn, you guys are rich..."

They both laughed at her comment as she kept looking around.

"Shall we start?"

Bora looked over at Taemin taking off his hoodie and leaving on a black tank top. Her eyes fell on his lean arms showing a bit of muscle. She blinked and nodded quickly putting her bag down.

"I saw you covered Move and Sayonara Hitori, so I'm sure you still remember those?"

"To be perfectly honest, I know how to dance to all of your songs..." Bora bit her lip smiling and he smiled back clapping his hands.

"Amazing! I knew what I was doing when I chose you."

Bora felt her cheeks blush and she looked at the floor. Taemin began scrolling through his phone.

"Let's start with Move to warm up."

\--

He was very impressed with Bora and Bora fell more in love with the way Taemin understood dancing on a whole new level; how his mind worked and how he managed his choreos. His new song was coming out soon and the concept was sexy, therefore the choreo had to be sexy as well. They had no problem with it since they were both professional idols and this was in the end only work, but Bora kept thinking about Siyeon's reaction, once this would be out.

She exhaled with hands on her hips and looked over at Taemin wiping his sweat with a towel. They were practicing for hours and were both pretty exhausted.

"Let's go again." Bora said and he turned on the music again and threw the towel on the table.

The choreo was designed so that they start apart and as the song goes on, they are closer and closer to the point where Taemin was pressed against Bora's back with her slowly and sensually grinding on him as he held her hips. She would drop low and come back up wrapping her arms around his neck.

Dancing again, he had his arms tightly around her waist and the song was coming to an end as she turned around and pushed him and he fell. They were now dramatically looking at each other before he got back up finishing off the choreo placing his hands on her cheeks. The song ended and Bora noticed him leaning forward and she quickly moved before he could do anything further.

There was a bit of awkward silence, but Bora tried her best to fix it.

"I think the ending pose is great. We could lean in a bit like that, but not fully you know? For the effect."

He wiped his forehead and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. We should do it like that."

Bora could tell he wasn't really satisfied, but what was she supposed to do? Just let him kiss her? The trouble in the media and with the fans wouldn't be worthwhile.

There was also Siyeon.

She had been mentally slapping herself each time she forgot about her. Siyeon was the most amazing girlfriend one could wish for and Bora hated herself for being such a shitty one. She was dancing on the line of cheating.

She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at Taemin. "Shall we call it a day?"

\--

They've danced together for two weeks, figuring out how each other bodies and their dance styles. Perfecting their choreo bit by bit adding more moves, details, setting the right energy that they want to portray.

She said bye and hopped in her company's van heading back to the dorm. The dance practice video will be dropping exactly at midnight. Bora was nervous but excited about it. She was kinda glad she wouldn't be in the music video as that would be too much to take. She was content with just a dance video collaboration.

\--

"I mean, he's been all over you with those flirty texts..." Minji said as she talked on the phone with Bora while she was making dinner.

"Who's been over who with flirty texts?"

Minji froze as she turned around slowly seeing Siyeon leaned against the door frame.

"I-I'll talk to you later, Bora." She quickly hung up and Siyeon's eyes widened in shock. Minji looked at her and noticed how badly she fucked up mentioning Bora's name.  
  
"Minji, what was that..." Siyeon stepped closer and pointed to the phone on the counter.

"Nothing, nothing, forget it!" She quickly turned around and tried to focus on cooking.

"No, tell me. You just talked to Bora." Siyeon placed her hand on Minji's shoulder and pulled on it wanting her to turn around and talk to her.

"I can't. I'm good at keeping secrets." Minji nervously laughed.

"Secrets? I love secrets." Siyeon crossed her arms and was staring at Minji. She never felt intimidated by Siyeon, she was her baby, her little sister. But with this situation, she felt shivers as Siyeon continued to glare at her.

"Who's been all over Bora?" Siyeon asked and her voice had a big layer of anger.

She didn't realize she placed her hand on a dish cloth and her hand was getting white with the amount of grip she was holding it. Minji debated whether to tell or not, but they were in so deep and the dance practice was dropping soon, there was no way back.

She quickly explained to her everything and Siyeon was burning inside.

"So, she flirted back?"

Minji sighed as she was enduring Siyeon's piercing gaze that could kill.

"Only a little bit just so the deal- Where are you going?"

Siyeon was out of the kitchen jogging to her room to grab her phone. She called Bora's number and with a few rings, she finally picked up.

"Siyeon, hey-"

"Shut the fuck up."

Bora tensed up hearing the cold voice of her girlfriend. She swore her heart skipped a beat.

"How fucking dare you! Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you doing this to me?! Imagine if I've done this with someone! How the fuck would you feel?!"

Siyeon was walking back and forth through the room and saw Minji and Yubin come in. She ignored them and focused on Bora's weak voice.

"Baby, please calm down-"

"Don't fucking baby me, Bora! I'm not stupid!"

Bora bit the inside of her cheek and tears were now rolling down her face. With her other hand, she gripped her bag tightly.

"Siyeon, please, I'll explain everything-"

"What is there to explain! What! Don't you see how fucked up this is? Do you think it's normal to flirt with someone while you're in a relationship? If you forgot, and it fucking seems like it, we've been together for two years! Two years Bora! Why are you ruining everything we built?"

Siyeon was on the verge of tears and could hear Bora already sobbing quietly through the phone. Minji and Yubin didn't know what to do and Yoohyeon joined them as well hearing the yelling from Siyeon's room. Siyeon watched them whispering, but she couldn't care less about that now.

"Bora, stop fucking crying and talk to me!"

"I'll tell you everything, just stop yelling at me, please..." Bora was sobbing hard and it broke Siyeon's heart completely. 

She sat down on her bed and placed her thumb and index finger on the inner corners of her eyes trying to calm down. She put her phone down and hung up on her. The other girls looked at her afraid to say anything.

"What are you staring at, leave me alone!" She shouted at her members who quickly disappeared out of the room.

"Minji, what the hell happened?!" Yoohyeon asked and Minji rubbed her temples feeling the headache coming

"Shit. Big shit happened and it will only get worse once the video drops."

The girls looked confused and Minji pointed to the living room so she could explain in peace.

In the van back to the dorm, Bora was sniffing and wiping her tears with her sleeve. She was crying so hard even the company's driver looked at her a few times concerned. She knew she fucked up and once Siyeon would see the choreo... She didn't want to think about what would happen.

Seeing the dorm out the window she shut her eyes exhaling loudly.

\--

Hearing the door open, Siyeon flew to the hallway and stared at Bora's puffy face and red eyes. She looked awful and Siyeon's heart clenched a bit. Bora just stood there not knowing where to look.

"Come to my room." Siyeon said and Bora looked up slowly walking over.

Siyeon closed the door not wanting to deal with the others. Bora had her hand around her arm and stared at the floor in shame. Siyeon sat on a chair and just stared at her.

"Well?!"

Bora flinched at that and sniffed looking everywhere, but into Siyeon's angry eyes.

"I... I don't know where to start." She spoke quietly and bit her lip. Siyeon was starting to get irritated as she sighed and shook her head feeling her blood boil.

"Start somewhere, fucking hell..." She exhaled leaning her head back and shutting her eyes trying to calm down. Bora dared to look at her and her jaw was already fighting away new tears.

"I suppose Minji told you everything..."

Siyeon snapped her head back hearing that. She put her index finger up towards Bora.

"I want to hear it from you. You're not leaving this room until you explain why the fuck have you been flirting with Lee fucking Taemin for weeks now."

Bora sighed and looked over at Siyeon's bed. She walked over and sat down feeling the sheets with her hand. Siyeon's patience was running out, but she waited for Bora to speak.

"Taemin was interested in doing a collab dance with me. Why? I don't know. But it happened. Our CEO wanted me to be silent about it... Minji found out at Inkigayo. She saw us. He-"

"Saw you do what?" Siyeon asked angrily and placed her elbows on her knees leaning forward in the chair.

"Talking... Just talking." Bora put her hands up in defense. She lowered them as she continued.

"He slipped his phone number with a note into one of those sandwiches and gave it to me."

"What did the note say..." Siyeon was responding fast and Bora closed her eyes sighing.

"What did the fucking note say, Bora?" Siyeon was playing with her hands anxiously.

Bora opened her bag and her hand slipped in finding the note. She took a step forward handing it to Siyeon. She quickly read it and ripped it into tiny pieces.

"Why would you even keep this..."

"I... I don't know."

Siyeon rubbed her face with her hands not understanding her girlfriend and her actions. 

"Go on."

Bora swallowed and was fidgeting her fingers. "Later that day, I texted him... He was all friendly and I... I accidentally I swear! I sent back a winky face..."

Siyeon was just staring at her shaking her head not believing a single word anymore.

"I was working with him at the dance studio and that's it... Nothing happened. We didn't kiss or anything like that..."

Siyeon was now leaning back in the chair with her arms crossed again. "But did you want to kiss him?" She raised her eyebrows and Bora looked at her in panic.

"No! I didn't, I didn't want that, really..."

Siyeon smirked and shook her head at Bora's lies. "So, when's that dance video dropping? Midnight?"

Bora just nodded slowly. She realized she wasn't ready. She knew Siyeon would be mad, but she had every right.

"I'm soo looking forward to it..." Siyeon said with the most sarcastic voice ever and Bora bit her lip and started crying again.

"Siyeon, I beg you...please don't be mad. I never meant to hurt you."

"Don't tell me how to feel..."

Siyeon watched Bora wipe her tears away.

"You would probably never tell me about the texts... Admit it, you're only crying because you got caught."

Bora slowly looked up and hurt was beaming out of her tired eyes. She got up and walked out of the room shutting the door behind. Siyeon could hear her breaking down into more tears as she sobbed. She heard the other girls talking to her.

Siyeon shook her head. She should be the one crying, not Bora. She should be the one getting hugs. She got off the chair into her bed and dreaded watching the video later.

\--

Once midnight hit, Siyeon was refreshing SMTOWN's YouTube channel like a maniac before seeing the newly uploaded video. Just by the thumbnail, she recognized Bora.

She took a deep breath and clicked on the video. The other girls were with Bora in the living room as they also watched it on the big tv screen. Bora was nibbling on her nail as she watched herself move on the screen. The girls were happy and were complimenting her. She smiled a bit, but not for long as the sexy part was coming.

Siyeon couldn't lie, they did look great. After all, they were top dancers.

She grinded her teeth as they moved closer and closer to each other. The thought of someone else touching Bora like that was like a bad dream inside of Siyeon's head. She thought she would make it through when Bora's back was leaning into Taemin and she began grinding on his crotch as he gripped her waist tightly.

"What the fuck is this..." She breathed out and her whole body felt hot.

Bora got back up wrapping her arms around his neck as he held her close and their hips moved together sensually in the rhythm of the song. Siyeon watched the rest silently still in shock, still not fully comprehending what was going on.

She watched the end where they almost kissed and once the video was over, she gripped her phone tightly and jumped out of bed. With one swing of her arm, she smashed her phone into the wall making it bounce off and fall to the floor shattering her screen in multiple pieces.

The girls in the living room heard that and Bora stood up from the couch expecting Siyeon to burst in any moment. And she indeed walked in and started heading straight towards Bora before Minji and Yoohyeon stopped her each grabbing an arm of hers. The other girls stood up standing in front of Bora as they noticed Siyeon trying to push through.

"Are you fucking happy with that?! Are you happy grinding on his dick?! Bet they paid you well to be his little slut!"

She broke out of Yoohyeon's grip and the taller girl quickly grabbed her by the waist pulling her back. She didn't think Siyeon would be this strong.

Bora was already in tears as she walked over and slapped Siyeon with all the strength she could find, making Siyeon's head move to the side on the impact.

Silence took over the room and only Bora's sniffs and sobs could be heard. Siyeon turned her head and stared at her with wide eyes as she couldn't believe what just happened. She took a quick step forward startling the two girls that were holding her. Yubin quickly pulled Bora back.

"Fuck you! Fuck this relationship! We're fucking done! You hear me! I'm fucking done!" Siyeon screamed at her and broke down crying as well.

Bora ran out of the room locking herself in the bathroom. Siyeon had no energy anymore to fight off Minji and Yoohyeon and completely let herself go as they held her. Her sobs were louder now and she could feel her cheek burning from the slap.

"You don't mean that..." Minji quietly said, but Siyeon didn't respond.

Gahyeon was also crying silently hiding behind Handong and Yubin. No one could believe what was happening.

Siyeon pulled away from the girls and walked out. She tried to enter the bathroom but realized it was locked.

"Bora, come on, open up..."

"No, I'm a slut, leave me alone..."

Siyeon punched the door with her hand and pressed her forehead against the door.

"Don't turn this on me! I should be the one angry!" She shouted and punched the door again feeling the pain in her hand.

"What am I even doing..." She said it quietly and headed out of the dorm.

Bora was sitting against the wall in the bathroom hugging her legs. She heard another knock, softer this time.

"Bora? It's me Minji... Siyeon's gone out." Bora lifted her head towards the door. She got up slowly wiping her tears and unlocking the door. Minji took her into a tight hug and Bora buried her head into her chest.

"It's pouring outside. That stupid idiot..." She sniffed and the thought of Siyeon walking around in the rain was making her even sadder.

"I have to go."

"What? No!"

"She's probably still close by..."

Bora couldn't hear Minji's or other girls pleads to not go out. She ran to quickly put on her boots. She grabbed her coat and ran out leaving the girls alone.

"What happened?" Yubin looked at Minji.

"They're both idiots, that's what happened."

\--

The cold night made Siyeon shiver as she walked through the streets in only her hoodie that was now getting wet from the rain. A car drove by fast through a puddle splashing her. She cursed at them and stared down at her pants. She was certain she would catch a cold soon, but she couldn't stay there at the dorm. She kept wondering how Bora was doing. They never fought this badly.

"I'm so fucking stupid." She muttered to herself as she remembers the ugly words she said to Bora. Minji was right, she didn't mean any of them. She was just jealous and upset. The dance scene got back into her head and she clenched her fists.

"Siyeon?"

She instantly unclenched them and stop walking hearing the familiar voice she loved so much. She turned around to face Bora whose coat was a darker shade of brown from all the rain. Her hair was wet and stuck to her forehead and cheeks. They were looking into each other's eyes unsure what to say, what to do. Their tears were masked by the rain as it continued pouring.

"Bora, I..." Siyeon began and Bora ran over crashing her body into Siyeon's as she hugged her tightly. Siyeon wrapped her arms around her and held her close.

"I'm so sorry, baby..."

She could feel Bora nodding against her chest and silently crying.

"I don't mean any of what I said, you know that, I'm sorry-"

Siyeon was cut off by Bora kissing her. She returned the kiss but pulled back a bit. "Bora, I hate myself-"

"You talk too damn much..." Bora gripped her hoodie and pulled her again into a kiss. Siyeon gave up on trying to say anything else and just let herself go, kissing her girlfriend as the rain poured down on them.

Perhaps the sky was sorry too.

\--

At the dorm, the girls were preparing a hot bath and some soup for later. They hoped for the best outcome ever since Bora ran out to chase after Siyeon.

"Do you think they'll make up?" Gahyeon asked worryingly as she placed warm blankets on the couch.

"I'm sure of it. They are just two idiots in love. They can't be without each other."

As Minji spoke, they've heard the door open and gasps as the warm air from the dorm hit their cold bodies.

"All good?" Minji crossed her arms and the couple looked at her like they were two kids caught stealing. Siyeon looked at all the girls gathering around them.

"Uh, yeah, all good... Sorry everyone, I overreacted and it got the worst of me."

Bora looked at Siyeon and took her hand into hers. She gave Siyeon a small smile once she looked at her. Siyeon smiled back and blinked a few times looking away as she was still embarrassed by her actions. Minji smiled at them happy to see them being back together.

"Okay, enough talking. Bath. Now."

\--

Sitting in the bathtub in between Siyeon's legs, Bora shut her eyes when Siyeon started massaging her shoulders gently and leaving soft kisses on her skin. She slid her arms around Bora pulling her close as they leaned back against the bathtub letting the hot water relax their bodies. Bora placed her arms on the edge of the bathtub and Siyeon ran her fingers up her arm feeling the soft skin under her fingertips.

"I'm really sorry, Bora."

"Baby, stop already... It's okay."

"But it's not..."

Bora turned around to face Siyeon and placed her hand gently on the cheek that she slapped earlier. She felt bad; violence was never the answer.

"It's okay. I understand your feelings and it was wrong of me to send those texts. I'm sorry for hurting you like that. I just didn't want to lose that opportunity, but instead, I almost lost you..."

Siyeon shook her head and moved one of Bora's hairstreak behind her ear. "You'll never lose me."

Bora leaned in kissing her while Siyeon's hands slowly slid from Bora's back down to her ass. 

"Already being naughty?" She smirked making Siyeon smile and look down at her lips.

"I can't help it when you're this beautiful." She kissed her again once and Bora hugged Siyeon around her neck pressing their bodies together. She leaned her head against Siyeon's and shut her eyes.

"Did you really smash your phone?"

Siyeon chuckled and rubbed Bora's back gently. "Yes, the screen cracked badly."

Bora lifted herself to face Siyeon. She just stared at her and spoke after a while. "You're such a fool..."

"I'm your fool."

Bora smiled brightly and placed her hands on Siyeon's cheeks to kiss her again. Siyeon smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms tightly around Bora's body never wanting to let go. 


	19. "Yes, I admit it, you were right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: November 17, 2019   
> Warnings: none

Tucking her black hair behind her ears, Siyeon was sitting at the dinner table going through photo albums of her days in Dreamcatcher. She was smiling and reminiscing about all the memories they had together. She hadn't looked at these photos in so long. She simply didn't have time. Working as a professor at one of Korea's top music academies kept her busy. 

She heard the front door unlock and her wife coming in back from work. She stayed sitting while going through the photos and stopped when she saw a photo of Bora and her hugging and smiling brightly for the camera.

"We look so young here." Bora slid her arms around Siyeon's neck hugging her. Siyeon smiled feeling Bora's lips on her cheek and her blonde hair tickling her neck.

"I'm feeling so nostalgic. I miss those days so much. We barely see the girls anymore." Siyeon sighed looking back at the photo and ran her finger gently over the group photo where they had won their first award. Bora also stared at it and remembered how much she cried that day.

"At least I still have you." Siyeon turned her head to face her wife and Bora smiled kissing her softly.

"You have me until forever, baby."

Even after being together for so long, after being through so much, Bora's simple words could make Siyeon feel like a little girl again as she blushed and leaned in for a kiss again.

Getting lost into their own world, they didn't hear the footsteps coming down the staircase. The two broke off their kissing session hearing groaning behind them. Turning around they saw their daughter who went straight to the kitchen.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I didn't hear a 'hello mom, so happy you're back home, how was work'?" Bora's eyes were following her daughter as she opened a cupboard to make cereal. She walked over to the fridge to get milk.

"Jia, I'm talking to you." Bora's voice became sterner and Siyeon placed her hand on Bora's arm getting her attention and just shaking her head as a way of saying to let their daughter be. Siyeon was always the more lenient parent and Bora wasn't a fan of that, but it was a good balance.

Jia was done preparing her food and walked over to kiss Bora's cheek and smiled a bit before going back upstairs to her room. They watched her go and Bora shook her head.

"Cereal for dinner... Siyeon, why are you letting her do that?"

Siyeon turned around to face the photo album and continued turning the pages gazing over the photos.

"Honey, I know we are in our late 40s, but you were a teenager once too. Don't act like you didn't eat crap as well."

Bora sighed and didn't reply since she knew Siyeon was right.

"We are still spoiling her too much. I don't want her to turn into some brat."

Siyeon chuckled at Bora's worry and shook her head.

"She's a teenager hating the whole world stressing about exams. Let her be. Also, since she hasn't, I'll ask you. How was work?" Closing the album, she turned around and pulled Bora's legs making her sit on her lap sideways. Bora wrapped her arms around Siyeon's neck.

"Good, but tiring. The trainees are so cute, but I'm still being strict with them. One almost cried today..." She grinned devilishly and Siyeon laughed.

"Let the kids breathe, you witch."

Bora shook her head and leaned in kissing Siyeon again.

"What about you, still have that problematic student?"

Siyeon rolled her eyes and nodded. "It's so frustrating because he's so smart, he has perfect pitch and plays like three instruments. It's unreal how musically talented he is yet he acts like an ass."

Bora didn't hear the rest because she was busy staring at Siyeon being so passionate about her work and her students. The way her eyes were filled with fire as she kept rambling on and on.

"You get me? It's so annoying, he's so lazy, I don't know what to do."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out." Bora kissed her forehead and got off her lap.

"I'm going to take a shower, are you coming to bed soon?"

Siyeon nodded and put the album away.

"I have some work to go through, but it won't take long."

Bora headed upstairs and as she passed Jia's room, she heard loud rock music playing. She smiled shaking her head. Siyeon's influence was too big on her.

\--

"So... Who's driving me to school?" Jia ate her breakfast and looked back and forth between her parents.

"I have a free day, so, I'll do it. We haven't really hung out lately."

Jia looked down at her food. "It's because you're always so busy with your work..."

Bora watched her and it broke her heart.

It was true that she hadn't been home too often because of her tight schedule at work and trips she had to take.

Being a choreographer for multiple artists and working as a dancing coach at the company she debuted in wasn't an easy job. Jia and Siyeon knew that, but they both wanted to see Bora more often.

"Honey, you know I'm sorry about that, but it's just how it is. It makes the times I do get to see you way more precious." She placed her hand gently on her daughter's and received a small smile and a nod from her.

"I get all that and I'm thankful for both of you. I mean, what, we're practically rich? Life's great for me, don't get me wrong."

Both Siyeon and Bora rolled her eyes hearing that. Siyeon pointed with a fork at her.

"Do you know why your ass is comfortable? Because we worked hard for it and were lucky as well. Not many people live like that. Not everyone has a mom working at the music academy you want to enroll in. And mommy most certainly won't bribe anyone there to get you in. I'll help you in the best way possible to get you prepared, but everything is down to you. Be humble."

Jia tried really hard not to roll her eyes as she was scolded for it many times.

"Okay, I apologize... All I wanted to say is that I'm thankful for you even though your jobs sometimes make it hard for us to see each other... I didn't want you to get all fierce at me... jeez." She muttered the last part even though knowing well her mom's ears are still working perfectly.

Siyeon stared at her wanting to say more before Bora got up.

"Come on kid, let's go or you'll be late."

Bora waited for her to get her bag and kissed Siyeon goodbye. Jia ran down and quickly kissed Siyeon's cheek smiling at the previous talk they had.

"Just know that I'm drilling you tonight with our practice! You'll sing like a bird!" Siyeon smirked and watched her daughter groan as she walked out with Bora.

\--

Driving on the highway in Bora's white Mercedes Benz, they blasted music and were singing at the top of their lungs laughing until tears came through.

Pulling up at Jia's highschool they were ready to say bye when Bora noticed a group of high schoolers whispering something in between them. Jia followed Bora's eyes and her face dropped immediately.

"They are so annoying..."

"Are they bullying you?"

Jia shook her head and snorted. "No, they are freshmen. I think they are just scared of me. They probably know who you and mom are. I mean by now the whole school knows it..."

"Ignore them, sweetie. See you at home." Bora kissed her cheek and watched her walk past those kids into the school.

She drove off before they had the chance to take a look at the car again. Jia was pretty popular at school because of her parents. Luckily, the situation in Korea regarding gay couples was better now than when Bora and Siyeon were young. It wasn't such a taboo anymore. Jia said she was never bullied because she has two moms, but a lot of people definitely looked at her differently.

\--

Bora ordered some takeout because she was too tired to cook. Siyeon kept bugging her to hire a personal cook, but Bora didn't want to hear any of it.

"Did you have your lesson with Jia?"

Siyeon shook her head as she was flipping through the exam papers from her students.

"She begged me if we could skip tonight. Guess what, girlie has a date..."

Bora raised her eyebrows. "A what?"

Siyeon laughed and put the papers neatly down. "She's 18. It's not like it's her first date."

"I know, it's just always a shock to me... Hey, watch for the door when the food comes."

Siyeon hummed and Bora jogged upstairs.

Jia was in her room putting on her makeup while listening to music.

Bora was walking past and smiled hearing her sing. Siyeon really did a great job with her voice. She saw potential ever since they adopted her at three years old. Bora was a bit salty that she didn't have much interest in dance, but singing suited her better anyway.

She knocked hard on the door and heard the music get turned off.

"Come in!"

Bora opened the door a bit with only her head peeking through. She looked at Jia who was sitting at her desk finishing off her makeup. She wore a simple white top with black skinny jeans. A black jacket lying on her bed and black heels near the bed were waiting for her.

"God, you're such an emo..."

Jia rolled her eyes and leaned closer to the mirror moving her head around checking if everything was perfect.

"You look great, don't worry."

Bora watched her smile in the mirror. Jia thought Siyeon must've told her about her date.

She got up and put on her heels and grabbed her jacket. She ran her fingers through her long black hair feeling how soft it was. She couldn't lie, she was a bit nervous.

"Your hair is almost as straight as you..." Bora joked making her daughter laugh. It was like she knew she was nervous and wanted to calm her down.

"Yes, sorry that I like boys..."

Bora smiled and looked at her up and down.

"Is he coming here or?"

Jia nodded. "Yeah, he's picking me up."

She was putting on perfume and looked at Bora who was staring at her. She opened her mouth wanting to say something about cars and safety, but then they heard Siyeon yelling from downstairs that her date is here.

"Oh, shit..."

Jia quickly grabbed her bag checking if she has everything with her and ran out the door passing Bora. She skipped downstairs finding her date talking to Siyeon in the living room. He seemed intimidated by her and it only got worse once Bora was making her way down the stairs.

"Good evening, ma'am." He smiled a bit at Bora before looking over at Jia with absolute horror in his eyes. She looked at him confused and got anxious that she looks ugly or something. Seeing him like that, Jia wanted to leave quickly.

"Okay, we're leaving. Bye!"

They started walking away.

"Hey, don't be out for too late!" Bora yelled before they got the chance to leave out the door and Jia's date turned around.

"Don't worry, ma'am, I'll bring her home before midnight." He smiled nervously and looked over at Siyeon who chuckled at him before they disappeared into the night.

"This is the first time I've seen you so nervous, Minjun. What's wrong?" Jia asked as she got into his car. He put his hands on the steering wheel and just looked ahead not yet starting the car.

"You could've warned me that one of your moms is Lee fucking Siyeon, none other than my college professor!"

Jia's mouth dropped a bit. She knew he attended the academy, but she didn't think her mom would teach him. She thought that would be too big of a coincidence.

"It doesn't make it any better with Kim Bora being your other mom... Jesus..." He muttered as he knew well enough who she was. Jia put her hand on his arm and rubbed her thumb against it.

"Well... You have a date with me, not with my moms..."

He smiled a bit, but he wasn't too convinced. He couldn't fuck this up or he wouldn't survive college.  
  
\--

"Wait, you're kidding! That's the student?!" Bora almost spat the water she was drinking. Siyeon sighed and nodded.

"Wish you've seen his face when I opened the door. He was shitting it." She smiled a bit and leaned against the back of the couch.

"I thought he was just nervous because you know, meet the parents and all that... Damn." Bora laughed and put the glass of water down.

"I'll make his life hell if he tries anything sketchy." Siyeon knew him now well enough to know he was a bit of a bad boy, but hopefully, he knew his place now.

"This could turn out good actually, maybe he will behave better you know?" Bora suggested and walked over to Siyeon.

"I'm not so sure about it... He got everything right on the last exam we had. He's really smart I'm telling you, but such a little shit..." Siyeon grinded her teeth as all the memories of him disrupting her class came rushing in.

"He'll get better, watch what I said... Maybe professor Lee could punish me instead..." Bora started to slowly unbutton Siyeon's dress shirt while looking into her eyes. Siyeon's hands remained on the couch as she looked down at Bora's fingers working on those buttons before looking up into her eyes.

"You've been a bad girl?" She asked raising her eyebrows and Bora moved closer pressing herself against Siyeon still making her way down her shirt.

"Very bad... I deserve punishment..."

Siyeon shut her eyes when Bora's breath tickled her ear. She slid her hands on her ass and gripped it hard through her jeans. She heard a faint moan and a laugh from Bora.

"Well, then we need to do something about it..."

\--

Minjun and Jia walked out of the cinema after finishing watching a horror movie. He hoped she would cuddle up to him at scary parts, but the movie was so bad, they spent half the time making jokes about it and laughing silently trying not to get kicked out.

They were now walking through the streets and he slowly took her hand into his. Jia smiled and bit her lip.

"Wanna go to this jazz club? I sometimes perform there with my friends."

Jia looked up at him with her eyebrows raised.

"Sure. Are you performing tonight?" She smirked as he chuckled.

"No, no. Tonight, I'm all yours." He let go off her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulder pulling her closer.

"Gosh, you're so cheesy!"

She playfully slapped his chest and they laughed while walking.

\--

Jia took off her seatbelt when Minjun pulled up to her driveway. She turned a bit in her seat to look at him.

"Thanks for tonight, it was so much fun." She smiled and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. His whole bad boy persona was gone when he was with her. He kind of didn't mind it but hated how she made him so nervous.

"Maybe we could do it again sometime?" He glanced down at her lips and she smiled catching him staring before she herself looked down at his.

"I'd love to..."

He leaned closer placing his hand on her cheek pressing his lips against hers. She returned the kiss before they both pulled away smiling. Jia bit her lip and grabbed her bag.

"Text me later?" He asked and she nodded before quickly pecking him again making him smile. She got out and before she closed the door, he leaned over the passenger seat.

"Oh, and don't let mama Siyeon kill me... please."

Jia laughed and winked at him. "Don't worry about it."

Getting inside the house, Jia found her moms in the living room watching TV. Siyeon checked her phone. 11:10 pm. Not bad.

"I'm home..." Jia said and started walking upstairs.

"You really won't tell us anything, huh?" Bora turned around and moved her eyebrows up and down at her. Jia's lips pulled into a smile remembering the kiss, but she shrugged trying to act cool.

"It was great. Also, mom, he wishes not to get killed at college..." She was looking over at Siyeon who smirked.

"Well you seem happy, so, for now, he's fine. Just tell him not to be an ass, next class."

Jia chuckled and went up to her room.

"Our baby is in love." Bora pretended to sniff and wipe her tears.

"I don't know, Bora, as much as I like that boy for his smarts, I don't want Jia to get hurt... You know how college boys are..." Siyeon leaned her head against Bora's shoulder and she put her arm around her.

"Just give him a chance. Jia isn't stupid or naive."

"I sure hope so."

\--

Two weeks have passed and Siyeon didn't have one incident with Minjun in her class. He was still her top student. He treated Jia nicely whenever they went out and it will only be a matter of time before they get official.

When her class was done, Siyeon was turning off her laptop and picking up her papers ready to pack up. Minjun said bye to his friends before walking over to Siyeon's table. He fixed his hair and cleared his throat.

"Uh, professor Lee?"

Siyeon lifted her head and smiled seeing Minjun standing there. "Hey, what's up?"

He bit his lip and stared at her desk not knowing how to begin the conversation. "Erm. I just wanted to ask you if it's... If it like won't be a problem if I ask your daughter to... You know... be my girlfriend?"

Siyeon watched him speak and tried to give him her best reassuring smile. "Minjun, this isn't the 1950s. I'm happy you asked, but it's really up to Jia. She decides, not me."

He just stared blankly at her response and he fixed his bag hanging off his shoulder.

"Okay, but... You won't mind?"

Siyeon rolled her eyes seeing him all flustered.

"Listen. I know I'm a strict professor and I take pride in it. I was just annoyed at you because you're the academy's best student yet you're lazy and make a fool out of yourself for no reason. I can tell you make my daughter happy and I can also tell your behavior has changed ever since you two started seeing each other. So, it's a win-win situation for me." She smiled seeing him speechless for once.

"Now go, before I change my mind!"

He got startled and chuckled.

"Thank you!" He ran out of the class leaving Siyeon all alone in the big lecture hall.

She took her phone out of her bag and texted Bora.

[Wifey <3]  
"Yes, I admit it, you were right."


	20. "You could talk about it, you know?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: November 21, 2019   
> Warnings: problematic, cheating, small sexual scene

Lying in bed alone in her room being bored, Siyeon sat up and took off her top and her bra. Her eyes quickly moved towards the door as she was anxious that someone would come in just at this moment.

She opened her camera app and pulled her breasts closer together with her upper arms. She took her index finger in between her teeth as she took a few pictures quickly tapping on the screen while slightly changing position each tap.

Her ears might have fooled her, but she heard faint voices outside and started to panic a bit. She quickly sent two pictures to her girlfriend that she was hiding back in her hometown with a "miss you..." text. She placed the phone down and speedily put her clothes back on.

Bora was in the living room watching a movie with Minji and Handong when her phone buzzed. Her eyes were glued to the screen as she slowly picked the phone up and her gaze shifted towards it. She furrowed her eyebrows seeing her screen display a text from Siyeon.

_She misses me?  
We literally saw each other an hour ago._

Bora tapped on the text to open it and immediately exited out shutting her screen off. She began feeling overwhelmed as her whole body tensed up.

_What... Was... That..._

She swallowed a non-existent lump in her throat and glanced over at the girls who were casually talking and eating popcorn. She sat up and turned her phone away so there was no way they could see what she just saw. She bit her lip and opened the text again.

Her eyes instantly fell on Siyeon's chest before anywhere else. She slowly shifted her gaze up meeting Siyeon's flirty eyes then looking down at her finger that was sitting in between her teeth just adding that touch of sexiness. She looked at the other picture and it wasn't much of a change, but the angle was definitely better.

Realizing what she was doing, she wanted to hit herself as she was sitting there deciding which picture she found better as if that mattered in this situation.

She wasn't sure what to do. Does she text her back? Does she go to her room? Does she send a picture back? Does she actually have a chance with Siyeon? Is this really happening?

A small smile formed on her lips at the thought of that and she just decided to text back.

[Bora <3]  
 _Siyeon...  
I don't really know what to say to that..._

Siyeon came back from the toilet and heard the texts coming through. She smiled thinking of all the possible replies her girlfriend would have sent. She lied down on her tummy and opened the text. A huge wave of panic crashed into her.

She quickly sat up eyes not leaving Bora's texts. She checked three times and no, she actually sent those to "Bora <3", not "Boo <3", the name she saved her girlfriend in her contact list.

_I'm so fucking stupid.  
Why did I rush?!  
This is not happening._

Her phone distracted her from those thoughts as Bora's new texts were flowing in.

[Bora <3]  
 _Siyeon I can see you've read my texts...  
Are you in your room? Do you want me to come over?_

Bora thought she might as well shoot her shot. She won't get a better chance than this. If Siyeon was throwing herself like this onto her, it obviously meant something, right?

"Oh my god, no, no, no..." Siyeon exhaled reading the new texts and put her phone down. She put her face into her hands feeling embarrassed to the point where she just wanted to ignore Bora for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately for her, Bora was persistent.

[Bora <3]  
 _I'm coming over._

Reading that, Siyeon could feel her heartbeat in her throat as she rose to her feet fast and ran to the door. She pressed her shoulder against it and as Bora tried to open the door, she pushed it back not letting her in.

"Siyeon, what are you doing?"

Bora tried again, but with no luck. The door was only slightly open.

"Please don't, I'm so embarrassed..."

Siyeon couldn't look her in the eye so she was hiding behind the door not wanting to make eye contact. She just stared at the floor and Bora gave up trying to come in.

"You could talk about it, you know?" Bora said it with the most sincere and warm tone ever. She was looking at the little gap in the door and if she wanted to catch Siyeon off balance and burst in, she could. But the other girl was obviously so overwhelmed with the situation, she let it be.

So, since Siyeon didn't answer, Bora just spoke again quietly.

"If it makes you feel any better, you look really hot in those pictures..." She grinned and Siyeon on the other side of the door forgot how to breathe as the embarrassment in her just grew and grew suffocating her.

"Bora, I-"

"Look, it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm a bit flustered myself, but I'm here if you want to talk about it."

Siyeon heard Bora's footsteps fade away as she was walking further from her room. She fully closed the door and exhaled closing her eyes.

Talk about it? Talk about what exactly? That she didn't mean to send it to her? That she was hiding a girlfriend for the last few months? That she liked girls? That maybe Bora liked girls as well?

All these questions were frustrating Siyeon because she gave up on Bora a long time ago. She was too afraid of being straightforward with her and her feelings towards her. She didn't want to ruin everything in between them. Her last conclusion was that Bora was a straight girl that liked to joke around making others feel uncomfortable. But now, with the way she reacted to those pictures, Siyeon couldn't help but wonder what could've been. She felt like she had missed her chance.

She let out another long breath and ran her fingers through her hair not knowing what to do. Lying in bed trying to forget about it all seemed like a good idea, so she did just that.

In the other room, Bora was in her bed just staring at those pictures of Siyeon. She told the girls in the living room that she was too tired to continue watching. She would much rather watch Siyeon's breasts.

As much as she tried not to, she just couldn't get enough as her eyes were scanning Siyeon's body. She didn't think Siyeon would be this bold to send her something like this. They never really talked about their sexuality, but she always felt there was something in the air between her and Siyeon. Something more than just platonic love.

Bora zoned out thinking of the past trying to pinpoint a time Siyeon could've hinted that she liked girls, but her brain wasn't working as she stared at the pair of breasts on her phone.

She nearly got a heart attack when Yoohyeon got into the room, that her phone slipped out of her hands falling on the floor.

Yoohyeon chuckled and went to pick it up when Bora screamed and dived for it head first, leaving her short legs on the bed. She grabbed it before Yoohyeon could, making the taller girl stand back up confused at her actions. Bora barely got back into her bed and sighed in relief.

"Damn, okay, I just wanted to help." Yoohyeon put her hands up in defense and got up into her bunk. Bora giggled a bit to try to ease the weird tension from what just happened.

"What are you hiding? Naked pictures?" Yoohyeon joked and Bora was happy she couldn't see her face right now.

"Uh, yes. Wanna see?" She knew that using reverse psychology would save her from the situation as Yoohyeon whined a 'no' and was grossed out.

Bora saved Siyeon's pictures in a special folder putting a password on it just in case. Siyeon might send her more. 

She hated how excited she got at that thought. Maybe, she should send one back? To make it fair? Siyeon was probably too embarrassed at this point to ask anyway.

Her eyes glanced at the bunk above and Yoohyeon was quiet, so, she was either on her phone or asleep, there was no way she would climb down now. She pulled her privacy curtain that she made to block out the sun, but it was useful for situations like this.

She took off the top off her pyjamas and looked down at her chest.

_God, what am I even doing..._

She sighed opening her camera, but then she put her phone down.

_Should I take off my pants as well?_

She grinned devilishly. There was no point in being shy anymore, Siyeon obviously liked her enough to send her that. Might as well go with it.

She took off her pants leaving her body covered only by her red underwear. She turned around on her side and the small night light in her bunk illuminated her body just enough for the picture to turn out the way she wanted to.

She sent it to Siyeon with a "wish you were here..." text to follow along. Instead of dressing herself, she just put the duvet over her, genuinely hoping Siyeon would actually come over and hopefully, Yoohyeon would be asleep by then.

Siyeon was texting back and forth with her girlfriend and she abruptly stopped when Bora sent her text. Her eyes followed the beautiful curve of Bora's body starting from her shoulder down to her waist then back up to her hip. She couldn't help herself, but to zoom in on her breasts. They were bigger than she imagined them to be.

Licking her lips, she read her text over and over again feeling her entire body getting hotter each second.

_This is getting out of hand._

She never got over Bora. She was crushing on her since day one. Her long-distance relationship was slowly tearing her apart as it was getting way too difficult to see each other, but how could she cheat on her girlfriend just like that.

Siyeon's heart and mind were playing what seemed a never-ending chess game and before she knew it, she was texting Bora back.

[Siyeon <3]  
 _Is Yoohyeon asleep?_

[Bora <3]  
 _I think so._

Siyeon got surprised by the fast reply. Bora was as desperate as her. Being in your twenties so secluded from meeting new people and not being able to date at all because of what you do was so frustrating. People have their needs and want to have that special someone. Siyeon felt those rules were inhuman and she didn't feel bad for breaking them. It wouldn't be such a surprise if a lot of people felt lonely at night.

She exhaled and pressed her lips together still fighting with what was right and what was wrong. Back and forth her mind telling her not to do it and her heart fighting against it. The long-distance relationship was hard enough, she could barely see her girlfriend and with Bora... She'd be right here with her.

She was rubbing her temple with her fingers thinking between her options. Deep down inside, she knew there was only one for her.

[Bora <3]  
 _Siyeon baby, please come over..._

Reading that, she could feel that swelling feeling inside her chest making her entire body tense up. She tapped on Bora's picture again and nibbled on her lip nervously.

_Oh, fuck it._

She was soon out of her room in her oversized shirt covering her underwear. She opened the door of the two roommates as quietly as she could. She walked over to Bora's bed on her tiptoes hearing Yoohyeon snore quietly.

Bora sat up wrapping her hands around Siyeon's thighs under her ass cheeks pulling her body onto hers. Siyeon got on top of her and crashed her lips into Bora's without any second thoughts. She made peace with herself already. This was it, there was no going back. This was what she always wanted, what she dreamed about.

As if Bora could hear her thoughts, she pulled aggressively on Siyeon's shirt making her press her body against Bora's. Perhaps kissing her was wrong for so many reasons, but it felt so right. It felt so right to kiss her sweet lips, to feel them move against hers.

Siyeon slid her hand on Bora's breast earning a quiet, hopeless moan into her mouth. She was hungrily kissing Bora as pure lust was taking over her.

"I've been waiting for this for so long..." She whispered and leaned down to kiss Bora's neck that was so inviting. She began to suck on it, moving from spot to spot, knowing it would leave hickeys on her beautiful, pale skin. Bora shut her eyes at the pleasure and was surprised how natural all of this came to Siyeon.

"Is it that why you sent me the pictures?"

Siyeon squeezed her breast not wanting to answer right now. She couldn't. It would ruin the whole mood. It would ruin everything she patiently waited for.

She moved back up to Bora's lips tasting them again. It was like she was intoxicated by them. Their tongues explored each other's mouths and everything turns into a sloppy mess as they were both getting desperate for more. Bodies grinded against each other making the bed squeak a bit by all the reckless movement.

"Uhh... Bora, what are you doing... Go to sleep."

The girls stopped moving as they heard a sleepy groan from the bunk above and the bed above shift as Yoohyeon sat up. Bora put her hand over Siyeon's mouth eyes staring wide into hers.

"I'm just trying to find the perfect sleeping position."

She felt Siyeon smile against her hand and she reciprocated one back to her feeling herself calm down a bit. She felt so comfortable with Siyeon. She couldn't understand why they have waited this long to finally get together. 

"Ugh, I have to pee..." Yoohyeon sighed and started climbing down the bunk bed. Because of moments like these, Bora was thankful for the day she installed that privacy curtain to cover her bunk. She quickly turned off her light just in case. Siyeon's gaze was getting too intense anyway.

They heard Yoohyeon leave and Bora removed her hand off Siyeon's mouth. She leaned down right away to kiss Bora again.

"Damn, you really want me..." Bora fed her ego and chuckled breaking the kiss.

"I want to do a lot more things with you..."

Somehow Siyeon's voice sounded even hotter in pitch-black darkness and Bora caught herself getting turned on more.

"Like?" She barely let out and Siyeon showed her immediately what she meant by slowly sliding her hand down Bora's tummy.

"Like this..."

Bora flexed her tummy feeling Siyeon's fingers dance on it and Siyeon smiled feeling her abs. She stopped before entering her underwear and placed a soft kiss on her jaw.

"Have you done this before?" She asked quietly leaving kisses down her neck as she waited for the answer that took a second too long.

"No... I mean... Alone yes, but..." Bora couldn't finish the sentence and Siyeon smiled at her honest confession. She was always the one with sexual jokes and naughty hands. Being a virgin probably felt like a burden to her, but Siyeon was ready to change that right now.

"I'm usually more skillful, but since we have to be quiet..." A chuckle left Siyeon's mouth making Bora confused.

"Wh-What do you mean usually?" Bora asked anxiously as her thoughts were running wild. Siyeon pressed her other hand on Bora's mouth. Not too hard, but enough to keep her quiet for what was about to happen. They don't need to scar Yoohyeon once she would come back.

"I'll explain everything in the morning... Right now, I just want you." She whispered desperately into Bora's ear feeling her faint moan against her hand as she slid her hand deeper into her underwear finally being able to fulfill that craving of hers.

Cheating was never okay, and Siyeon knew that very well, yet she couldn't stop herself.

Bora was right here to keep. And now, after all those years, she wouldn't let her go.


	21. "Change is annoyingly difficult."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: November 22, 2019   
> Warnings: none

Staring outside the train window, Siyeon was listening to music and tapping her finger on the table to the rhythm of the song. She was finally moving away from home to chase her dreams. She passed her audition and was accepted into the Happy Face Entertainment company as a trainee.

From now on, she would live in Seoul and would start her journey. Her parents found an ad, someone was looking for a roommate, and they have helped her sort out everything. She was only 17 so she was thankful to her parents for always being there for her, ready to help at any given moment.

She exhaled a deep breath and began thinking of the apartment she would live in. She wasn't there when her parents went over to talk to the girl living there.

_What was her name again? Kim Boa? Kim Bora? Something like that._

They have said that she was polite and nice, so hopefully, they would get along well. The last thing Siyeon wanted was an annoying, bitchy roommate.

With that in mind, Siyeon opened her texts and began texting that Boa girl.

[Siyeon new roomie!]  
 _Hey Boa, I'll be at the station in like 30 minutes, we are meeting there, right?_

[Kim Boa roommate]  
 _Hey! Yes, I'll wait for you there :)_

[Siyeon new roomie!]  
 _Awesome, see you :)_

[Kim Boa roommate]  
 _Btw, I'm Bora, not Boa lol_

[Siyeon new roomie!]  
 _Crap... sorry Bora! :/_

_Boa, Bora, eh, close enough_. Siyeon shook her head smiling and quickly edited her contact name making sure the mistake wouldn't happen again.

[Kim BoRa roommate]  
 _It's okay!  
Text me again when you get here :)_

[Siyeon new roomie!]  
 _I will :)_

Siyeon exited the app and placed her phone in her lap. Bora seemed friendly enough. Perhaps, moving wouldn't be too bad.

\--

Arriving at the station, Siyeon stepped outside and looked around a bit lost. Soon there was a huge crowd of people surrounding her and she just needed to get out. She pushed through and looked around searching for Bora. Siyeon texted her the details, but she didn't even know how Bora looked like and it was making her anxious. All her parents said was that she was a pretty girl with black hair. That could be literally any girl here.

She ran her fingers through her hair, eyes going left-right, and soon a hand grabbed her arm from the side making her turn her head towards the person.

"Looking like a lost puppy already, aren't you?" Bora smiled at Siyeon and at first, Siyeon wasn't sure if that was really her, new roommate, or some creepy girl. Bora realized Siyeon being uncomfortable by her touch so she let go of her arm.

"You're Bora?" Siyeon asked looking at her a bit suspicious. _Black hair? Check. Pretty girl? Definitely check._

"I see you learned my name, great!" She chuckled and made Siyeon blush. _Yes, that was definitely Bora._

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that..." Siyeon rubbed the back of her neck with her hand and smiled embarrassedly by the mistake from earlier on.

"Hi So-Ri, I'm Bora! Nice to finally meet you!" She took her hand out and Siyeon shook it rolling her eyes.

"Is our first interaction really going to be a dumb dad joke, oh my god..."

Bora laughed watching Siyeon cringe and frown.

"But yes, hi, I'm Siyeon, actually." She realized she was still holding her hand so she let it go. She was already making a fool out of herself; she didn't need to be clingy as well.

"You're like, really pretty." Bora spoke and scanned Siyeon's face. Her parents showed her a picture of Siyeon on their phone, but in person, she looked even cuter.

Siyeon furrowed her eyebrows and leaned down her head closer to Bora as she didn't hear what she said because of the train and all the announcements going on. That made Bora panic a bit and she got overwhelmed.

"Erm... I asked, have you been to the city?" She spoke louder and Siyeon made an "oh" hearing her now and nodded.

"Yeah, a few times actually, but I don't know much really." She pouted and looked around the big train station. It was so busy here; it was making her head spin by all the noise.

"I'll show you around, don't worry! Come on, let's go to your new home!" Bora took her hand and Siyeon followed her, excited and nervous at the same time.

Her new life was just about to start.

\--

"Ta-dah!"

Bora walked in and Siyeon followed her carrying her suitcase. She looked around Bora's place. Well, their place now.

Everything was a bit cramped, but that was normal in Korea, Seoul especially. You couldn't really find anything bigger for a decent price of rent. Nevertheless, it still looked really nice.

She walked over to the middle of the room seeing the small kitchen to her right and to her left a door probably leading to the bathroom. Walking around, she saw a bed in the corner on the floor, a closet and a small table next to it and on the wall a tv. Siyeon didn't need much, all of this was good enough.

Bora stepped closer and noticed Siyeon's gaze lingering on the bed a bit longer than with the rest of the things in the room.

"Erm, hope it won't be much of a problem. Your parents said that they don't mind." Bora chuckled and Siyeon smiled looking at her.

"Yeah, because you're not a guy."

Bora grinned. She would never accept a guy she didn't know personally to live with her. Who knew what could happen. With girls, it was different; plus, Siyeon seemed sweet.

"So... How do you like it? I'm a bit of a clean freak, so don't worry, it will stay this clean." Bora laughed wiping her finger on a cupboard. She looked at it smirking seeing no dust. Siyeon rested her hands on her hips and looked around the apartment again taking everything in.

"It's really cute and nice. Thanks, Bora, for making me your roommate." Siyeon looked over at Bora who waved her hand at her.

"Please! Make yourself at home, because it's yours now as well." Siyeon smiled at her kind words and carried her suitcase over to the bed starting to unpack. She brought over so many clothes, she didn't know how it all fitted into her small suitcase.

"I cleaned out my closet, so you get your equal half." Bora said while walking over and opening the closet. Siyeon nodded and her eyes fell on Bora's neatly placed clothes. Hopefully, Siyeon being a complete mess when it came to order wouldn't make Bora too mad.

\--

"Wanna watch a movie and just like, get to know each other a bit better?" Bora suggested which Siyeon gladly accepted. She was interested in her roommate, what she likes, what she dislikes, just things about her. She didn't want her roommate to be a total stranger. It would be perfect if they could actually become good friends.

Bora made them some popcorn and found a movie to watch, but it served more as background noise since the girls were too immersed in getting to know each other to pay full attention to what's going on on the screen.

"So, you're 17, right?" Bora grabbed a handful of popcorn and Siyeon smiled doing the same looking at the screen for a second.

"Yes, I'm a baby."

Bora smiled and turned to look at Siyeon. She sure was with those chubby cheeks.

"I'm 18. Practically a grandma, everything hurts already." She sighed and rubbed her back.

"You're in college if I remember correctly?" Siyeon asked and looked at her curiously. Bora was probably studying something and the rent got too much so she looked for a roommate. It would make sense.

"Oh, no!" Bora chuckled at the thought of her studying. She wasn't a bad student in the past, but school just wasn't her thing.

"I'm a trainee at a K-pop company." She winked and threw popcorn in her mouth. Siyeon sat up more, intrigued now completely. 

"Wait, really? Where?" Raising her eyebrows, Siyeon anticipated Bora's answer like it was a matter of life or death.

"Happy Face Entertainment. Not really a big-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Siyeon cut her off and had her jaw on the floor.

"Whaaat?" Bora smiled nervously and stared at Siyeon's mouth frozen open before it moved again to answer.

"I've been accepted there! That's why I'm here! I'm a trainee as well!" Siyeon almost yelled and kept staring at Bora still shocked.

"Holy fuck, no way!" Bora spat some popcorn out making them both laugh, but the attention was quickly back on the topic.

"What a coincidence! But wait, my parents said you were a student!" Siyeon was confused as she suddenly remembered what they told her. She saw Bora grinning and looking away at the tv screen.

"Sometimes, you gotta present yourself in the best possible light."

Siyeon just stared at her before a laugh left her mouth.

"I'm living with an actual liar!"

Bora hit her shoulder and Siyeon whined laughing. 

"Stop! It was a minor lie. They said they had a daughter and I didn't care for the rest. I just wanted a girl with me, not a creepy dude." Bora shivered at the thought and Siyeon giggled imagining Bora acting all nice in front of her parents.

"Well, that actually makes sense, so you get a pass."

Bora smiled and bowed down as a 'thank you'.

"Hey, if you're down we could go out eat something and I'll show you around. The city is really cool at night."

Finishing her popcorn, Siyeon rose to her feet and clapped excitedly. "Yes! Let's go!"

\--  
  
Bora woke up to hearing Siyeon sniff. She waited for a second before confirming what she thought. She turned around to look at Siyeon's back turned to her.

"Siyeon, are you crying? What's wrong?"

Siyeon closed her eyes and cursed at herself inside her head. She hated being emotional in front of people. Maybe Bora shouldn't have given her a few shots of her Soju. 

"I'm fine, don't worry, go back to sleep."

Bora scooted over sitting up behind her and placed her hand on her shoulder gently rubbing it.

"I'm here for you. If you want to tell me..."

Siyeon sighed and turned around lying on her back and looked up at Bora with teary eyes. Bora couldn't see much in the darkness, but she could hear her sad voice.

"I'm just... Feeling a bit homesick already. I just remembered that this is actually happening and there's no going back. I don't know how I'll manage without my parents."

"Change is annoyingly difficult." Bora smiled as she wiped Siyeon's tears gently with her fingers. "It's perfectly normal how you feel. That just means you care about your family and that you love them a lot. Hell, it would be crazy if you didn't miss them."

Siyeon bit her lip upper lip trying not to cry again and felt comfort in Bora's thumb caressing her cheek.

"Did you..." Siyeon started speaking quietly through her sniffs. Instead of speaking, Bora gave her time to try that again.

"Did you cry? When you first moved here?"

"Oh, you bet!" Bora snorted and laughed instantly remembering her first days here.

"I was crying myself to sleep every night. All I wanted to was go back home. I was lying here on this same bed all alone and sad. I was like this..." Bora began imitating herself crying and exaggerating the scene making Siyeon laugh.

"But I knew I just had to push through and it made me stronger. It will be hard Siyeon, it's perfectly okay to cry, but just keep thinking why you're here in the first place. If you focus on the goal you set in your mind, everything else will be easier."

Siyeon nodded hearing her words. Bora was right. Crying was okay, but nothing will stop her from achieving her dreams

"You're right."

They smiled at each other and Bora ran her thumb once more against Siyeon's cheek.

"Do you want to cuddle?"

Siyeon was a bit taken back by that, but cuddling actually sounded like a great idea. She didn't say anything just nodded again.

Bora lied back down and Siyeon moved closer placing her head under Bora's neck. Siyeon shut her eyes when Bora's small hand got tangled into her hair and began slowly rubbing her head in perfect rhythm making Siyeon sleepy.

"Thank you, Bora."

Bora turned her head and gently placed a kiss on Siyeon's forehead. She wrapped her arms around her making Siyeon smile into her shoulder.

They've only just met a couple of hours ago; maybe it was the alcohol dancing in her veins, but to Siyeon, it felt like they've known each other for years.

This was really a start of a beautiful friendship, that would hopefully last for many, many years.


	22. "We could have a chance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: November 25, 2019   
> Warnings: none

"Everyone ready?!" Bora yelled from the kitchen as she placed her laptop on the table and sat at it. Soon, the rest of the girls joined her, and Siyeon was nervously biting her lip.

"Fuck, I really hope it turned out well." She sat next to Bora and stared at the YouTube video that they were about to watch. Minji placed her hands on Siyeon's shoulders and squeezed them lightly.

"I bet it will!"

Siyeon smiled a bit and placed her hand over Minji's. Her touch was always special.

"Come on, Bora, click play!" Yoohyeon reached over trying to unpause the video and Bora slapped her hand away making her giggle.

She exhaled deeply and took Siyeon's free hand which the younger girl appreciated. She clicked play and all eyes were glued to the screen as they watched Siyeon and Bora sing and dance. They finally got their special clip for their Sayonara Hitori collab.

Both girls watched themselves carefully and Bora's eyes were scanning every move trying to find a mistake in the choreo, but she couldn't find anything as the video went on.

The other girls made comments and hyped them up which made Siyeon smile a bit and it got her reassurance that she did well. Dancing with Bora was amazing, she was the perfect teacher and a perfect dance partner, but if you couldn't follow her, she would completely outshine you, and the whole video would be really bad and not worth putting out.

As the screen faded to black everyone was clapping and Bora wrapped her arm around Siyeon giving her a big, loud smooch on the cheek.

"Good job!"

Siyeon giggled at the smooch and leaned back into the chair when Bora let go of her.

"We should go for drinks later! To celebrate." Bora suggested looking into Siyeon's eyes. Siyeon smiled and got ready to answer before she was cut off.

"Awesome! You're paying!" Gahyeon clapped her hands already excited. She had been craving some alcohol in her system. They barely get the chance to go out and have some fun so this was the perfect opportunity.

"And why do you think I'm talking to you, I only meant my little Siyeon and me."

The girls rolled their eyes at the blatant favoritism, and Siyeon blushed looking away as she couldn't hide her smile.

Gahyeon gave a completely opposite reaction and crossed her arms. "Oh, come on! You're supposed to treat us all! We're a group!"

Bora shrugged at that. "Maybe another time, tonight, I just want Siyeon." She winked at Gahyeon knowing it would make her more upset.

"Not fair. I'll ask the manager to do a special clip with you!"

Bora raised her eyebrows and wheezed. "Yeah, good luck with that, kiddo."

Everyone laughed and Yubin patted Gahyeon's head as she sulked away.

The girls started leaving the room and Bora stood up.

"Bora?"

She turned around hearing Siyeon call for her. She raised her eyebrows waiting for her to talk.

"When do you wanna go? I'd like to eat something as well..." Siyeon pouted and was pinching her hand nervously.

"Of course we'll eat as well silly. Seven sounds good?"

Siyeon smiled brightly and nodded quickly. "Yes, perfect."

\--

As they waited for their order, Bora placed her elbows on the table and intertwined her hands resting her chin on them. She looked across the table at Siyeon. She was busy looking around the restaurant and was glad they agreed on casual clothes because everyone here seemed to be dressed similarly to them. She could feel a pair of eyes on her so she turned her head to face Bora.

"What?" Siyeon said and blinked.

"Nothing. I was just admiring how beautiful you are."

Siyeon leaned back in the seat and put her hand over her face. A shy smile was peeking between her fingers.

"Bora, stop, oh my god..." She felt her cheeks burning from embarrassment.

"But it's true! I watched you grow into this beautiful woman that you are today and you're so talented and I'm just a little bit emotional because of our video."

Siyeon pulled herself together and dared to look at the other girl who was just spitting compliments after compliments.

"Bora, I swear just stop before I start to cry... Save it for later though." Siyeon winked and Bora laughed and wanted to throw her glass at her making Siyeon giggle and put her arms up in defense.

"But thank you. It really means a lot coming from you." Siyeon stared at her with a serious expression and Bora gave her a warm smile. The eye contact could've been longer if the waiter didn't break it off by bringing over their food and drinks.

\--

The conversation was flowing well and they kept ordering more and more drinks. Siyeon took another sip and felt the alcohol burn down her throat.

"Bora, I'm so tipsyy..." Siyeon giggled and leaned back in her seat putting her hand on her head. Meanwhile, Bora was too focused on chugging the rest of her drink.

"Hey, let's go to the karaoke room! It's right downstairs!" Siyeon exclaimed jumping in her seat knocking down her glass with her hand. The girls laughed and Bora scanned their table looking at all the empty bottles. She didn't remember the last time she drank this much, but it was definitely a lot of fun.

"Boraaaaa, come on!" Siyeon was giggling from all the alcohol and tried to grab Bora's arm across the table.

"Wait, stupid! I, I gotta paay!" Bora yelled and started waving like a mad man to catch the attention of the waiter while Siyeon tried to balance a fork on her finger.  
  
"Oh, oh, oh! Bora, Bora, Bora! Look, look, look!" Siyeon shouted as she finally got it to balance, but as soon as Bora turned her head, the fork slipped off falling on the floor making a loud sound that got other people to turn around and say something under their breath.

"Ooppsie!" Siyeon laughed and leaned down trying to find the fork, but she was so out of it, her fingers weren't working and she was just getting blood in her head.

The waiter finally arrived and Bora handed him her whole wallet and he just stared at her confused.

"Oh, right." Bora giggled and took it back. She opened it up and handed the waiter a bunch of money. She wasn't sure how much she gave him, but he seemed fine with it as he left.

"Siyeeeon, let's go sing, what are you dooing!" Bora stood up feeling dizzy and grabbed her bag. Siyeon sat back up with the fork in her hand.

"Bad Mr. Fork! Bad, bad!"

She wanted to talk more to her new friend, but Bora pulled her up by the arm and Siyeon put Mr. Fork into her bag. She would have a word with him later.

They didn't know how, but they managed to walk downstairs without getting hurt. Bora, however, stumbled and the gravity made her sit on the stairs which left both girls laughing. Siyeon pulled her up and they bought more drinks and went into one of the free rooms.

"I'll beat your ass!" Bora pointed at Siyeon who put her hand up all sassy.

"I'm sorry, who's the main vocal here? Oh right, it's me! Me and Mr. Fork!" She shouted and tried to pick a song from the library, but the bright colors were making her more confused on how to control the screen.

"Yooo... Who's Mr. Fork?" Bora looked dumbfounded at Siyeon and opened the bottle of the liquor to drink a bit.

"Watch and learn, loser!"

\--

Both girls sang the song and Siyeon beat her by a lot which got Bora to whine and slap the screen trying to change the score. Siyeon finished up the bottle and placed it down. Her whole body was burning and she just wanted to take off her clothes and jump into cold water.

"Yoooo, Siyeeeon! We should sing a duet song! Come on!"

Siyeon chose a random song and Bora was standing on the couch wobbling from side to side and yelling into the mic. Siyeon shouted the words and soon, nothing that came out of their mouths were coherent sounds. All of that made them tired and the alcohol was still dancing in their veins.

Still, on the couch, Bora got down on her knees and passionately slurred the words as the song went on. At the best part of the song, Siyeon got closer and they held the note looking at each other and just before it ended Siyeon grabbed Bora's mic moving it away and crashed her lips into Bora's. 

"Why are you kissing mee..." Bora dropped her head back looking at the ceiling and started laughing.

"Because I feel like itttt!"

Siyeon waited for Bora to look at her again as she wrapped her arms around Bora's body and kissed her again. Bora giggled into the kiss and moved her head to the side again breaking off their lips.

"Stooopp...Oh my god... Siyeon!" She stared at her and didn't know if she was just really wasted or if Siyeon suddenly looked very, very sexy.

"What's wrong?" Siyeon stared back at her, but her gaze kept falling to Bora's smiling lips. Alcohol always made her too emotional and she just wanted to make out with Bora right now. 

"We're just gonna kiss, just like that..." Bora looked down at Siyeon's lips that were now were inviting after tasting them once.

"Yes, why? You don't like it?" Siyeon raised her eyebrows and smirked.

"I do..." Bora grabbed Siyeon's shirt pulling her closer again making their hot bodies press against each other. Siyeon held Bora's head by her cheeks and parted her lips connecting them again with Bora's. 

The kiss was a sloppy, drunk mess. Their movement was being guided by the alcohol as their tongues rolled around each other tasting the strong, bitter taste of the liquor. Siyeon's hands moved down to Bora's waist holding her tightly against her. Bora pulled away and still had her eyes closed.

"I need to breathe..."

They leaned their foreheads against each other and felt the whole room spin as their bodies were wobbly.

"Kiss me more."

Siyeon felt Bora's breath on her lips as she spoke and leaned in kissing those puffy lips again. In normal circumstances, if they were sober and for some reason decided to kiss, she would bite Bora's bottom lip gently, but being the drunk mess she was, she bit too hard making Bora let out a painful shriek.

"Ow!" Bora put her fingers to her lips and tasted blood on her tongue.

"You literally made me bleed stupid!" She slapped Siyeon's shoulder a bit too hard making her lose balance and fall on the floor and the room got filled with drunk laughter again.

\--

The taxi ride back there was surprisingly good as they were too tired to talk. They were cuddling on the backseat and would almost fall asleep if it wasn't for the nice driver to tell them that they've arrived at their destination.

"We should just crash here." Bora took Siyeon's hand and started walking to the living room and the other girl followed her.

They bumped into everything in sight as they fell on the couch kissing again. Clothes were leaving their bodies slowly one by one leaving the girls only in their underwear. They didn't need to talk about anything. It just felt natural to be kissing each other's lips. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe there were some deeper, hidden feelings. For now, they didn't care about the reason.

\--

At the state she was in, Bora didn't care that Siyeon was lying directly on her bare breasts. She mentioned them being a comfortable pillow for her head.

They were so exhausted from the night and the whole make-out session, they were ready to fall asleep and deal with everything in the morning.

"Hey, Bora... Would you date me?" Siyeon suddenly asked breaking the silence.

"Date you?" Bora had her eyes shut already drifting off to sleep. Siyeon nodded against her chest.  
  
"May...be..." Bora's words slipped out sleepily as she fell asleep.

Siyeon listened to Bora's heartbeat as her chest moved up and down in a slow rhythm.

"We could have a chance." She quietly spoke before she drifted to sleep as well.

\--

As the next morning came, Bora woke up to the most painful headache ever. She looked around squinting as the whole room was bright because of the sun shining through the windows. She soon realized Siyeon fast asleep on her with her head resting on her naked chest. She started to freak out when she realized she didn't have her bra on. Her breathing got faster and she tried to shift up her body.

"What the fuck happened..." She muttered to herself. She rubbed Siyeon's arm hurriedly to wake her up. Siyeon groaned turning her head to the other side. Bora almost screamed and her eyes grew in horror when Siyeon's lips got right next to her nipple.

"Siyeon, oh my god, wake up!" She quickly spoke and used all of her strength to move up on her elbows.

Siyeon lifted herself a bit and stared at Bora with sleepy eyes confused by all the movement. She looked down and saw Bora's breasts right under her. She widened her eyes and moved her gaze back to Bora's shocked eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but Bora was quicker.

"Fucking move off already!" She whined and Siyeon quickly got off her. Bora pulled the blanket over herself covering her exposed chest. Siyeon looked down at herself and was relieved that she was still in her underwear.

"Bora..."

"Don't even. None of this happened." Bora looked around the couch and found a shirt crumpled up and put it on.

Siyeon knew it was actually her shirt, but she didn't want to tell her to embarrass her even further. Instead, she rubbed her head feeling the pain only growing stronger. The last thing she remembered was Bora almost falling down the stairs. There was also something about a fork, but her brain couldn't make out whatever that was.

"Good morning! How- Daamn, why is your lip purple?!"

The girls turned their heads towards Minji who just walked into the room. She was staring at Bora's lips and leaned closer to get a better look. Bora licked her lips feeling a sting as her tongue touched the scar. She put her finger on it.

"I don't know, I-" She suddenly stopped talking and turned her head slowly to Siyeon. Siyeon looked back at her without reaction. She stared into Bora's eyes and it finally hit her.

"Holy shit..." Siyeon put her hand over her mouth and looked at Bora's lips then at Minji then back at Bora.

Bora's lips gave up on her as they twitched a bit at the unreal, bizarre situation from yesterday and she tried to hold back a laugh that was building up in her throat. Siyeon watched her and began smiling before both girls burst out laughing.

"What! Why are you laughing! Tell me!" Minji whined but smiled as she watched Siyeon rolling on the couch holding her tummy and Bora hiding under the blanket. They laughed until tears came out and their stomach hurt begging them to stop, but they just couldn't. It was too funny. Too bizarre. Too wrong.

Minji gave up completely waving her hand at them and leaving them alone. She would ask them later about that night. A night Bora and Siyeon thought they would forget, but it would be imprinted in their brains forever.

\--

Later that day, Siyeon was going through her bag when something stung her.

"Ow!"

She pulled her hand quickly out of the bag and furrowed her eyebrows. Did a bee get into her bag? Or some other bug?

She grabbed the bag turning it upside down and started shaking it. She watched the content of the bag fall on the bed.

Her pocket mirror, her dorm keys, her earbuds, Yoohyeon's pen that she stole from her, a fork, some coupons, her lipstick.

"Wait, what?"

She put the bag down and picked up the silver fork. She examined it thoroughly and smiled widely when she realized.

"Boraaaa! I found Mr. Fork!!!" 


	23. "You can't give more than yourself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: November 25, 2019   
> Warnings: none

"Bora, are we there yet?" Siyeon whined like a child as she followed Bora through the snowy path leading to somewhere unknown to her.

Bora didn't want to tell her anything. She just said she wanted to take her somewhere special for their anniversary. As much as Siyeon was a romantic soul and always appreciated Bora's efforts, being in the middle of nowhere, up in the mountains, deep into a snowy forest, wasn't really what she had in mind. They have been walking for years and her backpack was too heavy as she packed way too many things. The snow was also slowly annoying her and she just wanted to get it over with. 

"Tell me again why I keep up with your impatient ass?" Bora said smiling and not stopping her tempo.

She suddenly took a sharp right deeper into the woods. She still remembered the way like she was a little girl again. As they walked, all the memories came back to her. She missed those times so much and to be able to be here with Siyeon made her heart full. 

"Because you love me." The smug that appeared on Siyeon's face soon disappeared when a tree branch poked her forehead. She groaned rubbing the spot and felt the snow get watery on her fingers. 

"Baby, come here." 

Bora's voice made her lift her head and look at her. She was holding her scarf up.

"But, I'm not cold?" Siyeon furrowed her eyebrows as Bora turned her around and covered her eyes with it, using it as a blindfold.

"We're really close now and I want it to be a surprise, so no peeking!"

Siyeon sighed in defeat and nodded. "Okay, I trust you not to kill me out here in these creepy woods." 

Bora laughed at her ridiculous comment and guided her carefully through the path making sure she didn't slip or walk into a tree.

A few minutes later and a few more annoying cries from Siyeon, they have finally arrived. Bora stared at it for a bit taking it all in before she placed her hands on the blindfold around Siyeon's eyes.

"Ready?" She whispered into Siyeon's ear and the other girl nodded happily.

Bora let the scarf slid off Siyeon's head slowly making her eyes open instantly. She could feel her lungs letting out a breath of amazement. She didn't know where to look first. Her wide eyes stared at a modern two-story cabin situated by the lakefront of a beautiful, now frozen lake that was surrounded by snowy mountains.

Siyeon was completely speechless as she just gazed around taking everything fully in. She felt Bora's arms find their way around her body, leaning into her side. Siyeon put her arm around her and was still so shocked. When Bora told her to pack clothes, she thought they would spend time in a hotel and not a cozy-looking cabin. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Bora stared up at Siyeon who turned her head towards Bora and kissed her once feeling their cold lips press against each other. Bora grinned and snuggled into Siyeon's chest.

"Thank you, Bora. This is really amazing..." Siyeon looked around again and held Bora close appreciating every second of this moment as they were surrounded by nothing but beautiful mother nature and all of her perks. 

\--

"So, it was basically your dad's wish?" Siyeon asked as she sat down by the table in the kitchen.

It had a modern, rustic design. This was definitely where most of Bora's money went to. Siyeon always wondered what she did with it, she kept saying she gave it to her parents. Everything made sense now. 

"Yes, he wanted me to freshen it up and modernize it a bit. But since I had no time to visit often, I just sent them money over and contacted an architect to go over everything with my parents. Remind me to show you how it looked like before, there's an album somewhere in the house." Bora pointed with her hand in the direction of the living room.

Siyeon nodded as she looked around and sipped her coffee. "What about interior design? I can see a bit of your touch in everything." She smirked raising her eyebrows and Bora nodded smilingly leaning against the counter.

"I couldn't just leave that to him. It wouldn't be this pretty and cozy." 

Siyeon rolled her eyes, but she knew Bora did an amazing job. It kinda made her want to leave the dorm and splurge on an apartment; live there with Bora and pettily argue over what furniture would be better. She loved the other girls, but living alone with her girlfriend would really be an experience. They would be all alone and could do so many things. Many, many exciting things. 

"Siyeon, are you listening?"

Siyeon blinked and shot her head up looking at Bora. "Huh? What did you say?"

Bora rolled her eyes putting her cup of hot chocolate down. "I asked if you want to go take a walk by the lake?"

"Oh... Yes, I'd love that." She smiled brightly and Bora gave her back a smile. She loves that silly girl so much.

\--

With interlocked arms and warm clothes, the girls walked by the frozen lake looking around at the blissful scenery surrounding them. The only sound was the crunchy sound made by their feet as they walked on the snow and a few clicks of their phones as they took pictures trying to capture this moment forever. Everything else was at rest.

Siyeon took a deep breath in feeling the cold air meet her lungs. It felt so refreshing from the polluted air in Seoul she was so used to.

She looked over to Bora who was looking ahead before her eyes met Siyeon's.

"Babe, can we come here more often? I'm in love already."

Bora nodded smiling and tiptoeing to kiss Siyeon.

"I'm sorry I didn't bring you here sooner, but like I said, the cabin wasn't ready yet. But I promise I'll take you more often. We could go in the spring. It's also beautiful."

"You're beautiful." Siyeon wrapped her arm gently around Bora's neck. 

Bora's lips turned into a big smile as Siyeon's words caught her off guard and a small blush graced her cold cheeks. She looked up to Siyeon with eyes full of love.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too." Siyeon grinned and leaned down connecting their lips again into a deeper kiss. They stopped walking completely and turned their bodies to face each. Bora placed her hands on Siyeon's shoulders and moved her lips against hers feeling them get warmer. Siyeon pulled her closer smiling into the kiss. She could do this all day long. 

"Enough with this sappy crap." Bora said when she pulled away which left Siyeon frowning a bit, but her face soon changed when she got hit with a snowball. Her ears were met with Bora's obnoxious laugh as she ran away quickly.

"Kim Bora, you're so dead!" Siyeon wiped the snow off her face and crouched down to make a few snowballs. She lifted her head and Bora was at a safe distance also making some. They looked at each other smiling widely like kids. Bora raised her eyebrows up and down.

"Come here, you coward."

Siyeon stood up holding her ammo ready to cover Bora with it. Bora stayed where she was and smirked. Siyeon threw one towards her, but it didn't reach.

"Pathetic." Bora snorted looking down at the snowball that was now fallen apart.

She was too busy mocking Siyeon's attempt, that she didn't realize the genius strategy behind it and her sneaking up on her and before she knew it Siyeon was firing up the snowballs at her. Bora was screaming trying to run away, but Siyeon was too close now and kept hitting her. One got into her hair and Bora shivered when she felt the cold water run down her neck and back. 

"Siyeonnn, stop!" She cried out still trying to run away while Siyeon was laughing like a maniac and didn't stop making snowballs quickly throwing them at Bora. Seeing how annoyed she got, Siyeon cursed under her breath and chuckled when Bora turned around fuming. 

"Oh, baby, come on, it ain't that deep..." Siyeon stared at her now genuinely worried she took it too far. Bora wiped the snow off her clothes and looked away. 

"Whatever."

Siyeon just stood there and watched her be mad. She walked over wanting to take Bora's hands, but instead, Bora pushed her and Siyeon fell into the fresh snow. Her jaw dropped as she looked up at Bora who was grinning. 

"Got ya, bitch!" She jumped onto her screaming and Siyeon let out a defeated laugh getting snow on her neck as well. The cold tickled her skin and moving her head only got more snow into her clothes. Bora smiled at her and Siyeon pouted. Her long black hair and beanie were completely covered in snow and she even got some on her face not yet melted away. 

"God, you're so cute." Bora said as she leaned down to kiss her. Siyeon wanted to smile but decided she wouldn't give Bora that satisfaction yet. 

"As if one compliment and a kiss could make it all better." She rolled her eyes and looked at Bora who raised her eyebrows. She waited a second before leaving kisses all over Siyeon's face making her chuckle.

"Okay, okay, you're forgiven... I guess..." She wanted to keep her act up, but it was damn hard with Bora straddling her like that. Her long, wavy, blonde hair falling over her shoulders with her rosy cheeks and nose, she looked like an ethereal angel. Siyeon thought if heaven existed, this was what it looked it. 

"Baby, why are you staring at me like that..." Bora questioned and looked into Siyeon's left then into her right eye trying to figure it out. The girl under her and pressed her mittens on Bora's cheeks making her tense up by the cold, but she didn't break eye contact. 

"It's so cold lying here and my ass is absolutely frozen, but with the way you look right now, I don't want to move."

Bora chuckled and gently punched her shoulder. "Let's go back before hungry wolves find us."

Siyeon's face changed completely hearing that. Bora got off her and helped her up.

"Are there really wolves here?" Siyeon asked shaking off the snow off her clothes and looked around. The sun was still up, but it will soon set.

She looked to the forest and gulped as she imagined a whole pack of wolves staring at them, carefully watching their every move.

"Mhm. I saw one once or twice before. But I'm just playing, it's not like they will go after us. Well, I hope, at least." Bora laughed shrugging as if it was nothing and started walking back to the cabin which looked fairly small from where they were. 

Siyeon quickly followed her, not trying to risk staying alone. She liked wolves as animals, but from afar where they couldn't eat her.

Bora realized she got her worried, so she took her hand and held it while they walked back. Siyeon always tried to act tough, but in reality, she was a big baby that liked to get taken care of.

Bora smiled at her thoughts because she wouldn't change her for the world. 

\--

When they arrived back, the inside of the cabin was a bit warmer than outside, but it was still a bit chilly.

"Siyeon, go start the bath upstairs and I'll get the fire going." Bora took off her jacket, mittens, and hat tossing them aside.

"Yes, mommy, boss me around." Siyeon smirked taking off her clothes and running her hand through her hair. 

Bora laughed and shook her head walking off into the living room.

Siyeon jogged upstairs and stopped when she saw a photo that caught her eye. Her eyes scanned it and she started smiling when she recognized the small girl. Young Bora was wearing a cute, blue dress and was smiling brightly for the camera. Siyeon thought her smile didn't change at all over the years. She kissed her fingers and placed them on the photo before walking off to the bathroom.

She let the water run into the deep bath and stared around the room. It looked like it came out some interior design magazine, with all the fancy stone and wood combination.

She touched the stone wall feeling the texture on her fingers. She remembered how Bora told her that they rent this place for the whole year. If their parents quit their regular jobs, they could easily live off only this income as it was probably expensive to rent such a beautiful place. 

"Such a business girl." She said out loud and smiled to herself as she watched steam coming out of the now hot bath.

Meanwhile, Bora got the fire going and put some more logs into the fireplace and closed off the glass doors. She brushed her hands together and walked over to the kitchen to check for some food in the freezer. She had told her father to get them loads of food just in case. And so he did as she checked inside. She nodded happily. This will sustain them for these two nights.

She took some out and closed up the door when she heard Siyeon coming down the stairs. 

"The bath is ready!" She walked over to the fireplace and put her hands towards it feeling the warmth. The cabin was already getting to a decent temperature due to the wood that held the heat in. Bora hugged her from behind and nuzzled her head into Siyeon's back.

"Well, let's go wash up then." 

\--

Feeling the hot water biting on her skin, Bora shut her eyes and leaned back against Siyeon. After all the walking today and the cold weather, this was just what she needed. If she fully let herself go, she could fall asleep in here. Siyeon hugging her and rubbing her thumb slowly against her skin wasn't helping with the idea of trying to stay awake. 

"We have to chop more wood tomorrow." Bora sleepily said still with her eyes shut and exhaled a heavy breath.

"You mean, you'll do it. I can't do shit with these nails." Siyeon tickled Bora's tummy with her nails. Bora smiled grabbing Siyeon's hand to stop her. 

"Oh, you'll do it, don't worry."

Siyeon groaned quietly and shut her eyes leaning her head back on the edge of the bath. 

"Why do you even have them so long? You never thought about having them shorter?" Bora asked making Siyeon open her eyes again.

"I don't know. I just love how they look. Kinda makes me feel powerful, you know." Siyeon giggled and Bora would roll her eyes if they were open so instead, she shook her head.

"Why do you ask though?"

Bora couldn't help but smile at Siyeon's obliviousness. The cold must have frozen her brain up. 

"Doesn't matter."

Siyeon furrowed her eyebrows and pulled a confused face as she didn't understand what Bora meant with that. She shrugged and pulled Bora closer kissing the back of her head.

They stayed for a while more before it was time to go back downstairs to eat something and cuddle on the couch in front of the fireplace.

Bora gave Siyeon a matching white bathrobe and they made their way down to the living room.   
  
"Go lie down, baby, I'll bring the food in a second." Bora said as she disappeared into the kitchen.

Siyeon stood in place for a while before slowly walking over to the couch and lying down. She pulled a blanket over her and stared at the fireplace.

A sudden wave of sadness and insecurity came over her. Bora was doing so much for her and she felt like she was just... there. Not doing anything. Not helping.

Who even was she in this relationship? How did she contribute to Bora's happiness?

Her thoughts were stabbing her heart one by one and she felt so bad, so guilty. She didn't realize that her eyes were stuck on the fire this whole time. She blinked when her gaze was interrupted by Bora putting in more wood. The flame illuminated her side profile giving her a golden glow to her pale skin and her eyes were focused on not letting the fire die out. Siyeon watched her closely and didn't even notice their dinner on the table that Bora brought over.

She had only eyes for her. 

\--

Pushing the finished plates to the side and taking off their bathrobes, they lied down in their satin sleepwear sets with Bora positioned in between Siyeon and the couch. With a soft blanket over them, they stared together at the fire. There was just something so relaxing about it. 

Bora's head rested on Siyeon's chest that was rising up and down filled with anxious feelings. 

"Bora?" Siyeon spoke softly and Bora didn't look up, only hummed.

"Am I a good girlfriend?"

Bora waited for a second before moving up, holding herself up on her arm. She stared at Siyeon surprised.

"What kinda dumb question is that?"

Siyeon sat up and met Bora's eyes before looking down at her lap. 

"It's just... All of this is so amazing, the cabin, the nature... You give me so much and you don't get much in return. I just feel like I'm such a shit girlfriend." She quickly looked up at Bora and she could feel her tears building up and her eyes fighting them back. Bora moved her leg over straddling her, cupping her face and moving her head up so those tearful eyes are looking into hers.

"Baby, you have to stop. You have to stop thinking like that."

Siyeon's face didn't change and she just looked away. She knew that perfectly well, but she still felt bad.

"You can't give more than yourself."

Siyeon just nodded slowly and shut her eyes feeling Bora's soft lips press on her forehead. 

"You give back a lot. More than you think. To me, you're perfect. Please, don't think anything less of yourself."

Siyeon nodded again still not fully convinced, but with the way these words rolled off Bora's tongue so easily, made her feel a bit better. Reassured that even though she thinks so little of herself, there was someone out there that cared for her and that someone was right in front of her, pleading her to be happy with those beautiful dark eyes.

Siyeon smiled a bit and looked down at Bora's lips wanting to kiss them. Bora noticed and leaned in connecting them.

That kiss had a lot of meaning. It said more than what Bora just said.

Pulling away Bora rested her forehead on Siyeon's with her eyes closed. 

"Let's just sleep." Siyeon said and waited for Bora to position herself as the little spoon and she put her head on Siyeon's arm.

Siyeon knew that arm would probably be dead in the morning, but she couldn't care less about it right now. Wrapping her other arm tightly around Bora and intertwining their legs, they drifted to sleep to the sound of crackling wood as it burned throughout the cold night. 

\--

Squinting her eyes due to the daylight creeping into the room, Siyeon turned her head to watch Bora still take slow breaths in and out. The queen laying on her back turned into the sleeping beauty. She looked so peaceful as the morning light detailed out all of her features that Siyeon wanted to kiss. She reached over carefully and gently brushed her hand across Bora's cheek. 

"I'll be a better girlfriend. I promise." Siyeon whispered and stayed for a while longer before getting up and putting on her bathrobe. She was taken back by how warm the cabin felt even though all the wood burned down in the night.

After she was done with the bathroom, she started making herself coffee and tea for Bora. She still didn't understand how she disliked coffee. Just the smell could make Siyeon feel high and energized. That first morning sip was always out of this world. Her loss though. 

She was focused on the drinks when she noticed something moving outside the window. She lifted her head looking out and at first, she couldn't believe it. A beautiful fallow deer with a reddish coat that was lightly covered in snow stood outside the cabin just on the edge of the forest.

Proudly wearing his royal antlers, Siyeon didn't dare to breathe at the sheer beauty of the animal. His nose moved from side to side and he slowly turned around disappearing into the trees. Siyeon stood in place not moving a muscle as this was such a surreal experience.

The boiling water begged for her attention and she shifted her gaze to the stove turning it off. Her lips pulled into a smile and she looked up again hoping to see the majestic beast again.

No luck. 

\--

Bora woke up to a strange sound coming from outside. She sat up scratching her head and she looked around.

"Siyeon?" She spoke but got no answer.

She furrowed her eyebrows as the sound didn't stop. She got up quickly putting on her bathrobe and walked over closer to the source of it. She looked through the window and saw Siyeon swinging the axe into a log and breaking it in half. Bora grinned widely placing her hand on the window.

Siyeon looked fairly attractive while chopping wood as she fixed her gray beanie taking a short break. She turned her head when she heard knocking on the window. Her face lighted up seeing her girlfriend all smiley and she dropped the axe as she jogged over to the window. She breathed on it making it foggy and drew a heart with a little backward B inside. Bora was all giggly looking at it feeling butterflies just like when they first got together.

She pressed her lips against the window and Siyeon did the same. Pulling away smiling, Bora mouthed her to come back in, but Siyeon waved her hand and pointed to the wood that she still planned to chop. Bora put her hands up and pulled a face mouthing 'sorry sorry'. Siyeon chuckled and went back to work. Bora watched her for a while and thought she better take a picture of this.

Capturing Siyeon in action and the little heart as well, she went to the kitchen and saw that Siyeon prepared a whole thermos bottle of tea with a note. 

_"For my beautiful queen that hates coffee. I love you. <3" _

Her cheeks were already burning from all the smiling, but she couldn't help, but do it again. She picked up the note and walked over to the window again seeing Siyeon working hard on the wood.

She read the note again and shut her eyes.

"Oh, Siyeon... I can't wait to be yours forever." 

\--

Siyeon hurried back inside and carried in turns a few piles of the chopped wood as the snow began to fall harder. She wanted to go for more before Bora pulled on her jacket stopping her in place.

"Baby, it's enough." She smiled and Siyeon answered her with an icy kiss. Bora could feel the cold on her face and placed her hands on her cheeks rubbing them trying to warm them up. 

"You should shower. I'll be joining you soon..." She winked seductively and Siyeon smirked.

"I'll be waiting then."

\--

Siyeon picked up her phone and immediately groaned remembering that the cabin had no Wi-Fi. Bora giggled and snuggled closer as they were sitting on the couch and watched a movie on the tv. She told her three times already that there was no internet here. It was Bora's parents' wish, which at first Bora was very against.

She soon realized how beneficial it was to just relax without worrying about constant notifications popping up. Sometimes, you need this break from the internet. Especially for them as idols. Reading comments about yourself all day, every day, can get really exhausting and unhealthy. 

"How is it for you to replace your phone with an axe?" Bora teased and took Siyeon's hand into hers.

"It's hard to get used to it, but I just had to learn how to handle an axe."

Bora chuckled and continued watching the movie.

"And why's that?"

"Well, I can't just embarrass myself in front of our kids one day when we bring them here." Siyeon sighed.

Bora tensed up as if her heart stopped beating for a second or maybe even two. She moved out of Siyeon's hold and turned her body to her. She was biting her lip hiding the smile that was slowly forming on her lips.

"Our kids?"

Siyeon's eyes met hers and she gave her back a shy smile. She nodded glancing at her lips then back to her eyes.

"Yes, our kids." 

Bora kept biting her lip.

Of course, it wasn't the first time she thought about raising kids with Siyeon, it was actually a big wish of hers. She always imagined cute scenarios and now hearing that Siyeon liked that idea as well, just made her heart flutter. She knew she chose right. She knew she wouldn't regret a single day spent with Siyeon.

She leaned closer and slowly closed the gap between their lips. Siyeon lifted her hand touching Bora's cheek gently as if it was made out of glass. Kissing slowly, they felt all the love in the world on each other's lips. 

"Can we stay in so I could kiss your pretty face all day long..." Siyeon softly said and kissed Bora's forehead. Bora knelt up and let herself fall into Siyeon's arms as they wrapped tightly around her waist. She shut her eyes at the embrace and breathed in Siyeon's scent that she couldn't get enough of. 

"I'd love that, but I want to take you sledding today." Bora smiled into Siyeon's neck. Siyeon turned her head to look outside the window and the snow stopped falling. 

"Well, let's go then!" 

\--

"Hey... Isn't this a bit high up?" Siyeon gulped as she looked down the hill. Bora snorted and placed the wooden sled down.  
  
"You're such a pussy, Siyeon." She sat down and tapped the back of the sled with her hand. Siyeon groaned annoyed.

"It's not that I'm scared, I'm just worried for you." She watched Bora pull a face rolling her eyes at Siyeon's attempt at lying.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, come on now already!" 

Siyeon sighed and sat behind Bora hugging her. Bora shouted excitedly and pushed off with her feet making the sled go forward.

The speed rapidly increased and both were screaming going down. Siyeon felt her heart would jump out of her mouth if she didn't close it. Their landing could've been better as the sled turned around on a side and they fell into the snow laughing. 

"Okay, that was amazing!" Siyeon jumped up and clapped. Bora picked up the sled and smiled at her fixing her hat.

"Loser has to go alone!" She yelled before sprinting up the hill making Siyeon shout at the unfairness as she ran after her.

Unfortunately for Bora, she tripped while carrying the sled and fell face-first into the snow. Siyeon had to stop running to laugh at her girlfriend getting hit by karma. Bora threw a snowball at her and whined rubbing her face. Siyeon finally stopped laughing and walked closer to kiss her nose.

"The Kim Bora nose is intact. The world is safe." 

Bora smiled and punched her shoulder playfully. 

"Let's just not fucking run and go together." Bora said defeated. Siyeon laughed again and rubbed her shoulder for comfort. 

They sledded a couple more times until they had no more energy to walk up the hill. Siyeon carried the sled back as they walked hand in hand. Somehow, they got on the topic of their trainee days. 

"Bora, what are you talking about, oh my god... I've been crushing on you since the first time I saw you!" 

Bora raised her eyebrows in shock hearing that.

"But you were always hanging out with Minji, you never looked at me!" She complained and Siyeon chuckled fixing the grip on the sled she carried. 

"Minji is my second mom. And I was too shy, stupid... Minji even said I'm being too obvious."

Bora's mind went back in time trying to remember those days. She just shrugged looking down at the snow.

"Oh well. What matters is that we're together now." She smiled up at Siyeon who gave her a quick peck on the lips. Bora leaned into her side and they walked in silence for a while.

"Hey, what are we actually going to do for our anniversary? It's today right?" Siyeon looked at Bora who was just smiling widely when she remembered her plan.

"I was thinking a nice, fancy dinner with some wine. Sounds good?"

Siyeon whistled impressed and nodded. "Deal. I'll dress nicely."

"You better." Bora smirked.

\--

Bora prepared the table and watched over the food. She looked in the mirror and fixed her wavy hair a bit. She wanted to look perfect for this dinner. It wouldn't be just a typical dinner and Siyeon had no clue what would happen. She smiled and returned happily to the kitchen.

Siyeon was upstairs panicking over what to wear as she didn't bring anything too fancy for this trip. She sighed and put on a simple loose white shirt with some black pants. She left three buttons unbuttoned before she smirked looking in the mirror and unbuttoned the fourth one as well, showing more of her skin. Wearing a bra wasn't an option for obvious reasons.

She made her way downstairs and saw the table already set up with a candle in the middle and rose petals around, making it all more romantic. She grinned and looked over her shoulder hearing Bora walk up to her. She was smiling, but then her expression quickly changed seeing Siyeon's cleavage. She looked up into her flirty eyes and smirked. 

"You want me to undress you before we even begin eating?" Bora teased into her ear and Siyeon shut her eyes at her husky voice.

"Well, I can always button them back up." Siyeon was ready to button her shirt up when Bora grabbed her hands giving her a look.

"Don't you dare."

They smiled at each other and Bora turned around to walk back to the kitchen. Siyeon didn't miss the opportunity to gently slap her ass making her laugh. 

"You look cute, baby."

Bora turned her head with a smile on her face and her blonde locks bounced up and down.

To Siyeon, it looked like slow motion. A literal goddess.

Bora sent her a kiss and disappeared around the wall. Siyeon sat down and looked around the room as it wasn't lit up. Only the fireplace from the living room and the candle on the table made a dim light. She sighed and rested her head on her hands. It would be really hard to top all of this for their next anniversary.

Since they often spoil each other too much with expensive gifts, they had agreed that for their specials days they don't do gifts, but experiences and things like that.

Tapping her face with her finger, Siyeon was already planning what to do, where to take her, how to make it all worthwhile.

\--

Eating up all the delicious food Bora had prepared, they drank wine and talked about everything and anything that came to their minds. Words rolled off their tongues easily, their eyes sparkled as they gazed at each other with looks full of affection and admiration making the whole night feel special and heartwarming.

"I don't want to go tomorrow. Two nights is too short." Siyeon pouted and Bora placed her hand over Siyeon's and rubbed it gently.

"I promise you, we'll come back soon."

"I can't wait." Siyeon smiled happily and nodded. She finished her glass and placed it back down.

Bora just stared at her across the table. This was it. It's actually happening. No going back now.

She bit her lip feeling her heart beating faster at her nervousness. "Siyeon, you honestly make me the happiest girl in the world." 

Siyeon's mouth pulled up into a smile and she wanted to say something back, but Bora held her hand up.

"Just let me talk, please."

She looked at Bora a bit puzzled but nodded. She gulped getting a bit worried about Bora's sudden change in attitude.

"You captured my heart the first day I saw you. I never thought that cute, little girl would mean so much to me. I never thought I would find someone so special, so early in my life. Siyeon, you're the best thing that happened to me. The way you care for me. The way you make me smile, laugh. The way we argue about the silliest things and soon make up because we miss each other too much. The way you tease me for everything. The way you make me mad that I could strangle you. The way you always stand up for me. The way you always protect me no matter what." 

Siyeon felt tears in her eyes as she carefully listened to Bora's words. She noticed she was also holding back tears.

"You make me feel so safe. You feel like home, Siyeon. And... I don't want that feeling to ever go away."

Siyeon leaned back in her chair as she watched Bora stand up and walk over to her staring deeply into her eyes.

"I want to spend the rest of my life by your side."

Reaching into her pocket, Bora took out a small black box and got down on her knee. Siyeon turned her body on the chair and put her hands over her mouth that dropped open. Bora started smiling and Siyeon's eyes kept looking back and forth between her and the box. 

"Lee Siyeon... Will you marry me?" 

She opened the box slowly revealing an all-black shiny diamond ring. Siyeon looked at it and stood up. She started sobbing instantly realizing Bora remembered.

A long time ago, Siyeon mentioned that she would want a black ring for her engagement. The other girls made jokes about it, but the person she loved the most, just stayed silent and smiled noting down that wish of hers.

She nodded repeatedly, softly saying 'yes' as she couldn't stop crying. Bora's tears were running down her cheeks as she put the ring on Siyeon's hand. Siyeon looked at it and smiled through her tears and met Bora's lips that gave her a passionate kiss. They held each other tightly never wanting to let go. 

"I love you so much, Bora." Siyeon barely said trying not to choke up on her tears while looking into Bora's eyes.

"I love you too, baby. Forever." Bora smiled and kissed her again once. Siyeon wiped her tears away smiling at herself for crying so much. She lifted her hand to take a closer look at the ring. 

"It's perfect."

She got surprised when Bora pulled another ring out of her pocket.

"I got my matching white one." She winked and let Siyeon put it on her hand.

They stared at their hands and the two rings looked beautiful together like that. The whole meaning behind them made Siyeon's heart skip a beat. The difference in Bora's and Siyeon's personality. The difference in their looks. They perfectly complemented each other. They were just meant to be. 

"I want to watch us grow and I just want you by my side." Bora said holding Siyeon's hand.

"I'm yours forever, baby." Siyeon lifted her and Bora wrapped her body around Siyeon's as they kissed again and took all this love upstairs to the bedroom.

Bora didn't know if it was the occasion, the cabin, the snow falling slowly or a mix of everything, that made this night so magical as they were kissing down all the spots they could find, moaning breathlessly each other's names, moving their bodies sensually together, whispering sweet words to each other, and making love deep into the night.

They held each other close, knowing they are holding their entire world in their arms.

\-- 

Getting to the dorm safely, they hugged the rest of the girls and they bugged them with many questions about the trip. Siyeon sat on the couch and purposely lifted her hand to scratch her face making sure the ring is showing.

"Oh, I don't know, it was okay, I guess."

Bora smirked catching the ring with her eyes. The girls looked at each other confused by her answer and then Gahyeon screamed making everyone jump. 

"What is wrong with you?!" Yoohyeon whined still having her hands over her ears. Gahyeon ran to Siyeon and grabbed her hand pointing to her ring. The girls looked confused and Bora showed hers. 

"Surprise! We're engaged!"

Seoul might have experienced an earthquake by how hard the girls screamed and jumped on Siyeon and Bora hugging them tightly. Minji started crying first, then Gahyeon followed, and soon the living room was full of tears.

The joy would have continued if Handong didn't call dibs on being a bridesmaid. Soon, the girls started arguing who should be one and who shouldn't. Yubin yelled that all of them should be one, but no one listened to the voice of reason since Yoohyeon and Gahyeon yelled at each other and pettily fought.

Bora sat on Siyeon's lap sideways and they just laughed at them enjoying the drama unfold.

Bora turned her head to Siyeon and they locked eyes. They didn't need to say anything. Words were unnecessary. They didn't matter.  
  
The only thing that mattered was that the fire in their hearts, their unconditional love for each other, would never burn out.


	24. "Patience... is not something I'm known for."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: December 6, 2019   
> Warnings: small mature scene

Siyeon closed the bathroom door and checked herself out in the mirror. She rubbed her puffy morning face and sighed. She spent so much money on cosmetics and face products yet her face still looked like that every time she wakes up.

She shrugged defeated and brushed her teeth. Today is her free day so she can relax. She had a few movies in mind that she would like to check out, maybe even start a new tv show. The rain outside didn't seem to stop so what better way to spend the day than to be lazy in bed.

She took off her sleepwear and her underwear. The mirror reflected a slim figure and Siyeon turned around looking at herself.

All that dancing really paid off well. She was happy in her own body. She wanted to admire it a bit more, but her skin got goosebumps all over because of the cold air in the bathroom.

She quickly jumped into the shower and closed off the shower doors. Trying to find the perfect water temperature, she stood under the showerhead letting the hot water run down her body.

She ran her fingers through her hair and turned around making sure she got her back wet. The hot water felt so good burning her skin that Siyeon didn't want to get out.

She stood there for a while, eyes closed, completely letting her muscles relax. She turned off the shower and just when she wanted to pick up her shampoo bottle, someone opened the bathroom door just enough for their voice to be heard.

"Siyeon, are you done? I need to shower."

Siyeon looked towards the door. Luckily for her, Bora couldn't see her. She put some of the shampoo in her hand.

"Bora, I literally just started washing up, wait a bit!" She shook her head and ran her hands through her hair brushing it with her fingers hitting every streak of her long hair. She heard Bora groan from the door.

"Siyeon, I need to go to the company! Just get out, please!" Bora whined hitting her hand gently on the door a few times. Siyeon groaned massaging her scalp still in the process of shampooing her hair.

"Just fucking wait a minute, I can't go out like this." She sighed and turned around, facing the showerhead again. Bora was annoying her and just out of spite, she decided to take the longer route. Just how many times she had begged her to hurry up and she didn't listen. Now, it was her turn.

Turning on the shower again, she washed the shampoo out of her hair. She ignored Bora's whines outside.

She smiled and hummed a song without a care in the world when suddenly the bathroom door opened wide and Bora walked in closing it behind her. Siyeon barely managed to turn off the shower as panic took over. She tried to cover herself as best as she could with her left arm over her chest and right hand in between her legs.

"What are you doing?! I told you to wait!" Siyeon shouted annoyed and embarrassed standing naked in front of her. Bora ignored her and quickly brushed her teeth and put her hair up in a messy bun.

Siyeon wanted to complain more, but her mouth couldn't utter a word when Bora began hastily taking off her clothes one by one dropping them on the floor and revealing a body that seemed to be carved out of marble by some famous sculptor.

"Don't look at me like that. I told you, I'll be late."

Siyeon wanted to scream when Bora opened the shower door and hopped in. She quickly scanned Siyeon's body without shame and smirked liking what she was seeing.

Trying not to die on the spot, Siyeon turned to the side.

"Damn, how do you endure this..." Bora said checking the water temperature and made it a bit cooler.

Siyeon stared at the wall, but something was just telling her to look over. It was an internal battle. Reason versus curiosity. Or was it lust? She wasn't quite sure, but she gave in to that other side.

She turned her head slowly and gazed over Bora's body. It truly was an art piece.

She watched the water run over her hard nipples, sliding down her tummy right to her core. She forgot to breathe for a second and got startled when Bora shot her a look catching her in act. Siyeon immediately looked back to the corner.

Bora turned the shower off and turned her body to face Siyeon while staring into her eyes. Siyeon tensed up and felt shivers all over her body again as the air was growing thick. Her eyes tried real hard not to drop their gaze down to Bora's chest again, so they stared back into Bora's eyes. Seeing her move closer, Siyeon stood frozen in place.

"Can I get my shower gel?"

Bora's husky voice sent another wave of shivers down Siyeon's back. As soon as she registered Bora's question, she moved out the way.

Bora stepped closer and leaned down grabbing the bottle. Siyeon stared at her feet wanting all of this to be over.

Bora's gel gave off a strong but lovely aroma and the cabin smelled of honey, coconut and... tension. Siyeon breathed in the heavenly mixture and it made her sneak in another look at Bora's body. Bora's hands were sliding over her breasts and back down around her ass and Siyeon's mind was all over the place.

How long were they in here? Was it only a couple of minutes or a few hours? Everything Bora did felt like a never-ending slow-motion movie.

Siyeon relaxed a bit because the unbearable silence was broken off by the sound of water washing off the gel off Bora's body.

"You know... You could've waited a few more seconds." Siyeon quietly said as she got a bit braver and instantly regretted it when Bora turned off the shower and took a step closer cornering Siyeon.

The shower cabin was getting smaller and smaller each passing second, making it hard to breathe. Bora licked her lips and looked down at Siyeon's cleavage and then back to her eyes.

"Patience... is not something I'm known for." She whispered smirking and Siyeon's knees got weak when Bora's cold fresh breath touched her lips.

The tension was driving her insane as Bora still didn't move and just stared at her lips. She leaned her head closer looking into Siyeon's eyes once more before her eyes fixated on her lips again. Siyeon stopped breathing and looked down at Bora's parted lips. It was like her hands had a mind on their own. They slowly slid off her body desperately wanting to touch Bora's curves; her fingertips slightly touching Bora's waist.

"Bora! The van is here!"

Someone yelled from the outside startling them both.

Bora stopped moving and Siyeon dropped her arms back. Their eyes met again. The moment felt like eternity.

Now, fully able to see her body, Bora checked her out up and down and on her serious face appeared another deadly smirk. She stepped outside wrapping a towel around her body. She picked up her clothes on the floor and walked out closing the door.

Siyeon let her head rest against the wall and closed her eyes, slowly letting out a big breath.

_Why was that so fucking hot?_

\--

Once Siyeon was out of the bathroom, Bora was long gone. She was still stunned by the scene that happened in the shower. She pinched herself, just in case she was dreaming.

Nope. She was wide awake. It happened. Bora's naked body happened.

Were they about to kiss? Was Bora teasing her as a joke? She always pulled shit like that. But would she actually kiss her if she had the chance? What if they weren't interrupted?

Her mind had a short circuit by all the possible outcomes. She bit her lip when she remembered how good Bora looks like naked. Just as she was getting confident in her own body there was Bora, built like a goddess.

She went to her room and for once was glad she was alone.

She plopped on the bed and opened her laptop. YouTube videos were a great way to distract herself, but somehow, she ended up watching Bora's fancams. She felt so dirty enjoying her friend's dancing. Not the dance itself, but the way her body moved. The body she saw completely naked. The body she wouldn't easily forget.

She nibbled on her lip and got more comfortable in her bed. She watched another video and her eyes couldn't leave Bora's ass in those tight shorts. Sure, she saw her wear those unreal amounts of times, but now, they looked different. 

_I'm actually going insane._

She exited the browser and closed her laptop putting it aside. She stood up and walked around her room thinking about the whole situation. Getting to a somewhat conclusion, she quickly grabbed her phone and texted Bora.

[Siyeon]  
 _When are you coming back?  
We need to talk..._

[Bora]  
 _Talk about what?_

[Siyeon]  
 _You know what Bora lol_

[Bora]  
 _Idk around 6 pm I think._

[Siyeon]  
 _Okay see you then._

She threw her phone back on the bed and sighed.

"Talk about what..." Siyeon snorted and shook her head.

_Why are you always playing dumb?_

\--

By the time the clock hit 6 pm, all the other members were back at the dorm. This didn't help Siyeon, because she wanted to talk alone with Bora without distraction or someone snooping around, eavesdropping on them. At 6:45 pm, finally, Bora arrived dropping her bag by the door. She got scared when someone grabbed her arm.

"Come here." Siyeon dragged her to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. If she had locked it in the morning, none of this would be happening.

Bora just smiled at her and leaned against the edge of the sink. She couldn't lie, she liked this side of Siyeon; it was kinda hot. 

"Back in here, huh?" Bora teased and Siyeon looked over to the shower then back to Bora who kept staring at her confident as ever.

Meanwhile, Siyeon's body language was different. She wanted to appear angry, but with arms crossed over her chest, looking down at her feet, it screamed insecure.

"Listen... I'm not your toy, okay?"

Bora's face dropped and she furrowed her eyebrows hearing complete nonsense coming out of Siyeon's mouth. To her it was nonsense, but Siyeon meant every word.

"I don't want you to almost kiss me, then later play dumb. I don't want you to grab my ass all the time and act like it's a joke... You've done this so many times now. You keep sending me mixed signals and I'm kinda tired of it. I honestly want you to stop." Siyeon looked up to see Bora's reaction. She stayed silent and shook her head now looking pissed off by Siyeon's comments.

"And I'm tired of you not taking a damn hint already. Just how many more times do I have to act like a complete clown for you to notice me?"

_Wait, what?_

Bora rested her hands on the sink and looked back at Siyeon who was caught off guard.

"As in...?"

"As in, let me hop on your lap and let's make out until our lips are sore..." Bora couldn't help but smile a bit saying that. It felt so ridiculous saying it out loud, but it was just how she felt.

"Are you serious now?"

"Yes, Siyeon, oh my god..." Bora dropped her head back exhaling in annoyance. Siyeon didn't know what to say, where to look. She was stunned.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. Instead, if you shut up, maybe we would be kissing already." Bora answered quickly. She was getting tired of this.

Siyeon stared at her in complete disbelief. Like someone put her in some sort of crazy simulation. This couldn't be real life.

"Look, I just know that I like you." Bora shrugged frowning. Siyeon wanted to say something when they heard someone try to open the door and then knock.

"Just a second!" Siyeon said not breaking eye contact with Bora.

"Siyeon... I saw how you stared at me in the shower. You and I both know we have some unfinished business. I don't want anyone to distract us again." Bora spoke and started walking towards Siyeon who backed away leaning against the door not ready for what was about to go down.

"Bora, I..." Siyeon sighed and Bora stopped in front of her.

Their height difference was more prominent now as Bora looked up at Siyeon. She was just tiptoe away from kissing her lips. She so badly wanted to, but noticing Siyeon's panic, she knew better.

"What's stopping you?" Bora's quiet voice was colored with pain as she placed her hands on Siyeon's shoulders gently rubbing them.

Siyeon ran her hand through her hair repeatedly frustrated with herself.

It wasn't that she didn't like Bora. It was just that she wasn't sure what all of this meant. It was too much, too fast. She needs time to process all of this first. 

"I... I don't know."

Bora glanced at her lips then down on the floor moving her hands off Siyeon's body. She took a step to the left and placed her hand on the door knob. Siyeon moved off the door realizing Bora wanted to get out of this mess of a situation. She didn't blame her one bit. 

"You know what, let's just forget about all of this." Bora spoke sadly. Her heart couldn't handle any more rejections from Siyeon. She tried so many times yet she always got hurt in one way or another.

"It was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable."

Siyeon's heart sank hearing that and watched Bora slowly unlock the door. She turned to the side and Siyeon felt her cheek burning when Bora's lips kissed it softly.

"I'm sorry." Bora tried to smile a bit through the tears already forming and walked out, disappearing into the hallway.

Siyeon stayed in the bathroom for a while.

Regret soon washed all over her as she realized how badly she fucked up. She shook her head looking at herself in the mirror, ashamed of her cowardly behavior.

_I should've just kissed her._


	25. "I could really eat something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: December 10, 2019   
> Warnings: none

Exhausted from the choreo, the seven girls were at their limits, but Bora, of course, wanted to go once more.

"Baby, I literally can't breathe anymore, let's just stop here." Siyeon said while sitting on the wooden floor trying to get her breathing back to normal. She never understood how her girlfriend could go on and on without getting tired. And not just with dancing.

"Yeah, I think it's enough." Yoohyeon joined and drank some water. Bora watched the others nod agreeing with Yoohyeon and she started to sulk.

"Pleaseee, just once more and that's it? I need to perfect that jump move." She kept pouting and looking like a sad puppy that got left outside in the rain. She put her hands together pleading the girls and they gave in.

She jumped happily and pressed play again to start the music. She always had the energy to go a few more hours because dancing wasn't really an exercise for her, it was something as normal as breathing.

Getting to her jump part, she jumped, but unfortunately, the landing was pretty bad.

In a second, she was on the floor holding the ankle she twisted. The girls stopped moving and Siyeon got on her knees next to Bora who was on the verge of tears now. Yubin quickly stopped the music and soon everyone surrounded Bora. Minji untied Bora's shoe and pulled it off carefully, but Bora whined a bit at the pain.

"I knew this was a bad idea, fuck." Siyeon sighed and touched Bora's ankle gently feeling it. She wasn't an expert, but it didn't feel like anything was broken, otherwise, she would probably be in more pain.

"Seriously, Bora, you need to listen to us sometimes..." Yoohyeon sighed and stared down at Bora's foot. Bora looked over and felt her foot buzzing. It felt so weird. She didn't wish this pain to anyone.

"Can all of you stop being smartasses and help me up?" She put her arms up and Handong and Yoohyeon pulled her up and she balanced herself on her right foot. She couldn't feel her left foot at all due to the pain. Soon enough, it will all turn to lovely shades of purple.

She smiled a bit feeling Siyeon's lips on her cheek and wrapped her arm around her neck and the other around Handong.

"Let me call the manager, we should probably get you to the hospital for scans, in case you broke something." Minji said picking up her phone. Bora wanted to argue that she didn't break anything, but was shushed by Minji's index finger as the manager picked up the phone call right away.

\--

The X-ray showed it was just a sprain and the doctor said they shouldn't worry too much since it was a common injury in sports as well as in dancing. They were all relieved to hear that and left the hospital. With arms wrapped around Siyeon's neck, Bora felt like a real princess when she carried her into the dorm and gently placed down on the couch.

"Thank you, gorgeous." Bora winked and Siyeon couldn't resist but to give her a quick kiss.

"Right, let's put this pillow under your foot." Minji said getting a pillow off the couch and put it under Bora's foot. "Gahyeon, go get some ice from the fridge."

Siyeon rubbed the back of Bora's head, fingers tangled into her hair and watched Gahyeon get back with a bag of frozen sweet peas.

"I said ice, oh my god, but I guess it will work." Minji sighed and put it on Bora's ankle without warning and Bora screamed and jumped a bit at the freezing touch.

"Hey, put a towel over her foot, then the bag." Siyeon suggested and Gahyeon quickly went to the bathroom to get one, Bora didn't feel as cold anymore

"I'm so happy that I'm dating someone with actual brain cells." She rested her head against Siyeon's side. She felt better just by having her close.

"To this day, I wonder how she fell for someone with zero brain cells." Minji teased back and Bora tried to hit her with her foot but then the pain stabbed her ankle once again and she wanted to die on the spot, pulling a face trying not to scream.

"Baby, you need to rest now." Siyeon kept rubbing her head and Bora pouted nodding.

"Well, we'll leave you two here. The manager said it's okay if you stay here with her. We still need to head back to the company. Text me if something happens." Minji said and Siyeon smiled at that.

"What could possibly happen?"

Minji made a face like Siyeon just asked the dumbest question ever. "You know how Bora is. Literally anything could happen."

"I guess that's true." Siyeon chuckled looking down at Bora who looked tiny on that big couch. 

"I'm right here guys, thank you." Bora pointed at herself and Minji mockingly waved leaving the two girls alone.

Siyeon walked over to the end of the couch and moved the towel to check out Bora's foot up close. She stared at the yellowish spots on her skin.

"Oh... It's slowly getting bruised."

Bora sighed and intertwined her hands together placing them on top of her head.

"I'm so stupid. If I didn't bug you guys about dancing one more time, this wouldn't have happened." She said and moved her foot slowly getting to know at which angle it hurts. Siyeon placed the towel back and the peas bag over it.

"Shoulda, woulda, coulda. No point now. It happened." Siyeon shrugged and looked over at her sad girlfriend. Even though she was really upset about her injury, Siyeon thought she looked adorable.

"If I miss the tour next month, I swear..." Bora quietly said fidgeting with the blanket and Siyeon saw her eyes sparkle with tears. She walked back over and sat down facing her, taking her hand into hers.

"Baby, you won't. Soon, you'll be able to walk. It will hurt, but you should be thankful that you didn't break anything." She ran her thumb across Bora's side and Bora just nodded looking at her foot. She smiled a bit when Siyeon leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"I think a few more kisses will make it all better..." She pouted again and Siyeon obeyed her wishes connecting their lips. Bora smiled into the kiss and just wanted to feel more of Siyeon's lips. She pulled her closer by her shirt and when Siyeon felt a hand creeping into it, she pulled away slowly while looking down at Bora's lips.

"Are you serious now?" She said smiling and Bora grinned mischievously and shrugged. She moved her hand around Siyeon's body looking for her bra hook, but Siyeon immediately stopped her naughty hand from going any further and moved it out of her shirt.

"You're at rest. And by rest, I mean rest." Siyeon said the last word a bit louder trying to make a point as she moved back.

"Come on, baby, we'll be careful." Bora pulled Siyeon's arm trying to get her back closer but she stood up getting her arm out of Bora's grip.

"No way." Siyeon sent Bora a kiss and she groaned dropping her head back on the couch. Not only did she mess up her foot, but according to her girlfriend, sexy times as she called them weren't on the schedule anytime soon.

"Do you want anything else? Something that doesn't involve getting naked." Siyeon smirked and Bora looked up at her annoyed. Her mood was killed and she didn't appreciate the jokes. 

She looked away thinking when she realized she didn't eat the whole day.

"I could really eat something." She touched her tummy and felt like it was hollow, desperately begging for food.

Siyeon bit her lip at that. She was the worst cook in the group. Bora even made her an award for that to make it official. She still kept it in her room even though she was slightly hurt by how everyone agreed on it so easily.

"What would you like?" She asked nervously and gulped. Bora looked up at her giving her a warm smile.

"Well... What can you make?"

Siyeon pouted at the teasing from Bora. Now it was her turn to be sad.

Since there was no answer, Bora spoke again taking Siyeon's hand.

"It's okay babe, we could order a pizza or something." She suggested and Siyeon stared down at her feet feeling guilty and bad about the whole situation. 

"But I want to make you food..." She said it in the softest voice ever and Bora felt like she could melt on the spot. She brought her hand up to her mouth and kissed it gently.

"How about pancakes?" Siyeon raised her head and her eyebrows. How didn't she think of that? Even she knew how to make those.

She nodded happily clapping her hands and ran to the kitchen like it was a matter of life or death.

"You stay right where you are!" She yelled and Bora chuckled shaking her head. Where could she possibly go with her bruised foot?

\--

Soon, the room smelled of pancakes and Bora's stomach had its own metal concert going on. She was so hungry, she prayed Siyeon managed to make them. She trusted her, but she could always fuck it up somehow.

Memories of teaching Siyeon how to cook came to Bora and she smiled shaking her head. _Never again_.

"Babe, everything fine over there? Is it edible?" Bora nervously asked and Siyeon smiled while adding the finishing touches.

"You're not ready for this!"

When Siyeon entered the room, Bora eagerly tried to look at the tray Siyeon was carrying. She placed it down on Bora's lap and her jaw dropped immediately.

"Siyeon!"

She stared down at perfectly stacked pancakes with a bit of whipped cream on the top. Honey was dripping all over them and few berries were placed as decoration, to make it all look more presentable and of course, tastier.

Siyeon also made them tea that they can enjoy together, but she would make sure to steal a few bites of those delicious pancakes.

"Come here." Bora lifted her arm and as Siyeon leaned it she wrapped her hand around her neck and kissed her softly.

"My little chef." Bora said while pulling away and Siyeon smile only grew wider.

For once, she was actually proud of herself for making something for Bora who decided not to tease her about the obvious blush on her cheeks and just pecked her again.

\--

Siyeon was cuddled up next to Bora as they shared a big, warm blanket and watched TV. Bora kept complimenting Siyeon as everything tasted amazing and occasionally fed her, pretending the fork is an airplane, which Siyeon tried to stop her from doing but was secretly enjoying all the attention she got.

Soon, the plates and the mugs were empty. Bora patted her content tummy and exhaled happily. "I'm so full."

Siyeon smiled and kissed her cheek. "Maybe you could still try teaching me how to properly cook?" She placed her chin on Bora's shoulder giving the best puppy eyes and Bora turned her head to look at her puppy.

"Hm, maybe. I guess you're not a lost cause after all."

Bora quickly dropped her grin and a whine left her mouth when Siyeon poked her injured foot with her own.

"Oww... what was that for?!" She pouted and looked angrily at Siyeon who stuck her tongue out.

"Say "Lee Siyeon, you have such potential to be the best cook ever and I, Kim Bora, would love to teach you. I swear, I'll wear nothing but an apron."" Siyeon smirked and Bora couldn't do anything but laugh at the ridiculous demand.

"No chance, baby- Ow! Siyeon, stop- Ow! Okay, okay! You win! Enough!" Bora cried out and kicked Siyeon's leg with her healthy foot to stop her from poking her ankle. Siyeon laughed and moved her leg away knowing she had done enough damage.

"Lee Siyeon... you have such great potential to be the best cook ever and I, Kim Bora, would love to teach you so you don't burn down our dorm. I swear, I'll wear nothing but a fucking apron, for your eyes only." Bora repeated it in her own way and slowly started to reciprocate Siyeon's smug smile.

"That's what I thought."


	26. "You keep me warm."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: December 16, 2019  
> Warnings: small mature scenes

Walking over to Bora's room, Siyeon found her on the floor packing lots of things in a big rucksack.

"You couldn't find a bigger one?" She teased and leaned on the door frame. Bora smiled recognizing the voice immediately and continued packing her socks neatly.

"I'll pack my underwear in your bag." She said turning her head to see Siyeon get all flustered not expecting that kind of response at all.

It wasn't a secret between them. They were both crushing on each other since forever. Lately, they had been texting each night until one of them fell asleep. It was a cute little routine and it was very addicting.

Trying to completely dismiss what Bora just said, Siyeon tried to change the topic. "Are you excited for the trip?"

"Of course! You?" Bora closed her bag and sat on it trying to zip it up. She really didn't need to pack that much because it was getting too hard to keep it all in.

She managed to zip it all and reached her arms over to Siyeon to help her up. Siyeon smiled a bit and walked closer getting Bora back to her feet.

For a split second, they looked at each other's lips as Bora was standing right in front of Siyeon. Their first kiss wasn't going to happen, at least not now because they got interrupted by Yoohyeon greeting them walking in.

Realizing she was still holding Siyeon's hands, Bora quickly let go of them. Siyeon rubbed the side of her neck and looked away awkwardly.

"Did you pack up?" Yoohyeon pointed to Bora's bag that looked like it will explode any minute. Bora nodded and sat down on her bed.

"What about you?" She asked and Yoohyeon made a face that had guilt written all over it as she slowly climbed up to her bed.

"Don't yell at me, but I still didn't even start."

"Yoohyeon!" Both Siyeon and Bora indeed yelled at her and she covered her face with a pillow.

"I'll get to it, okay?"

"We're leaving tomorrow morning and now it's like 10 pm." Bora said and looked around the room trying to think if she forgot anything. When her eyes met Siyeon's, she gave her a quick wink that made Siyeon smile and look away. 

"Bora, will you help me pack? Pleaseee?" Yoohyeon brought the attention back to her as she moved on the bed and leaned down to take a look at Bora who looked up at her.

"Fine."

A loud cheer was heard and Yoohyeon leaned back down on her bed and grabbed her phone. 

"Well, see you guys tomorrow, sleep well." Siyeon waved and Yoohyeon said bye without lifting her eyes off the game she started playing.

"Siyeon?" Bora called for her and Siyeon stopped in her tracks with her hand on the door. Bora held up her phone and pointed at it. Siyeon smiled and just nodded.

She walked out closing the door quietly. Bora leaned down and put her head into her pillow trying not to stop that goofy grin on her face.

All these butterflies flying around her stomach were just too much. They were too loud.

She thought back at the moment before Yoohyeon walked in. She wanted to kiss those lips for so long, it was driving her crazy.

Maybe it could happen on the trip?

The sheer thought of that made her all giggly and she couldn't wait for tomorrow to happen. Her phone buzzed and she didn't need to think twice who it was.

[Siyeon <3]  
_Are we really going to sleep in tents??_

[Bora <3]  
_Yeah the manager said so.  
Are you afraid?_

[Siyeon <3]  
_Not at all._

[Bora <3]  
_Suree ;)_

[Siyeon <3]  
_Stoppp! I'm not!  
A bit... :(_

[Bora <3]  
_Aww <3  
Don't worry, I'll protect you :)_

[Siyeon <3]  
_Are the pairs for the tents decided?  
Because jokes aside, I really want to be with you..._

Bora squealed at that and had to put her phone down to the side, burying her head in the pillow again. She could leave an imprint in her pillow by how much she was grinning.

"What's with you?" Yoohyeon asked and Bora chuckled grabbing her phone again, turning swiftly on her back.

"Nothing, nothing."

[Bora <3]  
_Siyeon you're making me all soft...  
I want to be with you too <3_

[Siyeon <3]  
_Am I now? :)_

[Bora <3]  
_Yes!  
I can't wait to cuddle you all night._

Siyeon grinned widely and tried to imagine the scene.

Getting under the blankets, clinging close to each other and giving soft goodnight kisses. Bora holding her close, hearing her heartbeat while their legs were intertwined as the moonlight was the only light source illuminating their tent. 

[Siyeon <3]  
_I'd like that :)_

[Bora <3]  
_I want to talk more, but I have to help this dumbass pack...  
Goodnight and sleep tight <3_

[Siyeon <3]  
_Goodnight Bora <3_

Bora placed the phone down grinning from ear to ear. She rubbed her face trying to get a hold of herself and began kicking Yoohyeon's bunk with her legs.

"Come on, you fool, let's get packing!"

\--

Seven girls plus four members of the staff.

It was a trip their manager organized as a 'thank you' for all of their hard work in the past year. All of them needed a break to recharge their batteries.

They were happily getting into the van and Bora's face dropped instantly when she saw that the seat next to Siyeon was occupied by Gahyeon. Siyeon noticed the disappointment on her face and pulled out her phone quickly.

[Siyeon <3]  
_Sorry, she sat down before I could even do anything :( you know I'd rather have you next to me._

Bora read the text when she sat down next to Handong and started replying immediately. She didn't want Siyeon to think she did something wrong. She was just head over heels falling for her, so a bit of jealousy was normal.

[Bora <3]  
_Don't worry about it!  
I just want you all to myself..._

Siyeon wanted to scream and Bora made sure to look over. Siyeon looked at her and shook her head blushing hard. She watched Bora smirk and turn her attention towards Handong.

Siyeon put her phone down and looked outside the window as the van was about to drive off. Maybe it was better that they didn't sit together. Too much tension.

She smiled a bit when she realized that deep inside, she still wished they did. 

The ride wasn't too interesting. Most of the time, the girls either slept or listened to music without wanting to talk. It was comfortable silence.

Bora looked down at her shoulder and Handong was sound asleep. She smiled and closed her eyes as well to catch some sleep herself.

Arriving at the camping destination, they stepped out of the van and stretched. Their bodies felt stiff and everyone looked happy to finally arrive. 

Bora looked around at the trees and the lake in the distance. She smiled and made a note in her head to take Siyeon there.

They got their bags and began following their staff to the spot where they would be setting up the tents. A man guided them towards the woods and they saw a couple more people also camping. It was like a big camping place with supervision. The girls were happy about it because it was better to have someone else deal with hungry animals in the night.

Siyeon quickly picked up the pace and took Bora's hand into hers. Bora looked up at her and smiled intertwining their hands. Such small moments meant so much to both of them. 

"Excited?" Bora asked and Siyeon hummed nodding.

"Not about the bugs though." She swatted some flies away and Bora laughed doing the same.

"Yeah, these will be a pain in the ass."

They walked together and just enjoyed their thumbs dancing against each other. Bora knew Siyeon was always very affectionate with everyone so this wouldn't look too weird or suspicious. Just two friends holding hands. Nothing much.

When they arrived at the big empty spot in the middle of the woods, Bora looked around and saw other tents far in the distance. While the man was explaining things to them, Bora drifted off and leaned into Siyeon's side. Siyeon smiled and untangled their hands to wrap her arm around Bora's waist making her snuggle closer. They were enjoying being in their own world when the words 'picking' and 'tents' made them turn their heads. Bora tiptoed and turned her head a bit to Siyeon's ear. She tried to look as normal as possible.

"Only pick scissors. I'll do the same." She whispered as quietly as she could and Siyeon hummed.

The girls got in a circle and after two rounds, the sneaky pair got what they wanted. They also forgot they had to keep it down and jumped up hugging each other screaming in happiness.

"Someone's happy, jeez..." Minji said while chuckling and returned to the game.

Bora took Siyeon's hand and they happily walked over to pick up one of the bags that contained a tent inside. They just had to set it up. Or try.

"Uh, Bora do you know how to do it?" Siyeon asked dropping her bag on the ground.

"Watch and learn, baby." Bora crouched down unzipping the bag and taking out all the materials.

"Baby?" Siyeon repeated, but it was more of a question for Bora. She never called her baby, so it kinda made her heart do a flip or two. Bora took out the instructions and smiled up at Siyeon.

"Yes, baby. Problem?" She stared at her and Siyeon shook her head giggling getting shy. She looked away to check on the other girls.

Seemed like Yoohyeon was sharing a tent with Minji while Yubin, Handong, and Gahyeon were a trio. She shifted her attention back to Bora and sat down on a nearby log. She placed her elbows on her knees and rested her head on her hands. She watched Bora closely set up their roof for the week.

Her little tongue was peeking out as she was concentrating hard on each step of the instructions. Her tiny hands were working on attaching the poles. It was such a simple sight, but to Siyeon, Bora looked breathtaking. She wanted to tuck her hair behind her cute ears so it doesn't block her view that much. Or maybe just kiss her for hours. Yeah, maybe that would be better.

"Siyeon, come hold this."

She didn't hear Bora at all as she was still daydreaming about her lips.

"Siyeon!" Bora yelled looking at her and she jumped a bit.

"Why are you yelling, I'm right here..." She pressed her hands on her ears as if Bora injured them by her loud voice. She got up and Bora showed her what to do.

Soon enough, the tent was finished.

"Give me some!" Bora held up her hands and Siyeon gave her a double high five.

"Great job... Baby." Siyeon grinned barely saying it out loud and Bora raised her eyebrows.

"Oh? I'm baby as well?"

"I wanted to see how it sounds when I say it. How it... makes me feel." Siyeon looked away smiling.

"And how does it make you feel?" Bora asked and bit her lip looking down at Siyeon's lips.

"Really, really good..." She answered and couldn't stop smiling at Bora who looked back up to her eyes.

"I want to kiss you so badly..." Bora whispered and her gaze moved back down to Siyeon's lips.

"Save it for later..." Siyeon began and moved closer to Bora leaning to her ear. "...baby." She whispered and Bora's body shivered at Siyeon's breath tickling her ear. Siyeon blew her a kiss and Bora was left alone as she watched her go over to the others to check up on them. 

\--

"Now, everyone get your tent partner and pick up a basket. Follow me!"

The same man who guided them to their camping spot was also their guide for activities. Bora heard he was Mr. Kun or something like that. The whole thing didn't really interest her that much, she just wanted to spend time with Siyeon who held the basket over her arm and looked cute in her ponytail. Bora snuggled into her side wrapping her arm around her.

"A hunt for mushrooms, huh? Watch me pick all the poisonous ones." Bora sighed and Siyeon chuckled putting her arm around Bora's neck.

"Let's not die before our first kiss." Siyeon spoke quietly and Bora kissed her cheek making her smile brightly.

"Why are you two acting like an old married couple?"

The girls turned their heads and saw Minji and Yoohyeon picking up the pace behind them. Bora looked down at Minji's and Yoohyeon's intertwined arms and just smirked at the hypocrisy.

Mr. Kun stopped them when they found a mushroom they were supposed to pick up. They were handed a sheet of paper with various mushroom types with pictures next to their names and Bora stared at it with Siyeon for a while. It felt like they were taking a biology class again. A nightmare.

He explained more, but Bora was so comfortable leaning against Siyeon breathing in her sweet perfume. She wished they were out in some grass field, lying down, making out, while the sky was clear from any clouds.

She giggled a bit too loud and all the heads turned to her as she interrupted Mr. Kun's totally interesting thesis on mushrooms.

"Sorry..." She buried her head into Siyeon, trying to cover her embarrassed face. The others chuckled and Siyeon rubbed her shoulder.

"What's with you?" She whispered smiling and Bora still didn't show her face. She mumbled something against Siyeon's jacket and Siyeon furrowed her eyebrows trying to understand her gibberish words. 

"I'll tell you later." Bora spoke softly and shyly looked back at Mr. Kun. Siyeon stared at her for a while longer getting lost in her side profile before doing the same.

He told them to go explore with their tent partners and whichever group would bring back the most mushrooms, would win the mushroom challenge.

"Team trio for the win! Let's go!" They heard Gahyeon shout and everyone laughed at her enthusiasm.

Bora and Siyeon took the path to the right. Siyeon started to sing quietly and Bora felt really at bliss holding her hand as they walked through the woods. They were walking for a while not really looking for the mushrooms. It was hard to spot them anyway.

"Siyeon, you know when we first started talking? Not literally, but you know..." Bora spoke and looked ahead as they progressed through the woods.

"Yeah, what about it?" Siyeon was watching the ground trying to spot those mushrooms from the cheat sheet they were handed.

"What did you think of it? Like didn't you find it weird?"

"Hmm. I guess you could say it's weird. But I always had feelings for you. It was just something I naturally felt. Was it weird and confusing at the beginning? Definitely. But now, not so much." She let go of Bora's hand and crouched down. She picked up a mushroom and stood back up.

"This is it, right?" She scanned the paper and the mushroom in her hand. She placed it in the basket and took Bora's hand back into her own, receiving a smile from her.

"I'm glad you feel that way. For me, it was weird as well. I didn't really want to admit to myself that I actually like you."

"Can't help that I'm just that adorable." Siyeon followed up and pouted looking at Bora who wanted to lean in but was stopped by Siyeon's surprised face as she noticed something on the ground.

"Look!" Bora followed her gaze and saw three mushrooms. She watched Siyeon pick them up excitedly and Bora rubbed the back of her neck. Was mushroom hunting really this exciting for the younger girl?

She stayed quiet and let Siyeon grab all the mushrooms she could find. Bora, holding the basket, tried her best to be patient but it was way overdue now. She placed the basket on the ground and looked over at Siyeon.

"Hm, what do you think, is this the same one?" Siyeon compared the mushroom to the picture on the paper when Bora grabbed her wrists. Not too hard, but enough to get her attention.

"Forget about the stupid mushrooms already..."

The last thing Siyeon saw was Bora leaning closer as they connected their lips into a kiss. The mushroom and the paper sheet slipped out of Siyeon's hands instantly. She felt Bora's arms sneak around her neck and Siyeon followed her wrapping her arms around her waist. They wandered off too deep into the woods for any other sound to be heard but their lips slowly moving against each other, trying to savour this moment forever.

Bora pulled away and the biggest grin graced her face and Siyeon smiled as well staring into her eyes, wishing she could stop time.

"Want to kiss me some more or collect mushrooms?" Bora teased whispering.

Instead of giving her an answer, Siyeon pulled Bora closer making their bodies touch and pressed her lips against Bora's again. She felt Bora smile and tug gently on her hair as they kissed slowly, letting their tongues come out and play.

Like that annoying couple every school had, they made out like there was no tomorrow. All the built-up tension and flirty texts led them to this.

Siyeon pulled away letting her forehead rest on Bora's as they regained their breath again.

"Siyeon..." Bora breathed out and opened her eyes moving away a bit so she could look at the taller girl who looked back at her waiting for her to continue.

"I know it's pretty obvious, but... I still want to say it." Bora gave her a shy smile, her eyes not leaving Siyeon's.

"I want to call you mine. And... I want to be yours." She said looking down at her lips and gently ran her fingers up and down the back on her neck. Siyeon just leaned it, kissing her again softly before pulling away.

"I'm yours." She leaned down once again and kissed her, this time deeper and longer. "And you're mine."

She smiled and Bora bit her lip still feeling the taste of Siyeon's lips. She tiptoed and hugged Siyeon tightly around her neck and Siyeon chuckled trying not to choke, but she tightened the grip around Bora's body and they just stood there hugging for what seemed to be years.

"Let's get back before they think a bear got a hold of us." Bora said letting go but making sure she kissed her now girlfriend one more time. Siyeon took her hand and they began walking back.

"Wait!" Siyeon shouted getting Bora to jump and put her hand over her chest. 

"The fucking mushrooms!"

"Oh, shit!"

They started running back to the spot laughing at the situation. Bora caught a glimpse of Siyeon's smile that was so big while she laughed and she knew she wouldn't regret a day spent with her.

\--

They heard groans and cheers all mixed together when they saw others waiting for them. Their staff had their arms crossed, obviously pissed at them.

Siyeon gulped and walked over slowly with Bora who tried to lighten up the situation with her lame jokes but with no luck.

They told them off for being 30 minutes late and they lied about how it was so much fun they lost track of time. Their mushroom adventure was fun indeed, just without the mushroom part.

"Are you serious?" Yoohyeon pointed at their basket and began laughing like crazy. Others quickly surrounded the basket trying to see and their eyes were met with six mushrooms.

Soon, the birds in the trees flew away as the girls laughed uncontrollably.

"Why are you laughing?!" Bora argued and honestly wanted to fight them, but Siyeon touched her shoulder getting her attention.

Bora followed Siyeon's finger to where she was pointing at. Their baskets were full to the top of mushrooms and Mr. Kun just sighed smiling at the girls. Bora pressed her lips in a line, annoyed at the sight of everyone making fun of them.

"Somehow, I knew these two would be the worst ones." Mr. Kun spoke to the manager and Bora crossed her arms.

"There weren't any where we were at..." She glared at Yoohyeon and Gahyeon who were still laughing until tears came out of their eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laugh now. Night will soon come." Bora's voice was colored with threat as she smirked seeing Gahyeon's face drop.

"Don't you dare scare me or something!" Gahyeon whined and Bora moved her eyebrows up and down and winked at her. At least, she got her to shut up for starters.

"Alright, everyone! Let's head back and cook this before the night catches us." Mr. Kun said and they followed him back to their camping place, carrying their heavy baskets while the secret couple wasn't having any problems with their six mushrooms.

Bora wanted to trip up Yoohyeon but Siyeon grabbed her shirt stopping her. Bora pouted and crossed her arms like an upset child and Siyeon just shook her head and smiled a bit.

Once they arrived back, they set up the fire with Mr. Kun's help. Bora looked over and saw Siyeon getting a blanket and putting it around her as she sat down against a log. Bora walked over and when Siyeon looked up at her, Bora made a move with her hands telling her to spread her legs. Siyeon got shy widening her eyes but did as she was told and Bora sat down in between them.

"I didn't know you had such a dirty mind." Bora whispered and leaned into her trying to find the perfect position. Siyeon wrapped her arms around Bora so the blanket covered her as well.

"I don't know what you're talking about, baby." Siyeon whispered into her head and Bora smirked as she watched the big fire burn.

"Just ask the blush on your cheeks, maybe it has the answer."

Siyeon chuckled and held her tighter. She looked around at the others who were also cuddling so them two didn't look suspicious at all. Just no blatant kissing or flirting and they should be good.

As if Bora could hear her thoughts, she moved all of her hair to one side, leaving her neck exposed. Siyeon looked down at it and just wanted to place kisses all over it. She would make sure she did when everyone would have to go to bed.

Mr. Kun was nice enough to prepare mushroom stew by himself, and Gahyeon handed around the tasty food. Bora sat up while eating and Siyeon tried not to spill it on her clothes as she ate. The bugs were attacking them and it was hard to not get a fly in their stew.

They all talked for a while, explaining what they do to Mr. Kun who carefully listened to their stories about fame, concerts, tours.

"So, no boyfriends?" He turned to the manager as he chuckled at the joke and Bora almost choked on her food. Siyeon hit her back a few times trying hard not to laugh.

"Yeah, the girls have a dating ban. Boyfriends would just be a distraction from their work." Their manager spoke and the girls stayed quiet not reacting to that.

Bora looked over at Yoohyeon who was doodling something in the ground with a stick looking lost. Her gaze quickly shifted to each girl and everyone looked upset by it.

She felt her side being rubbed by Siyeon's hand and she smiled a bit. She felt so lucky having her right here, without anyone telling her if it was right or wrong. She had the freedom to love and be loved. 

"Alright, let's hit the beds, I mean tents ha ha!" Minji clapped happily at her joke and got upset when no one laughed. Yubin was cringing and just walked away.

Siyeon looked over at Handong collecting everyone's plates and smiled at her when she handed in hers. The two love birds got into their tent and Bora zipped it up making sure no bug would get in, but those guys always find a way somehow.

She felt Siyeon's arms wrap around her body from behind and her leaning in kissing her neck finally after behaving so well at the fireplace.

"Hey, I wanted to do that first..." Bora quietly spoke tilting her head to the side. Siyeon smiled against her skin and scooted over in the middle of the tent sitting on warm blankets.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Bora turned around and crawled over to Siyeon taking her lips slowly into her own. Siyeon placed her hand on the side of Bora's neck keeping her close. Bora pulled away and began teasing Siyeon by not touching her lips. Siyeon smiled and tried to capture her parted lips. She teased her back licking her lips and Bora took her tongue in, sucking on in.

Siyeon leaned in more aggressively and Bora moved closer straddling her as their tongues got more intense moving around while they made out.

Siyeon let Bora push her down on the blanket and intertwine their hands together.

Bora started kissing her neck again. Siyeon shut her eyes and when Bora began sucking on her skin, it was like a breath was knocked out of her.

"I'm screwed tomorrow." Siyeon breathed out thinking of all the hickeys she would have to cover up, but there was no way in hell she was making Bora stop.

The tingling sensation on her skin as Bora's lips sucked it in and gently nibbled on it was out of this world. It felt weird, yet she didn't want it to stop.

Bora sat up and Siyeon watched her take off her sweater.

"Getting hot in here?"

"Very." She leaned back down kissing Siyeon deeply and Siyeon rolled them over getting on top. Without even thinking much about it, she ran her hand down over Bora's breast. Bora tensed up at first but smiled into the kiss.

"Sorry..." Siyeon muttered shyly in between and her lips trailed down to Bora's neck.

"Touch me again."

Siyeon stopped kissing her neck and lifted her head slowly to meet Bora's eyes.

The most dumbfounded look was sitting on her face and Bora giggled taking Siyeon's hand and placed it back over her breast. Siyeon looked at her hand and then back at Bora who just stared at her smiling.

"Stop looking at me like that... I said what I said!" She chuckled slightly getting annoyed and Siyeon burst out laughing.

She leaned back down to kiss her again and gently squeezed her breast under her hand. Bora smiled and slid her hands down Siyeon's back over her ass.

"You're so touchy." Siyeon said while kissing her jaw.

"I thought you knew that already." Bora said grabbing Siyeon's ass tightly through her jeans.

"We should probably go to sleep, you know..."

Siyeon's breath tickled Bora's neck and she shut her eyes.

"Or we could have sex?"

Siyeon placed her hand over Bora's mouth and she let out a muffled giggle.

"I suddenly can't hear." Siyeon grinned and moved her hand away to kiss Bora again. Bora rolled them over and pinned Siyeon's hands above her head. Bora stared down at her and Siyeon bit her lip.

Something about this was very hot. Bora was very hot. 

"Are you cockblocking me?" Bora quietly asked and Siyeon smirked.

"There are no cocks in this equation, baby."

Bora immediately let go of her hands and started laughing loudly. Siyeon couldn't help but join her.

Bora rolled off her and still laughed lying on her back and suddenly the joke wasn't even funny anymore, but the girls couldn't stop laughing at each other.

"God, what the hell is going on with Bora and Siyeon?" Minji mumbled as they woke her up and she moved closer to a sound asleep Yoohyeon who snored lightly.

Both lying on their backs exhausted from their laughing fits, they were trying to calm down, but a chuckle or two still left their mouths.

"You're crazy..." Bora breathed out and Siyeon held her tummy. It hurt so badly. It felt like she did 100 sit-ups.

"Your laugh is contagious, I love it." Siyeon smiled and Bora moved closer to her and just rested her head on her chest.

"I'm so happy with you Siyeon. I'm so happy that we're together." She said it against her shirt and Siyeon hugged her tightly kissing her head.

"I'm happy too."

"Let's change and go to sleep or we'll look like zombies tomorrow." Bora turned to face her and gave her a quick kiss.

Getting into their nightwear, silence finally took over their tent as they cuddled under the blankets. Siyeon clung as close as possible to Bora feeling the warmth of her small body. It was like she was a human hot water bottle. Siyeon thought she could really get used to this.

"You keep me warm." She spoke and tightened the grip on Bora who just chuckled sleepily.

"Oh, I just remembered, what made you all giggly back there?"

It took Bora half a second to understand what moment Siyeon was referring to.

"I just imagined us on some big beautiful grass field, lying down and making out, while the sky above us was so blue, no clouds were in sight. It was really nice." 

"We will do that one day."

Bora hummed agreeing snuggling closer to Siyeon before sleep kicked in and her breathing got slower. Siyeon kissed her head once and held her close drifting to sleep as well.

\--

Siyeon woke up to soft kisses being placed on her cheek and she opened her eyes slowly trying to adjust to the bright color of the tent because of the sun burning through it. Bora smiled at her and placed another kiss on her forehead.

"Morning, beautiful."

Siyeon smiled brightly still sleepy-looking and moved her arms out of the blanket, stretching her whole body. 

"I would let you sleep more, but I can hear everyone outside being awake already."

Siyeon sat up and nodded as she yawned. She looked around sleepily and rubbed her face.

"What are we even doing today?"

She looked over to Bora who began fixing Siyeon's messy bed hair.

"I heard them talking about fishing."

"Well, let's go catch some fish."

Since the size of the tent didn't allow them to stand up, Siyeon moved the blankets away and crawled over to her bag. Bora watched her take off her clothes and her eyes fell on all the hickeys she left on her neck from the night before. Moving further down, her eyes scanned her bra down to her underwear as she was sitting and pulling off her pyjama bottoms.

Bora subconciously licked her lips, biting them. She was suddenly feeling too hot. Siyeon being almost naked in this tight space was making her head spin with dirty thoughts. 

"Can you not eat me with your eyes?" Siyeon asked smirking throwing away her clothes and moved her arms back to support herself. Bora got flustered and looked away quickly.

"You just... look really hot and the air in this tiny tent isn't enough for me right now." She nibbled on her lip and looked back over when she saw Siyeon crawling over slowly.

She straddled her wrapping her arms around her neck. Bora gulped looking down her body again that was only covered in underwear that was way too lacy for Bora's mind to function properly.

She looked back up into Siyeon's eyes and those damn eyes were staring back right into her soul. Bora thought she might faint.

Siyeon didn't waste time and crashed her lips into Bora's. Bora wrapped her hands around her thighs pulling her closer as she hungrily kissed her. Siyeon began slowly grinding on Bora and Bora knew damn well she was doing it on purpose. It was making her crazy and she tightly squeezed Siyeon's thighs and earning a moan from her. 

"Siyeeeon! Boooraa! Hurry up!"

They pulled away breathing heavily against each other's lips. 

"Dammit..." Bora breathed out staring down at Siyeon's chest and softened the grip on her legs.

"There's no cockblocking, but there's definitely Minji." Siyeon sighed loudly getting off Bora and quickly grabbed some clothes to put on. She grabbed her makeup bag and quickly tried to cover those hickeys from last night. Bora watched her and smiled devilishly. She marked her up pretty nicely.

"Finally, what took you so long?" With arms crossed over her chest, their manager asked them angrily once they got out of the tent. The girls looked at each other kinda panicking as they didn't think of a good excuse.

"Uh, I couldn't find my phone..."

The manager rolled her eyes at Bora and turned her back to them walking over to Mr. Kun.

They were ready to leave and the two girls were minding their own business walking at the back of the line when Yubin waited for them to catch up and wrapped her arm around Siyeon's neck. Bora furrowed her eyebrows at Yubin's naughty smirk.

"You forgot to cover this one..." She whispered and poked a hickey on the side of Siyeon's neck. Her eyes widened in horror and she slapped her hand over the spot Yubin poked. Bora watched it all and bit her lip trying not to laugh. Yubin giggled and winked at them before picking up her pace and leaving them behind.

"Bora, I'll kill you." Siyeon whispered and tried to move her hair to the side where the hickey was. Bora chuckled and moved closer, placing her hand on Siyeon's tummy.

"Oh, baby. There's still a whole week left. We'll have so much fun together." She whispered into her ear and Siyeon knew tonight, she was actually screwed. 


	27. "Can you wait for me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: December 23, 2019   
> Warnings: small sexual scene

Tuesday, December 31, 4:27 am.

Bora sat her phone back down on the nightstand and rolled on her back deeply exhaling. The room was slightly illuminated by the moonlight finding its way through the gap in the curtains.

She stared at the white ceiling. Everything was quiet beside her mind. It was busy with thoughts that she wished she never had to have again.

She thought back to the other day...

_"Will she actually attend the party?"  
"I'm not sure, she probably has a busy schedule, but I have a feeling she might..."  
"Minji, what am I going to do... I haven't seen her in what... A year and a half."  
"Just... Don't overthink. If it's meant to be, it will be."_

A single tear slid down as the memories brought a faint smile on her face. Not a smile you have on when you are happy, but a smile that makes your heart ache. When you long for that one moment, that nostalgia that creeps into every corner of your body. When you're missing someone, you can't have. 

Flipping on her stomach, she reached over to the other side of the bed with her arm, stretching it and gripping the sheets.

Cold.

It was always the cold side of the bed. Better yet, the empty side. Ever since she left her.

She gripped them harder to the point where her fist began shaking as she choked back tears. She moved over closer, getting goosebumps all over her body. She shivered and hugged the pillow tightly. The scent was still there. It was faint but enough for Bora to cry herself to sleep.

The annoying melody of her alarm woke her up. She keeps forgetting to change it.

Instinctively, without looking up, she tried to get a hold of her phone but her hand couldn't find anything as the nightstand was empty. She opened her eyes and indeed, the nightstand was only collecting dust that got onto her hand now.

The melody was still going off and she was more confused than ever. She furrowed her eyebrows when it hit her where she fell asleep last night. She turned her head and looked over at the other nightstand with her phone buzzing, threatening to fall off.

Feeling another wave of tears creeping in, she grabbed the pillow she was hugging all night and buried her head into it trying to stop the pain from coming.

But it was there. It never left her. 

Finally crawling over and turning off the alarm, she sat up on the bed. She felt sick to her stomach remembering today's party.

Staring into the wooden floor she grabbed her phone and quickly texted Minji.

[Bora]  
 _I don't think I can come._

\--

Jogging through the park, Bora hoped she could clear her head a bit. Focusing only on her breathing as she ran, she felt better, but it still wouldn't leave her mind. It was like a tattoo on her body that just can't magically disappear. Once you fall in love and get your heart shattered to pieces, that feeling never really leaves you. 

Slowing down her pace, she put her hands on her hips as she began walking, getting her heart rate back to normal.

_Inhale through nose, exhale through mouth._ Stressing about that damn new year's event was so pointless. She decided not to go; therefore, everything would be okay.

She nodded as she walked. She tried her best to convince herself that that was the truth. That she didn't want to go. That she didn't want to see her. That just the tiniest possibility of her being there didn't make her heart fill with the feeling of hope. That they can still become what they once were.

Getting back to her apartment, she took a shower and made some breakfast. All before she had to get to the company. Teaching young trainees was really fun and she enjoyed it, but today she would rather crawl into her bed and watch sappy movies, cry her already broken heart out.

She was zoned out stirring her tea when her phone buzzed. She looked over and saw that Minji replied. She sighed and picked up her phone, leaning back on the couch.

[Minji]  
 _Bora we already talked about it...  
I know you're scared, but she's probably scared as well.  
I won't pressure you into a decision, but I think you'll regret it more if you don't come...  
Don't let a 'what if' eat you up <3_

She placed the phone aside and exhaled letting her head fall back. She hated Minji for always making so much sense. What would she do without her?

\--

"What do you think of this one?" Minji showed Bora a dress she took out of the rack. Bora's eyes quickly scanned over it and she pulled a face making Minji groan and angrily shove the dress back in making it crease up.

"Seriously, what's the point in calling me to help you buy a dress when you're so goddamn picky?" Minji spoke and kept browsing more dresses.

"I'm not picky. I just...want to look good. That's all." Bora quietly said biting her lip as she looked around the store hopelessly.

"You want to look good in case someone does arrive, am I right?" Minji's lips for a smirk and she raised her eyebrows.

Bora rolled her eyes and turned around not wanting Minji to see the redness on her face. She walked around the store to a section that caught her eye. They had been shopping, well, trying to shop for the past two hours.

She was tired from work and she hoped her eye didn't fool her. Carefully walking over to it, as if it would disappear, she touched it lightly feeling the material.

A tight short sleeve red dress. This could be it.

"Hey, Minji! Come over!"

When Bora walked out of the changing rooms, Minji's eyes nearly fell out. She saw Bora in multiple outfits throughout the years they were a group. Hell, she even saw her naked, yet every time she looked at her, she would get stunned by her beauty. The red dress was hugging her body showing off her curves and Minji wondered how she looked so effortlessly captivating.

"Damn... If she doesn't want you, I'll have you." Minji chuckled and Bora quickly grabbed her T-shirt from the changing room and threw it at her face. Minji laughed and pulled it off, fixing her hair.

"Seriously, what do you think?" Bora turned around a few times and posed awkwardly for Minji who observed her and nodded slowly, deep in thought.

"If you wear some beige or nude colored heels, it will be great. Even gold could work, you could put some jewelry to match it all."

Bora looked in the mirror trying to imagine what Minji suggested. She had the perfect heels at her apartment. 

She ran her fingers repeatedly through her long brown hair, already knowing she would make it wavy for the evening. 

"Minji, I'm nervous already..." She fiddled with her hands and looked over at Minji who got off her seat giving her a warm smile that could make the rain go away. She wrapped her arms around the shorter girl's neck and leaned her head against hers while they stared at her dress in the mirror.

"It will be okay. I promise." She said and kissed Bora's temple making her instantly shut her eyes and exhale all the uneasiness out.

\--

On the other side of the world, stepping into the black private jet, America's breakthrough artist took a seat and pulled the hood over her head. Her manager sat on the other side of the jet, busy with work on his laptop.

She put in her earbuds and let the music carry her away. She stared through the window as the jet took off meeting the clouds in the sky.

As she watched the white clouds, her mind became clouded as well.

Was she doing the right thing coming back? Would she be there? How would she react?

She pulled out her phone from her brand-new designer bag and quickly searched 'Dreamcatcher Kim Bora" on Google. She opened the pictures tab and slowly scrolled down, opening some, catching herself pull her lips into a small smile. Oh, how she missed her...

She ran her finger over one of her favorite pictures of her. She didn't keep any photos on her phone or laptop. She had them all on two hard drives. Two, just in case something would happen to the first one. She couldn't bring herself to erase all those memories just like that. They were her best ones and played a major part in her life. She wouldn't change a thing. Well, maybe just that day when she left. She would've kissed her deeply in front of the whole airport, letting her know that she was the only thing that mattered to her.

It could have been different. This sadness didn't need to happen, yet they let it happen. Selfishly, lazily, passionless.

Now, was the chance to make it all right. Perhaps, the only chance.

\--

Bora fixed her wavy hair a bit as she stepped out of the taxi. She waved to the fans that blinded her with flashes going off, trying to get the perfect photo in just a few seconds before Bora quickly entered the building. She wasn't even an idol anymore, yet she still had a loyal army of supporters. 

The staff inside guided her to the elevator and said the event was taking place on the top floor. She thanked them and went inside the elevator. She pressed the number 25 and watched the doors slowly close.

_It's happening, it's really, actually happening_. She kept repeating inside her head and the anxiety stung her heart all the way down to her legs as they tingled.

What if she was already there?

The scary thought made its way to her head. Minji would have probably texted her. She wouldn't just let Bora have a heart attack in the middle of the crowd. That would be a nice headline, though. She chuckled to herself and was nibbling furiously at her lip. 

She groaned catching herself in the mirror. Smudged lips as if she was kissing someone. Not a good look.

She quickly fixed it before the elevator finally stopped. Taking a quick breath in, she exhaled slowly once the doors opened.

Here goes nothing.

She stepped out and walked towards the big hall already seeing the sea of people. She politely greeted everyone as she walked, stopped for a bit to talk, before finally making her way over to her girls who were impatiently waiting for her. Minji whistled staring her up and down.

"Daaamn girl, can I get your number?"

The girls laughed and Bora punched her gently in the shoulder. She hugged the rest of them and they exchanged compliments with each other.

"You opted for a nude color, huh?" Minji sipped on her drink and pointed at Bora's heels. Bora looked down and showed them off a bit.

"Yeah, I think overall it looks really nice." She put her matching color clutch bag into her other hand and took a glass of champagne that a waiter was serving around. She saw Handong staring at her golden necklace that was hanging over the red dress. It was a simple design with a thin chain. Bora's lips turned upwards into a small smile.

"You were there that night, right?"

Handong's head shot up, her eyes meeting Bora's. The expression on her face showed a bit of guilt because she didn't want to get caught staring like that so she simply nodded.

"Was were?" Gahyeon joined and looked back and forth between Bora and Handong. Yubin leaned in closer to inspect the shiny necklace.

"One night, they were fighting and it got intense, but then she gave her that necklace and-" Handong was cut off by Gahyeon butting in still confused about the whole topic. 

"Bora and who?"

"Siyeon." Bora breathlessly spoke when she spotted the girl just walking into the hall.

Thanking a waiter, he helped her take off her long beige coat that hid a black sleeveless jumpsuit underneath it. It was slim and it showed off her long legs with beige heels on her feet. She shyly looked around and gently touched her black shoulder-length hair that was slicked back behind her ears. She looked like a million bucks. 

She quickly got all eyes on her, feeling like an intruder to the party.

She began walking forward a bit and greeted some of the staff that recognized her immediately, she kept looking around when their eyes finally met in the crowd. Heartbeats got faster, skin shivered, time stopped.

All the feelings in the world came crashing into them. Both girls wanted to run to each other, hug tightly, kiss in front of everyone, scream in anger, cry and get pulled back when a fight would break out.

The moment became too much and Bora suddenly felt light-headed by the cocktail of emotions running through her veins. Her glass almost slipped out of her hand before Yubin quickly grabbed it from her and placed it back on the table. Siyeon's haunting gaze was interrupted by the CEO getting her attention.

"I can't do this." Bora quietly said feeling again the same heartache in her chest. She grabbed Yoohyeon's drink and chugged it down. She saw another one on the table they were at and finished that one as well. The girls didn't know what to say, there was no way to help her calm down.

"Bora, seriously, don't get wasted, otherwise you won't get a chance to talk to her... I'll go say hi." Minji walked over and Bora buried her head into Yoohyeon who wrapped her arms around her. The other girls couldn't do much but stare at Bora empathetically.

"Take me somewhere. Out of this hall." She whispered into her dress shirt and Yoohyeon took her hand and walked with her out on the balcony.

Feeling the fresh air hit her face, Bora felt better instantly. She walked around the big balcony, throwing her clutch aside and stared at all the night lights in Seoul. Leaning against the railing, her eyes scanned around the city as if she was trying to find something, anything, just to get her mind distracted.

Yoohyeon walked over and ran her hand lightly over her back.

"Do you miss her?" She quietly asked watching the smaller girl's side profile twitch at the question.

"Every day, Yoohyeon. Every day, my heart breaks a tiny bit more." She swallowed the lump in her throat that had been building up and was ready to send her tears rolling. Yoohyeon brought her hand on the back of Bora's head and gently rubbed it. She gave her a small smile before shifting her eyes back to the city buildings.

\--

"It was hard to let this gem go, but the deal was too good, you know?!" The CEO laughed with Siyeon's manager and their staff as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

Siyeon felt uncomfortable in their presence. They were discussing her like she was an object or money with legs. She kept fake smiling at the men and tried to figure out a way to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.

All her annoyance was pushed aside for a second when a familiar pair of hands wrapped around her arm, gently squeezing it. She snapped her head and her eyes met with one of the warmest eyes she knew.

"Minji..." Her smile was now genuine and relief showered over her just by looking at her former group member. She had that effect on people. Her big smile never left her face and she pulled Siyeon closer.

"Come over to see the girls."

Siyeon's face dropped and again fear came to her, but Minji instantly shook her head reading the younger girl's thoughts.

"Yoohyeon took her somewhere."

"Oh." Siyeon just nodded looking down. Minji interlocked their arms and they began walking over to the rest of the girls.

"I want to see her." The words slipped out of Siyeon's mouth with a dose of uncertainty. She didn't know if Bora even wanted to do the same. The sheer thought of that had her heart clench up.

"You will." Minji gently leaned into Siyeon trying to reassure her. Siyeon exhaled and smiled at Minji's touch.

\--

"The USA is just crazy. It was really tough at first to get used to it all, the industry is different." Siyeon sighed remembering all those hard times. She brought her glass to her plump red lips and sipped the champagne letting it slide down her throat. If the girls knew how many times she got drunk, they would hit her. Hollywood was bringing out the worst in her and she was very lonely over there.

"But wait, you're still with us, I mean the company?" Yubin questioned and poured herself another glass of water from the jug.

"It's complicated. Obviously, I can't just tell you the contract information, but the company does take a certain percentage."

The girls nodded and no one spoke again letting a bit of thick air grow between them. They all felt the tension, it wasn't jealousy of Siyeon's success, it was just a weird situation. The group they once were was gone, their bond got a bit rusty since they couldn't really see each other. It was hard and Siyeon wished it wasn't like that. Of course, she was content with her progress as an artist, but she did miss her girls badly. She missed her badly and she needed to see her now.

"Where is Bora?" She suddenly spoke making the girls lift their heads towards her. They saw a change in her eyes. Was it all the alcohol or something else, they couldn't tell.

"On the balcony with Yoohyeon." Gahyeon spoke looking in the direction of it. Siyeon stood up from her stool and grabbed her purse. They didn't need to speak more; they just watched her walk away from them. Just like she did back then.

Yoohyeon was leaning with her back and elbows on the railing when she saw a figure approaching the balcony door. She tried to hide the smirk that was appearing on her lips.

"Hey, I'm a bit cold, I'll go back in." She spoke and Bora just nodded, lost in her own thoughts. Yoohyeon patted her shoulder once and walked over meeting Siyeon's eyes through the glass doors. They smiled at each other and hugged when Yoohyeon got back inside. Yoohyeon rested her hands on Siyeon's shoulders and pointed with her head towards Bora.

"Go get her. She's been waiting."

Siyeon nodded once and took a deep breath in. Yoohyeon caressed her cheek smiling before leaving her by herself.

Getting on the balcony, she slid the door back almost closing it. They needed privacy.

She placed her purse on a chair and Bora heard the clicking sound of heels slowly approaching her. It was an insecure, slow walk as the sound had a bit of a pause in between each step.

"You've always been the braver one, Siyeon."

Siyeon put her hands on the railing and her eyes gazed over the city she once called hers. It would always have a special place in her heart.

She turned her head slowly to finally look closer at Bora for the first time since the day she left. She changed her hair back to brown. She got skinnier... Or maybe it was just the tight dress she was wearing, Siyeon couldn't tell. It had been too long.

"So beautiful." Bora spoke, eyes still fixated on the city.

"Yes, you are." Siyeon said and watched Bora shut her eyes and a shy smile appeared on her face. She felt so weak how such a simple sentence warmed her heart and made her knees feel like jelly. She opened her eyes again and got the courage to look back into the dark eyes that stared at her.

She wanted to say something. Anything.

Instead, she simply shifted her gaze back to the city and watched the tiny cars drive off. She felt Siyeon's piercing eyes still on her.

"All my songs were about you."

Bora wheezed unamused hearing that. "I didn't know I'm a he or him."

"Bora, you know I couldn't just-"

"I know. I get it..." Bora cut her off quietly.

Siyeon turned around letting her elbows rest on the railing. She looked at the crowd through the balcony windows. They were enjoying the last day of the year dancing around, getting drunk, not having to deal with a broken heart.

"Do you remember what I asked of you that day in bed, on our last night together?" Siyeon asked while she stared at Yoohyeon and Yubin dancing funnily, making fools of themselves.

"Can you wait for me?" Bora easily recalled the painful memory like it was yesterday. She put her hands together and rubbed them gently.

"I remember every detail of that night. The tone of your voice, the way our tears began rolling down our cheeks at the same time, the way your lips tasted, the way your body moved against mine for the last time... It was the worst day of my life." Bora breathed out, the pain in her chest only growing as she stared at her hands blinking away tears.

"It doesn't have to be the last time..." Siyeon walked over closer and placed her hand over Bora's arm that was resting on the railing.

"Siyeon..." Bora sighed looking at her hand. She barely refrained herself from placing her own hand over and hold it tightly. She missed all of her touches. The way she would always find a way to hold her hand or just be close to her.

"I know we tried and it didn't work out... I was frustrated with the whole move and getting used to America wasn't easy. I took it all out on everyone around me and on you too. Everyone seemed salty about the whole thing, relationships got cold, time did its thing..." Siyeon spoke and Bora sniffed, looking up at the sadness that pouring out of Siyeon's eyes.

"I know we broke up mutually agreeing that it was for the better, but I know deep inside we both regret it. That video chat will haunt me forever. I never meant to say those hurtful words. I'm sorry, Bora. I truly am."

Siyeon didn't even notice how her fingers nervously began playing with Bora's skin as if her hands never forgot that silky feeling underneath them.

"I'm sorry too." It was the only thing Bora could say. She had so much more. She wanted to be angry at her, she wanted to fight, to tell her how much she cried over her, but her tongue didn't move. 

The fireworks going off startled them both a bit. They didn't notice it was midnight already. Just how long were they out here? 

Suddenly, the crowd from the party joined them on the balcony making noise and they were pushed closer to each other, the two bodies pressed together once again. Everyone was ready with their phones, taking pictures and filming the multiple fireworks going off in between the tall buildings of Seoul, being completely fascinated by the artwork, but the two girls were living in the moment, staring deeply into each other's eyes.

"This is the part where people usually kiss..." Siyeon spoke and Bora watched her face getting colored by all the different colors of the firework in the sky.

"So what are you waiting for?" Bora asked shifting her gaze towards the lips in front of her. Siyeon placed her hand under Bora's chin and let their lips meet again after so long.

They couldn't hear the cheering others had for the beautiful firework that seemed to never stop painting the night sky. They had their own firework going off in their bodies as they kissed more and more, deeper each time. Tasting the champagne mixed with the undeniable lust for each other, their tongues became intoxicated never wanting to get off this high.

It was Bora who broke it off and hid her head into Siyeon's chest, breathing in her sweet perfume. Siyeon's arms found their way around her neck, holding her tightly as she watched the rest of the flashing lights quietly.

The party continued later on, but the two girls had other plans. As they waited for the taxi, Siyeon put her coat over Bora's shoulders and she looked at the ground smiling.

For the whole ride back to Bora's apartment, all they did was stare at their hands playing with one another, slowly feeling each crease, tracing popped veins, knuckles that resembled ocean waves. Siyeon took Bora's hand and kissed the back of it making Bora lean into her, shutting her eyes at the safety she instantly felt.

Once they got inside, the soft moments quickly disappeared. Heels were getting kicked off, purses dropped, the dress and jumpsuit thrown to the side as they made their way to the bed hungrily kissing each other. Underwear met the floor, and the room was soon filled with moans and all other sounds of pleasure that they craved for way too long.

"Baby, your hips still move the same way." Siyeon breathlessly spoke after god knows how many rounds.

Her eyes couldn't get enough of watching Bora's silhouette move on top of her. She tightened the grip on her legs, digging her nails in making her let out a whimper. Siyeon couldn't tell since the room was almost pitch black, but Bora's eyes were filled with tears and one or two slipped out, falling down her cheeks.

She couldn't stop them. She knew Siyeon would have to leave tomorrow again and all of this would feel like a bad dream. The same day all over again. The same heartache all over again.

They fell asleep on Siyeon's side of the bed and Bora clung to her not wanting tomorrow to arrive.

\--

Bora woke up to Siyeon's fingers gently running down her bare back, the thin sheet covering her lower body. She opened her eyes slowly getting used to the light and met Siyeon's sleepy eyes.

"It feels like nothing has changed." Siyeon's hoarse voice broke off the silence.

Bora turned around on her back, shutting her eyes again and Siyeon watched her chest move as she slowly breathed. Her pale skin was like diamonds in the sun and Siyeon suddenly realized, she might like diamonds after all. 

"Nothing has changed. At least not in here." Bora took Siyeon's hand and placed it on her chest over her heart. Siyeon lifted herself and leaned closer to Bora, lips softly kissing her cheek.

"Don't leave, please..." Bora rolled over on her side, burying her head into Siyeon's chest like she would always do when she was upset.

"Come with me." Siyeon rubbed her back and kissed her shoulder, letting her chin rest on it.

"We can make it work this time." She whispered against Bora's shoulder who began crying again silently, shaking her head, hair tickling Siyeon's skin.

"I have asked you to wait for me and you did. Now, I'm promising you this. Please, baby."

"I can't just leave like that. I have work here... I'm still with the company... I-I can't." Bora began shaking her head faster and choked on her tears. She sobbed burying her head deeper and clinging onto Siyeon who just held her tightly, trying to soothe her aching heart.

\--

Walking over to the private jet was a dreadful walk. Holding Siyeon's hand loosely, Bora stared at the ground, completely empty of tears. Siyeon's manager was already angry at Siyeon not returning his calls and texts since last night, so he ignored them and walked up the few stairs into the jet. The airport worker was standing awkwardly to the side waiting for everyone to board the jet.

Siyeon looked to the jet then turned her body to face Bora's hollow eyes.

"Same place, different setting, huh?" Bora said while staring at the luxurious jet that was ready to pierce through the clouds. 

"Come with me. Please." Siyeon squeezed her hand making her look at her.

"I... I-I need time..." Bora stuttered and bit her lip. Siyeon placed both hands on her cheeks cupping her small face.

"I need you in my life, please. We can work it out this time, I promise you." Siyeon spoke and Bora placed her hands over hers, staring into Siyeon's eyes and being more conflicted than ever.

She already had her heart broken once. She already experienced the insufferable pain and hollowness in her chest. If she chose what her heart was telling her, she' would jump into that jet and fly away with Siyeon, never looking back. Her heart wouldn't mind getting broken again and again if it meant being with her just for a while.

On the other side, her mind was telling her to wait. To wait and sit this through. Let it all sink in first and make the decision after everything was considered and taken care of. Mainly her job here in Korea.

"Siyeon, fucking come on already! We're already running late!" Her manager yelled from the entrance of the jet, making sure he hits the jet with his fist out of anger. Bora ignoring him looked again at Siyeon and slid her hands to her wrists.

"Back then... You asked me to wait..." Bora began and Siyeon nodded running her thumbs over her cheeks.

"Now, I'm asking you the same... Can you wait for me?" Bora asked and Siyeon stared at her, letting her question linger in the air for a moment before bringing her face closer and kissing her deeply like she wanted to on that day.

Whatever Bora will choose, Siyeon wouldn't leave regretfully. Not this time.

She pulled away slowly meeting the eyes she loved the most. 

"I'll wait forever if I have to..."


	28. "Enough! I heard enough."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to [ Sara68650 ](https://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view_author_stories/2035613/L)for suggesting this idea to me :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: December 28, 2019  
> Warnings: none

Having a lazy day in the dorm, Siyeon was browsing through old songs on YouTube. Specifically, older K-pop songs.

A wave of nostalgia took over her and she was amazed by how well she remembered all the lyrics after so long. 

Dancing and singing along in the living room, she was alone in her own world, not caring for a thing. She couldn't really remember where the other girls were, only Yubin was in her room also wanting to be left alone. They see each other's faces every day, so they cherish every second of their alone time.

She kept clicking on recommended songs and stumbled upon something that immediately caught her attention. 

"Oh my god, Yezi!" 

If Siyeon recalled correctly, Yezi was a part of the 'Unpretty Rapstar', a popular Korean TV show for female rappers which followed a survival model with eliminations. At the time, her song "Treat me roughly" was well-received, the collaboration with the male rapper Hanhae was a great idea, but unfortunately, she got eliminated. 

Tapping on the thumbnail, the screen loaded the song. Siyeon started bobbing her head to the beat and smiled putting the phone aside. It was showtime.

She began rapping with Yezi, moving side to side of the room as if she was performing in front of an audience. She imagined all the haters staring at her since the song was actually a diss track, but what made it great were the lyrics that could be read in two different ways.

" _Treat me roughly, handle me roughly..._ " She rapped along with the chorus. " _And I'll strip you roughly, you can just ride on top roughly!_ " She stopped in place and grinded the air, moving her hips slowly, making sure the imaginary haters see how she hits every spot on her 'ride'. 

While Siyeon was busy trying to take over Yubin's main rapper position, Bora got out of the van and politely thanked their driver. Still a bit sweaty from the dance practice she finished, she jogged to their dorm, climbing up the stairs two by two, wanting to get to the shower as quickly as possible. Her muscles were sore and she just wanted to feel the warm water ease them up.

Unlocking the front door, she walked in and was met with loud music blasting from the living room. She furrowed her eyebrows and slowly turned her hand to lock the door. Her lips were being pulled into a smile when she realized what song it was and who was rapping along. 

" _Throw a leash at me, then will you control me?_ " 

" _If you want it, then I'll bark..._ " 

" _Then do you think you can handle me?_ " 

Bora smirked at the dirty undertone of the words and walked closer on her tiptoes to the living room. She peeked in and saw Siyeon with her back turned to the door while dancing along.

Bora smoothly leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms over her chest watching Siyeon's every grind, every sway of her hips and body rolls. She was in her gray sweatpants, but she still somehow made it look hot, which made Bora bite her lip, trying to hide just how much she was enjoying Siyeon's performance. 

" _Shall I make it hotter...?_ " Both girls said the line and Siyeon froze in the spot when the flirty voice from behind joined her.

She quickly spun around spotting Bora's black jacket hanging off her elbows, revealing her red crop top with black shorts underneath it. Siyeon swallowed and lifted her gaze to meet her dangerous eyes that were only looking for trouble.

She clumsily walked over to her phone to distract herself and paused the video completely embarrassed as she was caught in act and by Bora out of everyone. Just her luck. 

"Why did you stop it?" Bora giggled and walked confidently over to Siyeon. "I love that song..." Their hands briefly brushed against each other when Bora tapped the screen to continue the song.

She tossed her jacket on the couch and moved closer to Siyeon who started backing away knowing well enough what was about to happen.

"No, no, no..." Siyeon shyly smiled and moved her hands up in defense, trying not to die on the spot with the way Bora's eyes were looking up at her.

She began dancing in a way only she knew, enjoying herself grinding on Siyeon who was now being pushed to the wall with no escape plan left.

Bora turned around pressing her back against Siyeon's pounding chest and Siyeon closed her eyes when Bora did a quick slutdrop running her hands slowly over her thighs as she came back up. 

There wasn't much left of the song and Siyeon was very thankful for it because it doesn't take Bora long to fully let loose. She had no problem expressing herself through dancing and was thriving in being as sexy as possible.

Siyeon exhaled and a nervous chuckle escaped her mouth when the song finished and Bora turned around to look at the redness in her face that she caused. 

"You're so cute when you panic like this." She walked over to the couch to grab her jacket. "Don't think you can handle me though." She winked letting more panic settle into Siyeon's body. 

"Uh, what exactly did you hear? When did you even come back?" Siyeon spoke remembering all those dirty lyrics she rapped with confidence. 

"Enough! I heard enough." Bora giggled. "Thanks for the dance practice, maybe we can do one again soon." She blew her a kiss and left the room like she just didn't burn down the whole place... And Siyeon too. 

"Stupid song." Siyeon muttered into her chin and ran her hand through her hair knowing she was done for the day with her nostalgia trip.

\--

The rest of the day, she avoided Bora like the plague. She was way too embarrassed and honestly felt overwhelmed by the whole thing. Bora was always the biggest tease and loved making the girls uncomfortable. There was never a limit, she always crossed the line and Siyeon thought her own brain was tricking her into thinking there was more to it than just Bora being her playful self.

Still, she was glad she managed to avoid her, even though Bora helped her by going out of the dorm again for something. Gahyeon said she didn't mention the reason. It didn't really matter to Siyeon, as long as she wasn't there to tease her about their little dance. 

She wanted to distract herself so Minji and her were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie, too busy to notice that Siyeon's dance partner arrived back to the dorm. She didn't bother greeting them, she had other plans to take care of, which involved carefully sneaking into Siyeon's room before she could notice and leaving her a little gift under the pillow. She smiled like the devil at her genius idea and returned to her own room. 

Finishing the movie, the girls got ready for bed and their much-appreciated sleep time. Siyeon slid her arm under her pillow wanting to get comfortable when something poked her hand. Turning on her night light, she took her hand out and supported herself on her elbows. Moving the pillow up revealed a black dog collar. There was also a note next to it. Siyeon's confused eyes suddenly widened as she read it.

_"I'm sure I can handle you though..."_

Siyeon could feel her cheeks and the back of her neck burning hot. She quickly shoved Bora's lovely present back under her pillow hoping it could magically disappear if she couldn't see it.

Bora was absolutely crazy, Siyeon thought to herself not knowing what to do. Her phone screen lighted up distracting her and she picked it up to see she got a text from Bora. Perfect timing.

_Oh_ _God,_ _what_ _now..._

[Bora] 

_Bark_ _if_ _you_ _want_ _it ;)_

Siyeon blankly stared at the picture she attached. In between her perfect shiny teeth, there was a dog leash that matched the collar she hid under her pillow. Siyeon felt her whole body getting hot with the way Bora was looking at the camera with her flirtatious eyes. 

"Hey, Minji?" Siyeon spoke quietly not knowing if the older girl was already asleep or not. Yubin, sure enough was, her snoring gave it away.

"Yes?" Minji spoke, her eyes never leaving her phone. The game Yoohyeon recommended her was way too addicting. The group's best gamer challenged Minji to beat her score and there was no way in hell she would back out of that challenge. 

"Remind me to never listen to music ever again... or dance... or rap or anything..." Siyeon spoke still staring at Bora's picture. She couldn't understand how that girl could make everything look so hot.

_If I took a picture with a dog leash in my mouth, I'd probably look like an actual puppy ready for a walk._

"...What?" Minji's eyes left the phone screen and she tilted her head to check if she heard the girl below her bunk correctly. She instantly shifted her gaze back to her phone when a 'Game over' message was displayed across the screen to which Yoohyeon would be pleased. 

"Just... do that." Siyeon sighed hopelessly and buried her head into her pillow. Her hand slid back underneath it and played with the collar.

"Siyeon, what on Earth are you talking about?" Minji restarted the game not understanding a word from her roommate. Maybe she was sleep talking.

"Woof, woof, baby." Siyeon mumbled into the pillow making herself chuckle at the situation she got herself into. One wrong song and it was 'Game over'... 


	29. "I'm doing this for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: January 2, 2020  
> Warnings: none

"You've heard me. Your forfeit is to kiss Bora. Not just a quick peck, a full-on make-out session." Minji sipped her soju and smirked at Siyeon who sat across from her, panic written all over her face. "You said if we want to bet, we did and you lost. Simple." She shrugged.

"Minji, I can't... You know how I feel about her." Siyeon sighed and stared at Minji with pleading eyes hoping she would change her mind.

"Exactly. That's why I'm helping you out. This is your best chance since she's oblivious and you're too much of a coward." Minji shook her head and leaned back in her seat.

The restaurant they were in was almost empty. Everyone, but Siyeon were enjoying the late Friday night.

"Look, just tell her about the forfeit, how I dared you or something... Knowing her, she will probably do it." 

"And what if I chicken out? If I don't do it?" Siyeon asked nervously playing with her napkin. 

"You have three days starting from tomorrow." Minji put three of her fingers up making sure she was loud and clear. "If you don't, I'll think of something even worse, so choose wisely." She chuckled a bit seeing Siyeon drop her head on the table in frustration. She made a mental note to never bet with Minji ever again. 

"Okay..." She lifted her head and Minji raised her eyebrows at the sudden change of attitude. "If I do do it, what do I get?" Siyeon smirked. 

"Hm... I'll take you somewhere nice and treat you food, deal?" Minji smiled.

"Deal." Siyeon nodded as a small smile formed on her face. 

\-- 

Siyeon peeked over at Bora who was on the floor stretching after the dance practice was done. She has been holding it in for the whole day, not really having the chance to talk to Bora alone. Even if she did, how would she muster up the courage to tell her what she needs of her.

_To kiss Bora or to do something way worse than that..._ Siyeon started thinking of things that would be worse than that.

Everything. Everything would be worse than kissing the most beautiful woman she had ever laid her eyes upon. 

She watched her laugh about something with Yoohyeon and cover her perfect teeth with her hand. Siyeon hated that. Her smile should be seen by everyone all the time. She was just too perfect to hide away. 

"Hey, why are you staring at me like that?" Bora's voice broke her train of thought and she blinked once meeting Bora's curious eyes.

"Uh, I zoned out, sorry." Siyeon answered smiling shyly and Bora just chuckled getting off the floor, turning her attention to Yoohyeon again.

_This is going to be a pain in the ass._

\-- 

Back at the dorm, Bora was preparing dinner with Handong who was showing her an old Chinese recipe. She was missing her family so much and the traditional Chinese food, she was happy that Bora wanted to learn it right away when she suggested it.

Siyeon walked into the kitchen peeking over to the girls. Bora noticed her and gave her a small smile before she focused back on cutting up some vegetables. Siyeon watched the knife cut through the food and her anxiety only rose higher. The sound was actually making her feel light-headed; like it was counting down the seconds for her. It was now or never. 

"Hey, uh, can we talk for a second?" Siyeon finally asked and put her shaky hands into her back pockets trying to seem cool and relaxed.

"Sure, what's up?" Bora wiped her hands into a kitchen towel and turned her body to Siyeon. 

"Uh..." Siyeon looked over at Handong who was stirring the bowl. "I need to talk to you alone. Can we go to the living room?" 

Bora's eyes changed a bit hearing that and she placed the towel down on the table. "Dongie, call me if you need anything." The two girls walked into the living room and Siyeon closed the door which made Bora feel even more nervous. The younger girl was already behaving weird, not like her usual self. _What is going on?_

"Siyeon, you're kinda scaring me..." Bora spoke slowly sitting down on the couch, staring at the other girl. Siyeon fixed her hair before sitting down on the couch next to her. Not too close because she might explode before she gets the chance to explain herself.

"It isn't anything bad... Just embarrassing, I guess." Siyeon played with her fingers and put her legs up on the couch. She couldn't find a comfortable position at all.

"Tell me." Bora's voice softened up seeing Siyeon being that nervous. She reached over to fix her hair and Siyeon moved her head a bit getting shy already. Just her touch made her tense up, how was she supposed to kiss her. 

Getting through the shock of Bora's touch, Siyeon inhaled and looked over at Bora, who was staring at her visibly more relaxed, but still worried. 

"So, Minji and I were playing around and..." Siyeon began explaining and tried to find the best way not to make it more awkward than it is. "Without getting into too much detail, we bet and I lost." 

"Okay..." Bora dragged out the word and waited for Siyeon to continue. The girl was now staring everywhere but into Bora's eyes. 

"Erm, so she dared me to kiss you." Siyeon gave her an awkward smile and Bora just blankly stared at her.

"A kiss? That's it?" Bora asked and her eyes instantly fell on Siyeon's lips and Siyeon wanted to scream when she noticed it. 

"Well, no... I mean, yes, yes, a kiss... but like..." She stumbled over her words which only got Bora more confused as she leaned forward wanting to understand better. 

"Like, fully, you know..." Siyeon tried to explain it with her hands because she just couldn't get the words out anymore. She was getting way too red in the face; she might get a fever.

"Oh..." 

"Yeah..."

A moment that seemed like years passed by between the two girls before Bora decided to speak again.

"Why would she dare you to do that? That's kind of weird, don't you think? Plus, why me?" Bora narrowed her eyes at the logic of all of that. _Is this what I think it is?_

Siyeon couldn't face her interrogating, suspicious eyes. She couldn't just tell her how Minji was the devil who just wanted to see her suffer.

Still, at the end of the day, Siyeon knew that she was only trying to help, even if it meant to do something like this. She did say, it might be Siyeon's best chance, but she honestly thought she could do without it. But there was always that 'what if'' that kept creeping into the back of her mind. 

"I don't know." It was the only thing Siyeon could muster out and Bora just hummed.

She took a second to think more about it. She decided to go with her feeling to see if her assumptions were correct.

"I mean, you could always lie." Bora suggested. "I could play along and say that we did it." She scanned Siyeon's face up and down. 

"Uh, I'm sure Minji would know if I'm lying or not..." Siyeon argued and let out a sigh, still not looking at Bora whose lips formed a tiny smirk. 

"Well then, let's get it over with." 

_What?_

Siyeon's head snapped and saw Bora sitting closer.

"Come on." Her hand crept around Siyeon's neck and Siyeon instantly backed away further on the couch. 

"No, no, I can't do it." She whined and felt another wave of embarrassment wash all over her. 

"Siyeon, we practically already kissed at that pepero game, come on." Bora rolled her eyes. "I'm doing this for you." 

"I know, but it's really not the same thing." Siyeon's eyes stared at her fingers that were maniacally fidgeting her hoodie.

Bora stood up and sat close to Siyeon with their legs touching. Siyeon prayed Bora couldn't feel how hot her body had become ever since the start of this conversation. 

"Just think of it as something normal..." Bora again looked down at Siyeon's lips. "It's just..." She let her words hang in the air, licking her lips. "...kissing." 

"But what if it's more..." Siyeon whispered and slowly started looking up to meet Bora's eyes. Bora parted her lips and caught Siyeon staring down at them. 

"What do you mean?" She asked quietly, even though she knew. She knew her assumptions were right.

She leaned in a bit closer, her gaze falling again on the lips in front of her.

The girls didn't dare to breathe while looking back and forth into each other's eyes and lips.

Slowly leaning in, they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Bora took the initiative and pressed her lips against Siyeon's making the younger girl's cheeks burn. She placed her hand over Bora's leg while Bora wrapped her hand around Siyeon's neck like she first wanted to. No escaping now. 

Siyeon pulled away slowly, not only because her lungs needed that air back, but also for her nerves to calm down a bit. She didn't think it would feel this amazing. Bora's lips were just wonderful. They tasted too good to be true. 

They looked at each other for a second before hastily crashing their lips again into each other. The feeling that they got, the adrenaline rush was too addicting and they needed more.

Just when Bora was about to straddle her, a knock on the door interrupted them. Siyeon's head swiftly turned to the door while Bora plopped back on the couch next to her.

"Bora, I need help with something now." Handong spoke after opening the door. She thought the two girls seemed weird, almost like she walked in on a scene uninvited or as if she caught them doing something they shouldn't be doing. That was the vibe she got from walking in, but she let it slide. Maybe all that cooking messed with her head.

"I'll be right there, give me a second." Bora happily spoke still feeling high from the kiss and Handong nodded, closing the door again. Bora waited half a second before finally straddling Siyeon causing her lips to form smirk. 

"Admit it..." Siyeon began as she supported herself on her hands behind her. "You wanted to kiss me too." She teased and bit her lip waiting for her answer.

Bora slowly wrapped her arms around Siyeon's neck and pushed her hand into her hair, gently rubbing her skin.

"Badly." She laughed easily admitting to it and before Siyeon could say more, she connected their lips again. She could really get used to this.

"I can't wait..." Siyeon spoke in between kissing. "...for Minji to treat me food for this." She smiled widely against Bora's lips, grabbing her legs and gently squeezing them.

"Make that a plus one, please?" Bora asked and Siyeon kept on smiling against her lips as Bora kissed her hungrily knowing she would have to leave in a minute to help Handong, otherwise she might come back in and actually catch them fooling around.

Bora tried to ignore that thought and just focused on the lovely lips that were kissing her back with just as much passion.

Meanwhile, for Siyeon the reality was finally kicking in. She was kissing her crush. She was kissing Kim Bora. This wasn't just another dream. It was actually happening. She got what she always wanted. She just needed a little push, a little dare. 

_Thanks, Minji, I owe you._


	30. "I'm with you, you know that."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huge shoutout to [ Moonsn0w ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonsn0w/pseuds/Moonsn0w) for helping me brainstorm and inspire me further!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: January 26, 2020  
> Warnings: sui, sui thoughts, sui description 
> 
> Please know that there is always a way.  
> Someone out there deeply cares for you.
> 
> [ \- International hotlines - ](http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html)

"It's such a pleasure to meet you, Miss Lee. Please take a seat."

Siyeon gave the lady a warm smile and sat at the round table. She looked at all the crew members walking around and her manager gave her a thumbs-up as a sign of support. Siyeon's lips broke into a smile and she nodded at her gaining some confidence. 

This will be her first interview after a long while. Ever since the beginning of her career, she was never really a fan of them, especially not now as a solo act, so she avoided them at all cost. Always the same pointless questions. She grew so tired of them. 

However, this interview, in particular would be... different. Not just because it was a famous American magazine that had millions of readers, but because she would be revealing things that were buried deep into her soul. 

The attractive looking lady who would be doing the interview placed the dictaphone in the middle of the table and looked over at Siyeon and smiled with her perfect shiny white teeth. 

"Ready?"

"Ready."

The small gadget made a beeping sound when the lady pressed the button to record. Siyeon took a quick sip of the glass of water that was sitting on the table for her.

"I know a lot of time has passed, but can you please go to the start?" The journalist began.

"In such a traditional country that South Korea was back in the day, how did you come out as a lesbian at the peak of your career?"

Siyeon slowly placed the glass back down and leaned back in the comfortable chair, her eyes fixated on the dictaphone. A tired smile graced her lips as the memories came rushing in and she was soon transported back into the madness. 

_Ten years earlier._

"Bora, I really can't do this anymore." Siyeon cried weakly into Bora's chest as they lied in bed. Bora held her tightly and rubbed her back trying to soothe her never-ending pain.

The pain that just kept growing and growing inside her chest, gradually spreading throughout her whole body.

Bora was also hurting, but luckily, she found ways to distract herself, but Siyeon, she was always the more sensitive one. 

"I can't pretend anymore. I'm sick and tired of answering questions about my ideal type of man. I just want to scream out that I'm gay. I want the whole world to know that my heart belongs to you. I just want to be free." With that last sentence, Siyeon's tears turned into loud sobs. 

Everyone has a breaking point. We endure all the hard punches life throws at us, dodging some, taking some, but at one point, it becomes too much. Too much to deal with. 

Siyeon's happened to be that day. She had enough. 

So, the next day, with all the courage she somehow got or was it the adrenaline, she wasn't quite sure, she had an urgent meeting with the CEO, where she explained in full detail all of her feelings and wishes of coming out as a lesbian.

At first, he didn't know how to react. Such a huge controversy would be the end of the group they have worked so hard on. Everything would be ruined.

They were just about to reach the peak of their careers. The whole nation slowly but steadily was learning to love them. The constant support from the international fans was only growing each comeback. This was a risk. 

They held a couple more meetings, thoroughly discussing the hot topic. Their employees' happiness was the most important thing in the company because it was more than just a plain job.

They were one of the few companies that treated their stars like human beings and not robots with the only purpose of making money. 

"It's a bad idea. It's bad for business. It's bad for you; for the backlash, you will receive." The CEO began and Siyeon's gaze fell to her hands in her lap.

"But..."

That one word made Siyeon's heart fill immediately with hope as she quickly lifted her head to meet the CEO's dark, worried eyes.

"My gut is telling me to let it be. We took a risk with your whole concept as a group." He was anxiously playing with his pen. 

"With our huge international following, we should be good." He looked over at Siyeon and smiled knowing how much this would mean to her.

"I'm willing to risk again."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Siyeon was silently crying and wiping her tears of joy.

She met his eyes and they exchanged smiles.

Humans first, idols second. 

\--

_Breaking news! Dreamcatcher Lee Siyeon comes out as a lesbian! Is Dreamcatcher disbandment coming?!_

_Huge scandal! Rumor - Lee Siyeon leaving Dreamcatcher?! The star vocal from Dreamcatcher is gay!_

_The end of the rising girl group Dreamcatcher? Singer Lee Siyeon is gay!_

_Big K-pop idol is a lesbian! How will the nation react?_

Siyeon shut off the screen just reading the first few hate comments and threw her phone to the side of the bed groaning into the pillow.

She knew how her homeland would react. It was still way too traditional for news such as this. She knew damn well and yet she was still upset. 

"I sometimes wish I wasn't an idol...The world is just too big for me." Siyeon mumbled into the pillow.

"And how would you like the world to be?" Bora questioned and kept scrolling, reading articles on her phone. Siyeon turned on her back and stared at the bunk above.

"I like it the way it is. It's imperfectly perfect in its own way." She sighed shutting her eyes, not knowing if she was making sense. "It's perfect as it is, even with all the bad things."

Bora hummed. "I think I saw that quote somewhere..." She yawned putting her phone away to charge. It was close to midnight and they should be asleep.

A busy schedule is awaiting them this month. Unfortunately for Siyeon, a tv performance tomorrow.

\--

Walking around the busy backstage after using the toilet, Siyeon felt eyes on her constantly, following her every move, whispering behind her back.

It was tough.

She tried to ignore all the stares and whispering like she was some kind of weird creature, but instead of that, she was the topic of Korea's entertainment industry. Whether she liked it or not. It was what she had to go through to feel free, to be herself. 

Seeing another girl group walk towards her, she tried to interact like she usually would, but they quickly passed her not wanting to catch onto her... gayness.

Hopelessly, she lowered her head and continued walking when a security guard looked at her up and down and winked. She felt disgusted by him obviously fetishizing her and quickly jogged to meet the rest of her members.

Before entering the door, she closed her eyes trying to recompose herself and avoid the talk about it. 

"There you are. We're about to go on stage." Minji spoke and Siyeon just nodded avoiding eye contact.

Bora walked closer and whispered in her ear. "You can't fool me. What's up?" She gently took her hand into her own and rubbed her thumb against it.

Siyeon dared to look at her. "I'll tell you later. Promise." She smiled a bit and Bora squeezed her hand.

"Okay. Let's go kill it now."

While performing, Siyeon noticed just how much the cameraman wasn't focusing on her. It was like they were censoring her.

It hurt. Her career and talent should be separated from her sexuality. 

She felt so hurt by it, she ran off the stage once they were done. Bora was, of course, the first one to find her crying in their dressing room. No words of encouragement could make her pain go away. 

"Why does it have to be like this? Why are they so stubborn, so narrow-minded?" Siyeon cried out.

"I keep reading what the international fans are saying and it's nothing but positive comments. It makes me so happy. Why can't our nation be like that?" She wiped her tears and looked around at the girls who didn't know what to tell her. No one had the answer to it.

Siyeon cried the whole night long until she had no more energy and crashed asleep into Bora's loving arms. It was only the first week when the news broke out. How will she manage the rest of the month, year, career... she didn't know. All she knew was that it would be a nightmare. 

\--

Bora watched her girlfriend become miserable each day a bit more and it broke her heart.

She made a mistake one night trying to have sex and Siyeon said she wasn't in the mood. Bora pushed on saying that she can't remember the last time they slept together and Siyeon just shrugged it off.

Bora then took out all of her frustration on her saying that she should get it together and stop being such a crybaby which resulted in a big fight that they barely made up after it.

Bora apologized for her awful words and Siyeon was sorry that she couldn't be a good girlfriend to her. She wasn't in the mood for kissing, for going on dates, for sex, for just talking, nothing.

One day, Bora actually managed to take her out on a walk and all they got were dirty looks and whispers. So Siyeon shut off completely and didn't leave the dorm if she didn't have to. She was slowly losing herself and everything seemed hopeless. 

If sadness had a face, it would be Siyeon's, and Bora didn't know how to help her, she tried everything, but nothing seemed to be working. All she could do was be there for her and not let her slip into the darkness that she was edging on.

Everything seemed to be fairly fine and manageable until one day, Bora rushed into the living room to meet the eyes of Gahyeon and Yubin on the couch.

"Have you guys seen Siyeon?"

The two girls shook their heads and moved their attention back to the tv. Bora groaned and quickly turned around bumping into Yoohyeon.

"Ugh, why-"

"Hey, where's Siyeon? She's not answering my texts." Bora cut her off and Yoohyeon's face dropped.

"She said she'll go out for a walk."

"What?! Alone?! When did she leave?!"

"I-I don't know, like an hour ago?"

Bora quickly grabbed her jacket and sprinted out of the dorm as fast as her legs could carry her. Siyeon wouldn't go out just like that. Especially not alone. 

_This is bad. This is really bad_. She kept repeating the words as her mind was going crazy with thoughts. She must find her, otherwise, it might be too late.

She got into a taxi and told the driver to just start driving around a few places Siyeon might be at.

_God, Siyeon where are you..._

_Please, be okay, please._

Driving around for what seemed to be hours without any success, panic almost got to Bora as her tears got more frequent, when it hit her.

"... imperfectly perfect in its... Oh, shit... The Mapo Bridge!" Bora breathlessly said out loud and the taxi driver gave her a look through the rear-view mirror raising his eyebrows.

"The Mapo Bridge?"

"Drive!" She screamed at him on the verge of new tears and he quickly drove off. 

Bora aimlessly tried to call Siyeon for who knew how many times without any luck. She cried in the backseat and the driver didn't know what to do. A young woman crying wanting to go to that particular place. 

The Mapo Bridge. Also known as the "Suicide Bridge" and "The Bridge of Death".

Over 10 000 Koreans commit suicide monthly by going there. The deaths became so frequent, that Seoul tried everything to prevent them. Placing positive, encouraging messages on the railing to not give up on life, pictures of old people to remind you of your loving parents, phone booths that served as hotlines. There was even a special rescue team formed that monitored security cameras that were placed all across the bridge.

Slowly dragging her feet across the bridge, Siyeon stared at each of the messages. To her, those were just lines of texts without much meaning. They couldn't help her. She felt like nothing could.

With numbness running through her veins, she stopped at a spot and leaned with her elbows on the railing, staring out at The Han river which looked so peaceful at night, but that was just a facade. Hidden behind the calm river were deadly waves that seemed small from the above view. Drowning was inevitable. 

The heavy traffic jam made Bora more and more helpless. They were getting close to the bridge, but Siyeon almost seemed like a distant memory already. 

"Can you go faster, please!"

"Miss, I'm doing everything I can."

The driver was trying to switch lanes, but it was impossible to move forward. The other drivers honked and cursed at whoever caused the congestion to happen. 

Bora chewed on her lip and bounced her legs up and down. She was wasting too much time.

_Fuck_ _it_.

She opened the car door and flew out running.

"Hey! Stop! You must pay!" The driver yelled as he got out the car, but was met with honks from the other cars so he quickly got in and punched the steering wheel. His wife told him so many times that he was too nice and too gullible.

Already forgetting about the driver and getting her own life in danger, Bora ran in between the cars that were still driving. Her vision was blurred by her tears. The thought of losing Siyeon was too much. 

She instinctively stopped when she almost got hit. She ignored the angry driver and continued running.

Siyeon stared down at the dark water that was so mysterious to her, inviting her to find out its secrets. She wondered if the impact would kill her or if she would drown by the waves that were masked by the darkness. 

She climbed a bit to take a look at it. She couldn't hear a thing. Her mind was at peace and loud at the same time. As if she was in a chamber of white noise.

She had made up her mind.

This was it.

This was the end. 

Bora's lungs and spleen were hurting from the amount of sprinting she was doing, but she couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. The fear of losing Siyeon rapidly grew and the probability of her being dead was very high now. 

She stopped running trying to catch some air and spun around trying to find her, but it seemed like the world was spinning. She thought she lost her, she thought it was over, but then her eye caught a figure on the other side of the bridge. Black jacket. Black long hair. A girl.

"Siyeon?" She inaudibly spoke and started crossing the sea of cars who again honked thinking that she was out of her mind being so careless.

She couldn't care, she was approaching her girlfriend fast and just when she wanted to call her over again, she saw the girl climbing over the railing. Bora's eyes widened in shock. 

"Stop! Siyeon! Stop! No!" She screamed her lungs out with the last breath she gathered and cried running towards, but it was too late.

Splash.

A sound Bora wished she never heard in her life.

She leaned over the railing to see the body floating in the river. She brought her hand to her mouth. She wanted to throw up. She began shaking and dropped down on her knees. Her head was spinning.

_I lost her._

_I lost Siyeon._

_She's dead._

_She's actually dead._

_It's my fault._

_It's all my fault._

_"_ I should've been there for you..." She started talking and her tears were already running down her cheeks again.

"I should've been there to ease your pain. I'm so sorry, Siyeon." She sobbed grabbing the end of her jacket with her hands. 

The boat lights from the rescue team caught her attention and she stared down grabbing the railing as they pulled out the body. 

She barely got back up on her feet to try to see better. The men on the boat placed the lifeless body down, face covered in black wet hair. They began the procedure of trying to bring her back to life, but it seemed like it was already a lost cause.

"Siyeon!" Bora screamed and slowly leaned down, resting on the railing. Her bawling attracted some crowd around her, but no one dared to step closer and try to help her. It was pointless. 

Bora didn't know what force prevented her from jumping off right there and then. 

Life had lost all meaning. What was the point in living now? The love of her life was gone. 

Bora moved away from the railing, falling and sitting on the ground with her back to it. Shutting her eyes, she hid her face into her knees.

"I'm so sorry." Her voice was already so weak it was barely audible. "I'm so sorry, Siyeon."

"Who's the crybaby now?" 

Bora stopped breathing for a second and shot her eyes open to the familiar husky voice. She lifted her head to meet Siyeon's sad eyes. 

Whatever she wanted to say got choked up in her throat and came out as a cry. She hastily stood up throwing herself into Siyeon's embrace. Hugging her tightly Siyeon buried her head into Bora's hair. 

"I'm so sorry." Siyeon choked on her words. "I'm so sorry, baby."

Bora cried into her chest because she couldn't find any words to tell her.

One minute you think the person you loved the most was dead, gone forever, and the next minute they are holding you tightly. What is there to be said? 

Bora wanted to tell her so much yet felt like she was going to faint by the number of emotions she experienced over the last hour. 

"I love you." Siyeon quietly whispered. It was the only thing besides apologizing that came out.

Bora pulled back, grabbing her face to scan her face. She shook her head just thinking someone so beautiful could be gone.

She leaned in to kiss her deeply. It was the first time they would be kissing in public like that. They didn't count all those quick kisses that no one saw. This was special. 

People were passing by, some gathering to watch the rescue team do their job. And for a few seconds, no one cared for the two girls kissing. A few blissful seconds. 

Bora pulled away leaning her forehead against Siyeon's.

"I love you too." She quietly said trying to focus on her breathing. Her heart was slowly calming down.

"H-How did you know I would be here?" Siyeon asked opening her eyes and moving back, letting Bora's hands slide off her. 

"You said that time..." Bora swallowed her new tears and wiped them with her sleeve. "That the world is too big for you." Bora continued and Siyeon nodded and a tired smile showed up on her face for the first time in a while.

"And..." 

"It's one of the messages here at the bridge." Siyeon spoke before Bora could even continue. She stayed silent for a second still wiping her puffy eyes before nodding. 

"What about that girl who jumped?" Siyeon asked and Bora turned her head to look at the river again. The rescue boat was already gone and it seemed like nothing happened. Another life, gone just like that. 

"I don't know." She answered weakly. They stayed silent paying respect towards that girl. Bora wiped her tears and took a big breath in, taking Siyeon's hand and never wanting to let go.

"Let's go home, please." 

Once they have arrived back, they agreed on not telling the other girls anything; to spare them from worrying. The truth hurts and you need to get hurt by it, so you can move forward, but living in oblivion is easier and sometimes, you just need that. 

Bora ran Siyeon a bath and helped her wash up.

It was at that time, Siyeon broke down crying. The silence of the bathroom and the water surrounding her reminded her of the river that was calling for her. It finally hit her what could have happened.

She didn't want to end her life. She didn't want to leave Bora. She didn't want to leave her members. She didn't want to leave her family. And yet, that thought came over her when she least expected it and once it was in her head, it was hard to get rid of it. Joyful were the moments where she didn't think about it or was distracted somehow. But those were rare.

"When I got to the bridge, I had already made up my mind. I thought this was it. Then I saw that poor girl take her own life and I realized how scared I got and how much I don't actually want to do die. I was so clouded by my thoughts and I heard you scream my name and... and..." Her heart was hurting too much to finish her thoughts, so she just poured tears down her cheeks again.

She didn't know humans could cry this much, but there she was, sitting naked in a bath crying over her failed attempt. A failed attempt at death or a successful attempt at life.

Was it the girl, Bora's scream, both, or something else that changed her mind, she didn't quite know. Regardless, she was thankful for a second chance.

A chance she wouldn't ever let go to waste.

Bora gently rubbed her back and leaned down to kiss her shoulder.

"It's okay. You're safe now." She tried to reassure Siyeon that she could always lean on her no matter what and how she would always be there for her. 

Siyeon knew that. She knew how much Bora loved her. Yet today, she felt so hopeless; like the whole world hated her; as if no one cared for her. 

It's important now and then to tell people you care for that you love them. Better yet, show them. Because words are often so empty. So plain.

When you don't do that, people might start thinking that you grew tired of them or that you don't love or even like them anymore; which can be very upsetting.

A sudden change in attitude can make a person go crazy with thoughts, when in reality the other person just had a bad day, a bad week. It isn't as deep as we make it out to be, still, we let ourselves get hurt. 

Everyone has at least a few people who they love or care for. Family, partner, friends, that old lady who always greets them so brightly as if they were their own grandchild, or that neighbor's kid who runs to them, telling them that they are their favorite neighbor.

All of them would be upset if that person was gone, yet they didn't tell them how much they mean to them and vice versa. Why? The reason behind it is that most people spend their time only thinking about themselves. When we think of other people, it's in relation to us. How they made us feel, what they said to us, etc. Most of us are guilty of it and it's very human to be like that. 

But then again, if you shower the people you love with too much love, there is if something like too much love is even humanly possible, the other person might suffocate. Then you would feel as if they are cold towards you and that they perhaps don't love you anymore. You begin to overthink the smallest details and your mind isn't always your best friend. 

On a positive note though, people express their love for you in many different ways, without actually saying the whole sentence. 

Most of the time you don't even notice.

They themselves don't notice.

And sometimes, not often, you do notice.

You do notice and it's the best feeling in the entire universe. 

\--

"And the award for the best solo dance performance goes to... Dreamcatcher's Kim Bora!" 

Bora stood up from her chair, hand hovering over her mouth careful not to ruin her lipstick. The other girls hugged her tightly congratulating her. Siyeon almost kissed her but stopped herself from doing so.

Everyone knew she was gay by now, but she didn't need to drag her girlfriend into it.

The dancer was quickly on her way to pick up her award. She thanked the presenters and got closer to the microphone that was still too tall for her even though she was wearing heels.

She looked at the award once again then back around the big hall and Siyeon was smiling so brightly at that sight.

_If I'd killed myself back then, I wouldn't have the chance to experience this moment._

She shook that thought away and instead tried to focus on Bora's speech. 

"...and I wouldn't have done it without the support of my amazing members. Minji, Siyeon, Handong, Yoohyeon, Yubin, Gahyeon... this one is for you." She raised the award and the girls clapped and Yoohyeon started shouting something, but Gahyeon quickly placed her hand over her mouth. No need to embarrass the whole group.

"I'd also like to take this moment to publicly congratulate Siyeon on coming out." There were definitely fewer cheers in the hall than before. Some idols were still stuck in their traditional mindset.

"I'm with you, you know that."

Siyeon nodded at Bora and gave her a small smile. She was her happiness. Each day making her fall in love more, but the next sentence that left Bora's mouth made her fall for her even harder. 

"I'm so proud to call you my girlfriend."

A gasp from the entire hall. Bora's eyes never left Siyeon's shocked ones. 

"I love you so much. Thank you." 

Bora started to leave with the two award presenters to the backstage. They quickly congratulated her again and smiled at her. 

Silence surrounded the hall as everyone looked around at each other not sure if that really happened. Siyeon's mouth was slightly open from the shock and her eyes were still glued to the stage watching her girlfriend disappear.

At last, people slowly stood up and started clapping. One by one, getting off their seats as the clapping intensified and got louder and louder. There were even some cheers.

Soon enough, the entire hall was clapping for them.

For Bora.

For Siyeon.

For love. 

Ever since that night, more K-pop idols got the courage to come forward with their sexuality. 

Siyeon's story left a big impact and Korea slowly got more open to the idea, that humans could love humans, no matter the sex or gender. It was an important stepping stone to a brighter future. 

\--

The lady leaned back slowly in her seat. She was so into Siyeon's story, for a second, she forgot it was an interview.

She exhaled and wiped a few tears that were threatening to leave the corner of her eyes. Siyeon watched her and couldn't help but chuckle a little.

The lady gave her a small smile and shook her head at all the emotions she felt. 

"I think this was my favorite interview by far." 

"Thank you."

"I should be the one thanking you for doing this." The lady nodded.

"One more question though, if you don't mind." Siyeon nodded and raised her eyebrows awaiting the last question.

"Are you still with Kim Bora?"

Siyeon looked away smiling, staring into the distance.

"She has never left my side. Not once." Her expression dropped slightly again remembering that day.

"She saved me, in every way possible and..." She looked down at her hands in her lap then back to meet the curious journalist's eyes. "I'm forever thankful to her." 

The lady stared deeply into Siyeon's eyes noticing all the pain behind them. The pain that she would have to carry until her last breath. 

She reached over to stop the dictaphone from recording any longer.

"Thank you for sharing your story."

\--

Closing the magazine, Bora stared again at the front cover that her girlfriend was gracing. Long, black hair and a fierce look that cut deep into the soul. The photographer really captured her well. 

"The girl who changed Korea." Bora spoke out loud reading the title. She leaned closer to Siyeon to kiss her cheek. 

"You look beautiful and you did so well. I'm so proud of you."

Siyeon was too immersed into the river that would never be just an ordinary river to her. 

"It should have been you on the cover, not me." She quietly spoke.

Bora carefully placed her fingers under Siyeon's chin making her turn her head. Siyeon looked at her before her eyes fell on Bora's lips. 

They leaned in closing the gap, kissing each other softly. Siyeon smiled and stole one more kiss from those sweet lips.

"You got the candle?" Bora asked and Siyeon nodded.

The summer breeze was making their hair dance as they walked slowly hand in hand across the bridge.

Cars were driving by fast, as usual, people walking their dogs, students talking about exams.

It seemed like a normal day at first, but what made it different and made Siyeon's heart fill with so much warmth were the two girls aged twenty-something kissing, being totally lost in each other, not caring for who sees them. 

For them, at that moment, only their lips moving against each other mattered.

"You really changed the nation, Siyeon." Bora said smiling at the girls as they passed them. It was getting darker and the sun was almost gone behind the buildings in the distance.

Siyeon opened her bag to take out the candle and the lighter she brought.

They stopped at the familiar spot and Siyeon crouched down to light the candle and place it on the ground. She stood back up and took Bora's hand into her own.

They stood in silence remembering the girl from that day years ago, hoping her soul rests in peace.

Every month, they go together to the Mapo Bridge to light a candle for the girl who was there at the same time as Siyeon. Not only for her but for everyone who thought there was no way out.

Because each of them needed someone that cared. 


	31. Scared, me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Published on aff on: March 7, 2020  
> Warnings: none

"Damn, these are so cool!"

"I want to get one too!"

"Did it hurt?"

"I really love this one!"

The girls were in awe of Yubin's new tattoos. It was surprising to everyone that she was the first one to get some after the manager told them that they could get tattoos and piercings if they wanted to. It was truly the best company in the business and the girls were grateful for that.

Siyeon thought about it the whole day long.

Tattoos always fascinated her. It was a way to express yourself, put whatever you want on your skin, but the catch was that it was forever on there.

Sure, there was a way to remove it, but you still remembered how you got it, when you got it, how much it hurt.

It would become a part of you, which was very beautiful in a strange way. 

She always wanted to get one, two, maybe even three, who knew. Something small and cute.

The idea of getting a tattoo seemed fun, but Siyeon wasn't sure if she could actually fully commit to it.

What if she started to hate it after a month? What if it would fade away quickly? What if the tattoo artist would suddenly sneeze and mess everything up?

A lot of questions were bugging her. Plus, her parents would probably scold her for how they would say, 'ruining her body'. Tattoos were for criminals; the older generation would argue.

She groaned loudly just picturing the painful conversation with them and got off her bed. Walking out, she went into Bora's room and found her sitting on the floor with papers and pens scattered around her.

"Love of my life, what are you up to?" Siyeon asked while she sat down next to her and hugged her arm tightly.

"Oh, drawing?" She said after seeing a bunch of cute little drawings of birds, elephants, wolfs and other animals.

"Actually, I'm designing my tattoo."

"What?" Siyeon blurred out in shock. "You're really going to get one just after seeing Yubin's?"

Bora ignoring her question, took the paper moving it further away from her to get a better look which made Siyeon drop her grip on her arm.

"Aren't these cute?"

Siyeon hummed. "Which one do you want to get?"

Bora placed the paper down and shifted her body so she was facing Siyeon. She took both of her hands and Siyeon immediately started playing with them.

How could a person have such tiny hands, she would never understand, but she wouldn't change them for the world. 

"I thought about something." Bora started and looked excitedly into Siyeon's eyes which kind of scared her because whenever Bora announced something like that, it was always trouble. She knew those eyes, that fire in them.

"I'm all ears."

Bora grinned. "How about you and I get a tattoo together?" She raised her eyebrows awaiting the positive answer of her girlfriend.

"Together?" Siyeon blinked a few times not knowing if she understood correctly.

"Yes, matching ones." Bora nodded and bit her bottom lip.

Siyeon's gaze fell on her lips and she smiled a bit. "Isn't there like a thing that couples break up after getting matching tattoos or the names of their partner?"

Bora's bright expression dropped hearing that. "You really think after all of what we went through, that we would break up because of that?"

"I don't know!" Siyeon defended herself. "I just read that you shouldn't get couple tattoos because in most cases it ends badly."

"Well even if we do..." Bora began quietly. "Which we won't by the way." She sighed shaking her head. "I wouldn't mind having something that reminded me of you until the day I die, but whatever I guess." She shrugged and let go of Siyeon's hands.

Siyeon saw the mood turned sour and she took back Bora's hand into her own. "Baby, don't twist my words please, you know I love you. I'm just saying we should think this through and not just jump straight into it." She kissed the back of Bora's hand which made her smile a bit.

"Yeah, okay, you're right." Bora nodded closing her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Siyeon smiled again and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "But still, tell me which tattoos do you have in mind for us to get?" 

"I thought about you get a little wolf and I get a little bird, what do you think?" Bora asked picking her papers back up. Siyeon stared a bit at the drawings when an idea hit her.

"How about we switch?" She spoke and Bora furrowed her eyebrows. 

"Switch?" 

Siyeon hummed and moved a streak of Bora's hair behind her ear to see that gorgeous side profile better.

"I get a little bird that reminds me of you, and you get a little wolf aka me." She kissed Bora's cheek again before she could even respond.

Bora's mouth was a little bit open from Siyeon's amazing idea and she immediately looked down at her wrist imagining the tattoo already being there.

"Siyeon...That's so... Ugh, I love you." 

"I love you too, my little birdie." 

Bora squealed and threw herself onto Siyeon hugging her around her neck making them both fall on the floor. 

\--

"This is it, right?" Siyeon spoke staring at the tattoo shop exterior. The black brick walls and the name shining in white neon lights which Yubin described, indicated that they were at the right spot.

"Yes. Let's go!" Bora pulled Siyeon's arm dragging them into the studio.

After a month of discussion and designing their tattoos, they finally had the time to get them. They were ready and nothing was going to stop them.

Walking in, their eyes scanned the place, but there wasn't much to see. 

The interior had a very minimalist modern look. High ceiling, few plants and succulents scattered around to give the place a bit of life. Everything was neat and organized, with some indie music giving it that final touch.

"Oh, hey, I'll get right to you, can you please wait five minutes?" The man who appeared in the room was covered in tattoos from head to toe and the girls' eyes fell on them before nodding.

He walked to a different room, leaving them alone, and Siyeon sat on the black couch and picked up what seemed to be a portfolio.

Bora picked up another one and they were quietly looking through it, occasionally showing each other something they like, while bobbing their heads to the rhythm of the music.

The whole atmosphere was relaxing. They knew they could trust Yubin when she recommended this place. 

"Here I am." The man came back and the girls placed the portfolios back on the table. They walked over and shook his hand, introducing themselves properly. 

"You brought the designs, right?" He asked and Bora took them out of her handbag.

"These are pretty nice. Did you draw them?" 

Bora blushed a bit at his compliment and just nodded shyly. He walked over to the table, sat down and started to make tattoo stencils off Bora's drawings. He was quickly finished and got up putting on a new pair of black gloves.

"So, who's going first?" He asked carefully getting all of his tools ready. 

With one glance the girls knew. They knew what they need to do. It was how they decided everything. 

"Rock, paper, scissors!" Shouting at the same time perfectly in sync, they pulled a face. Bora's mouth was open wide and Siyeon was scrunching up her face. 

"I win!" Bora exclaimed. Siyeon sighed and rolled the sleeve of her sweatshirt up. She sat down on the chair and placed her right arm on the table in front of her.

She was met with the confused eyes of the tattooer. The girls giggled and Bora waved her hand at him.

"Ignore us, please." 

Chuckling at their antics, he hovered the stencil over Siyeon's wrist. 

"Here?"

"Hm, a bit lower please." Siyeon asked and the tattooer did so.

"Perfect!" She said and he gently pressed it on her skin and lifted the paper off. Bora curiously leaned closer to see the purple outlines of the birdie. She smiled approvingly and Siyeon gave her a smile back. 

"Do you tattoo a lot of couples?" Bora suddenly asked.

"They do come a lot. It's mostly the girl that drags the guy to get matching tattoos. They have been dating for five months and decide to get each other's names tattooed forever on their body. It's ridiculous, honestly. However, it's my job. It's not like I can just tell them no, you know?" He shrugged and took the machine in his hand. "Ready?" 

"I hope so." Siyeon joked and watched his hand move closer. The needle began stabbing her skin repeatedly. She could feel Bora's gaze switching back and forth between the tattoo and Siyeon's face.

"Does it hurt?" Bora questioned.

"No, I'm good. It tickles." Siyeon giggled. The tiny pain was kind of enjoyable. No wonder people get addicted to it.

"May I ask why did you choose to get tattoos?" The artist spoke while focusing on finishing the line.

"We decided to just get something to remind us of each other." 

"Yeah, I had tons of friends do that." He nodded as he wiped the excess ink off Siyeon's skin.

"Mhm...friends." Siyeon quietly said winking at Bora who widened her eyes at her to not expose them like that. The tattooer was oblivious enough, there was no need to give him more hints.

"I mean, it's less likely for best friends to part, unlike those couples blinded by love." He added.

"Oh, Bora and I overcome everything." Siyeon smiled and Bora slowly took her free hand interlacing them. "Remember when you got upset about that thing and refused to talk to me about it?" 

"Yeah, that sucked ass, but I learned from my mistake and I know now that I need to tell you stuff. No matter what it is." Bora sighed remembering the incident. She was acting petty just because she got hurt. If she talked to Siyeon right away, a lot of drama could have been prevented.

"Communication is key. It solves everything. We can't just ignore each other because that leads to nowhere. Just more pain. You have to put egos aside and openly talk about the problem and try to find the best solution." Siyeon spoke staring at the almost finished tattoo.

The buzzing sound of the needle that was piercing through Siyeon's skin was the only sound in the room as the girls were remembering all the petty arguments and fights they had in the past.

People hurt each other unintentionally and say words they don't mean in a heated moment. It's important to remember that it's them versus the problem, not them versus each other. Everything can be fixed, just both parties need to want it, otherwise, just one person will be trying hard and that could also lead to nothing.

Siyeon lifted her head and her eyes met Bora's. She mouthed 'I love you' to her which pulled her lips apart showing her perfect teeth. Her lips answered Siyeon with 'I love you too, baby'.

Their lovely moment was interrupted by the artist pushing his chair back. "Alright, done." The little bird Bora designed was sitting perfectly on Siyeon's wrist.

In a weird way, it really resembled Bora a lot. Small, cute, fierce. 

"I love it so much!" Siyeon smiled and Bora quickly pulled out her phone to take a picture. The artist wrapped Siyeon's tattoo and explained the whole process of healing and how to take proper care of it.

"Your turn." Siyeon smirked getting up and Bora gulped. 

"Oh, yeah...Right." She nervously said and sat down slowly as if the chair might break. She saw the artist come back with the wolf stencil.

"Wait, ah, which one do I do, left or right?!" She looked up at Siyeon in panic who couldn't help but laugh.

"You were all cocky before coming here, what happened now? Scared?" She mocked her putting her hands on her hips.

"Scared, me?" Bora put on her best acting face pretending like she wasn't absolutely terrified. Like she didn't want to run out of the studio. Like she didn't have second thoughts. Not because of the tattoo idea, but because of the fear of the whole process. Deep down, she knew she was a scaredy-cat.

Siyeon could see right through her and took her left hand giving it a little squeeze. "I suggest you do this arm so when we hold hands, our tattoos can meet." Siyeon said and ran her thumb softly over Bora's hand. 

Bora looked up at Siyeon and bit her lip imagining the scene. She nodded and barely refrained herself from kissing her right there. She let go of it and placed her arm across the table. 

Watching the artist do his thing, she was in a bit of pain, but she was trying hard not to show it; biting her lips and making a fist with her other hand. Siyeon was gently rubbing her back which helped a bit to distract her, but her wrist already felt sore. Her eyes were glued on the needle as it filled her skin with black ink. 

A wolf on her body. 

Forever.

A shy smile graced her lips and she suddenly felt more relaxed. 

_My_ _wolf_. 

\--

Grabbing them by the arms to check out their freshly done tattoos, Yoohyeon groaned loudly.

"Ugh, guys no!" She sighed in disappointment. "You know you should never get couple tattoos!" 

"Yeah, you'll break up like... Right now!" Gahyeon added jokingly and pointed to the clock on the wall as if the moment was about to happen. 

The two girls rolled their eyes at their comments and Siyeon pulled Bora closer by the waist.

"When two people truly love each other, they won't let anything come in between them and their bond." Siyeon spoke looking directly into Bora's eyes making her smile and lean in for a kiss which soon turned into a deeper one.

"Gross!" Gahyeon groaned leaving the room and making everyone laugh loudly.

\--

Lying comfortably in Bora's bed, Siyeon was staring at her perfectly healed tattoo. 

"Weeks passed after getting our tattoos and we're still together, huh?" Siyeon asked turning on her tummy and Bora rolled her eyes and continued scrolling through her phone.

"I told you so, stupid." 

"I want to get something." Siyeon spoke quietly with a mischievous smirk that was slowly pulling her lips upwards.

Bora stopped scrolling and raised an eyebrow. She moved more up on the bed leaning her back against the pillow.

"Baby, that smirk is awfully scary, what do you mean exactly?" Bora questioned putting the phone down. "Another tattoo?" 

Siyeon straddled Bora and wrapped her arms around her neck to which Bora reacted by placing her hands on Siyeon's thighs.

Siyeon leaned closer to her ear and Bora felt her hot breath she exhaled against her skin. It was like she purposely did it for a dramatic pause. She knew damn well it doesn't take her long to get turned on.

"I want to get... a nipple piercing." 

The way those words fell out of Siyeon's mouth, her raspy voice echoing inside Bora's ear made her dizzy and cover her skin with goosebumps.

"Lee Siyeon, are you actually insane?" Bora was looking up at Siyeon who had the most devilish smile on.

Bora didn't know if she was turned on by the idea or utterly petrified. Probably both.

"How about we go tomorrow?" Siyeon impulsively suggested leaning closer pressing herself onto Bora's body.

"Hm, what happened to not jumping straight into things?" Bora teased raising her eyebrows. 

"Oh, we can think it through." Siyeon leaned in closing the gap between their lips. 

"Do you think the break-up curse works on piercings too?" Bora whispered and saw Siyeon's eyes sparkle as she understood what she was trying to say.

"Let me see them for one last night, piercing-free." Siyeon smirked slowly lifting Bora's oversized shirt gradually exposing her defined tummy.

In a swift move, Bora pulled her shirt over Siyeon's head making her press her face against her chest.

Both girls burst out laughing until tears came. Siyeon barely managed to get out of there and began tickling Bora who was laughing like a maniac which was music to Siyeon's ears.

They knew deep inside their hearts, that no matter what would happen in the future, their bond would remain just how it always was. 

Unbroken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :)  
> Find me on twitter [ @flowersforyall ](https://twitter.com/flowersforyall)


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